Ep 400: Sounds Quote But Okay
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl (that's me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode: Sounds Quote But Okay.
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pooooood! We are 400 years old!
KAYLA: For the 400th time! Really, it's not the 400th time though, because there is that one lost episode and…
SARAH: There's like the bonus episode from Ireland.
KAYLA: Yeah, there has been some bonus ones in there…
SARAH: There's a couple…
KAYLA: There's the missing one.
SARAH: Yeah. But…
KAYLA: But officially...
SARAH: But officially.
KAYLA: The 400th time. Can you guys believe Sarah texted me like a week ago and was like, “it's time.”
SARAH: Let me tell you why I did that. Because we recorded last week on Tuesday.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: When did I start editing? Saturday at 11:15 a.m.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And by that, I mean, I opened it and put the files in at 11:15…
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: But did not start editing until 12:15.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Pacific time! At which point the patrons are supposed to already have it.
KAYLA: Yeah, you know
SARAH: And so, I… when I edited that late, I don't make Kayla upload it, I upload it myself.
KAYLA: Which is very nice.
SARAH: And I saw that it was 399. And I was like, “oh my God, next week is 400.” And that's the only reason I knew.
KAYLA: Oh, I see.
SARAH: Well, also when I edit them, I have for the past couple of dozen episodes, I've started putting the number on them.
KAYLA: That's smart.
SARAH: So, I would have seen it anyway, but, you know.
KAYLA: Well, here we are.
SARAH: Here we are.
KAYLA: 400 years old.
SARAH: 400 years old! Vampiric. Do we have any housekeeping for our 400th birthday?
KAYLA: We're old.
SARAH: Guys, this is your reminder next year to not let us forget our 10th birthday.
KAYLA: Oh my God, you guys, if we forget the 10th birthday… I don't even know what day it's… I never even remember what day…
SARAH: It's July 31st.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: It's Harry Potter's birthday.
KAYLA: Ugh…
SARAH: Harry didn't do anything wrong.
KAYLA: That's fair.
SARAH: It was the...
KAYLA: It was that woman.
SARAH: It was his omniscient creator.
KAYLA: I suppose. Well, we can reclaim his birthday.
SARAH: Mold-infested creator.
KAYLA: Yeah. Okay, well, we all need to really work together to A, not forget it. And to B, maybe do something fun for once. Remember when we used to do things like all the time? That was crazy.
SARAH: I was thinking today about how we used to plan the topics of our episodes.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because I came up with... I came up with an episode topic today, but I was like, wait, we'll have to do it next week…
KAYLA: Imagine!
SARAH: And I was like, remember when we would plan ahead.
KAYLA: We used to do that, yeah.
SARAH: And now we literally can't.
KAYLA: We just… listen, there’s just too much going on. That was also during a time where we had nothing going on.
SARAH: I was in LA and I had an internship.
KAYLA: Okay. At that time, I don't know what we were doing, but after that it was COVID so we really had nothing going on.
SARAH: Yes, that's true.
KAYLA: Before that, I don't know what kind of energy we were having
SARAH: I think the summer I was gone, we had to do extra planning to…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Because we prerecorded half of them and then we recorded the other half.
KAYLA: That is so crazy, because if that happened nowadays, we'd be like, well, guess we're taking extra months off.
SARAH: Guess we’re taking a whole summer off, I don't know.
KAYLA: We were just rising and grinding, I guess.
SARAH: Way too committed to the bit. Anyway, it's because of that rising and grinding that we are here, episode 400 on our 400th birthday.
KAYLA: It’s true, mm-hmm
SARAH: Our housekeeping is thanks for being here, we don't know why you are, but thank you.
KAYLA: We don’t know why
SARAH: You're cool probably
KAYLA: You're cool.
SARAH: Okay. Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: Okay, this week…
SARAH: This week is entirely, entirely the work of Discord user Dor Min
KAYLA: Yes. One of our amazing Discord moderators, Dor Min, which by the way, you should join the Discord, it's good.
SARAH: Yes. So, I told Kayla, I was like, well, next week is 400. It's like, we should do something special. But what? And she said, you should ask the cord
KAYLA: It's just my answer for everything.
SARAH: I almost was like, you ask the cord, but then I was like, no, I'm brave.
KAYLA: You’re very brave.
SARAH: I can do brave things. And by that, I mean, open Discord.
KAYLA: Open an app.
SARAH: And I said, hello, does anyone have any ideas? And Dor Min said, yes, I'm going to… well, basically they asked, they were like, oh, like if I gathered quotes, and you had to guess who said them, like, would that be fun? And I was like, yeah…
KAYLA: It’d be so fun
SARAH: But like, I don't want to make you do that work. So, only if you want to.
KAYLA: And then they did
SARAH: But they did want to. And so, their little ADHD brain motored them into coming up with a bunch of quotes from the podcast. And me and Kayla, except for the first one, which I accidentally spoiled for myself.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Neither me or Kayla knows who said which quote.
KAYLA: Yeah. Dor Min put this together so well. It's like all set up at Discord for us. The answer is like hidden. So, you have to click to see it. It is chef's kiss. It’s so good.
SARAH: Yeah. So, this is entirely… this episode is for you Dor Min.
KAYLA: No, truly.
SARAH: Also, it came up when we were talking about it. Remember Out of Context Sounds Fake But Okay on Twitter?
KAYLA: Ah, yeah
SARAH: Remember when Twitter wasn't horrible? I still spend every day there. But remember?
KAYLA: I miss her. I miss her.
SARAH: Anyway. Okay…
KAYLA: Oh, so we should… So, Dor Min pulled 20 out of context quotes from the first 100 episodes of the podcast.
SARAH: So, this is old.
KAYLA: So that’s like old.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Ten are from you. Ten are from me. Two bonus points are up for grabs. If you could identify the one quote from each of us that is not from the podcast, but it instead was something we said in the Discord.
SARAH: And it made it on the Discord Milkboard, which is when a lot of people like…
KAYLA: Something
SARAH: Something they milk react to it. And then if it gets enough milk reacts, it goes on the Milkboard automatically.
KAYLA: Yeah. So, a lot of really good stuff you're missing over on the Discord if you're not there.
SARAH: I don't know how often things make the Milkboard these days, but it used to be popping.
KAYLA: I love the Milkboard.
SARAH: I got to check that out after this.
KAYLA: I'm looking right now, there's some good stuff on there
SARAH: Great
KAYLA: Not as much as there used to be…
SARAH: Not as frequent?
KAYLA: But also, listen, it should be infrequent, only for the best.
SARAH: Right. It needs to be a special occasion to make the Milkboard.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Okay. Shall we just dive in?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: This first one is for Kayla only because I accidentally uncovered the answer.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: It says, “you shouldn't try and build a house, I don't think it's going to go well. You might ask for a two by four and they give you a four by four.”
KAYLA: Okay. It's hard hearing it because at first I read this and I was like, I think that might be me talking to you, like telling you, but then hearing you read it in your voice, I was like, well, that sounds like a Sarah thing to say.
SARAH: I'm just trying to think what context this could have possibly been in.
KAYLA: Oh, I mean… I know. I'm excited, I hope someone tells us the context of these because… so…
SARAH: Do you need to read it out loud yourself to balance it out?
KAYLA: Well, I… it's not going to… like, I can't… I don't know if hearing myself is going to really be that helpful. I'm going to say, I think it's you that said it.
SARAH: That is correct, it is me
KAYLA: Is it?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Okay. Wow.
SARAH: Okay. The next one. “The problem is I don't know enough about gravity to understand how zero gravity works.” I think you said that.
KAYLA: I think so too. That sounds like something I would say.
SARAH: Yeah. Like it sounds like something I would believe in my heart, but I would only like agree with it once you said it, like it wouldn't come out of my soul, you know.
KAYLA: It feels like this would have come up when we were talking about one of our few disagreements…
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: And one of them is about…
SARAH: What the center of the universe is
KAYLA: If universe has a center and where it is. I feel like this would have come up in that context.
SARAH: Yeah. The universe does not have a center by the way…
KAYLA: It does, it's just never… you can never know where it is.
SARAH: Scientifically.
KAYLA: I…
SARAH: Oh, yeah, that was you, it was Kayla.
KAYLA: I just can't get into this with you. It does have a center; it's just always moving.
SARAH: Okay. The next one, number three. “Wow. 2017, Sarah, stay woke.” I think that was you. Well… okay, here's the problem, when… the names that are like hidden, our names are roughly the same size.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But there's a very slight difference.
KAYLA: Stop looking at it, you're cheating.
SARAH: I'm not doing it on purpose.
KAYLA: Just don't look at it.
SARAH: Imagine I say that and then I get this one wrong.
KAYLA: Just don't look at it. So, you think that's you?
SARAH: No, I think it was you. I don't think stay woke is something I would say, but now I'm like, well, maybe.
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: I mean, I don't think it was something I would say either, except for like ironically.
SARAH: Well, I mean, it was definitely said ironically, it's just…
KAYLA: I'm just, I don't know, like in what… were we like looking back at something that you had like… what happened in 2017 that we would be referencing?
SARAH: I came out publicly…
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: We started the podcast...
KAYLA: Who's to say?
SARAH: Who's to say?
KAYLA: Okay, I think…
SARAH: What's our final vote?
KAYLA: I think it might be me.
SARAH: Kayla, Kayla, Kayla. It was Kayla.
KAYLA: I did it.
SARAH: We were correct. We're three for three.
KAYLA: It won't let me click on it! Oh, there it is. Sorry.
SARAH: Number four. “If you're the CEO of Pornhub, is that something that you tell everyone? People are like, what do you do? And you're like, I'm the CEO of Pornhub.”
KAYLA: Ah, that's funny, that’s good
SARAH: I feel like maybe me.
KAYLA: Yeah. Again, hearing it in your voice, I was like, it just sounds like a Sarah thing to say.
SARAH: Also, listening… like editing the podcast every week, I have a decent handle on what each of our vocal tics are, especially my own, because no one is ever paying attention to you the way you're paying attention to you.
KAYLA: I don't have a single vocal tic, me personally.
SARAH: No. And I say ‘like’ a lot, we both do.
KAYLA: No!
SARAH: But I say it in the context of ‘people are like,’ and ‘you're like,’ I say it like that a lot.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: So, I do think it is me.
KAYLA: Okay, I think that makes sense.
SARAH: It was me, yes. Okay. Number five. “There's other cheaper ways to show your devotion, like, here's a flower.”
KAYLA: I feel like that's me, I don't quite know why.
SARAH: Okay, my instinct was you because you're the kind of person… not the kind of person…
KAYLA: Oh!
SARAH: But like say… having say like, here's a flower, singular, is something you would say. But then I'm looking at it and it seems like something that I would be confused about.
KAYLA: See, I see it as more like… I'm reading it as me complaining about something. I'm like, oh, why would you spend all this money on X, Y, Z? There's a cheaper way, a flower.
SARAH: Yeah. Ultimately, I do think it is you.
KAYLA: I think it's me.
SARAH: Both of our instincts. Let's see. Correct!
KAYLA: It's true.
SARAH: Sorry. I just skipped to the next one after the next one and I was like, I know exactly who that is. Number six. “Imagine me being straight.”
KAYLA: Okay, this is tough, because I know at some point we did an episode about like, oh, what if we had different sexualities?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And I know we've had a conversation several times about like, oh, if Sarah was dating it would be terrible because you'd be bad at it. But at the same time, we also have had conversations about like, oh, ha ha, remember when you used to identify as straight, to me.
SARAH: Right, mm-hmm. Like, my instinct, especially think about the first 100 episodes, though.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I think it's more likely to be me because it's from the first 100 episodes.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair.
SARAH: I think if we're accounting for all 400, it tips more equal.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair.
SARAH: You know? But because in those early days, you know, we fought for a hot second.
KAYLA: I don't think I was identifying as straight for like that many episodes though.
SARAH: It was like six.
KAYLA: It's just so crazy. We lost the plot after six episodes. Okay, we were like, a straight person explains things to an ace person. And then six episodes later, I'm like, nah.
SARAH: I want to say it was number seven where you were like, okay, well, actually.
KAYLA: Well, actually. Lost the plot immediately
SARAH: But you were still… you still felt straight adjacent because you hadn't been like, I'm bi yet.
KAYLA: Well, yeah, that didn’t just happen…
SARAH: You were still saying demi-straight, you know
KAYLA: Yeah, because the bi didn't happen until like post-college.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Crazy
SARAH: So, okay. So, we think it's me?
KAYLA: I think so.
SARAH: Yeah. Wrong! It was you.
KAYLA: Really!?
SARAH: I really want to know the context.
KAYLA: Wow! Yeah, like what number of episode… Is that like from episode 100?
SARAH: I'm guessing you're right though…
KAYLA: You know what?
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: It might be… because didn't for episode 100, we like listened back to episode one.
SARAH: Oh! I bet that's what it was.
KAYLA: And maybe I was like, ha ha ha. Who is that?
SARAH: Ha ha ha, absolutely. Yeah.
KAYLA: I wonder if that's it.
SARAH: Okay, next one…
KAYLA: Mm, I wonder who said that.
SARAH: “I'm going to be honest, I wasn't listening to that last part because I was thinking about something else, it was related.”
KAYLA: If this isn't you, I'm going to be so embarrassed for myself.
SARAH: Oh, yeah, I feel like it has to have been me. It was. It was me.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: ADHD baby. I saw a video today of this girl who was recording herself cooking. And so, she was like rolling out a lemon to get the juices to the surface. And then she turned around and she got a knife to cut the lemon and the lemon was gone.
KAYLA: Uh-oh. What was it?
SARAH: She spends like a minute in this video like just being visibly confused and like looking around and trying… and like on… because I know the context of like, I know that this video was posted for some reason, in my head I'm like, “you put it in the drawer. You put the lemon in the drawer where the knife came from.” And she did. But she never figured it out herself.
KAYLA: Noooo!
SARAH: Like, in the video, she like walks through her motion… She even opens the drawer to put the knife back when she gives up on finding it and doesn't see it.
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: And then she said that later her brother like texted in the family group chat being like, ‘why is there a lemon in the drawer?’
KAYLA: Why is there a lemon in the drawer? Mm
SARAH: And I texted it to my mom and I said, ‘me.’ And she said… she was like, ‘yeah.’ And then she was like, ‘did I send this to you?’ And I was like, ‘I don't recall it, so, if you did, I didn't watch it or forgot about it. Either that or you're making fun of me for the fact that I can't remember anything. I'm not sure which one it is, but both are accurate.’ And she was like, ‘no, I really wasn't sure if I did.’
KAYLA: Good, a really productive conversation, just kind of all around.
SARAH: Yeah. My mom sends me so many videos these days, I can't keep up. This is what happens in retirement. Okay, number eight. “Sexy toilet bowl brush.”
KAYLA: Okay, I do think I know the context for this because I remember…
SARAH: I also think, but you tell me to see if it’s the same
KAYLA: I remember doing an episode about sexy Halloween costumes.
SARAH: Mm, that’s makes more sense than my guess
KAYLA: Oh, what were you thinking?
SARAH: For some reason, this made me think, I don't know why we would call it sexy though; the time when BTS Jin bought BTS Hobi a $2,000 toilet brush for his birthday as like a gift
KAYLA: Why would we be talking about that?
SARAH: I don't know. But we… I know we've mentioned it on the podcast, like, it came up, I don't remember why.
KAYLA: Okay, I blocked that out of my memory because I don't remember any of that.
SARAH: It's also possible I made that memory up, you know I have a horrible memory.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But for some reason, my brain was like, yeah, it has to… I bet it was.
KAYLA: I think we've done at least one episode on sexy Halloween costumes. But who would have said it? I don't know
SARAH: I have fucking no idea.
KAYLA: Because when we get on a roll on those episodes where we're just like listing things, it's like, who knows?
SARAH: We’re just saying shit. I'm going to cheat and I'm going to say based on the size…
KAYLA: Oh, cheater!
SARAH: I think it was me
KAYLA: I was going to say you anyway.
SARAH: It was you!
KAYLA: It was me!?
SARAH: It was you!
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: So, we've gotten two wrong and they were both you, falsely attributed to me.
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: Okay. Nine. “Oh, I need to water my orchid and also feed my lizard. I'll do it later.”
KAYLA: Okay. Well, I'm confused, you're the only one that hasn't ever had an orchid to water…
SARAH: But I've never…
KAYLA: So, why would you have a… were you like watching a lizard?
SARAH: I think maybe it may have been a hypothetical.
KAYLA: Oh, oh, oh, oh, I wonder if it's like things to do instead of… no, but you said, it says, “I'll do it later.”
SARAH: I don’t know
KAYLA: Do you think it was one of a classic, like you meant something else and just said lizard? Have you ever pet-sat a lizard?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: What were you doing with a lizard?
SARAH: I'm like, okay, what could the lizard be? And then I'm like, myself. Because my first ever…
KAYLA: Did you ever call a cat or a dog a lizard?
SARAH: No!
KAYLA: What are you doing with a lizard?
SARAH: Oh, I'm like, a lizard could be me for… I was about to say why, but I can't, it's a podcast secret. The word lizard was in my very first email address.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: And there's a reason for that, but I can't say it because it's a pod secret; you have to figure it out yourself.
KAYLA: Oh, your middle name. That's funny. It’s funny.
SARAH: Now you've given them a clue. I honestly… I have no fucking idea.
KAYLA: I mean, I think it's you, but I'm so confused about the lizard.
SARAH: My instinct is maybe that it's me just because of the orchid of it all, but I…
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: Yeah, it is you.
SARAH: Yeah, that was me. I have no fucking idea what I was talking about. Number 10. “So, you know, sexuality is not real.” I think Kayla said that, I think you said that.
KAYLA: That does sound like me, I feel like I'm saying that all the time. I'm saying things like this.
SARAH: Yeah. It was me!
KAYLA: Whoa!
SARAH: Here's a really funny thing, imagine if Dor Min after all this time of like being our mod and like hanging around was one of those people that couldn't tell our voices apart. And these were actually all wrong.
KAYLA: I mean, I assumed these were coming from transcripts, but…
SARAH: Yeah, yeah, same, but…
KAYLA: I guess… who is to say?
SARAH: It would be really silly if that was true, we were just kidding; fake news. I mean, yeah, it's something I believe, it just… the vibe, it sounded like something you would say, the way it was said.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: The next one. “I would be okay with being podcast or content famous.”
KAYLA: I know that was me.
SARAH: Yeah, I was going to say, I think it was you in the before times.
KAYLA: Ugh, such an era, such an era of rising and grinding.
SARAH: So misled.
KAYLA: So young and loud.
SARAH: Naive.
KAYLA: So young, loud, naïve. Hopeful even. Stupid maybe.
SARAH: Yeah, it was you.
KAYLA: Yeah, I know it was me
SARAH: It was you that said that.
KAYLA: Ah, different times.
SARAH: A different time. Okay, number 12. “Would you rather have a hand where your penis is or have tiny dicks for fingers?” You had to have said this because this is so upsetting to me that I would not have said it. Or I would have said it just because it came to me and I couldn't be the only one haunted by it.
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, I think it probably is me. Did we ever do like a… we must've done a ‘Would You Rather?’ episode at some point. We should do that again, that's fun.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Would I rather have a hand where my penis is…
SARAH: Oh, we're just doing it, okay.
KAYLA: I am, I mean, I'm confident...
SARAH: Well, I don't have a penis, so, this doesn't apply to me.
KAYLA: Okay. But I know we've already done this before because it's in here as from the first 100 episodes but…
SARAH: No, but I'm just saying I don't have to choose because I don't have a penis.
KAYLA: Okay, but would you rather… wait, what if this is something we asked like one of the few men that have been on the podcast? Well, this would have been too early for Dean to have been a straight correspondent.
SARAH: It would have.
KAYLA: He wasn’t born yet
SARAH: I would obviously rather have a hand where my penis is because then you have another hand. Whereas if you had dicks for fingers, you have to be looking at those all the time.
KAYLA: Do you think at the time we recorded this, we discussed if you have dicks for fingers, like what fingering is then? Because that's what I'm thinking about now. It is like fingering kind of takes on like a whole new meaning
SARAH: Dickering, mini-dickering.
KAYLA: Then you can get pregnant from fingering.
SARAH: Well, do they have all of the same like functions and connections?
KAYLA: Just pissing out your fingers. Pissing out your fingers is kind of nice.
SARAH: I don't agree.
KAYLA: More convenient, but also then do you have to cover your… or you're having to wear a glove all the time because your penis fingers are indecent.
SARAH: It was indeed Kayla who said that; I want to move on.
KAYLA: Ugh! I'm having fun.
SARAH: I'm not! Number 13. “I don't really know much about porn, but I'm assuming it's not like two hours-long.” Honestly, that could go either way.
KAYLA: That really could be either of us. I lean towards you, but like...
SARAH: I do too. But it's not for any specific reason, it's just kind of vibes.
KAYLA: It’s just… who knows? It was me!
SARAH: No, it was you.
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: Great. Okay, how many have we gotten wrong?
KAYLA: Lots.
SARAH: Three? Four. I don't know, I forgot. Okay, number 14. “Full cow of beef. Maybe even two cows, that's a lot of cows.” This one could go either way.
KAYLA: I feel like it's you.
SARAH: Oh, Addie, don't knock my water over. My instinct says me, but I do think it could go either way.
KAYLA: I feel like you often have full cow beefs.
SARAH: Mm. Including the tongue.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Hold on, Addie looks really cute, I got to take a picture.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: She's protecting my little ace flag on my desk. Addie? Addie? Okay. You look so angry.
KAYLA: I've just remembered that two of these are from the discord and not stated on the podcast.
SARAH: Yeah, that has been kind of at the back of my head.
KAYLA: We're going to have to go back through.
SARAH: We will. We will. Oh, I was just about to put my phone away. I need that.
KAYLA: Oh, I’ve received a picture. Oh!
SARAH: Doesn't she look so serious?
KAYLA: A little bit menacing, yeah.
SARAH: Yeah, with the ace flag right there.
KAYLA: Ooh, is she watching me?
SARAH: Okay. So, we think it was me who said full cow of beef?
KAYLA: I think so.
SARAH: Correct.
KAYLA: Wow, we're so smart.
SARAH: 15. “The best part of the chaos is trying to make it make sense post-mortem.” I think me because I think I am more likely to say post-mortem.
KAYLA: I agree. I also do think you're talking about like the edit of the podcast.
SARAH: No, because that's not best, I don't like doing that.
KAYLA: Yeah, no, that's fair. Maybe you're talking about like editing, writing or something. Like, what are you talking about?
SARAH: The best part of the chaos is… I don't know. I think it's just maybe us trying to connect something back to asexuality.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: But I feel like early on we were better at staying on topic.
KAYLA: Yeah. Well, that was before we had already covered every single topic.
SARAH: Everything on the planet.
KAYLA: All of it.
SARAH: Yeah. So, me, right? Is what we're deciding?
KAYLA: Yeah, I think so.
SARAH: It was me.
KAYLA: Wow!
SARAH: Number 16. “All right. Oh, God. Onomatopoeia. Phew. Okay.” That was me.
KAYLA: That's definitely you, just saying words.
SARAH: Correct.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Seventeen. “But when Britney Spears...” Jesus. “But when Britney Spears did it, it wasn't gay.” You said that.
KAYLA: What was I talking about?
SARAH: I don't know, but you said that.
KAYLA: Yeah, probably.
SARAH: No! It was me!
KAYLA: Oh, that's very surprising.
SARAH: What was I talking about?
KAYLA: What was Britney Spears doing that… but wasn't gay?
SARAH: The snake.
KAYLA: The snake?
SARAH: Number 18. “I think it'd be nice if he was like our resident cactus correspondent on the scene every couple of episodes.” I think this was you.
KAYLA: Well, but it was your cactus.
SARAH: I know, but I think you were the one who was like, you know, let's tell... Okay, many people. Todd has been gone for a while.
KAYLA: Ugh. Well, do we know that for sure?
SARAH: No, like he just hasn't been in our possession for a while.
KAYLA: But do you think he's dead? We haven't checked in on Todd in...
SARAH: Last I heard, Todd was thriving, which was a couple of years ago.
KAYLA: But that was a while ago.
SARAH: But he was thriving. Okay, so I had this cactus, like a little tiny cactus, and I had gotten him at Home Depot in like 2015.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And it had a flower on it that was like just hot-glued on. Like it wasn't real, it wasn't like a flowering cactus. But as a result, the top of the cactus got all glued together. And so, it grew funny, and I named it Todd.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then when it grew, it looked kind of like a penis.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And then in college, when we lived in a house, for a long time, Todd... Well, because my bedside table was just a crate, because I was in college.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And Todd got knocked off the table or the windowsill or whatever and then Todd was just kind of loose on the ground.
KAYLA: He just lived out for a long time.
SARAH: Yeah, and didn't die.
KAYLA: Kept growing even.
SARAH: I killed all my other succulents.
KAYLA: Ugh, including Covered in Dirt.
SARAH: Covered in Dirt.
KAYLA: And that was my favorite one.
SARAH: Because Covered in Dirt was covered in dirt.
KAYLA: Covered in dirt
SARAH: I also killed... Okay, you know, when you sent me the orchids to be like, ‘will you marry me?’ to Dean?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: There was some succulents on it; I killed those too.
KAYLA: Love that.
SARAH: Orchids, still alive.
KAYLA: You're very good at keeping an orchid alive, you and your orchids.
SARAH: It's because I know that I can't be watering them that often and so then every once in a while, I'm like, oh, wait, I should water it.
KAYLA: It's the perfect plant for you.
SARAH: I just watered my orchid, the little one in here, just now, because I was like, oh, it's looking a little sad. Whereas a succulent, I either try to water it too much or I'm like, it doesn't need anything and then it dies, I don’t know
KAYLA: Not Todd though.
SARAH: Not Todd, Todd wouldn’t fucking die
KAYLA: You didn't take care of Todd for a long time and he just would not die.
SARAH: So, the summer that I was interning, I subletted my room in our house to someone we know from college. And so, he got custody of Todd for that summer.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then when we moved out of that house, he moved into that house and he actually ended up moving into the room that he had sublet from me.
KAYLA: Yeah. The best room; the best room in the house.
SARAH: The best room; it was the best room. I got so lucky with that, I don't know how I'm going to put it.
KAYLA: I had… ugh, me and Evan had the saddest, saddest little rooms and Sarah was living in a mansion.
SARAH: And I just… Todd… he upset me, his shape was too phallic.
KAYLA: It was a lot. It was a lot.
SARAH: And I didn't want to keep Todd. He wouldn't… like, it got to a point where I was just like trying… I was just like…
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: He lived on the floor for months.
SARAH: On his side, on the floor for months and he wouldn't die.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And I was like, this is too much for me, it's too much responsibility, I can't be responsible for this phallic cactus. And so, when… I think we've used his name.
KAYLA: Definitely
SARAH: When Zeke moved into the room and I moved out and I came out to LA, Zeke inherited… Zeke took Todd, Zeke inherited Todd.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then Zeke moved to… after graduation, Zeke moved to, I think, Wisconsin…
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: And took Todd with him.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And Todd was thriving. Todd was growing. Todd became like a rainbow shape, I think.
KAYLA: Yeah, Todd was like growing sideways, really.
SARAH: Yeah. It has been a couple of years since we've gotten a Todd update, but I believe in my heart that Todd is still alive and thriving.
KAYLA: I do too. I do too. I think… this probably was me, this quote. But I also think the context of it is I feel like at one point Zeke like called in…
SARAH: He did, he called in.
KAYLA: Like giving a Todd update.
SARAH: Because he used to listen to the podcast.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And so, he called in with a Todd update.
KAYLA: Do you think if we texted Zeke right now and was like, how's Todd? He would even remember what we're talking about.
SARAH: I think he would. I think he would be deeply confused at first to see a text from either of us.
KAYLA: Yeah, probably.
SARAH: And then he would be like, oh my God, yes, let me tell you all about Todd.
KAYLA: My God, I kind of want to ask.
SARAH: Do it.
KAYLA: Do I have his number?
SARAH: Yeah, you do. You can't not.
KAYLA: I don't delete anyone's number ever, so I'm sure I do.
SARAH: You were head of support staff, you have his phone number.
KAYLA: There it is. Okay, I have not texted him since 2019. He was asking me about bringing someone to my birthday party.
SARAH: Incredible.
KAYLA: Okay. Let's see if the three of us have texted. Okay, we texted in 2020.
SARAH: Huh! A Todd topic?
KAYLA: About Todd. So, in 2020, in July 2020, we were like, we're doing a live stream right now. Can we get a Todd update? And he was like, he's living in my room in Madison. Greener than when I got him, is how he was doing. And then Zeke goes, you guys have been at this for a while. Dang. Oh, the live streams specifically as well as the pod. And that was six years ago. I didn't text him. So, da, da, da, how is Todd?
SARAH: Do it. In the group chat?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Great
KAYLA: I'm not going to do this alone; you have to be in there too.
SARAH: No, that's fair.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Okay, let me check who said that. It was indeed you. Oh, I just got a text from Kayla.
KAYLA: Good times.
SARAH: I hope he answers promptly before we're done recording.
KAYLA: Me too, me too.
SARAH: Okay, that was indeed Kayla. Number 19. “The only person that we, as a society, can acceptably call daddy is Jeff Goldblum.”
KAYLA: I think this was me too.
SARAH: Goldblum. I think it was you too.
KAYLA: I remember this discussion.
SARAH: Well, because he was number one on the list of acceptable daddies in our house.
KAYLA: Yeah, we did have the list of acceptable daddies.
SARAH: On a piece of just...
KAYLA: Just kind of a piece of loose paper.
SARAH: Piece of loose construction paper duct taped to our wall. And that's college, baby.
KAYLA: Dean just texted me from upstairs; do my ears to see me or did you just text Zeke? We have to ask how Todd is doing, Dean. No answer.
SARAH: I mean, if anything, Dean should have a close emotional connection to Zeke because they were in the same graduating class.
KAYLA: Well...
SARAH: Okay, so we think it was you who's acceptable daddy, Jeff Goldblum? Yeah, it was you.
KAYLA: It’s true
SARAH: Number 20…
KAYLA: Who else was on the acceptable daddy list? Do you remember?
SARAH: I don't remember. I think some of them may have been cartoons.
KAYLA: Huh
SARAH: My mind is telling me Hugh Jackman, but I don't know that that's true.
KAYLA: My mind went to Pedro Pascal, but he wouldn't have been a thing at the time.
SARAH: Yeah, at that point. I think he is an acceptable daddy.
KAYLA: I do think he is. We should revamp… Hold on, let me send another text. College group chat. ‘Anyone care to revive the acceptable daddies?’ Okay. Back to the podcast.
SARAH: Great. I like how you said college group chat, but it is actually the group chat with the girlfriend of our friend who we did not know in college.
KAYLA: Yeah, but… you know, she's married in now.
SARAH: She's married into the family. Also, does anyone remember who was on it except…
KAYLA: Other than Jeff Goldblum.
SARAH: Goldblum.
KAYLA: I bet… No, he wouldn't have been like daddy age at the time. I was going to say Chris Pine, but I don't think he was quite there yet.
SARAH: He may have been on the list. He may have.
KAYLA: I feel if he was, that was premature of us, but also, we were feeling young at the time.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Weren't we? Earlier this week, I was talking to some friends and I was like, oh yeah, when I was in my early 20s, blah, blah, blah. Ugh!
SARAH: Ugh!
KAYLA: Ugh!
SARAH: Ugh!
KAYLA: Ugh!
SARAH: For those who get married later in life…
KAYLA: For those who get… Oh, oh, my sister texted me about last week's podcast. Not about that part, made no comment on that part, but did tell me what her husband did for his bachelor party, which was a mixed-gender bachelor party and they went to a rodeo in Texas and then Six Flags.
SARAH: That's fun. I do think going to Medieval Times would be fun for a bachelor party.
KAYLA: I agree.
SARAH: As someone who has recently been to Medieval Times.
KAYLA: Recently been to Medieval Times. You know what I recently realized? I thought I had been to a Medieval Times. I have not, I have been to the Dollywood version of Medieval Times, which is like in the same arena type thing but they do like cowboy things.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: But it was Christmas time, so it was Christmas-themed, and my parents got brought out to do one of the competitions.
SARAH: Oh! Wow!
KAYLA: So, I've only been to Dollywood Medieval Times.
SARAH: Did they volunteer… Dollywood, did they volunteer themselves?
KAYLA: I don't think so.
SARAH: Because that's something that if my father was called up to do something like that, he would get up and leave.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's the type of thing where I'm sure my dad was super-psyched about it, and my mom was like, ugh, okay, fine. But it's like a core, I thought it was like so fun.
SARAH: Yeah. You know that they have Dolly Parton cake and cookie mixes?
KAYLA: Oh!
SARAH: My sister made a cake for her wife's birthday, and she wanted Funfetti, so she made Funfetti, so she added the sprinkles in, but then realized that the sprinkles she got were no dye-added, so then the Funfetti was not very fun.
KAYLA: Ah
SARAH: It just looked kind of moldy.
KAYLA: Yeah, I never thought about that, the dye aspect of the Funfetti.
SARAH: Yeah, it's kind of important.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But she said that she made a Dolly Parton cake, and she was like, they're really good. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And she was like, they have Dolly Parton cake mixes. And I looked it up, and they did, and then the next time I went to the grocery store, I went in the cake aisle, and it was like half of the cake aisle.
KAYLA: So, it's like a Betty Crocker but Dolly Parton.
SARAH: Yeah. Is it like immediately after she died, they said, we got to get these cakes out.
KAYLA: I've never heard of that before.
SARAH: Me neither, I had never seen it before either. But then I went to the grocery store…
KAYLA: Maybe it was like… she was like, only release this, in her will, she said, only release this…
SARAH: Posthumous cake-mix.
KAYLA: Posthumous cake-mix. Remember me.
SARAH: Apparently, it's good.
KAYLA: Okay, well, I love that.
SARAH: Okay, the last one. “Minnesota calls itself the land of 10,000 lakes, and it thinks it's cool, but its lakes are like two inches wide. They're basically ponds, we have better lakes.” I definitely said this.
KAYLA: It's absolutely you, 100% you.
SARAH: With absolute certainty, correct, that was me.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay, we have to go back and figure out which ones were Milkboards
KAYLA: I just realized what time it is
SARAH: Right now?
KAYLA: I've been sending these texts at midnight to people.
SARAH: See, for me, it's like, oh, it's nine, it’s fine
KAYLA: And see, for me, I'm like, oh, it's just podcast time, whatever.
SARAH: Also, I don't even know what time zone Zeke is at.
KAYLA: I don't know if he's still alive.
SARAH: I think he's still alive. I think we would have heard if he wasn't. I've seen him… sometimes I get… on the very rare occasion I go on Facebook, they still post in Oliver's Wood about like former MQ players.
KAYLA: Oh, okay, he has not posted on Instagram since 2024. His Instagram bio, Chief Cactus Caretaker for @SoundsFakePod.
SARAH: Oh my God! Wow, incredible. Just great stuff.
KAYLA: Just great stuff
SARAH: And that's the only thing in his bio.
KAYLA: Uh-huh
SARAH: Incredible. Okay, we need to go back and figure out which ones were Milkboards.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I think the Pornhub one may have been Milkboard.
KAYLA: Ah, in what context?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Okay, so we need to find one for each of us…
SARAH: I mean, maybe, but also, I could see it being a pod thing where we were like talking about like...
[00:40:00]
KAYLA: Yeah. You know what? The ‘Wow, 2017 Sarah stay woke’ could have been me in Discord…
SARAH: I was thinking that
KAYLA: Like, someone bringing up something old in the Discord and me saying that.
SARAH: Yeah, I was thinking that.
KAYLA: And the ‘imagine me being straight.’ Wait, I think that is. Oh, I feel like that could be mine.
SARAH: I feel like me may have been the best part of the chaos is trying to make it make sense post-mortem, that could have been a Milkboard.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah.
SARAH: I think that makes more sense in the Discord than on the pod.
KAYLA: Yeah, no, I think that makes sense.
SARAH: Okay, so our final...
KAYLA: Ugh, I don't know what to choose for me.
SARAH: What were you deciding between again?
KAYLA: Either the ‘stay woke’ or ‘imagine me being straight.’
SARAH: I think stay woke because I think that you would say imagine me being straight in every situation, including on the pod.
KAYLA: Every situation!? No, that's fair. And I think because 2017 would have been too close to the time of the first 100 episodes.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
SARAH: Otherwise, you would have just been like, last year, Kayla, stay woke
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: All right, no more bonus points. Kayla number six. It was the ‘imagine me being straight.’ I led you astray.
KAYLA: Ugh, you talked me out of it.
SARAH: And me number 15. Yeah, the chaos post-mortem, we were right about that one.
KAYLA: I can't believe you talked me out of my bonus points.
SARAH: I'm really sorry about that. Hold on, let me see what's going on on the Milkboard.
KAYLA: Yeah, let's take a perusal.
SARAH: Wait, let me water Treador.
KAYLA: Oh my God. Are people still in there?
SARAH: Oh my God. First of all, I caught a moth.
KAYLA: My God, Treador is big. My God, we're in the moon.
SARAH: I wasn't even allowed to water it. We've been growing Treador for two years, one month, six days, five hours, three minutes and 57 seconds.
KAYLA: That is crazy.
SARAH: How long is the watering period? It looks like...
KAYLA: 10 minutes.
SARAH: No, because it was watered at 3:19 a.m. It is now 9 p.m. and it needs 10 more minutes. Three, four, five, six, seven, eight... 13 hours.
KAYLA: See, I think that's backwards because I think if a tree is that large, it probably needs more water, not less.
SARAH: But then the game wouldn't work, right?
KAYLA: Uh, whatever.
SARAH: Um, sorry, let me... Where's the milkboard? Give it to me. I want it. Milkboard, please. I'm lost. I'm lost. Where's the milkboard? I straight up can't find it.
KAYLA: It's under or it's above the mod's chat.
SARAH: Oh, yeah. Okay. Wow, there are bangers in here.
KAYLA: There are some really good ones.
SARAH: ‘Any room is a panic room if you give me a second.
KAYLA: I was just looking at that one, that one is very good.
SARAH: That was from rail.works. Good work there.
KAYLA: ‘Are you gay, straight, or an only child’
SARAH: Mm. ‘Going to snort mashed potatoes for research, be back in a few.’ ‘Sue God.’ ‘Until proven otherwise, no member of the mod team is a part of BTS the Band.’
KAYLA: I mean, I've never seen them in the same place.
SARAH: It's true. Hi, this is Sarah from the future. Yeah, Addie? What? Nothing more to say? Okay. I just wanted to let you know that while I was editing this, I was like, oh my god, I should water Treador or see what's up over there. And I did have the opportunity to water him and it is a 57-minute cycle, I don't know where I got 13 hours from. That's all, thank you. ‘I am not a seal.’
KAYLA: ‘If you marry a woman, you're marrying her podcast too.’ Now what is… because that is in the podcast talk channel. Now I want to know…
SARAH: I like the one that says, ‘I am not a seal’ by user MossisNotaSeal.
KAYLA: Mm, strong.
SARAH: There it is. ‘Imagine me being straight.’ Kayla, September 7th, 2024, 9:50 AM, milkboarded.
KAYLA: Wow, my bad.
SARAH: ‘The glorious penguins have won the election with 96.2% of the vote.’
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Thank you, Weasel. ‘Join the mafia with intention.’ ‘My gender is linguistics.’ So true, Torp. ‘She lives in a country and so do I.’
KAYLA: And so do I. Oh my God. I miss her, ‘she lives in a country and so do I.’
SARAH: And she does.
KAYLA: And the thing is…
SARAH: And so do I.
KAYLA: And the thing is that she does. Should we get matching tattoos? ‘She lives in a country and so do I.’ Be honest.
SARAH: I'm not getting that tattooed on me.
KAYLA: Ugh!
SARAH: Also, I can't get tattoos right now, I have a four-tattoo backup, I got too many in the queue.
KAYLA: Okay, what else can we get? Okay, matching like chain necklaces. You know the chain necklaces that like have the words kind of like cursiveish.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Mine will say, she lives in a country…
SARAH: And so do I.
KAYLA: And so do I.
SARAH: Or we can get like the initials....
KAYLA: Friendship bracelets.
SARAH: Initials that are just S-L-I-A-C-A-S-D-I.
KAYLA: Yeah, S-L-I-A-C-A-S-D-I. Okay, perfect. Okay, so if you could all make those friendship bracelets for us and send those to us. Our mail… our P.O. boxes are…
SARAH: Mine ends in a 53. That's how I know how to find it.
KAYLA: I just know spiritually where mine is now. I walk in and I put my key in it. I don't know what the number is.
SARAH: Mine is like… it's like right there when you walk in the door.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Okay. Well, at first, I was concerned this wouldn't take a full length of an episode.
KAYLA: No, we had much reminiscing to do.
SARAH: And we had to spend time explaining Todd.
KAYLA: Todd.
SARAH: Let me see if I can find the Sounds Fake But Okay Out of Context Twitter. Sounds Fake Out Of Context… Contest… Context. Twitter search is literally made of garbage. It's like, oh, you want to search for purple elephants? Here's a post about Nazis.
KAYLA: Oh! Good.
SARAH: Okay, hold on. Let me switch to my... I'm not even logged in on my main account. Hold on. Hold on, I got to go to my phone. ‘Never miss a moment,’ I'm not turning my notifications on and you can't make me. ‘Don't allow notifications.’ It says, ‘all notifications, tap to fix.’ No, I don't want to fix that. Sounds Out of Context But Okay. This one was definitely for me. ‘Picture this, you're Sarah, you're driving a car.’
KAYLA: No, I think that's definitely me, that's me.
SARAH: What time of day is dawn do you think?
KAYLA: Oh my God, don't bring up...
SARAH: Oh my God… Oh my God…
KAYLA: Oh my God… Oh my God…
SARAH: We just got a text from Zeke.
KAYLA: Eww! Why does he look like that? He sprouted.
SARAH: What the fuck is wrong with me?
KAYLA: How did that happen? He sprouted like four new...
SARAH: He has like four nodes, but like his base is brown, but then the other parts of him look healthy.
KAYLA: I can’t believe he still exists. Oh…
SARAH: This is so disturbing.
KAYLA: Eww, why does he look like that?
SARAH: This is so disturbing, but I thank you for your update and your efforts.
KAYLA: I can't believe he still has it.
SARAH: We'll post this picture somewhere.
KAYLA: Also… but he greets all my guests. Is this at the front of his home?
SARAH: I don't know. It looks like there's a bucket of keys underneath it, so it might be the front of his home.
KAYLA: Which Zeke has been known to collect keys, so this is not surprising to me.
SARAH: No, that is true, there's another key just sitting right there on the side of it. Wow.
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: This is truly remarkable.
KAYLA: There's also like other dead plants in Todd's pot. If you assume it, there's just like some dead flowers in there
SARAH: Yeah, things with leaves
KAYLA: Eww
SARAH: This is great. I mean, horrifying.
KAYLA: It's crazy how healthy some parts of it look and how disgusting other parts are.
SARAH: And like the parts that look healthy are coming out of the parts that look so ill.
KAYLA: Of the bad parts. Fascinating.
SARAH: Like, I'm baffled and confused.
KAYLA: I don't really know how it all happened, it kind of played out over the course of the last eight years. Eight years!
SARAH: Oh my God. Out of context quote; “here's my argument to why I'm not stupid.”
KAYLA: Mm. I can't believe he still has Todd.
SARAH: Remarkable. Out of context quote; ‘is an elevator considered genitalia?’
KAYLA: Huh!
SARAH: I fear I said that, but I don't know why.
KAYLA: I couldn't say either.
SARAH: ‘I too like to sit.’ That was you.
KAYLA: I do like to sit, that's true.
SARAH: ‘I got myself in a bit of a pickle with the burden recently.’
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: It's a convent for pizza.
KAYLA: Oh, that was me, because it's about my D&D character who is from a church of pizza.
SARAH: Wow! All right, I have to stop now.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Kayla told Zeke, “your dedication is unmatched, you deserve a Nobel Prize.” And Zeke said, “Todd is doing the hard part.”
[00:50:00]
KAYLA: I don't know what Todd is doing. I just like…
SARAH: How often do you water him? Do you water him?
KAYLA: I don't think it needs water. Like, I think there is something radioactive about this plant or something. Like, I have killed so many cactuses and this one is just fine.
SARAH: I've killed many succulents, I've kept alive many orchids, I couldn't kill this cactus if I tried.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: And I did try.
KAYLA: I can't believe it sprouted more.
SARAH: More Toddlings.
KAYLA: Ugh
SARAH: Wow. All right. Well, I'm assuming he'll answer before we finish with the other things. So, Kayla, what's our poll for this week? What's your favorite Out of Context Sounds Fake But Okay?
KAYLA: Oh yeah, what is your favorite Sounds Fake moment from the last 400 years?
SARAH: Mm-hmm. And who said it?
KAYLA: And why was it that I'm your favorite.
SARAH: Well, I was going to say why are they all for me, but I was going to be nice, but no.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Okay, fine. This is a contest now.
KAYLA: This is a contest. Who's your favorite? And… don't do that.
SARAH: Yeah, I was about to say… I said, don't… actually, don't do that because we will feel bad
KAYLA: Don’t do that. Don’t do that. Don't do that unless it's perfectly even.
SARAH: Unless it is perfectly even
KAYLA: Unless you can all collaborate to make sure you vote perfectly evenly.
SARAH: He he. That's the thing that sometimes I think about in like K-pop groups and like… situations like that where it's like there's always going to be the one member that is liked a little bit more.
KAYLA: Well, that's what happens with like every boy band, because you had like the Justin Timberlake, the Harry Styles, like…
SARAH: Zeke waters Todd once a week?!
KAYLA: That's too much.
SARAH: He said that's probably too much, maybe that's why he's brown.
KAYLA: That's probably why he's brown. You went months without watering him; he doesn't need all that.
SARAH: Yeah, he didn't need all that.
KAYLA: He grows more in the summer and goes sort of dormant in the winter. I can't believe Todd has weather patterns; this is fascinating.
SARAH: It's crazy. He said, “something to do with the sun, I bet.” I don't even know where he lives. How strong is this… Is he still in Wisconsin? I don't know.
KAYLA: I don't know. I just couldn't say.
SARAH: Incredible. Anyway. Okay, so yes, tell us your favorite SFBO… okay, here's a fun fact, there are some BTS lyrics slash Agust D lyrics that I have been considering getting tattooed, but not the full lyrics, just like the initials of the lyrics.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Like, my favorite Agust D song, so like my bias, my boy Yoongi, is called D-Day. And in D-Day, there's a line that says, ‘future's gonna be okay.’ And that was my phone background for a really long time.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And I was like, that song in particular could revive me from the dead.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Like, maybe I should get that on me. But then I thought it would be F-G-B-O and I was like, that's giving S-F-B-O.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And I was like, that feels a little weird.
KAYLA: Yeah. If you got it lowercase, maybe it'd feel less…
SARAH: Also, one of the other quotes that I have been considering from the jump is also from an Agust D song, but it's in Korean, so it would be like the initialisms of the Korean letters.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And it basically means the same thing, so it would be redundant.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Anyway. I also don't know where I want to put this, because I have an idea of where I want to put it, but it would be such that I can read it. But then would it be weird for it to be upside down for everyone else? You know?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, should I put it sideways so that… if that's not a concern? You know?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Also… have I told you that I'm expanding onto my other arm?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: It's important. It's big.
KAYLA: Very brave.
SARAH: Big moves.
KAYLA: Very brave.
SARAH: Okay. Sorry. What? Our poll was that… Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My beef is that I have not been going to the gym, and I would like to be, but I live farther from it now, and so it takes more coordination, and I just haven't quite gotten myself. And is it difficult? No, not really. But like, you know, when it's already hard to do something, and then you have to like, coordinate, and it's… you know?
SARAH: Mm-hmm. I recently started going back to the gym after like three weeks of not being consistent about it, and I am sore.
KAYLA: Yeah. But I've got to.
SARAH: You can do it.
KAYLA: Thank you. My juice is that it's getting chilly here.
SARAH: Ugh, fuck you
KAYLA: It's like in the 60s, I think I'm going to take my air conditioners out soon.
SARAH: Fuck you!
KAYLA: It's so nice. We're getting a Nor'easter this weekend though, so.
SARAH: Oh! We are… let's look at this here. The weather for today, 91. Tomorrow, 90.
KAYLA: Ugh!
SARAH: Friday, 88. Saturday, 89. Sunday, a low 83. Monday, 84. Tuesday, back up to 90. Wednesday, 93. Thursday, 91. It's going to be like this well into October. Fucking shit.
KAYLA: Do you want to hear the highs here for the next couple of days?
SARAH: Oh, I'm scared. What?
KAYLA: 64, 64, 61, 62, 61, 63, 73, 73.
SARAH: Oh, that's so nice. It’s 73 right now and it’s dark.
KAYLA: But also, it's going to rain for the next five days straight, so.
SARAH: Yeah, it's not going to rain here for, um…
KAYLA: Five years
SARAH: Months. It might… well, sometimes it rains in the winter, but… Anyway. Great, was that both beef and juice?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Okay, my beef, what did I… what… I started telling you something before the podcast.
KAYLA: You pre-ordered.
SARAH: Yeah, okay, okay. I told Kayla I would save it for the podcast and then I forgot what it was. Okay, so I pre-ordered John Green's new book ‘Hollywood, Ending.’ Hollywood, comma, Ending; the comma is important.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: On bookshop.org and then used our link, bookshop.org/… sfbo? Sounds fake? Just start trying stuff.
KAYLA: I don’t know
SARAH: Just start trying stuff and you'll eventually get there. And I pre-ordered it on Bookshop. Don't worry, I have it saved to my thing. The link is bookshop.org/shop/soundsfakepod. Okay, I ordered it there and then yesterday, which was the day it came out, I got an email that was like, Hey, we're really sorry, but our supplier sucks.
KAYLA: Oh!
SARAH: And it was supposed to be like first-in-first-out, like as to like who got what. And then they were not… their supplier was not adhering to that. And so, they did not get enough… because I got… I pre-ordered the signed copy because John Green is an insane person and he signs tens and tens of thousands of copies of all of his books. So, he signed 85,000 copies of this book.
KAYLA: Oh!
SARAH: And he's trying to… he's talking to the World Record people…
KAYLA: That’s funny
SARAH: Because there's no way anyone has signed more books than him and can prove it. Like, no way.
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: And they were like, hey, so basically our supplier, like, we're only getting like probably less than 2000 books that we can send to people. And they were like, we got 2000 orders on the first day and I ordered it on the second.
KAYLA: Oh, nooo…
SARAH: And so, they were like, if you ordered on April 1st or later, like barring a miracle, you're not getting it. And I was like, who is the April fool now? Me. And so I was like, oh shit, like I need to order it somewhere else now. Like, ideally, I want a signed copy. I have other signed John Green books; it's not that important, but it’s like, you know, it's just…do your thing, you know, so, anyway. And so, my cousin had made me aware… also, I listen to the podcast so I have been vaguely aware, that he was doing an event in LA on October 13th. And so, my cousin was like, oh my God, for birthday, a John Green thing. And I was like, oh yeah. But then I was like, I'm not going to go because I already pre-ordered a book, like, it's not that crazy important to me. And then I heard on the Dear Hank and John podcast that it hadn't sold out yet, some of the dates have, but the LA one haven't.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And so then last night I was like, well, you get a signed book if you go to the live event. So, like, what if I just did that? And so, I texted my friend who I know likes John Green and I said, so…
KAYLA: Do you want to go?
SARAH: What if? And they texted me back. And I also texted my other friend, I was like, okay, so if this person can't go with me, do you want to go with me?
[01:00:00]
SARAH: Because I was suddenly like, I have to buy this now. Like, what if it sells out tomorrow? Which doesn't make sense. The tickets have been on sale for weeks and there are… I could see how many were left, it was plenty. But the brain is not realistic or logical. And I was like, I have to get… buy these tickets, now.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, I did get tickets for me and my friend to go and then the next morning, my other friend was like, I'm going to be honest, I've never read a John Green book. And I was like, great…
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: So, you're not going. And I was like, that's crazy though, because you read a lot of books. Anyway. So, yeah, my beef is that there was the bamboozle mint, my juice is that I guess now I'm going to the…
KAYLA: That's fun.
SARAH: Yeah. This is Sarah from the future, again. I got an email the other day from Bookshop being like, hey, a miracle occurred, we can now get you all your books. So now I'm going to have two. Who should I give the other one to? I don't need two. But I will be keeping the one with the better signature. Thank you. Each stop has like a different host and the one in San Diego on the 11th the co-host is Hank.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And so, it's like, that would be fun. Is it worth driving to San Diego for… I don't know about that. Also, then I clicked on it and it was like, we just sold out. And I was like, great.
KAYLA: I have pre-ordered a book or two from Bookshop.org before and it never comes on the actual release day.
SARAH: If you order a book online, it rarely does.
KAYLA: Right. And that was like the reason I did it, because I was like, I want it. And so now if I actually want it, I just pre-order like to pick up from a store, because...
SARAH: Yeah. I… I forgot. I’m… I’m…
KAYLA: Hello?
SARAH: I'm one and a half John Green books behind anyway. I pre-ordered the Anthropocene Reviewed, which came out in 2021. I still haven't finished it.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: It's good but I still haven't finished it. Well, because it's a series of essays. So, like it's not… they're not connected to each other.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And then also he came out with last year, Everything Is Tuberculosis; I really struggle saying that word, Tuber… culo… tubo…
KAYLA: Tuberculosis.
SARAH: Yep. Yep, that one. It's like the nuclear, nuculear thing.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: I have that problem with tuber… culo… tuberculo… tuberculosis.
KAYLA: Tuberculosis, now you're making say it, tuberculosis.
SARAH: I haven't read that either. So, I was like, it's not like I'm reading this book before October 13th.
KAYLA: That’s fair
SARAH: So, it doesn't matter. But it's exciting because it's his first like new adult rather than young adult book.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I've heard good things. Anyway, that's my beef and my juice. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your thoughts on 400 episodes of Sound Fake But Okay, but only if they're positive or neutral. If they're negative, tell your diary.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Or if you have mean things to say, think them really hard and maybe they'll get to us through the waves.
KAYLA: Probably.
SARAH: We might be thinking them about ourselves, anyway.
KAYLA: I was going to say that, is that how all those thoughts get in my brain?
SARAH: Whoa!
KAYLA: That is crazy.
SARAH: You can tell us about your beef… Oh, social media, I said that all already. We also have a Patreon if for some reason after 400 episodes, you still want to support us for some reason, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Thank you to all of our patrons.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: The ones who we don't read out every week, because the $2 patrons, we only say it once.
KAYLA: Right, but they’re there
SARAH: But some of them have been around for a really long time
KAYLA: For a really long time, yeah
SARAH: And they have given us far more than $2. There are also probably people on this list who have revoked their patronage and we haven't noticed.
KAYLA: Yeah, we should do… we should… yeah…
SARAH: Very possible. But thank you to all of you, you all rock and are great. Our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Alexander, Alma, Alucard Zavertnik, Amanda Kyker and Ashley W. All of the A's, all of the A's today. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Benjamin Ybarra who would like to promote Tabletop Games. Benjamin Ybara has been here… Is Benjamin Ybara still here? I don't know.
KAYLA: I don't know. It doesn’t matter though…
SARAH: But Benjamin Abara has been here for a really long time.
KAYLA: For a very long time
SARAH: Clare Olsen who would like to promote Impact_Frame. Danielle Hutchinson who would like to promote Rainbow Pride Knits. And Derick & Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face. Derick & Carissa have also been here for a long time.
KAYLA: Also, yeah
SARAH: How old is Karissa now?
KAYLA: Out of college? Not out of college. Out of high school maybe.
SARAH: Definitely out of high school. Like, a legal adult.
KAYLA: Ugh! ‘Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes…’
SARAH: For those wondering what the fuck we're talking about, Derek and Karissa are a father and daughter duo who would listen to the podcast together. And last we heard Karissa was a teenager.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But may not be true anymore.
KAYLA: Now, I'm scared.
SARAH: And we support them through the transitions…
KAYLA: Indeed
SARAH: Into adulthood and into possible empty nestery for Derek. Those are the ones. Our other $10 patrons are Elle Bitter, Eric, my aunt Jeannie, Johanna, Kayla's Dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Purple Hayes, Quartertone, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Sydney Price, Val, Alastor, Ani, and Arcnes. A lot of these people have been around for a long time, but shout out to fucking Elle Bitter, Martin Chiesl…
KAYLA: Ugh, who'd you… the only patron who's ever gotten on a plane.
SARAH: Yeah. Barefoot Backpacker, who has been barefootly backpacking around for a very long time.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Now I feel like… I feel bad if I've not named anyone, but you all are important to us.
KAYLA: It's true.
SARAH: Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer. Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com.
KAYLA: Now, that's an OG.
SARAH: That's an OG.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I've been struggling to say that for years.
KAYLA: Literal years.
SARAH: Kayla’s aunt Nina, who would like to promote katemaggartart.com. And Schnell, who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Changeling & Alex, who would like to promote their company Control Alt Access. Changeling hasn't been a patron the whole time, but Changeling has been around for a very, very long time.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: And Dr. Jacki, Dragonfly, my mom, and River, who would like to promote the fact that technically my mom has been around longer than any of you, given that she is my mom.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But some of you have been listening to the podcast for longer, I think.
KAYLA: Maybe.
SARAH: Maybe. She's not consistent. She does listen, but she's not consistent about it.
KAYLA: Wow! Fake fan.
SARAH: You know… Okay, thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
SARAH: They're getting old, please take care of them.
KAYLA: Oh, so old.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]