Ep 396: Reddit Rabbithole pt. 26
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl (that's me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode: Reddit Rabbithole. That's what we're calling it, right? That's what we're calling it now.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pooooooooood!
KAYLA: My computer sounds like it's going to take off into space.
SARAH: Oh, cool.
KAYLA: I’ll move it away from my mic.
SARAH: How is everyone?
KAYLA: It's an extra-long pause for everyone while I move my computer.
SARAH: I'm going to cut some of that out.
KAYLA: No, you can't.
SARAH: I usually cut it out when there's a pause just to make the pause shorter. Well, maybe I will leave that long pause in.
KAYLA: That is even less considerate. Last week, you didn't even want to wait to listen to...
SARAH: That’s why I asked…
KAYLA: Now, I'm finding out that you are artificially… You're editing the pause even more! Everyone, everyone, are you hearing this? That is… you’re so inconsiderate, you don’t care what the people are saying, at all
SARAH: I don't want them to sit with seven seconds of silence.
KAYLA: Maybe they need some time to reflect. Have you ever thought about that?
SARAH: It’s a podcast
KAYLA: I just think that is so rude. Clearly, you do not care about… to hear what the people are saying to you, you're not giving them time to reflect, that is so rude.
SARAH: Anyway, do we have any housekeeping?
KAYLA: Mm… oh, it was our birthday.
SARAH: Guys, guys, guys, guys…
KAYLA: Guys, you guys, you guys, you guys
SARAH: It was our birthday weeks ago. And I realized because I got an email from LinkedIn that said, hey, you should congratulate Kayla on nine years at Sounds Fake But Okay podcast.
KAYLA: You know what's funny? It is I also got that notification and I was… I must have seen it when I woke up. So, I was scrolling through all my junk email notifications and texts and whatever. And so, I saw that and didn't really register it because then I immediately saw your text because they were right next to each other. And I was like, oh, so we turned nine!?
SARAH: And I did message you on LinkedIn with just the stock message that it suggested.
KAYLA: The stock congratulations?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Wow, thank you. Maybe that's what I saw then, instead of your… maybe that's actually the notification I saw.
SARAH: Maybe.
KAYLA: I don't know. Well, congratulations to us
SARAH: We're nine!
KAYLA: Okay, you guys, someone…
SARAH: Set a reminder
KAYLA: Can't we… I don't want to.
SARAH: I don't either.
KAYLA: You guys, someone has to remind us ahead of time next year.
SARAH: When we start talking about summer break next year, y'all need to get on us
KAYLA: We have to remember. Okay, everyone put it in their calendars.
SARAH: Except us.
KAYLA: Except us, we're not. We do… okay, I'm sorry, we do enough of the work for this podcast, you guys could do something.
SARAH: Oh my God!
KAYLA: Okay, we talk about summer break next year, I need everyone to say, “oh my God, hugs! Don't forget your birthday.”
SARAH: Hags. HAGB. (Have a great birthday.)
KAYLA: Have a great birthday! Okay, and then you'll have to explain what HAGB means because we will not remember any of this conversation.
SARAH: I'll be like, why are you calling me a hag bitch?
KAYLA: And then we'll have a whole conversation about like, oh my God, we never remember anything that we say.
SARAH: Oh my God, we're 10 this year!
KAYLA: And then we'll be like, aww! And then… okay, so, everyone, put that exact conversation into your calendar, because that's what's going to happen.
SARAH: Everyone, brace yourselves.
KAYLA: And not... But I do... I don't even know our birthday to tell you when to put it in your calendar.
SARAH: It's July 31st.
KAYLA: Is it?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Kyla is here, I'm just going to leave this running.
KAYLA: Okay, bye. Kyla's here, she's dropping something off to Sarah at her apartment. I don't know what she's dropping off. I'll tell you what, everyone, I just… right as we started recording, I turned off my air conditioning so you couldn't hear it super loud in the background because I'm a professional, I'm already so warm. Do you see the sacrifices that we make for this podcast? It's the least you could do to put a reminder in your calendar. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know. A potato flew around my room…
SARAH: Okay, I have returned with the artist formerly known as my roommate. I'm going to put...
KAYLA: Hi! Hi!
SARAH: She is here to get my keys because she's going to watch my cat. But Kyla, tell them what you just watched.
KYLA: I just watched the Callum Turner, Monica Barbaro film One Night Only about the straight people.
KAYLA: Oh my God!
KYLA: And, oh my God, what a trip! Honestly, it was one of the dumbest things I think I've ever seen in my life. But I laughed so hard. I was disturbed there weren't more people laughing because it was just crazy. And then all these like random fucking... Am I allowed to use that word?
SARAH: Yeah, go for it.
KYLA: Cameos.
SARAH: Really!?
KAYLA: Really!?
KYLA: Yes. All these famous people started popping up and I was looking over… I watched it with Amy.
KAYLA: How did they get them to do that?
KYLA: I don't know, that's what I was saying. And then they had like actual branded content throughout
KAYLA: No!
KYLA: Like Durex condoms, KY, the lubricant stuff, they had like… they were going in and out of like 7-elevens and like… there was like real things. So, I was like…
SARAH: Product placement
KYLA: Yeah, the product placement. I was like, who do they know? Who did they know!?
KAYLA: Do you think we need to do an episode on it? Do you think we need to watch it and do an episode on it?
KYLA: I think you should
KAYLA: Because it sounds so stupid.
KYLA: It was so stupid. It was so funny. Sarah, I'll go watch it with you again.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Oh my god, perfect.
KYLA: AMC A-Lister. No, I was dying, the shit was so funny. Like it was so silly, goofy, crazy in like the best/worst way.
KAYLA: Oh my gosh, I feel I have to watch it.
KYLA: And I'm also tired of the propaganda that men can go all night because that's just also false.
KAYLA: Tell them.
KYLA: I'm tired of that narrative. I'm tired of that narrative as a straight person. They can't go all night.
SARAH: You’re here to set the record straight.
KYLA: Yeah, to set the record straight. Yeah, that's also crazy. And there's also… I would like to hear your guys' take on it too, because the… I've talked to Sarah about this and our other friend who's also…
SARAH: Dalton King!
KYLA: Yes, Dalton King.
SARAH: Dalton King!
KYLA: Yes, the one and only Dalton King. We talked about this a little bit and… so, the movie kind of talks a little bit about how we got into this spot in this hypothetical universe where sex is banned… or premarital sex is banned except for this one night of the year.
KAYLA: Except for once.
KYLA: Yeah, except for once a year. So, they kind of like touch on it, but then they don't really go there. Like they like make jokes about it. And they're like, yeah, like repeal the thing. And they're like, yeah, our Congress people voted for this. Like, I don't know, they like…
KAYLA: It's such an odd time in history for such a movie to be made.
SARAH: Congress does not want to fuck.
KAYLA: I just feel as though…
SARAH: She's frozen.
KAYLA: Hello.
KYLA: Hi, you're back.
KAYLA: Hello, I'm back. I was just saying it feels like an odd time in history to be making a movie saying such things.
KYLA: Yeah. My friend and I that I saw it with, we had read 1984 together as part of our book club. And so, we kept looking at each other like, wow, big brother, Gay Orwell.
SARAH: Gay Orwell.
KYLA: Like, it was crazy. Yeah, I don't want to go into too much detail, I guess, if you guys might watch it for the pod and review it. But… yeah.
KAYLA: That's crazy.
KYLA: No, it was… yeah, it was interesting. And at the end when the lights came up, I was like, I want to know how they came up with this idea. Like, were they just like… like, were the writers…
KAYLA: Cocaine, right?
KYLA: Yeah, I was like, were they like cracked out? And they were like, you know what would be crazy under this Trump administration? Isf they decided to just ban premarital sex, what would happen?
SARAH: The purge, but for sex, but a rom-com.
KYLA: Yeah. But a rom-com.
KAYLA: No, that's literally insane.
KYLA: Yeah, I mean, it's like technically a rom-com, but yeah, it was just like really silly. I just… it was not what I was expecting. I mean, I went into it thinking and hoping it would be really bad. So maybe that was part of it. And like maybe like everyone else that was in the theater… because they were also all fellow young folk that were watching this movie.
KAYLA: Young folk!?
KYLA: But yeah, I was like disturbed, like laughing at stuff. And I was like, why is no one else laughing? It's just me and my friend like giggling at some of these jokes. And like, yeah, I guess like if I was like really like Gen Z, I might find it cringey. But like, I don't know.
SARAH: They find everything cringey.
KYLA: I know. And I think…
SARAH: With respect to our Gen Z listeners.
KYLA: Well, I imagine your listeners are cool and they live freely.
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA: They live freely!
KYLA: It doesn't scare them. They're not afraid to be cringe and live their life to the truth.
SARAH: I am cringe and yet I am free.
KAYLA: So true.
KYLA: But yeah, I did go see that
SARAH: Delightful!
KAYLA: Wow!
SARAH: Thank you for this on-the-ground report.
KAYLA: I know, this is huge.
KYLA: News from the ground, yes, I just got out of the movie like half an hour ago
KAYLA: Journalism
KYLA: So, it's fresh.
SARAH: It’s fresh
KYLA: It's fresh and it hasn't been tainted by reading Letterboxd reviews.
KAYLA: Wow, huge!
KYLA: Yes. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me on. I hope this doesn't get cut in the editing process. And if it does, that's okay.
KAYLA: No, don't worry. She's cutting my…
SARAH: Because I haven't heard any of what Kayla has said.
KAYLA: Oh…
[00:10:00]
SARAH: So, I'll get to hear it when I'm editing…
KAYLA: Oh, that's true.
SARAH: Now that we're both talking at the same time.
KYLA: Oh
KAYLA: Well, well, well, well… It's me talking...
SARAH: What are you saying about me?
KYLA: It's a surprise for the future Sarah, that's for sure.
SARAH: Yay! All right, thank you for joining. And thank you for watching my cat.
KYLA: Yes, of course, thank you so much.
KAYLA: Okay, byeeeeee!
KYLA: Byeeee!
SARAH: What a thrill.
KAYLA: She’s dressed like Minnie Mouse.
SARAH: Yeah. She does that sometimes where she does like inspired by…
KAYLA: A Disneybound.
SARAH: Disneybounding sort of situation.
KAYLA: Love!
SARAH: Now that we've done that important reporting, I also do have my hands on the script of that movie.
KAYLA: Do you really? Wait, we should just do a Patreon-exclusive. We just read the script, we act out the script.
SARAH: Now, to be fair, I don't know how… the script was on the Blacklist in 2022, which is like a list of like the best unproduced script in Hollywood
KAYLA: It was on the best list!?
SARAH: Listen, but I don't know how much it's changed since then.
KAYLA: It has probably gotten worse.
SARAH: So, the version I have is the Blacklist version.
KAYLA: Okay. So, the good version, I see.
SARAH: Anyway, Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, it's Reddit time. I think we had two very successful, actually good conversations in a row, and we can't keep putting out this high-quality content, we must be bad again.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. I'm so mad, there was a… Let me see if I can find it, this tweet is deleted.
KAYLA: No!
SARAH: I wrote something down about it. So let me see if I can find the Reddit because this one was pretty spicy because I disagreed with the tweet that had 22,000 likes, so.
KAYLA: Drama!
SARAH: I can't find it.
KAYLA: Booooooo!
SARAH: It looks like this post was not deleted, but the account just went on private. So maybe someday we'll get it back.
KAYLA: One day we'll come back to it.
SARAH: All right. This one is on r/legaladvice. Are you ready?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion, but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one, but now she's not involved at all.
KAYLA: Okay...
SARAH: Consequences of actions.
KAYLA: Well….
SARAH: Okay. We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. I mean, I assume that she probably met him very briefly
KAYLA: At least once, perhaps
SARAH: Even after the birth, she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have a hundred percent full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate, but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or educational decisions, she didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court-ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him, she will agree, but until then, she'll pay support. It has been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He's 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her. I'm burned out and hate being a single parent.
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: I love my son, but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can, but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him, but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody, but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't, and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth. And because we went to court when he was six months old, but because we already went after he was born and… oh… before… whatever.
KAYLA: Uh-huh
SARAH: And agreed on things and now she pays more support than his court-ordered, the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym.
KAYLA: Okay, what does that… okay…
SARAH: She told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here?
KAYLA: No!
SARAH: Oh, oh, oh, it's the consequences of your own actions.
KAYLA: I guess, I don't know… I don't know the law. But like she told you this was going to happen, like, this is exactly what she said was going to happen from the start.
SARAH: And honestly, she is going above and beyond by paying 125% of the child… Like she she's already going above and beyond by having the kid to begin with.
KAYLA: Yes, she did not have to do that
SARAH: Because she was pregnant for nine fucking months.
KAYLA: Yeah. At this point, she was just… she was a surrogate. Like yeah, she's an egg donor. She said she didn't want to do this. And also, like, I would not want my child in the custody of someone who is not interested in taking care of them.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like that is neglectful to your child's safety to put them in the hands of someone who like does not have the capacity or desire to deal with that.
SARAH: Yeah. There's… he only commented on this a couple of times, but he said, I want the courts to give her visitation or custody so that I can have a break and she can actually parent her child. I'm not on public assistance because with my job and her support, I don't qualify.
KAYLA: Okay, well…
SARAH: It has 190 down votes.
KAYLA: Like, I get needing a break, like being a single parent sounds like hell, but you knew that's what was going…
SARAH: You signed up for it
KAYLA: Like you did not have to do that, there was a way out.
SARAH: Can I read you another comment from OP?
KAYLA: I can't wait.
SARAH: She is a deadbeat…
KAYLA: Noooo!
SARAH: She doesn't have anything to do with him and has left me to do everything as a single parent. I want to know if I have any legal options to make her help parent the child she helped create, 583 down votes.
KAYLA: Yes, she did… Like, she… I don't think that she's a deadbeat because she's also paying extra child support, like…
SARAH: I never thought that she could turn her back on her own child. I honestly thought she would bond during the pregnancy and I would eventually change her mind.
KAYLA: Ah!
SARAH: Even if she turned down my offer to be in a relationship, I never thought she would actually abandon him without thought and without seeing him or even trying to know his name or sex. She was so drugged up during the birth, good, that I don't even think she knows if he was born before or after midnight. I didn't expect it to go like this to be honest, 310 down votes.
KAYLA: Okay, so she set extremely clear boundaries and told him what would happen and he chose not to believe her?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And now that's her problem?
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: Yeah, man, I don't know.
SARAH: This post is apparently from 10 years ago. So, this kid is like almost 13 now.
KAYLA: I would love to know where we stand now, I'm so curious.
SARAH: It's on a throwaway account though so I doubt.
KAYLA: Because like I am curious about this woman too of like, is she someone who was like I am never having kids? Like, absolutely is not interested in kids. Or was it like, that time in her life she wasn't interested. So, like, I would be interested to know if later in life she did change her mind at all for any reason.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But that being said, that does not change what is going on here
SARAH: Yeah. This person says, he's a gold digger who just wanted her child support money. But that's not even true.
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Because he's getting her child support money. He's getting he more than her child support money.
KAYLA: Yeah. I guess I would be interested to know his thoughts on if… I assume if they changed it to split-custody she wouldn't owe child support, right? Isn't that how that works? Or she’d give less?
SARAH: I think it would depend on how much custody she had, yeah
KAYLA: Yeah. So, I would be interested to know then if he would feel the loss of that money or is it true that he truly just wants like help.
SARAH: Yeah. Man wanting to control and ruin a woman's life but fails and is shocked and upset.
KAYLA: I just like, how is it her fault that you didn't believe what she told you? Like…
SARAH: She went above and beyond to do what you wanted that she didn't want.
KAYLA: And I also don't think… like, I could see this being like, oh, well, if this was the reverse and it was a man, whatever. But to me, I would… I think I would… I mean, I don't know, I think I would feel the same way if it was the woman who wanted to keep the child, the man wasn't having it and was like okay, I'm going to pay child support, but I'm… like, from the outset was like, I'm not going to be involved.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You can have the kid if you want. Like…
SARAH: But it's even worse because she was pregnant and birthed a child.
KAYLA: Yes, it is… Yes, it is different because it was her body on the line, but even… like, I'm just saying even if a man did that, at least he's saying that at the outset, like...
SARAH: Right. She was very clear
KAYLA: Like, to be very clear about like, okay, you can have this kid. But, like, I don't have the capacity for this. Like, I'll pay child support, but I can't help raise it. Like, then you have all the information.
SARAH: He didn't believe her when she said that she didn't want to have this kid which is something that happens to women all the time where, like, I don't want kids right now, I don't want kids ever, it's like, oh well…
KAYLA: Yeah, and people just don't believe… and people just don’t believe womeeeen!
SARAH: This person says, “bro had the vanilla version of being a single mother, at least she pays child support with no issue and doesn't want to take the kid just out of spite.”
KAYLA: I mean, that's the thing, it is him calling her a deadbeat. It is like, to me, a deadbeat is someone who is uninvolved and like MIA, won't pay child support, like, isn't doing anything.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Like, he was genuinely trying to baby-trap her, it seems. He was like, well, you know…
KAYLA: She rejected my offer of being in a relationship, now, it's like…
SARAH: He was like, well, even if we weren't in a relationship, like, I wanted to co-parent, but she said she didn't want to.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't...
SARAH: Men!
KAYLA: I'm so interested in how this child has turned out.
SARAH: Yeah, me too. This is the entirety of the post, it's on r/NoStupidQuestions, it is marked ‘not safe for work.’
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: It is one sentence. How do I convince my dog that I'm spanking my wife consensually?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: That's tough.
KAYLA: Is there any good advice in there?
SARAH: It's on Twitter, so…. this person goes, “you let him watch!?”
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, I mean, that is a great question, of like, why is the dog involved
SARAH: I mean, I guess, you could you could kick the dog out of the room but some dogs will like fucking scratch and…
KAYLA: Yeah. Well, also, it could be like a sound thing of even if the dog isn't there but hears it.
SARAH: It could
KAYLA: Can you imagine like hiring a professional dog trainer to like help you like with your dog's behavior or whatever and like this is the issue that you bring to your dog trainer.
SARAH: Okay, someone included a response that's like a genuine comment
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Okay. “Dogs behave aggressively towards each other during play but have ways of signaling it's a play fight and not aggressive, sneezing periodically after snapping and growling usually. You and your wife just need to pretend to sneeze after you give her a good swat, LOL, not even lying there, that combined with taking some time to spank each other specifically in front of the dog. Craze her when she hesitates to assess the situation and forcing not barking as good behavior, laugh and play and make it exaggeratedly clear it's fun time and not upset times. Maybe even have a specific time each day or week depending on whatever your intervals are, where you do that for a bit so she gets to understand it as a part of your relationship. Dogs can learn quite a bit about social dynamics. It just helps to start by showing them in ways they can understand.”
KAYLA: Oh my God, see this is what I was looking for, give me the science of the dog. Well, I also wonder too if like… I didn't know that's why dogs were always sneezing so much, but like… because also the sounds…
SARAH: Not the cuck dog
KAYLA: The sounds that I assume are happening while this is happening also like probably don't sound… I don't know
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Maybe not the most like innocent-sounding to the dog
SARAH: Yeah. @A_Crisp_Lettuce says, “you shouldn't be exposing your dog to kinks when it can't consent.” And then a second response by the same person, “this was rage bait by the way, I don't care.”
KAYLA: I don't care
SARAH: Rage bait and only got one like for it
KAYLA: That's tragic, you should like it, to make it better
SARAH: No, I'm busy. So silly. So silly. We have some wedding ones because we always do
KAYLA: Ugh, stressful!
SARAH: Ooh, this one is a bit long. Okay, we have two wedding ones, depending on how long they take, we can do either one or two of them. Are you ready? This is on r/weddingshaming. I tried to warn the bride that her bridesmaids dresses… I have to order mine
KAYLA: You have so much time, no, you don’t
SARAH: I know, but I just… like, when will it be too late? You know
KAYLA: In a long time. Don't order it now because we still have to discuss colors, it's a whole thing
SARAH: Yeah, and also, I'm hoping that they have new ones
KAYLA: Aah, I see
SARAH: To see if they have more jumpsuit options
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: We can discuss in September when we're all together
SARAH: We can. I tried to warn the bride that her bridesmaids dresses wouldn't work for me but she insisted and now she's pissed because I look like the bride
KAYLA: Well… once again, you tell someone something and they refuse to listen and then what are we going to do?
SARAH: I'm supposed to be the maid of honor in tonight for a wedding, interesting sentence structure. Another typo, my husband in the best man… Okay, I'm just going to fix all the typos and not point them out
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Okay, my husband is the best man and we've been friends with this couple for a long time. The problem is now I'm being kicked out for being black and my husband wants to step down as best man because of it and it's causing a whole thing
KAYLA: Oh, no!
SARAH: To clarify because it's important, that the bride is not racist in any way, she's just kind of dumb for refusing to listen.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: My skin color is the issue but not because she has a problem with it overall but just because she didn't realize that my skin would make a dress look different on me than others. She has had this vision for her wedding forever, apparently. Her bridesmaids’ dresses are nearly identical to her wedding dress and style except a different color and on the bridesmaids dresses the detailing stops at the waist and they are not laced up in the back
KAYLA: I don't agree with this vision
SARAH: I don't either
KAYLA: But go on
SARAH: My dress as maid of honor is an exact carbon copy of hers just in the other color, that's a crazy detail that I skimmed past the first time I read this…
KAYLA: Okay, why would… okay, why would you do that?
SARAH: It gets worse. Here's where it gets to be a mess. She picked this color the company calls morning gray for her bridesmaids’ dresses
KAYLA: Oh… What is wrong with this woman!?
SARAH: Morning gray, for anyone wondering, is like a soft pastel gray that's about a shade of white
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: On the other bridesmaids, the dress absolutely looks gray, a very soft, very ethereal gray, but a gray nonetheless. All the other bridesmaids are also white, I'm not. I'm not only black but as I've been to the beach for another wedding this year, I'm darker than I normally am. Against my skin, the dress undeniably looks white. Like, the only way you can tell mine is actually gray is if I'm standing directly next to the bride and the dresses are side by side, then you can see mine is slightly gray and hers isn't. Now, the bride ordered all of the dresses and picked the color herself. I tried to tell her she should order mine in a darker shade of gray because I've been down this road before where I've been accused of wearing white at a wedding because the dress I wore looked white in the sunlight even though it wasn't. She insisted that she had her cousin try it on and the color was perfect and you could easily tell it was gray. I tried to explain to her that her cousin is the color of printer paper and that it would look different on me, but she was unwilling to have her vision modified. Now she's pissed at me because even though it's clear hanging with the other dresses mine is the same color as the other bridesmaids… incomplete sentence. Now she's pissed at me even though it's clear hanging… whatever. I'm… she's pissed at her. Now she's pissed at me. She has decided the only option is to kick me out of the wedding so I don't upstage her. However, she wants me to give my dress to one of the other bridesmaids which I said was fine as soon as she reimbursed me the money for it, 350 dollars
KAYLA: Good Lord!
SARAH: Compared to the rest of bridesmaids who paid about 125
KAYLA: Nooooo! No!
SARAH: But then one of the bridesmaids promptly pointed out that none of them could even wear my dress. I am not huge, but I am incredibly top-heavy, I wear a 34H bra. Which is part of why…
KAYLA: Good God!
SARAH: Yeah. Which is part of why my dress was so much more expensive than the other bridesmaids…
KAYLA: I see
SARAH: The other part being the extra detailing because it's the same as the bride's dress
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, none of the other bridesmaids would be able to keep my dress up even if the lasing was pulled as tight as it would go. So, now she's decided I have ruined her perfect wedding. Screamed at me and told me that not only am I not in the wedding but she doesn't even want me to attend as a guest. Which pissed off my husband…
KAYLA: What the fuck!?
SARAH: She was the maid of honor. Which pissed off my husband, A, because she was warned, I even sent her photos of a dress I wore that was almost the same color to a different wedding. And, B, because he, her husband, doesn't want to attend a wedding we traveled for without me. And he thinks it's bullshit since she insisted on the dress color
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: There is an update but I would like to first get your response
KAYLA: My response is, due to… okay, I am planning a wedding currently. And I have noticed that… I think in large part because of how much wedding content we have consumed on this podcast, I have been overly-cautious of like other people's feelings and not asking people too much and not wanting to like get emotions high, because I have seen how crazy weddings make people. Okay? That's one thing. This story and other things that have happened in my life of seeing other people in my life's real weddings and what they are asking of people, has made me realize that I could be being so much crazier…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I don't need to be that level of crazy, but I could be getting away with so much more
SARAH: Dean injured himself at a bachelor party!
KAYLA: Yeah, not his, someone else's
SARAH: Yeah, someone else's
KAYLA: We don't have to get into the whole thing. The one thing I will say…
SARAH: But we're not doing anything that would even get us injured
KAYLA: No
SARAH: That could even get us injured, knock on wood
KAYLA: The one thing I will say about the bachelor party he got injured at, and this is not how he got injured, but they had to run a 5K at 6 A.M
SARAH: That's crazy
KAYLA: And that's all…
SARAH: And he did it before he got injured, so he had to do it
KAYLA: He didn't even get to get out of it. That's all I'll say. And when I learned that, I was like, I… here I am, so worried about my bachelorette party, like, everyone needs to have a good time, I don't want people to spend too much money, we have to like do whatever to accommodate everyone, which like obviously I do want to do. But also, I could be being crazy
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Like, we've sent so many Airbnb options in the group chat
KAYLA: The amount of voting that has been going on…
SARAH: So much voting
KAYLA: Because I'm like, I want everyone to be happy, everyone's voices need to be heard
SARAH: And then there was a time… and so, I was like, Kayla, what do you think? It's your bachelorette party. And you were like, I don’t know!
KAYLA: I can't do it. Anyway, all this to say is, people are doing the most
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I mean, this lady, she has no legs to stand on. I think the vision is stupid, because now her… now what she's annoyed at, it is that she's being upstaged by her maid of honor
SARAH: She was warned several times
KAYLA: Why would you put your maid of honor in an identical dress to yours?
SARAH: In the same fucking dress!
KAYLA: And if it was a wildly different color, like, mm, maybe
SARAH: Even if it's a simple dress
KAYLA: The whole point of your wedding is that you're the one that stands out
SARAH: It’s you, it’s about you
KAYLA: I do not understand that vision at all
SARAH: Truly wild. And like, if you wanted that color gray, but obviously it wasn't going to work on the one person, I guess you could have had her wear a darker shade of gray or you could have had all of the bridesmaids have a couple of options of colors
KAYLA: Yeah. I think it would have been totally fine for her to wear a darker shade of gray because, A, it would have probably ended up looking more similar because of her skin tone. And, B…
SARAH: She’s the maid of honor.
KAYLA: Her dress is already different…
SARAH: It's already different, yeah
KAYLA: So, why not… it would be totally fine to have it also be a different color
SARAH: Yep. All right, are you ready for the update?
KAYLA: I just hate the vision
SARAH: Update for everyone who’s asking what happened. So, after I posted, things got ugly…
KAYLA: Eeeeeeee!
SARAH: And the groom called everything off
KAYLA: Aaah! Best case scenario!
SARAH: I initially offered to dye the dress since I was the only person not getting my hair done. My hair has been damaged more than once by stylists who don't know how to handle the texture. So, I'm very limited in who I will let do it and instead usually do it myself. The groom thought this was a great idea and even offered to pay for the stuff needed to dye it and let me use his parent’s place to do it
KAYLA: What a nice man!
SARAH: While he went to go to talk to his parents though, my now ex-friend nixed that because then I would stand out even more
KAYLA: What!?
SARAH: So, I asked what she meant by stand out even more and a whole lot of truth came out
KAYLA: Oh, no!
SARAH: Apparently, she initially hadn't wanted me in the wedding at all, but her now ex-fiancé is one of my oldest and best friends and my husband was, note the past tense, one of hers
KAYLA: It was like a crossover
SARAH: So, she was friends with the groom and her husband was friends with the bride, but they wanted to gender-segregate
KAYLA: Just do a mixed gender wedding party
SARAH: I know
KAYLA: Okay, whatever
SARAH: That's why we introduced them to each other in the first place because we thought they would hit it off and they did
KAYLA: Aah, uh-huh
SARAH: Anyway, because my husband was the closest thing she has to a sibling, she really wanted him to be the man of honor at their wedding and initially ex-groom said that was fine and he would just have me as best woman so things would look balanced and two men didn't have to walk down the aisle or whatever. She really didn't like that, so, they decided to switch us up, no big deal. So, they were going to be… they were going to be swapped
KAYLA: Okay, this sounds like the would-be bride was jealous of the maid of honor
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Like, did she think there was like something going on?
SARAH: I don't know. So, she didn't like that so they decided to switch them so that the genders would be aligned on each side
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Except apparently it was because I'm the only person of color in the whole wedding party and one of the very few who will be at the wedding at all and I'm going to stand out in every single picture. I asked her, what about the groom's parents? The groom is white, but he's adopted by a black couple
KAYLA: Oh my God!
SARAH: And is quite close to both his biological and adopted parents, but if you ask who his parents are, he always says the people who raised him. So, she…
KAYLA: Okay, so, the family of the groom is black?
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: Her theory was that his biological parents would be in the pictures, not his adoptive parents
KAYLA: Oh, so, she's just all over the place
SARAH: Well, when the groom came back and heard this, he flipped out and then she said the dumbest thing she could have said
KAYLA: I'm so frightened
SARAH: Apparently, quote it's not his fault he had no control over who adopted him, and the pictures should just be real family, unquote
KAYLA: Oh… remember in the original post when she was like, my friend definitely isn't racist
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: She was being so nice to her friend
SARAH: She was being so generous. Well, at that point the groom had heard enough and told her that they were his real family and he couldn't believe she would say that, she was not the person he thought she was and he was not marrying her. She gets pissed, tells him he's being ridiculous but his parents can be in some of the photos and that they can take some without
KAYLA: Oh, that's nice, thank you, thanks
SARAH: So thoughtful. He tells her again that he is in no way, shape, manner or form marrying her after what he heard and in fact he wants nothing to do with her. Honestly, good that he figured this out before the wedding
KAYLA: Huge. I mean…
SARAH: It would have been nice if he figured out like a lot before the wedding
KAYLA: Yeah, a lot before it, but it could be worse
SARAH: She gets upset and says, well, she's at least going to have fun at the reception. He reminds her that he and his parents paid for everything, including the reception, and she is not welcome and he would be informing security of that fact
KAYLA: That is funny to me
SARAH: The bride runs off and tells her parents what he's saying, she has got to tell on him
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: And doing so they come out guns blazing and all to confront him but apparently, she didn't give them all the facts
KAYLA: Of course, not
SARAH: Because when he laid it out for them, they were appalled, her father literally tore her a new one talking about how she was not raised that way and he couldn't believe this was the person she had become
KAYLA: Oh God!
SARAH: They apologize to the groom. So, the parents of the bride apologized to the groom
KAYLA: Okay, thank God though, because you know some families they would be like standing behind her and it would just be the most insane. So, good for them
SARAH: Yeah. They offered to pay for half of the wedding…
KAYLA: Huge
SARAH: And they left with their daughter. So, we spent the afternoon with the groom, several of the bridesmaids and all of the groomsmen were all equally shocked by her behavior
KAYLA: I love that some of the other bridesmaids stayed, that’s hilarious
SARAH: They were like, fuck that girl. I'd say we were consoling the groom but we weren't, he was too busy ranting about dodging a bullet
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Last night we went to the reception, partied until like 3 A.M and had a great time. As for the dress, I have an event later this summer and I'm going to dye the dress and wear it for that
KAYLA: Huge, I love that
SARAH: TL;DR. It turns out it was deliberate, the bride was racist and wanted no black people in her photos, including the groom's adoptive parents. They did not get married, we had a blast at the reception and I'm dying in wearing the dress for a different event
KAYLA: Wait, what she's saying it's deliberate is she saying that the bride deliberately knew that the dress wouldn't look good on her in order to have a reason to kick her out of the wedding?
SARAH: That would be diabolical
KAYLA: I think that's what she's implying
SARAH: You know, I didn't get that from the story but from the TL;DR, the way that's written, that does seem to be the implication
KAYLA: Yeah. I didn't even… well, because I'm also wondering… because her like not wanting the maid of honor to be the best woman and like stand next to him…
SARAH: Like, she did everything she could to try and get her out of the wedding party
KAYLA: Well, I'm also… yes, and also, like, is there jealousy there of like not liking that her husband is like best friends with this woman? Like, why don't you want her to be on his side? But, yeah, then also like presumably… I guess, I don't know what she would have wore if she was standing on the other side but like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Now I feel like this whole thing was on purpose to get her out of the wedding from the start. Like, she knew that it was going to look too white on her in the end
SARAH: Yeah, and she thought this would be a good enough excuse
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: She thought it would work, for some reason
KAYLA: And then when the dying option came it was like, well…
SARAH: Nooooo!
KAYLA: Nooooo! That is… okay, because also… I assume when he's saying his parents paid for… like him and his parents paid for everything, I'm assuming that's the adoptive parents because that is the people he identifies as his parents
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: So, these people who you’re saying are not his real family and you don't want in the pictures are the people funding the entire thing?
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: What is wrong with this woman!?
SARAH: Imagine being her, the bride's parents, and finding out first of all your daughter is a fucking racist and then now suddenly you're out tens of thousands of dollars because you have to do the morally right thing and offer to pay half
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying, like, her parents are… like, I'm very impressed with the parents, it would have been so easy for them to be like, oh, we're going to stick by the side of our kid, whatever. Like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: What is wrong with… how did this happen to her?
SARAH: Truly wild
KAYLA: It makes me wonder how the husband of the maid of honor… like, the best man, because it sounds like the best man was friends with the bride…
[00:40:00]
SARAH: With her, yeah
KAYLA: And the maid of honor was friends with the groom
SARAH: It said all of the groomsmen were there partying
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: So, I'm just interested in like then how…
SARAH: What the dynamic… yeah
KAYLA: What… like, how the husband now feels of like, oh, did he see this coming or is this like super out of character for her. If he's like known her and been friends with her for a really long time, you know
SARAH: Yeah. I like this comment that says, she doesn't want to be upstaged by the other girls but her vision is to have everyone basically wear the same dress as her?
KAYLA: This is exactly what I was saying
SARAH: Does she just think she's going to look better than all of them in the dress?
KAYLA: I don't…
SARAH: Like, is that what she's… she thinks she's hotter than all of her bridesmaids?
KAYLA: Because I've seen people do… where they like have their bridesmaids wear white or like have a white wedding where like they encourage everyone to wear white
SARAH: Yeah, like a black and white wedding or… yeah
KAYLA: But I feel as though when you do that, you must know what you're doing. Like, if you're going to have your bridesmaids wear white next to you, it's going to be a line of women wearing white
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Instead of just one, like, you must know
SARAH: It's like that episode of Schitt's Creek where David is getting married and he wanted a black and white wedding because he's David and that's what he wanted and then Moira turns up in a wedding dress… No, was it Alexis? Maybe it was Alexis
KAYLA: Yes, because Alexis walked him down the aisle, it looked like they were getting married
SARAH: Yes, that was Alexis
KAYLA: Moira was wearing that… I think she was wearing like a big weird hat
SARAH: She always is. No, but, okay, Alexis was wearing a dress that was completely white, it was like satin like off way
KAYLA: No, but it was a wedding… no, it is a wedding dress though, because she's like… isn’t that a wedding dress that came with this like tool head piece. And they were like…
SARAH: Yeah, and it was a veil
KAYLA: A veil? Yes
SARAH: And they were like, we know this is a black and white wedding but you are literally walking me down the aisle and it looks like I'm marrying my sister
KAYLA: Yeah, yeah
SARAH: Anyway. Yeah, that's that
KAYLA: Just a bad vision
SARAH: Yeah, it's just like… come on now. Do we want to do one more?
KAYLA: Maybe a little one
SARAH: It's not little
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: How about this? Okay, this one is one that is fake
KAYLA: How do you know that?
SARAH: Because it's from a tweet and the caption of the tweet says, opened Reddit to ask a question and got reminded of the time that I plagiarized The Long Game out of pure boredom
KAYLA: Oh my God!
SARAH: The Long Game is one of the Heated Rivalry books
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: But this was clearly posted before the series came out, so…
KAYLA: It blew up, yeah
SARAH: Yeah. Am I the asshole for leaving my friends’ wedding early because I was tired of standing? I, 29, F, went to my friends’, both 30, M wedding last month. They held it in their back garden and upon arrival I noticed they did not have a single chair for guests, everyone was standing during the entire ceremony and post wedding celebrations dancing and drinking for hours. I was wearing heels and by the fourth hour my feet hurt so much I could feel blisters forming at the back of my heel. I tried to be polite and smile through it, some guests even sat on the grass at some point, but I ultimately decided to leave and told the grooms I was feeling sick and wished them the best. I was very disappointed and surprised, these friends are very wealthy and can afford more than a back garden wedding although they wanted to keep it super small and private, I think the chairs are kind of a given to have at any time in a gathering. I spoke to many of the guests the next day and we were all collectively dumbfounded at their lack of preparation, they didn't even have vows. Am I the asshole for leaving and being disappointed or am I exaggerating my discomfort and they're valid for having the wedding of their dreams regardless of how I feel about it?
KAYLA: I think that is so silly. But also, I know it's fake and everything but I'm just like, take off your shoes
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Then take off the shoes
SARAH: Find something to sit upon and put it between your butt and grass
KAYLA: Because also I don't think it was like a super formal…
SARAH: No, that was the whole point
KAYLA: I don't think people were in formal wear. I mean, I… so, like, why were you wearing heels in the first place?
SARAH: Well, I mean, I could still see why you would want to wear heels, but…
KAYLA: Yeah, but it's casual enough that you could have taken them off instead of leaving, I wouldn't have left that wedding, me personally
SARAH: Yeah. This person goes, I use a wheelchair and I would have been the luckiest person there. Plus, I could have made some quick money charging people to sit on my lap
KAYLA: A business opportunity
SARAH: This person goes, bro, I'm not using my free will good enough
KAYLA: Oh, that is very silly
SARAH: This person, yeah, not having chairs is insane but you come off as judgmental about other parts of the wedding that don't affect you, why do you care that they don't have vows? All right, I'll save the other wedding one for next time
KAYLA: Should I not have chairs at my wedding to make it a Long Game-style wedding?
SARAH: If you do, can I know in advance so I can make my shoe choice accordingly
KAYLA: Well, you don't get to sit during the ceremony anyway
SARAH: That's true, I have to stand anyway
KAYLA: You're one of the few people that stands, you might be one of only three people standing, so
SARAH: Oh my God, the bridesmaids and groomsmen are going to be sitting?
KAYLA: Potentially, yeah
SARAH: Oh my God, I'm going to be standing, it'll be like stand-up comedy
KAYLA: It will be, but then you are the closest to the PDA, so
SARAH: I can do stand-up comedy about the PDA
KAYLA: I'm sure you will
SARAH: There was a couple at the gym yesterday…
KAYLA: I know
SARAH: Acting like they were in a theme park line…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: At the gym
KAYLA: I don't quite understand… to me, when you're at the gym you're… like, you should be trying to get in and out, why are you spending time canoodling?
SARAH: I don't know, I see it all the time
KAYLA: I don’t get it
SARAH: Okay, that's all. You can… thanks for…
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: This is what I'm going to do at your wedding
KAYLA: Oh, great! You can… that's all you say, for like, oh, kiss. You can… thanks
SARAH: Mouths
KAYLA: Mouths, do it, touch, mouths touch time
SARAH: Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Do you think that lady is a deadbeat mom?
SARAH: No, of course she's not, that's a foolish question
KAYLA: I don’t know, what if someone thinks she is? I don't know
SARAH: Then they should maybe read our book or like the backlog of our podcast or any feminist text
KAYLA: Okay, that sounds good
SARAH: What scene from a piece of media would you put on Reddit as ‘am I the asshole?’ that's like fake that you would just steal?
KAYLA: Ooh, that's a good one, I feel like there's a lot of good Shakespeare options
SARAH: Mm, yeah. Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My beef is Dean is injured and it's sad. He's like fine but he is also injured, so
SARAH: He has made an injury
KAYLA: He's in a little sling but he'll be okay. My other beef is that…
SARAH: Is it his dominant hand or his other hand?
KAYLA: Yes, it sure is, yes, it is, yes, it is
SARAH: Great!
KAYLA: You should also see the bruise. Oh my God, I need to send you a picture, it's like actually the most insane thing I've ever seen
SARAH: I do want to see, I've seen some pretty insane bruises on my grandma, so
KAYLA: Great. I think he sent me a picture earlier, I'll see if I can find it. Oh, my other beef is that it's back to school season and I work at a school. So, you can guess
SARAH: School started in LAUSD last week!
KAYLA: That's so stupid
SARAH: Last week!
KAYLA: That's very stupid
SARAH: August 13th! Or 12th or something
KAYLA: My juice is that I started watching The Great British Sewing Bee, which is like…
SARAH: Mm, my mom likes that
KAYLA: The Great British… I had never… I have obtained it in ways that are secretive
SARAH: Areeeeee…
KAYLA: They areeeee secretive. Now, I was able to watch the first season but then I could not watch two through four but now I watched five
SARAH: Whence is it?
KAYLA: I don't know, I can… I know where it is for me, I don't know where else it's like… I mean, it's the BBC, so, I don't know if you have like BritBox or whatever
SARAH: Well, because my mom has watched this, so. You can watch it for free on Roku
KAYLA: Well, you can also watch it for free where I have it, but
SARAH: I'm just saying you could watch two to four for free on Roku
KAYLA: That's fair. But also… but now I'm already ahead… like, they've changed hosts, it's a whole thing
SARAH: Oh my God
KAYLA: Anyway, it's like The Great British Bake Off or The Great Pottery Throw Down, also British, a good show, but it's for sewing and…
SARAH: My mom watches that too
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: Grand. My juice is I'm going to Toronto this weekend to see BTS
KAYLA: I'm shocked
SARAH: And I'm going with my mom, I'm going to see some fandom friends, it'll be good. So, my juice is BTS. My beef is BTS. I have two beefs with them right now; the first one is that Namjoon and Hobi went to a fucking Chris Brown concert
KAYLA: Why would they do that!?
SARAH: Posted about it on their Instagram stories. Took a picture with Chris Brown
KAYLA: Are they dumb!?
SARAH: It was a combined Chris Brown and Usher tour. Usher is not good either…
KAYLA: Wait, have you not heard about this tour?
SARAH: Yeah, I have
KAYLA: Have you heard about the women?
[00:50:00]
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Okay…
SARAH: I mean, I've seen the videos of Chris Brown basically fucking that woman on stage
KAYLA: Yeah, so, the thing… both of them do this in this tour, they bring women fans on stage to like dance with them
SARAH: Fans!?
KAYLA: Oh, these are not dancers
SARAH: Oh!
KAYLA: These are people from the crowd
SARAH: Oh!
KAYLA: They bring these women on stage and like dance all upon them, and there have been women who like they are… they are like fully having sex, like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Maybe not, but like, it kind of… it looks exactly like they are
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And there was one that went viral because this woman went up with… I forget if… I think she went up with Chris Brown, and she was just like not into it, he was like, oh, trying to like, whatever, and she was just sitting there like stone-faced. And he ended up like sending her off stage and I think the story was she thought she was going up for the other one and so was like not into… whatever
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But there was like one a lady who like went up there and was like basically having sex with whichever one she was up there with and her… and like it got posted everywhere, obviously. And her husband ended up like divorcing her, because he was like, what the fuck are you doing!?
SARAH: Oh my God, that's crazy
KAYLA: But yeah, these are not dancers. Like, this is not…
SARAH: I thought it was just like dancers, oh my God!
KAYLA: No, it is not a professional, it is just… like, isn't that so sketchy?
SARAH: That's crazy
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Chris Brown, I feel like pretty much everyone knows this, although a lot of armies are claiming Namjoon and Hobi didn't know
KAYLA: That just…
SARAH: But he's an abuser of many, many, many women, not just Rihanna
KAYLA: How do you not know? Like, there's just no way you don't know his reputation. And someone could… certainly, someone knew that could have told them
SARAH: Like, they could have gone to the concert and kept fucking quiet about it, then it wouldn't have been nearly as bad
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But they posted about it, they took a picture with him, they were like, oh, it's great to meet you. Fans are really mad
KAYLA: Yeah, I just can't believe that
SARAH: They have a largely female fan base
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Namjoon is famously a feminist. Like, known for being a feminist
KAYLA: Yeah. I just find it hard to believe that they didn't know or someone on their team… like, there's no way no one knew how bad this was going to be
SARAH: And it's very hard to effectively communicate with them as fans because all of their personal Instagrams have comments off
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You could write stuff on Weverse but like they don't really seem to use Weverse that much anymore
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And they're always, like, oh, yeah, like, you know, we should learn and grow and like the reason that Namjoon is a famed feminist is because they came out with a song that people were like, mm, this is a little bit like sexist
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, Namjoon was like, I'm so sorry, let me go talk to feminist professors
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, he was like on some list that some people did of like good men, like, men who were good. And they took him off the list, they removed him from the list
KAYLA: That's so crazy
SARAH: And so, fans are really mad
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, I have never… like, there was a bit of a reckoning in army at the beginning of the whole… the current Israeli invasion of Gaza, essentially
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Where people including myself were quite mad that they didn't say anything
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: They didn't acknowledge it in any way. And it really did split the fandom apart in a lot of ways because there's the pro-boycott people, the anti-boycott people, the people who aren't personally boycotting but support the boycott
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, it's… you know
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But this is the first time that a lot of fans have been like genuinely disappointed in them and like genuinely upset with them before
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But there are fucking boy-mom fans who are like, they didn't know, they're Korean. Like, they're just separating the artist from the art. They met the artist, they took photos with the artist. Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
KAYLA: Yeah. I also like… I think maybe much earlier in their career you could make the excuse that like, oh, they're not from our country, like, they're not as familiar with these artists, whatever. But if you are going to expand into the American market in the way they have and have so many American fans, it's your responsibility to know what is going on in the American industry
SARAH: Namjoon speaks English. And some people were like, oh, well, Rihanna forgave him, so it's okay
KAYLA: That is not my business
SARAH: And it's like, Rihanna is not the only person he abused
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Also, it's been in… like, Usher too was in the news recently about fucking P. Diddy, like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And like usher doesn't surprise me as much because he did a feature on one of the versions of Jung Kook’s songs, and I didn't like it then either
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But people are really mad and we were, like, okay, so, make a statement that's like, I'm sorry, I will reconsider…
KAYLA: Or go back to the professors
SARAH: Or a fucking statement that says, hey, we hear you, we're collecting our thoughts, we’ll get back to you
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Nothing!
KAYLA: Mm, yeah
SARAH: So, people are really mad. So, I hope… they've had a couple of shows since then, I hope people are bringing signs…
KAYLA: I have to imagine someone has
SARAH: That are like, ‘hey, what the fuck!? ‘
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, that's very upsetting. The other upsetting thing is that they've done several ads for Gemini, the AI thing
KAYLA: Noooo!
SARAH: And it's like, okay, what happened to fucking… Namjoon has a lyric in one of his songs that's, ‘I want to be a human before I do some art.’ Like, what are you… like, last year Jimin like joked about how like, oh, AI was going like take over and like become BTS and then they would just become obsolete. Like, I'm sorry, you don't need the fucking money
KAYLA: No!
SARAH: You don't… you could have said no
KAYLA: Yeah, that's…
SARAH: And like, it's all this… like, the… I haven't actually seen the ad but I have seen discourse about it and like I know part of it is like, Yoon-gi is like talking to it and it's like helping him with his music, producing, whatever
KAYLA: No!
SARAH: And it's like… like, someone had a very good point, where it's like, BTS themselves don't… they might ask ChatGPT stupid shit, I don't know, but they don't use AI in the way that is being conveyed in this ad
KAYLA: In the ad, yeah
SARAH: Because they have people for that. They have assistants, they have personal trainers, they have like all this shit
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But the people they're advertising to don't have that
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, like, they're selling something that they're not even doing themselves and being like, oh, you should all do this. For a fucking paycheck? You have enough fucking money
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So angry
KAYLA: Yay!
SARAH: But still excited
KAYLA: Maybe you should make a song
SARAH: Mixed feelings. That's all, you can tell us about your beef, your juice, the apology you recommend Namjoon and Hobi give. And people are more mad at Namjoon than Hobi just because of his reputation
KAYLA: The reputation, yeah
SARAH: People are still mad at Hobi though. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your thoughts on the fact that it's supposed to rain this weekend in Toronto which is not ideal, the concert is indeed outdoors. You can tell us about your beef, those things… the things I all just said, on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Mary S., Mel McMeans, Meredith, Morgan I., and Philip Rueker. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Benjamin Ybarra who would like to promote Tabletop Games. Clare Olsen who would like to promote Impact_Frame. Danielle Hutchinson who would like to promote Rainbow Pride Knits. Derick & Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face. And Elle Bitter who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators /srs. Our other $10 patrons are Eric, my aunt Jeannie, Johanna, Kayla's dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Purple Hayes, Quartertone, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Sydney Price, Val, Alastor, Ani, and Arcnes. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer. Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com. Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com. And Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Changeling & Alex who would like to promote their company Control Alt Access (dot com). And Dr. Jacki, Dragonfly, my mom and River who would like to promote learning the fan chant to Body to Body by BTS. It's the Korean folk song Arirang and I don't think my mom has done it even though I gave her an ample warning
KAYLA: Julieeeeee!
SARAH: Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows
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