Ep 392: Reddit Rabbithole pt. 25
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me)
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl (That's me, Kayla)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode: Reddit Rabbithole
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: Yeah, a new little… a new flow
KAYLA: Interesting, yeah, switch it up. Get crazy
SARAH: We have a housekeeping
KAYLA: And it's just as shocking to me as it is to you
SARAH: I mostly forgot about it as well; we're going on summer break.
KAYLA: You guys, I forgot we did that. Sarah was like, so is this the last one before summer break? And I was like, oh my God, I forgot we let ourselves take a break these days.
SARAH: Yeah, it's crazy.
KAYLA: It’s crazy.
SARAH: We only do this ten months out of the year.
KAYLA: I know, we're so crazy like that.
SARAH: Yes, so, normally, this would be the last before break, but I… because of my travel schedule we're able to do one more.
KAYLA: You're welcome!
SARAH: So, this week we have an episode and then next week on July 5th, we'll have an episode and then we'll be off for the following four weeks and it'll be back on August 9th.
KAYLA: Crazy! If anyone has any ideas of one last thing you'd like to hear from us before we go
SARAH: Make it a real banger
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yep
SARAH: Should we podcast from your bachelorette party?
KAYLA: Now, that's… okay, Patreon-exclusive, we get everyone on the bachelorette to like… anyone who like is comfortable.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I think that would actually be really fun
SARAH: I'm full of ideas. Okay, well, anyway.
KAYLA: Wait, what was the other Patreon-exclusive thing we were talking about the other day? It was really good.
SARAH: Stick It commentary.
KAYLA: Oh, Stick It commentary, yeah
SARAH: Did you see the video I sent you yesterday?
KAYLA: Probably not.
SARAH: Of the girl on… it is this girl on Instagram who it shows the shot in Stick It when she's in the ice bath and she's getting out and the girl was like, this was my lesbian awakening at nine years old.
KAYLA: That's so funny. Love!
SARAH: He he! Do you know they have female Savannah Bananas now?
KAYLA: I love that!
SARAH: There's a female Savannah Banana and then there's a woman on one of the other new teams in the Banana Ball universe
KAYLA: Universe. I know the party animals is one of the teams.
SARAH: There is the party animals, there's the firefighters, there's now the Indianapolis clowns
KAYLA: Love!
SARAH: There's a team...
KAYLA: Oh my God! I bet they have sick merch.
SARAH: There's a team in Florida that's like the coco something, coconut something, that's the one with…
KAYLA: They should really have a Boston team, because every time they come to Boston they sell out like Fenway for like a week straight, it's crazy.
SARAH: Yeah. And there's I think one or two other new teams.
KAYLA: I want to look up that. I really need to get into Banana Ball, like actually watching it.
SARAH: You know Derek Klena? Like, the Broadway guy.
KAYLA: Yeah, he's in Banana Ball now
SARAH: He just pivoted to banana ball. He said, I've had enough time on Broadway
KAYLA: I mean, they do do a lot of singing in there, so it's like, you know.
SARAH: Yeah. And it's like, I'm not sure if he's like… if he's… this is a long-term career pivot or if he's just doing it for a season
KAYLA: Oh, the Indianapolis Clowns was like a historic team, too, I didn't realize that
SARAH: Oh! Wow!
KAYLA: It was like a black league, they called it something else, I'm not going to say that word, I don't think that's comfortable for me to say that.
SARAH: Yeah, I don't think you're supposed to do that
KAYLA: I mean, not the bad one, but like, you know…
SARAH: Yeah, the other one
KAYLA: It doesn't feel right for me to be saying all that
SARAH: Okay, should we do a podcast?
KAYLA: I wanted them to have more like clown-based merch, because you know, I love a clown
SARAH: Yeah, I think they're a newer… they're one of the newer teams though, so maybe they'll get there, you know
KAYLA: Okay, well, I'll be waiting
SARAH: Do you think that the guy who bats on stilts like legally had to be traded to the Clowns?
KAYLA: That's actually a really good question, but here's the thing, it is I feel like a lot of them have kind of like clown-esque skill sets to be in Banana Ball.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It feels like there's kind of like… Like, a lot of people are out there juggling, hitting a split, being on the stilts.
SARAH: It's like, are you both athletic and also whimsical?
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, you have to be both
SARAH: This is the sport for you.
KAYLA: This is the sport for you. Let's get into banana ball.
SARAH: I was watching a video about Derek Klena. So, I was like, how did he get into this? And I guess he played like competitive baseball, he was a walk-on to the UCLA team.
KAYLA: Wow!
SARAH: As a pitcher. And then he started to succeed a little bit when he was like 18 in like… he got… he like placed in like some sort of singing competition.
KAYLA: I’ve read Troy Bolton
SARAH: An actual Troy Bolton situation. Like, he was saying that when he was a kid like he would like pitch four innings and then his dad would be like, “you have curtain in 45, you have to go.”
KAYLA: Oh my God! Has he ever during Banana Ball like sung the high school musical song about like, my head is in the…
SARAH: Getcha head in the game, my heart's in the song, it feels so wrong
KAYLA: Yeah. I feel like they should really have him out there doing that.
SARAH: I haven't seen it, but I think it would be great, he has sung Midnight Sun by Zara Larsson
KAYLA: Love!
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: I think I'm going to get into Banana Ball.
SARAH: Okay, great.
KAYLA: Let's begin.
SARAH: I think I'm going to get into ‘Am I the asshole?’ posts
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: This is an ‘Am I the Asshole?’ Are you ready?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Am I the asshole for asking my stepfather to pay rent to live in a house that I own after he asked me to pay rent once I turn 18?
KAYLA: Oh, I… well, I mean. Hey!
SARAH: Okay, I'll be 18 in a couple of months. My stepfather of five years gave me the heads up that I need to start paying a fair rent to continue living in the house after I turn 18. The house we currently live in belonged to my dad who died when I was six. My mom and dad were never married and I inherited the house and my mom and I lived here and then my stepfather moved in after they got married. It looks like my stepfather was under the impression that my mom owns the house
KAYLA: Ooh!
SARAH: I told him that's not happening as I own the house, he laughed at me and didn't believe it, I talked to my mom and she confirmed that she never told him that I own the house, he now knows the truth. So, the reality is he believed it was completely fair to ask me to pay rent when he didn't know I owned the house. So, it's only fair that I ask him to pay me rent now.
KAYLA: Oh… Okay. Sorry, how long… did it say how long he has been living there or how long he has been with the mom?
SARAH: Five years
KAYLA: Okay, I'm sorry, I don't really know a lot about step-parent dynamics
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I don't think, as a step-parent, because it sounds like he didn't run this by the mom
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Because if he had run this by the mom, the mom would have been like, well, actually, she owns our house.
SARAH: Yeah. Step-parent is just being way too big for their britches, trying to be the man of the house
KAYLA: Well, I don't think a step-parent should be setting down rules like that, especially without consulting the other parent
SARAH: Yeah. Unless the step-parent is like essentially the parent and has been raising this kid for…
KAYLA: But at this point it seems like perhaps not
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It would be one thing if they were… yeah, around the whole time helped raise the kid from when they were young.
SARAH: Right. Like, you came into OP's life when they were 13 years old.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's like not…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: If you don't know the situation well enough where the mom isn't telling the stepdad that the house he lives in belongs to the kid, then they're clearly… the relationship is not there where you should be making those calls.
SARAH: Yeah. And like I can see why the stepmom wouldn't think to tell him that because like why would it… like, if the house is paid off…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Why would it matter? But it turns out in this instance it does
KAYLA: I think it would though, especially if she's turning 18.
SARAH: Why do you assume this is a woman?
KAYLA: Well, I do, because I don't think a man would talk to a son like that
SARAH: I assumed it was a man
KAYLA: Really?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I don't know, for some reason I just got girl vibes.
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: But, so the… whatever, OP owns the house
SARAH: Also, OP becoming a homeowner at six years old, that's crazy
KAYLA: Well, how does that work though?
SARAH: I think…
KAYLA: Because like isn't it when usually like someone dies and it's like in a trust until the kid turns 18?
SARAH: Presumably it would have been in a trust and I assume that the mom ran the trust
KAYLA: Right. So, I feel like it maybe should have been a discussion that the stepdad was involved in of like hey, the kid is turning 18, like this trust is becoming a thing. Because I assume there's also other stuff in the trust not just this house
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: If all of that dad's assets went to the kid, it can't just be the house that's wrapped up in this. So, I feel like that would have been a family discussion of like, hey, like you're turning 18, let's like figure this out
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: That is cuckoo bananas
SARAH: I think you should charge stepdad rent and charge him as much as he was going to charge you
KAYLA: More even maybe, because I assume he has an adult job with adult money and you're just a child.
SARAH: Yeah, I mean has he been paying rent for the past five years living in this house?
KAYLA: Well, because that's also the thing, if house seems paid off, if you're able to put it in a trust like this. So, he hasn't been paying… like, there has been no mortgage payments.
[00:10:00]
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: He has just been living there fully for free.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, what do you mean?
SARAH: Loser-full behavior.
KAYLA: What do the comments say?
SARAH: Um, people are being like, you can't inherit a house when you're six. Like, yes, you can, it's just you're not running it at just six years old.
KAYLA: Yeah. People inherit things as children all the time, they just keep it in another place for a while
SARAH: Yeah. This person was like actually, yeah, they lived off of OP's inheritance for long enough
KAYLA: I mean…
SARAH: It's not his place to demand rent for a house that he doesn't own, this person also thinks it was a daughter, from a daughter that isn't his, that would fully be the mom's decision.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Why is he acting like a landlord in a house he knows damn well has nothing to do with him? If I'm the mom, I'm telling you do apologize to both me and my child
KAYLA: Because like, clearly, he hasn't been paying… Or like helping fund living there because there is no funding. So, what is the point of asking for rent? It's not like, oh, we need help paying the mortgage
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Because you're not paying for anything. So, why do you need rent?
SARAH: Yeah. This person says, if stepdad contributed to the house finances before, he would have known that the house wasn't in the wife's name, he's a freeloader that was looking for a way to make the kid miserable enough to leave, that's why he asked without consulting his wife. He can pay rent or he can leave.
KAYLA: It’s what I'm saying, clearly, he's not involved in the house finances at all or he would have known this. So, how is it your place to ask?
SARAH: And this person makes a good point, this is Nala's assistant, I don't know who Nala is, but this is their assistant
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: That often, I would say 99% of the time when parents ask their kids to do that to do this, it's just an attempt to try and get them out of the house
KAYLA: Yeah, I would say that or…
SARAH: Or they're like I've been… like you're grown now
KAYLA: I think, yeah, especially for if the child is older, like 18 to me is a pretty… I don't think you need to be kicking your 18-year-old out of the… Like, I know they're legally an adult but like they probably just graduated high school, I understand if the kid is like 25 or up still living with you and it's like, okay, you need to like try to get your own feet under you.
SARAH: But that's also only if they're not doing all the other right stuff, I think this is also… this is a very American situation
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Because in so many other cultures, they would be like, what are you fucking talking about? Why would you make your child to pay rent to live in your house?
KAYLA: Yeah, and also, like why would you leave? Like, why would the kid leave?
SARAH: Right. I think it's a very American… I mean, I don't know that this is a white family but it… of the people who live in the United States of America, it does seem more likely that it would be a white family doing this than any other, just culturally for what I know.
KAYLA: Yeah, I guess especially I'm thinking of like my friends that are first or second gen, especially, they are not being kicked out of the house, it is much more common for like multiple generations to be living in a house together.
SARAH: Especially a family or families that don't have generational wealth accrued, like they wouldn't expect their child…
KAYLA: Can I tell you something about general generational wealth that I learned today?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I was talking to someone who was telling me about their friend whose parents are very wealthy, I'm not sure how the parents got all this money. But the parents are like the first generation of having a bunch of wealth, it's not like it has been generational. The family has… they work with their financial advisors or whatever, on their 500-year plan
SARAH: What!?
KAYLA: They have a 500-year plan for keeping the money in the family.
SARAH: They said we're new money, but we're going to be old money
KAYLA: A 500-year plan!
SARAH: What!?
KAYLA: Is that not the most batshit thing you've ever heard?
SARAH: Probably
KAYLA: And apparently, they like didn't let their kids have access to the money. Like, they made their kids like go out and get jobs and like struggle for a while and then gave their kids jobs in their companies with like six figures, so
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: At least, they like made them have a normal life for a some amount of time, I guess, to like learn to be normal, but like, a 500-year plan
SARAH: Yeah, that's wild
KAYLA: Who is out there doing that?
SARAH: Them, apparently
KAYLA: I guess
SARAH: I mean, maybe that's how the old money stays in the family. Maybe that's what the old money people are doing
KAYLA: I mean, clearly, it's just so wild to see people with new money…
SARAH: Being so determined to become old money.
KAYLA: Yeah. Like, I didn't know we were still…
SARAH: This was still a thing we cared about
KAYLA: I didn't know people were like coming in doing that. Like, I just didn't know we were… I just didn't know we were doing that.
SARAH: I dream of being a Walton. I dream of being a Murdoch.
KAYLA: I just don't… I also just don't quite understand… and maybe if I was rich I would somehow feel differently. I just don't quite understand the need to keep the money in the family for 500 years. Like, why… I just don't know why I care about where my money is 500 years from now. Do you know what I mean? I don't quite understand that.
SARAH: Yeah. Also, I just realized the Walton family is not… well, they might be old money. Please hold. Because the Walton family are the are the Walmart people.
KAYLA: Oh, I didn't know that.
SARAH: Oh, no, yeah, they're new money, they're not old money.
KAYLA: Well, I'm sure…
SARAH: My apologies.
KAYLA: I wonder if they have a 500-year plan
SARAH: Murdoch's though, I believe they're old money
KAYLA: It sounds like an old money name
SARAH: Murdoch family.
KAYLA: Is that why it's called Walmart?
SARAH: Yeah. History…
KAYLA: A 500-year plan!?
SARAH: I don't know. Who knows? The thing is like a lot of like the real old money people are people that you haven't heard of because they…
KAYLA: Moving in secret.
SARAH: Yeah, they move in secret and they keep it quiet and that's how they…
KAYLA: That's how they keep it into their tax fraud or whatever
SARAH: Yeah. Okay…
KAYLA: Anyway
SARAH: Here's the next one, it's in r/Sex.
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: My girlfriend blows me too often
KAYLA: Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
SARAH: Okay. Old throwaway because my girlfriend browses this sub, I feel like she might still…
KAYLA: Yeah, I… yeah
SARAH: Okay, I can't believe I'm writing this because I never imagined this could be something I would complain about. I've been with my incredible girlfriend for about two years, she has always loved giving me blowjobs and has blown me about five times a week throughout our relationship. But the past couple of months it has gotten progressively more and more often to the point that she's blowing me up to three times a day.
KAYLA: Damn!
SARAH: I love my girlfriend immensely, but it's just too much at times. When she has asked to blow me I've tried suggesting we do other things or told her maybe later. We have sex about three times a week and I eat her out about three times as well. Okay, go off. She always listens to me and doesn't make any more moves, but I know it still upsets her. I've asked her why she loves blowing me so much and she just says she loves me and she loves getting me off. I don't know what to do. I love when she gives me head but someday she has literally blown me raw. I don't need to sound ungrateful or like a bitch. But what do I do?
KAYLA: Wow! Huh!
SARAH: Ilya Rozanov has problems
KAYLA: I… yeah, does she have like an oral fixation that she needs to work through? Like…
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: I worry about her jaw.
SARAH: It's probably very strong
KAYLA: Right? Like… I hope she… like, I hope she's like massaging her jaw muscles in between all of this
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I worry she's going to like get a locked jaw or something
SARAH: Yeah. All of the replies are either like, steak too juicy, lobster too buttery.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Which like, I get, but also like, it's causing this person distress
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean…
SARAH: Clearly, he can tell that like his girlfriend likes doing it, so, he doesn't want to be like… you know?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: The rest of the comments are saying, just get married, she won't ever blow you again, so.
KAYLA: Oh my God!
SARAH: To be fair, this is on Twitter, so the replies are just awful.
KAYLA: Why do people hate their spouses? I was talking to Dean about this earlier this week, because I heard… I think I'm just very much in my like little bubble of people who are normal, like what I think of as normal. So, I don't hear like the old ball and chain stuff as much
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But I recently heard something where someone was talking about like, oh, my husband has been like horny all day and like sending me these ridiculous texts, it’s like ha ha ha. And this other person was like, oh, this is what happens if we deprive our husbands like blah blah. And I was like, do you hate each other? Like, why are you saying it like that? Because it's also just perpetuating the stereotype of like, oh my husband always wants to have sex, and me the wife like I am so… like, I'm like a prude about it.
SARAH: I like have to just like agree when I don’t want to
KAYLA: I like just have to like sit there and take it, whatever. But I was just like, oh…
SARAH: Tell him to use his hand
KAYLA: I was just like, oh, I didn't realize that we were all still doing that
SARAH: Oh, yeah, a lot of people are still doing a lot of things
KAYLA: Like, why don’t we just like your spouse? Like, just get divorced? Like, I don't quite know what to tell you about all that.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't… Because he said that when he tries to put it off he could tell that it kind of upsets her, because part of me is like, okay, you know, you just like, I mean you just need to have like honest communication about like hey, it's too much. But it just makes me wonder about like, I'm just curious like why she likes it so much to the point where he's saying like, no, and she gets upset.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Clearly, she's getting something out of it
SARAH: I found the original Reddit post because I knew that their Reddit comments would actually be constructive…
KAYLA: Better, yeah
SARAH: And the Twitter comments are obviously not
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, the top voted comment says, I'd say offer to go down on her instead, tell her your dick is sore from all the attention, you need a few days to heal but that she can request anything else she wants. Hell, get to her first before she…
KAYLA: Get to her!? I do think the like… I think the best way to go about it could just be the physical of like it kind of… like, it's happening so much that it doesn't feel good anymore. Like I don't… I feel like… because I'm not getting like…
SARAH: Because then you’re not getting like… I'm not getting as much out of it as we both want me to
KAYLA: Right. Because especially if she's doing it of like oh, I like to give you pleasure, then telling her like, oh, it's happening so much that it’s not as pleasurable anymore, it might be like the most polite way to go about it
SARAH: Yeah. This person says, okay, she likes pleasing you, she may have a bit of a submissive streak, play with that, think of something else you want, be kinky, be creative. She's sucking your dick because it's a shortcut to your orgasm, give her other directions. And then someone else responded and said, I also love to get my guy off and I'm pretty submissive. What I'm looking for is just to please and often guys don't tell me what they want, non-sexual pleasing is just as fulfilling to me, it's just that they have to be told what…
KAYLA: That's… no, that's actually very…
SARAH: You're just assuming...
KAYLA: Yeah, that's very interesting, if she is… Yeah, being fulfilled by pleasing him and getting him off there are… that's… yeah, the easiest way that she thinks she can do it, she doesn't know that there's like other ways that he would like, that's very interesting.
SARAH: Yeah, so…
KAYLA: I want a follow-up. Like, I want him…
SARAH: It was from six years ago
KAYLA: Oh, well… I hope they're married. But I wish that he like followed that advice and then was like, okay, here's what… like, I'm just so curious.
SARAH: Yeah. Because it was a throwaway it's the only post on that account, so, I don't have any…
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm just so curious like, what's up with this lady?
SARAH: Yeah. Does she have an oral fixation?
KAYLA: No, because I… the submissive thing, I hadn't thought of that angle but that makes it make a lot more sense.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And I feel like if they just explored that…
SARAH: They could have a good time
KAYLA: They could be having fun
SARAH: Okay, this one… it's definitely fake, but it's funny, it's short. So, we’ll get to it.
KAYLA: Okay, all right.
SARAH: This is the plot of a romcom slash fan fiction.
KAYLA: Okay, great.
SARAH: This is in r/ApplyingToCollege.
KAYLA: What!?
SARAH: I lied about being gay on application, now I'm in too deep. Help, I don't know what to do. In order to get into the Ivy Leagues, I said I was gay because I wanted that DEI benefit. But then I actually got into Harvard and was scared they would realize I was lying, so I started dating a guy just to be safe and now I'm in too deep to get in out of this relationship. But I think I'm in love with him. Am I actually gay?
KAYLA: Okay, I would watch the shit out of that. That is very good to me. Okay, wait, Heated Rivalry fanfic wear that
SARAH: It's college hockey
KAYLA: Yeah, wear that
SARAH: Yeah. And it's definitely Shane who lies about being gay.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah!
SARAH: Also, because Ilya is bi anyway, but… okay.
KAYLA: Yeah, Shane doesn't know he's gay yet
SARAH: Okay, my 36, F, husband, 41, male has some disturbing requests for after he has passed away
KAYLA: I can't wait
SARAH: This one is really bizarre and I'm sorry ahead of time. My husband of 12 years has had some medical problems recently, the topic about end-of-life plans came up and I asked if he wanted to be buried, he didn't want that nor did he want to be cremated. My husband wants me to have his skull taken from his body and cleaned. Then he wants that skull put on the mantelpiece in the living room, the rest of his body he wants sent to one of those places that makes the gems out of bodies and made into two blue diamonds. He then wants those gems…
KAYLA: I didn't know that that was a thing
SARAH: Yeah. He then wants those gems to be put in the eye socket of the skull to look like eyes
KAYLA: Hell, yes!
SARAH: Then he can watch the family home and be passed down through the generations
KAYLA: I mean, it's pretty good. Like freaky for you, but imagine three generations from now they still have the skull
SARAH: That’s so fucking cool
KAYLA: Like that’s so good, that’s so good.
SARAH: And then you can like say hi to your husband every morning, you can be like…
KAYLA: I mean, it’s really good, do they let you keep your… like… are there rules about that?
SARAH: I mean, it's your body, as long as it's not like a like an active investigation
KAYLA: A biohazard?
SARAH: Or a biohazard.
KAYLA: I’m just thinking of like, I don't know, sometimes when you like go to the dentist or the doctor and you're like, can I keep that? And they're like, NO!
SARAH: I feel like if it's like a dead body, like, they'll try and make it work because they're dealing with grieving people
KAYLA: Are there rules about that though? Like…
SARAH: Especially if the dead person was like, this is what I want
KAYLA: I guess if it's in the will, yeah. Okay, I'm just thinking, because usually people like cremate, they put in the cemetery, whatever. If I wanted to be like… I want to take this body home and bury it in my backyard, is that allowed?
SARAH: Um…
KAYLA: Because then it's a thing of like if someone finds it later and then they're like, ah, a dead body buried here, I'm scared.
SARAH: It might depend on where you live, there might be like local laws about that
KAYLA: I'm just like, am I allowed to do anything?
SARAH: I mean, you can do anything, the question is whether there are consequences
KAYLA: I just like, are there laws around like you can't be doing that with a dead body?
SARAH: I don’t know
KAYLA: Even if it's like a kosher dead, like, died of old age
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But doesn't want to be cremated or buried. Like, am I allowed to throw a body in the ocean? Not in a suspicious way of like the mob, but like genuinely…
SARAH: You just got to put a note on it that says, this was on purpose…
KAYLA: Right, this was on purpose
SARAH: Look, this is the will
KAYLA: Like…
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: Because it's not like you can leave a dead body out in the street
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Where are you allowed to put a dead body?
SARAH: I was listening to Dear Hank & John recently and there was a question…
KAYLA: Hank would know the answer to that
SARAH: Um, he would look it up. There was a question, this woman was like, I live in a really old house, the house was built in 1886
KAYLA: Dang!
SARAH: There is a tombstone in my backyard for a baby that died in 1885
KAYLA: Oh! Haunted!
SARAH: And they were like, it's in like kind of a weird place
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And OP was like, can I move it?
KAYLA: Can I move it? Yeah
SARAH: And she was convinced that it was like just a headstone, because she was like, well, it was from before the house was built, like, maybe they just like… it was just commemorating. And like John and Hank were like, there's a body in their yard
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Don't move it, there's a body in your yard.
KAYLA: That's tough
SARAH: And like at this point, if it's from 1885, it's fully, you know
KAYLA: Yeah, there's not really a body
SARAH: But they were like, either… I was like, well, they may have buried it before they built the house
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, they lived there but they just… they were rebuilding a house or like… whatever.
KAYLA: Yeah, they owned the land but hadn't…
SARAH: Right. Or they reinterred the body when they moved in
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Because also it… the child had died like a year before so, like… it’s not like it was like, oh, this is…
KAYLA: I think you could maybe move the headstone to a more convenient location but don't… so, it's not going to maybe be directly over the body, but like keep it in the yard
SARAH: I think you still have to mark the body somehow
KAYLA: Yeah, I think so
SARAH: Like, I feel like it's disrespectful to not have a clear indication of where the actual body is
KAYLA: Well, it's also again from like a say someone's doing yard work…
SARAH: Exactly
KAYLA: And then they suddenly dig up a surprise body then the police are going to get called and it's going to have to be a whole thing
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Well, that's tough
SARAH: On this thing, it's like one of those… there's like a meme of a guy wearing a thinking cap that's like, ‘this fucking sucks, actually.’ And then it's an arrow that says, “literal coolest thing ever” and it's a skull with legs and socks.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And diamonds for eyes; one of them is green, one of them is purple. And a tiny, tiny bowler hat on top of a skateboard
KAYLA: See, that's fun too, is you could dress the skull up for holidays.
SARAH: Yeah, you could put a hat on it
KAYLA: Put a little Santa hat on
SARAH: Sun… Well, no, there's no nose, sunglasses… No, but like sunglasses...
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You couldn't balance it.
KAYLA: You could figure it out
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You could put like a little party hat on for his birthday
SARAH: Noses really are just like cartilage, huh?
KAYLA: Um, nose bone, a little…
SARAH: Nose bone
KAYLA: It's just like… because there is… if you look at a skull, there is a little bit there that sticks out
SARAH: Yeah, but it doesn't stick out, the sticky out part is all cartilage
KAYLA: Not here, the bridge of your nose is a bone
SARAH: But where does it stop?
KAYLA: Probably where you feel it stop.
SARAH: I can't feel it… oh, it's right here
KAYLA: We're both…
SARAH: We’re both scratching our noses. It’s down pretty far though.
KAYLA: Like, you can feel where the bone stops and it's just the cartilage making the holes, like here on the side
SARAH: I think maybe I've gone down too far, it doesn't matter
KAYLA: I think you should let him do the skull
SARAH: Yeah, I think that's great, I think you should do it, I think it’s cool
KAYLA: I think maybe… especially right after he died… you know when you're in mourning, maybe you don't put it on the mantelpiece if it's tough to look at, but like…
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I think over time…
SARAH: Keep it in the family…
KAYLA: And especially for the future generations, it'll be very good
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You just have to make sure around Halloween time you don't get it confused with a fake skull
SARAH: I think it'd be kind of hard to confuse it with a fake skull
KAYLA: Well, for her, yes, but again in future generations they could maybe forget what this…
SARAH: Yeah, they could be like, oh, this is really convincing
KAYLA: You're going to forget exactly what this skull is and then suddenly grandpa Joe is just mixed in with the Halloween box
SARAH: Yeah, that's fair.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: This next one, I'm not going to join things specific from it, but I just found it and I think it's delightful. It's a reddit sub called r/treelaw
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: It's stories about Tree Law
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Where they're discussed, but no legal advice is given
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: And it's just about like disputes about trees and property
KAYLA: Okay, yeah
SARAH: So, if anyone feels like giving that a peruse, it could be fun, but there's… I don't have anything that's like, we need to do this one.
KAYLA: Okay. I recently heard a story about Tree Law where someone was talking about how they got in trouble because they lived, like behind their… like, they had their house, their backyard and then on the other side… like, behind their backyard was like a school and their property, and there was a fence, and there was trees on the school side of the fence that I guess annoyed them. So, they hopped the fence and like chain-sawed the trees and then the school obviously came knocking on their door and was like, hello!? And I was being told the story and I was like, yeah, did you not like… you hopped a fence. Like, were you not…
SARAH: You can cut anything that leans onto your property
KAYLA: Leans over. But I was like, what did you think was going to happen? You hopped. Like, it's not like it was an arbitrary, oh, I didn't know that was the property line
SARAH: You jumped the fucking fence
KAYLA: No, no, there was a fence. So, that's my Tree Law story
SARAH: Okay. Well, this one is going back to cis, hetero sex expectations. Are you ready?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: It's in r/Marriage. I feel relieved that my husband stopped initiating sex
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: My husband is 43, male and I'm 42, female and we have two kids 12, female, 15, male. We have very different sex drives, that's a problem. He wants sex far more often than I do and this has been an issue for years. For a long time, every night felt tense to me when he'd initiate, I'd immediately feel so stressed because I knew there were only two outcomes; I'd say no and hurt him or I'd say yes when I really didn't want to and feel resentful afterwards. Even though he was calm about rejection, the disappointment was always there and I carried that guilt around constantly. After years of this pattern, he stopped initiating altogether and honestly I felt relieved and I didn't realize how much the anticipation alone was affecting me until it was gone; I could go to bed without bracing myself, I could relax around him without worrying that a hug or cuddle would turn into something I wasn't ready for, the pressure finally stopped. People need, just as I believe, you should live together before you get married.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: You need to ensure that your sex drives, your libido, whatever, are compatible.
KAYLA: I don't even… I don't know if I’ve… like, I don't know that they need to be compatible…
SARAH: Or if they're not compatible, you need to just be able to… you need to be prepared to deal with it
KAYLA: I think you just need to be able to talk about it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like, I don't think… like people… it's I think probably very unlikely that two people are going to have exactly compatible sex drives, whatever
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And especially if sex isn't that important to you, it's like maybe not number one on the list to like look out for in a relationship. But you need to be able to communicate about it, like, if she's feeling that tense every night, like that needs to be something to communicate. Of like, hey, I know this is something you really want, I'm not really there and it makes me feel guilty and I know you feel hurt, like you need to be able to sit down and talk about that.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because clearly everyone is having a certain type of feeling about it and both people are like valid in that. Well, you have to be able to talk about it
SARAH: Yeah, there's a lot of people in the comments basically saying that like a lot of men want a woman with a high libido, but then they also want like a virgin. And it's like, if you want someone who matches your libido then like maybe you do want to get with the person who you deem to be a slut because she has fucked too many men
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You know why she has fucked men? Because she likes fucking
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But then there's also one that says, that's not what they want, they don't want a high libido woman, they want to have sex on demand. They want you to never say no when they want just like how it was in the past and they don't care if we enjoy it as long as they get what they want.
KAYLA: I don't know, like, I mean… I think maybe in broad strokes, yes, I don't know, like…
SARAH: In broad strokes, yeah
KAYLA: Who knows about this specific man?
SARAH: In this specific situation like who knows? But…
KAYLA: Yeah, but I mean, I think that is… the struggle of women are supposed to be both submissive and non-sexual but also sexual when you want them to be
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And then men are supposed to be always sexual, which is just not great for either side that they are painted in that way
SARAH: Yeah. This person is like, you can never make me feel bad for men dead bedrooms because 99% of them do this to themselves. Men love the idea of women who are virgins, puritans or have low sex drives because they tend to sleep with less people and then act surprised she doesn't turn into the high libido sex goddess they wanted but didn't marry because they think she's a slut
KAYLA: Yeah, I think and I've said this so many times, I just think that because our culture is in some ways so sexually free and in others so prudish, that there's a lot of discussions about like, okay, you… and maybe some of it is religious too, because if you think about like, if you get married in the catholic church, they make you go through marriage counseling. And there's a lot of discussions about like, okay, are you compatible in this way? Like, how would you want to raise your children? Like…
SARAH: Not to bring up John Green again, this keeps happening, I don't mean to do this, but he has talked about, because he… he is episcopal, but he… I don't know if he got married in a catholic church, he was… they were forced to do that sort of marriage counseling for them to get married. And one of the questions was they had like the engaged people stand back-to-back and be like, okay, raise your hand if you want kids, raise your hand if you don't want kids and he said that he and his now wife were the only couple there who had actually discussed it
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, some of them did agree but they hadn't ever discussed it before and then some of them like didn't agree and this is the first time you're figuring out. Like, what are we doing?
KAYLA: Yeah. Well, yeah, I think… like, there's discussion about that, about like how do you manage your finances…
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Yeah, like stuff like that with kids, like… but especially the religious context, I don't think they're ever going to be like, okay, and what is our sexual compatibility? Because you're not supposed to have had sex at that point
SARAH: Right. But then you get married and then you're supposed to have as many babies as possible, so you're supposed to have all the sex, but only missionary.
KAYLA: Yes! But I think even outside of religious context, there's a lot of talk about, okay, you're compatible in this way, in this way and this way and there's not discussions about like, okay, are you compatible sexually? And is it a deal breaker if you're not and how do you communicate about it?
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Because obviously not every incompatible trait, sexual or otherwise it's going to be a deal breaker for everyone
SARAH: Is a deal breaker, yeah
KAYLA: But you have to be able to work it out
SARAH: You have to be able to talk about it
KAYLA: For sex and everything else
SARAH: Yeah, otherwise, you're just going to end up resenting each other
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Am I the asshole for dumping my boyfriend because he chose a dead guy over my family?
KAYLA: What the heck!?
SARAH: I female, 27, have been with my boyfriend, male, 29, for nine months. Four years ago, his childhood best friend died. Every year on the guy's birthday my boyfriend checks out of reality, he takes a day off work, hikes a trail alone and turns his phone off. My dad's 60th birthday fell on that exact day. I booked a massive family dinner months ago and told my boyfriend he needed to skip his mountain ritual this one time
KAYLA: No!
SARAH: He flat out refused telling me his dead friend came first. I told him he was being pathetic living in the past…
KAYLA: What!?
SARAH: And that sitting in the woods wouldn't bring the guy back, he still went. I had to sit at dinner alone and lie to my parents. I was so humiliated that while he was gone, I cleared all my stuff out of his apartment, blocked his number and ghosted him. My sister even texted him calling him a heartless psycho for choosing his dead friend over his living girlfriend.
KAYLA: What!?
SARAH: He hasn't even tried to reach out or apologize. Am I really the jerk for expecting a grown man to care more about his actual future? You have been together for nine months!
KAYLA: This cannot be real. I pray to God this isn't real, because what the fuck!?
SARAH: And if she really did block him and like he hasn't even tried, well, first of all you blocked him, so how…
KAYLA: So how is he going to reach out? But also…
SARAH: I if I were him, I would be like…
KAYLA: Thank God!
SARAH: Fuck you!
KAYLA: Yeah, I would have broken up with you first. Like, what the fuck!?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Also, like no discussion being like, you need to skip that this year
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like, no discussion of like, hey, could you do that and then this? Or like, how would you feel about? Blah blah blah. Like…
SARAH: Also, this person died four years ago, it's not like this person died 25 years ago
KAYLA: Right, yeah, it's still fresh
SARAH: Like, it's still relatively fresh
KAYLA: Yeah. And also, again, you've been dating for nine months, I am not… this is a ritual I've been doing for four years, I met you nine months ago. It's not even your birthday, it's your dad’s. Like, hello!
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That is batshit
SARAH: Also, I feel like that's a very… like, you can explain to your family like…
[00:40:00]
KAYLA: I feel like that is very explainable.
SARAH: That’s very explainable.
KAYLA: If someone told me that, I would be like, great, I'll never see you on my birthday
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Excellent.
SARAH: That's fine.
KAYLA: That's none of my business
SARAH: In replies someone was like, there are two types of ‘am I the asshole?’ One, looking for validation after curb stomping a bag of orphaned puppies. Or two having an existential crisis after accidentally mildly inconveniencing someone.
KAYLA: Yeah, it really is like that. I can't… like, I pray to God that's fake, like the sister piling on too. Like, what is wrong with you people?
SARAH: Yeah. I have one more.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Are you ready?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: This is from r/TrueOffMyChest. This person says, maybe too old, OP is 42, female, to get the ick, but my husband gave me one
KAYLA: Hmm
SARAH: So, I have been noticing that our neighbor's son 20, male, has been trying to flirt with me the past year or so. He seems to always be in the vicinity whenever I go to or back from work; the real Stacy's mom's situation
KAYLA: Love!
SARAH: Trying a small talk, giving me compliments, if I had bags with me he wanted to carry them. I can't for the life of me understand what we would have in common if he was just innocently chatting, I realized he probably has a crush on me. I told my husband this and his reaction was to literally laugh for five minutes.
KAYLA: Rude!
SARAH: Literally, ha ha ha ha ha. Why would he look at you when he can look at 20-something girls?
KAYLA: Ah! Rude!
SARAH: Yeah, that's a little more than the ick, I would say
KAYLA: That is so rude and also a misunderstanding of the Stacy's mom effect
SARAH: Yes. This person says, she should fuck the 20-year-old
KAYLA: Yeah. This is giving… um, what are they? From Stranger Things, the mom, like Mrs. Wheeler the mom, has like the little thing with Billy and her husband is just like a toad. He like is barely in the show, he doesn't even know his own children's name, just like the worst. I feel like he would also laugh at Mrs. Wheeler
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And be a poo about it.
SARAH: Yeah. This person says, what the fuck is her husband laughing at her for? He should be flattered a younger man is throwing himself at his wife.
KAYLA: That's what I'm saying, like, your wife is hot.
SARAH: That means you have a dime
KAYLA: Like you have a milf wife, like, why aren't you excited?
SARAH: Also, quote, too old, and she's 42. Yeah, 42 is not old
KAYLA: Yeah, that is not old, simply not old.
SARAH: Also, not enough people talking about the man implicitly saying 20-year-olds are who he'd be going for if he wasn't married
KAYLA: Ooh! Ah!
SARAH: He he
KAYLA: Hee!
SARAH: He he. Old people are very gross and delusional, the boy is just being nice to her, girls are also nice to men, it doesn't mean they want to fuck them, leave these kids alone.
KAYLA: What!?
SARAH: Okay, yeah, maybe but…
KAYLA: He's the one bugging her, she can't leave him alone.
SARAH: Are you saying that a 20-year-old can't have a crush on a 42-year-old?
KAYLA: Also, like…
SARAH: Old people? Like, old people. How old are you?
KAYLA: How is she supposed to leave him alone? He's the one that's constantly talking to her
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I think she would like to leave him alone
SARAH: This person's account does not say how old they are.
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: That's all
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
KAYLA: Stacy's mom…
SARAH: Has got it going on. Stacy was one of the names they were considering for my mom and then my grandma would have been Stacy's mom
KAYLA: Ugh, that would have been good.
SARAH: My mom is not a Stacy
KAYLA: No, but I've also heard that like your name affects how you are
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, maybe she would have been a Stacy.
SARAH: She would have become a Stacy
KAYLA: That'd be kind of weird, I can't imagine your dad married to a Stacy
SARAH: Yeah, that's crazy.
KAYLA: I don't think you would ever have been born if your mom was named Stacy
SARAH: Interesting. So, you think my mom could have become a Stacy but that my dad would never have married one?
KAYLA: I just… can you imagine your dad married to a Stacy?
SARAH: No!
KAYLA: No. So, like how would you have been born?
SARAH: I wouldn't
KAYLA: Right, that's what I'm saying
SARAH: Okay. Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Um…
SARAH: Are you Stacy's mom?
KAYLA: Are you Stacy's mom?
SARAH: Have you got it going on?
KAYLA: What… how are we communicating about sexual incompatibility?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: What can we be doing about this?
SARAH: Do you want your skull preserved and your remains made into diamonds?
KAYLA: Hmm. What is a unique thing that you would like to happen to your body? And if anyone here knows what is legally allowed to be done with a dead body?
SARAH: Please tell us
KAYLA: I don't want to know for nefarious reasons, I'm genuinely curious
SARAH: Me, when I'm looking stuff up for writing, I'm like, hey, FBI agent, please know…
KAYLA: This is giving us being like, what happens when they run out of room to bury the bodies? Do they stack them on top of each other? It's giving that
SARAH: It's giving
KAYLA: It's giving
SARAH: It's giving
KAYLA: Which I think then at some point someone did email us and was like, yes, they do then stack them on top of each other. I said, oh, thank you.
SARAH: Thank you for letting us know
KAYLA: So, if you're still listening, sorry
SARAH: Holler. Holler at you. Yeah, well, you can do those things now where your body… you become a tree
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: That's pretty fun
KAYLA: They have to mark those trees somehow though, there's a body in there
SARAH: Well, the tree kind of eats the body
KAYLA: That's nice.
SARAH: Also, like, being embalmed I know that's like standard at least in like the good old US of A
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But it takes so much longer to deteriorate, and it's like… I'm like, why the fuck? Just throw me in.
KAYLA: Do they… because I feel like embalming is for open casket because it makes you look better
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But do they embalm bodies that aren't open casket?
SARAH: That's a good question, I just go to exclusively open casket funerals
KAYLA: I can't remember if the last funeral I was at was open casket
SARAH: Do they embalm non-open casket?
KAYLA: I kind of feel like they might because… or else the body would start to rot and it would be stinky
SARAH: Right, yeah, okay, so, embalming is rarely mandated by law in the United States, but morticians often still embalm a body for a closed casket funeral, it preserves the body and slows decomposition which is necessary if there is a delay before burial or cremation or if the family wants a private family viewing
KAYLA: I mean, even if there's not a delay, I know funerals are usually obviously a very quick turnaround. But the decomposition starts immediately, like, you can't be too quick before things get a little bit stinky
SARAH: Yeah. It says morticians will skip embalming if requested by the family, if religious beliefs prohibit such as Jewish or Islamic traditions or if the family selects a direct cremation or a green burial. In many states including California if a body is not buried or cremated within 24 to 48 hours, laws require it to be either embalmed or refrigerated
KAYLA: I think that makes sense because it starts to become a biohazard at that point
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, I suppose that makes sense
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Well, aren't we learning a lot today?
SARAH: Not one of the recommended questions being like, has anyone ever woken up during embalming? Yes.
KAYLA: Um… okay
SARAH: There are rare highly publicized instances of people waking up on the embalming table or in body bags because they were prematurely pronounced dead
KAYLA: I don't like that, I don't care for that at all. Hmm.
SARAH: Okay. Um… What's your beef and your juice for this week, Kayla?
KAYLA: My beef is that. Um, my beef is when you have so many little hobbies and then you're like, I can't decide what to do. Should I read my book? Or should I do this craft? Or should I do this craft? Or should I watch this TV show? And then you can't decide so you end up just sitting and playing games on your phone
SARAH: Yeah, that’s... I mean, I don't have lots of hobbies, but I can relate to sitting and playing games on your phone
KAYLA: Yeah, which I suppose is another hobby
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It just feels less productive
SARAH: No, yesterday, I was scrolling, I was doom-scrolling so much.
KAYLA: Nooo!
SARAH: It was very bad. Very, very bad.
KAYLA: My juice is earlier this evening I went out to dinner with some friends in Chinatown and then we were like…
SARAH: On a Wednesday!? Crazy.
KAYLA: It was not my choice, but we had to work with other people's schedules. And then we finished dinner and I was like, what about some ice cream? That sounds kind of good. So, we were looking it up, not a lot of ice cream in Chinatown, they're not doing a lot of ice cream around there. So, then we were looking. And Chinatown is right next to downtown so you'd think, ah, the downtown of the city, certainly some sort of…
SARAH: Ice cream
KAYLA: Ice cream. No, bitch! So, then we were like, okay, there's this one like a 20-minute walk away, I guess we'll walk all the way over there like through downtown, through…
SARAH: Dedicated to ice cream
KAYLA: Yeah. Well, because at that point… you know. So, we're like, okay, we'll like we'll walk through the Boston Common, whatever. So, we're walking through the Boston Common and we're like, what's going on? They're like, I guess there was some random marathon or some 5k today. So, there was a bunch of like tents up and people pulling stuff down and whatever. And then in the distance we saw an ice cream truck, like set up for this event and there was like this young kid in and he was like just turning on the engine as we walked by and we were like looking at it and we were like, ah, do you think it's still open? And he had the window open and he heard us and he was like, yeah, I'll reopen.
SARAH: Oh my God!
KAYLA: So, he slid open the thing and he flipped back on the soft serve machine for us and we all got our ice cream. And soft serve, like, you can't find soft serve a lot around here, it's very sad
SARAH: Really?
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know why, there's just like not…
SARAH: I mean, I prefer hard ice cream
KAYLA: I do too, but sometimes…
SARAH: But sometimes you just want soft serve
KAYLA: You just want it and it's just like, I feel like none of the places have it. And so, it was just so… it was just a blessed time, that it was just there. Like, the kid was about to pull away, like, turn the engine on, he was about to leave. And we were like, please.
[00:50:00]
SARAH: Please!?
KAYLA: And he was like, yeah brother, and he turned the ice cream. Which the people at McDonald's would never do, turn the machine back on
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: So, I just felt very blessed and I said life is worth living
SARAH: I love that for you.
KAYLA: So, to that child, thank you
SARAH: Child!?
KAYLA: He looked like a teen, but I also don't do age as well. So, who's to say?
SARAH: Who’s to say? My beef is… okay, so… um…
KAYLA: Welcome to the podcast within the podcast about Sarah's medical drama
SARAH: Yes. Yeah, okay, so…
KAYLA: Sarah's anatomy.
SARAH: Let's begin. I have two tooth-related beefs.
KAYLA: Y'all, I saw a picture of these teeth, not good
SARAH: Okay, the first beef is when I was getting my root canal done, when they numbed me, I got really like anxious and like shaky. And I don't really get dental anxiety…
KAYLA: Mm, yeah
SARAH: So, I didn't really understand what was happening or why it was happening, but I was like maybe it's just a fluke because like this is a thing that I don't know, a doctor I've never been to, I don't know.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then I was yesterday getting my crown redone because they had to restart the whole process because I got a root canal, so, they were restarting the step one of the crown. And he numbed me and I immediately felt really anxious…
KAYLA: What the hell!?
SARAH: And like shaky. So, I'm like, okay, this is not an accident…
KAYLA: You're having some sort of reaction
SARAH: Like, something is happening
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, I googled it, it turns out a lot of times the anesthesia they give you like the lidocaine or whatever has a bit of epinephrine in it, like, the stuff that's in an EpiPen, and they have that in there to… something about, you don't bleed as much
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: But it's epinephrine, and so it can make your body…
KAYLA: Does it like give you like adrenaline?
SARAH: It gives you adrenaline, yeah. So, your body, my body, apparently…
KAYLA: Yeah, it’s like, whoa!?
SARAH: When I get this, it is like, whoa! I don't like this!
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Which just made me realize that, I mean, I've never wanted to be in a situation where an EpiPen has to be used on me
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: I do own EpiPens because I have to because I get my allergy shots
KAYLA: I think that in a situation where you need an EpiPen though, I don't think a bit of adrenaline would be a bad thing for you in that situation
SARAH: No, but the way I would feel afterwards, because like it lingers. Like, it's not like it just goes away as is the reaction is done, you know
KAYLA: Yeah, but also again in that situation I think… like, I think the reason you probably felt so jumpy is because in that situation you don't need adrenaline
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: In an EpiPen situation your body is going to metabolize the adrenaline in a more appropriate fashion
SARAH: That's fair, but it did make me quite anxious
KAYLA: That's fair. But… oh, you're also just like sitting still in a chair, like, that's just like not the situation you’d need adrenaline for
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, it probably feels like even worse
SARAH: But also, I don't ever want to have to use an EpiPen on myself because…
KAYLA: I mean, that's fair, that's fair. I'll do it
SARAH: Oh, okay. My other beef, everyone always talks about… they talk up how bad root canals are
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: They're like, ugh, a root canal, it's the worst thing you can experience
KAYLA: They really do
SARAH: Here's the thing, when I had my root canal done, I started out having pain and then I got the root canal done and the pain went away
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: And I said, this is great
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I am having a much worse time with the crown situation
KAYLA: I've also heard people complain about crowns a lot
SARAH: It is more painful. And I'm a little silly sally because the first time they did the crown process, afterwards it was… my mouth was painful, I got a pretty bad headache, I got like a headache that was like behind my eyeballs
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then I got… it was like light sensitivity, it was giving migraine
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And like I had to sleep it off, like there was nothing I…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, I took drugs, but then I had to sleep it off. I don't know why I expected that wouldn't happen.
KAYLA: Hmm
SARAH: The second time when they did literally the exact same procedure again
KAYLA: The exact same thing, that's tough
SARAH: But it did
KAYLA: Huh!
SARAH: But I googled it, I’ve been googling lots of things, and getting dental work can trigger migraines and stuff
KAYLA: That makes sense
SARAH: It's because like the TMJ like your mouth open and the lights and all this stuff. My mouth hurts
KAYLA: You guys, I wish y'all could see the pictures of these tooth stumps that I saw
SARAH: I took a picture when they had filed it down and were working on it before the temporary crown
KAYLA: There were no teeth left in that mouth, it was just two stumps!
SARAH: I have stumpy teeth
KAYLA: It was crazy, you guys
SARAH: Yeah, but no, the crown…
KAYLA: DM Sarah if you want to see a picture of those… no, I’m just kidding
SARAH: They were also… you know, they did the temporary crown and then they like made sure my bite was right because if your bite was not right then you can also get headaches and....
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And she put it in and it was pretty good, but then the doctor asked her to like add something, so, she added it. And she put it in and it was way worse
KAYLA: Oh!
SARAH: And I was like, huh!? Okay, so, like, here. And then so she sanded it down and it was a little bit better. And then I was like, it still needs a little bit more and so she sanded it down and then she put it back in and then it was way worse, suddenly. And I was like, well, this doesn't make any fucking sense
KAYLA: What the hell!?I don't love that.
SARAH: So, then she's sanding it down again and as she's doing that, I was like, huh, last time I found after they did the crown, the beginning crown procedure stuff, afterwards, my cheek was a little bit swollen, I think from where they injected the anesthesia and I kept accidentally biting my cheek. Like I had to actively think about not biting my cheek and sometimes physically pull my cheek away to make sure I didn't bite it
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s crazy
SARAH: And I was like, I bet I caught my cheek in my bite, and because I'm numb, I didn't realize
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, then I was like wait, hold on
KAYLA: Yank
SARAH: I yanked my cheek and I was like, oh, yeah, now that's fine. But then because I was all worried about that, I think one of the other two that they did, I think it might be a little too high. And I've been for the past 24 hours just going…
KAYLA: I had that when I got…
SARAH: I’m trying to… because I don't want to have to go back but I mean I will if I have to
KAYLA: When I got my last filling, they like do the thing where you bite down on like the contact paper and then they, you know, file it down, whatever
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And I had to go back and do it a couple of times and then by the end I was like, uh, I think it feels okay. And I also just was like, felt bad about continuing to ask. Which like, stop, why am I feeling bad? I'm paying them hundreds of dollars.
SARAH: No. The same. Like, I should have paid more attention afterwards, but I was just so grateful that I was like, oh we’ve figured out what the problem was
KAYLA: Yeah. But then there was… for a while it felt a little too high and it was like giving me a bit of jaw pain and now I think I've since just worn it down with my jaw clenching and I’ve fixed the problem by myself. But I was like man, why can't I just like advocate for myself and not feel bad for asking these people to do their damn job that I'm paying them to do?
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: LOL
SARAH: LOL. Like me at Pilates the other day when it was like hurting. And did I tell anyone?
KAYLA: No, of course not. Me at the nail salon being like yeah, that looks great, I love it, insane nail
SARAH: Yeah, but it might be a little too high, I might have to go back in, because it's only two weeks though before they give me the real one, so it's like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: If it's just a little bit, if I can tolerate it for two weeks…
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm telling you, just sleep without your bite guard one night, it'll fix itself, it's fine
SARAH: Incredible. My juice is that I'm going to a Heated Rivalry drag Pilates that is a fundraiser for gay people
KAYLA: What!?
SARAH: Okay, my co-worker told me about this.
KAYLA: What the fuck!?
SARAH: She was like, yeah, I'm going to Heated Rivalry drag Pilates…
KAYLA: What does that mean?
SARAH: It's at her like place that she normally does Pilates, which is not where I do Pilates, but it's a fundraiser, so, like you can just… like, anyone can do it, you don't have to, like, have it, whatever
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: And so, it's like it's being taught by drag queens
KAYLA: In drag
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: Is this Reformer Pilates or mat Pilates?
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: On the machines?
SARAH: Reformer, uh-huh.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: And I think there's going to be teams, I think it's going to be like a team Hollander and team Rozanov situation
KAYLA: Are they in drag as Shane and Ilya?
SARAH: I'm going to find out
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: And I was like, hold on, because like, it's on Sunday and I was like, I usually go to Pilates on Sunday, anyway
KAYLA: You might as well…
SARAH: I could just switch my normal Pilates out for this. And it's all… it's like a fundraiser
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: For queer, something
KAYLA: For gay
SARAH: And so, I was like, I guess I'll see you at the Heated Rivalry Pilates
KAYLA: Aww! I need extensive details on this
SARAH: And my co-worker was like, I'm actually really excited about this, she was like, you'll get to see the place I go to Pilates
KAYLA: Aww! Okay… I'm going to need a group chat with you me and [Bleep] because they're both also going to deeply need to know all of the details.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: So, I'm just going to need us to make a little group chat and then just get some like minute-by-minute details on what the fuck!?
SARAH: Sure. Unfortunately, I don't have any clothes that are Heated Rivalry-ish. I know my co-worker does because I bought one for her for Christmas
[01:00:00]
KAYLA: Hmm. Do you have any Canada or Boston merchandise?
SARAH: Well, my co-workers when they just came back from Banff, they got me a Banff shirt
KAYLA: Close enough?
SARAH: And then my other co-worker was like, yeah, we should have gotten it when we were like at the hotel, like, we should have gotten it from one of the stores there but we forgot, so, we just got it at the airport. And I was like, you weren't supposed to tell me that
KAYLA: Yeah, no, don't say that.
SARAH: That's not the detail that you were supposed to tell me
KAYLA: No, no, no
SARAH: It's okay, but you weren't supposed to
KAYLA: I'll have Heated Rivalry merch when I go to the Heated Rivalry Fenway game
SARAH: Aww!
KAYLA: The Red Sox Heated Rivalry night, you get either a Rozanov or a Hollander jersey, but you don't get to pick, which I think makes sense because I think most people in that context would probably pick the Ilya one because of the Boston of it all
SARAH: Yeah, because it's Boston. And then you can trade.
KAYLA: That’s true
SARAH: It's like when you… it's like at K-pop concerts when they have… a lot of times they'll have like a special photo card that you can only get at the concert if you have the membership and like you have to go to the little zone and then you wait in line and then you prove that you're a member and then they give you a photo card. But it's random pull so you get one member out of however many members. And so, then…
KAYLA: And then everyone does a trade
SARAH: And so, then there's a big trading situation
KAYLA: That’s fun
SARAH: And like there are ones that like people really want this one either because it's like… that's just a very popular member or like the particular photo is really good
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then people will be like I'm willing to trade two of this for one of this, it’s intense
KAYLA: That's funny
SARAH: That's all, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. You can tell us about your Heated Rivalry drag Pilates
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Apparently, there are Swagbucks, so
KAYLA: Oh, okay!
SARAH: I’m excited about that. I'm sorry, it just logged me out. I have to do a fucking push notification
KAYLA: Boooo!
SARAH: Confirm! You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your drag Heated Rivalry competition Pilates
KAYLA: Your saying of drag was so midwestern
SARAH: Really?
KAYLA: Draaaag
SARAH: Draaaaag. On our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you want to support us there and request a Stick It commentary and/or… what was the thing we said?
KAYLA: A bachelorette
SARAH: Mm, yeah, bachelorette content. Our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Alucard Zavertnik, Amanda Kyker, Ashley W, Bronwyn Herron, and Clark Fadoir. Our $10 patrons who are promoting this week are Clare Olsen who would like to promote @Impact_Frame. Danielle Hutchinson, who would like to promote Rainbow Pride Knits. Derick & Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face. And Elle Bitter who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators /srs. Our other $10 patrons are Eric, my aunt Jennie, Johanna, Kayla's dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Purple Hayes, Quartertone, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Sydney Price, Val, Alastor, Ani, Arcnes, and Benjamin Ybarra. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer. Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com. And Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com. And also, Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Changeling & Alex who would like to promote their company Control Alt Access (dot com). And Dr. Jacki, Dragonfly, my mom, and River who would like to promote this is our last Pride Month episode…
KAYLA: Happy Pride!
SARAH: And also, in between this episode and the next episode is my mom's birthday, everyone say, happy birthday, my mom! Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: Tune in next Sunday, for more of us in your ears. And until then, take good care of your cows
SARAH: Tell them, happy pride!
KAYLA: Happy Pride!
SARAH: You're proud of them
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]