Special Report: Live from the AroAce Capital of the World
KAYLA: Hey, what's up? Hello! Welcome to Sounds Real But Okay, a podcast where a bi-demisexual girl, that's me Kayla, brings you real news from the world of Sounds Fake But Okay. Today, a special report from the aro-ace capital of the world. Longtime listeners of Sounds Fake But Okay remember it as a historic event. On May 25th of 2020, Sarah and I became landowners. Specifically, we became the proud owners of one square foot of land in Ireland and named it ‘The Aro-ace Capital of the World.’ Let's listen back to how it happened.
SARAH: Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, not yesterday, several hours ago, Sarah texted me and said, we are going to do a silly episode, it's going to be, ‘What to do when someone comes out to you as acespec?’ Or… I'm adding arospec, because I know that's what you meant.
SARAH: Yeah, that is what I meant.
SPONGEBOB VOICE: 30 minutes later.
KAYLA: I think you could… there's this… I think it's in Ireland, there's just like wide expanses of land and someone will sell you like a square foot of it and you can say you like own land in Ireland. So, you could give them that and say it's the ace capital of the world or the aro capital of the world or the whatever, the aspec of the capital of the world.
SARAH: Oh, wow, that’s stunning.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: That's beautiful.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SPONGEBOB VOICE: One week later.
KAYLA: Unexpectedly, the part of last week's episode that just everyone really latched onto was us or anyone getting a piece of Ireland and listen, we've gotten the christening, the approval from the asexuality groups of Ireland. So, our next Patreon goal when we hit getting $300 a month from Patreon, we're going to buy a square foot of Ireland.
SARAH: And it's going to be the asexual, aromantic, demisexual capital of the world.
SPONGEBOB VOICE: Several months later.
SARAH: Do we have any announcements this week? Do we have anything to say?
KAYLA: Yes, I am… it hasn't happened yet. Well, part of it has happened, we hit our Patreon goal of $300 per month.
SARAH: We sure did.
KAYLA: And if you remember from many moons ago, the goal set for when we hit that was we would buy a square foot of Ireland and make that our capital.
SARAH: The asexual capital, the aspec capital of the world.
KAYLA: Yes. And the Irish asexuality Twitter said it was fine, they said it was okay that we did it.
SARAH: They condoned it.
KAYLA: They said it was allowed, and so did AVEN. So, I haven't bought it yet, but by the time this comes out, hopefully I will have actually. It'll be on Twitter and Instagram, I don't know. We're going to buy a square foot of Ireland. Then we should probably use our money to like transcribe our episodes, I don't know, something real. How inspiring, and to think, we did go on to use our money to transcribe our episodes, how responsible. Since our purchase in 2020, Sarah nor I have been able to visit the very beautiful aro-ace capital of the world, but this week, all of that changed. Let's go now to the source.
SARAH: Hello! It's me, Sarah, reporting live from the aro-ace capital of the world. I just want you all to know that there are cows here, they appear to have been upon our land and you can hear them in the distance, please hold. I hope you can hear that, there are also children playing, so, I don't know. But as we've learned today, sometimes we need to take good care of our cows and sometimes our cows take good care of us. Thank you for this special report from the aro-ace capital of the world in Ireland. Goodbye.
KAYLA: Wow, Sarah, that is incredible, cows right next to the aro-ace capital of the world, I'd love to hear their perspective.
SARAH: Hello, cows. Mooooooooo. They're just looking at me like I'm crazy. Mooooooooo. They're all just staring at me, they're not willing to communicate on this day, thank you.
KAYLA: That's too bad to hear, but still incredible. Even though we couldn't land an interview with the cows, how reassuring to know that sometimes our cows really do take care of us by overseeing our capital. And now a word from our incredible sponsors that made the purchase of this… Oh, dear, it seems like we're getting a breaking news report from Ireland, let's go back to Sarah on the scene.
SARAH: Hello, lovely listeners. I am here with breaking news from Northern Ireland, amatonormativity strikes again, it does not discriminate by continent. We just got to our nice little Airbnb at this place, my sister and my sister-in-law, their bedroom, what a nice, lovely view, rolling hills, how nice. My parents, their bedroom, what a nice, lovely view of rolling hills. My bedroom that has two single beds and therefore has to be my bedroom, view of garbage cans, rampant amatonormativity strikes again. And my mother tried to claim that, at least the last two nights, I had my own entire tower of a castle to which I say as an aro-ace person, is this not what I always deserve? Thank you.
KAYLA: Absolutely terrible news coming out of Northern Ireland, this is not the tone we hoped for for this special report. Is there any silver lining to this situation?
SARAH: Oh, but also there are cows here, which is exciting. Thank you.
KAYLA: What a terrible situation. Even within our own families and across the world, couples' privilege is still pervasive. We'll continue our investigations into this situation and keep you updated as we learn more. At the very least, we can be rest assured that once again, cows are taking very good care of us. Well, that's the end of our time slot here on Sounds Real But Okay. Thank you so much for listening, tune in next week to hear more of us in your ears on Sounds Fake But Okay. And until then, take good care of your cows. And remember, sometimes they may take good care of you. Good night.