Ep 363: Reddit Rabbit Hole (AITA) pt. 20
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, (that's me Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, ‘Reddit Rabbit Hole.’
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Oh, Corjina.
SARAH: Thank you. Oh, that's all you have to say?
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Okay. Kayla, do we have any housekeeping?
KAYLA: Um, not that I am aware of.
SARAH: Great, let's just dive the fuck in, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: Reddit.
SARAH: You know, yesterday I texted Kayla and I said, “is it allowed to do a Reddit Rabbit Hole the week after a Listener Lore?” Because my sister has been sending me a lot of Reddit posts.
KAYLA: And I said, “I think we can do whatever we want.”
SARAH: It turns out this is our podcast and there are no rules.
KAYLA: So.
SARAH: The only rule is do your best and have fun.
KAYLA: And we can't like should, you know?
SARAH: Right, shoulding is illegal.
KAYLA: So.
SARAH: So here we are. My sister has sent me a couple, very silly Reddit things in the past couple of days and then I have a couple more that I have collected from I don't know when.
KAYLA: Mm. Can I just say before we dive into this?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I, as you may recall, got engaged a couple of months ago and have finally begun wedding planning within the last like month or two.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: And I do feel like I am way more prepared because of these Reddit episodes.
SARAH: Because of Reddit.
KAYLA: I feel like we have read so many horror stories of people acting a fool that I am going into this and I'm like, “listen...” Like I'm going into this way calmer than I ever imagined because I'm just like, “you know?”
SARAH: Is there anything in specific that you're intentionally avoiding?
KAYLA: I think I am just being very cognizant of the heightened emotions.
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: Like I am aware that everyone has strong feelings about my wedding, even the people that are not me.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: And so, I am trying to, A, take that into account and tactfully deal with it while also being like, “well, it is my wedding.”
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: So
SARAH: Very fair. Look at her go, she's so emotionally mature.
KAYLA: Look at her go.
SARAH: Thanks to Reddit.
KAYLA: Thanks to Reddit. I was also telling someone recently, the nature of my job is so much more high-stress and dealing with like very serious things than I ever imagined, it would be when I took this job. And so now I'm like, “oh, someone is not dying or missing, I don't care.”
SARAH: Who cares? It's just my wedding.
KAYLA: Literally who cares? I have a very ‘who cares attitude’ these days because I'm like, “well, we're all still breathing, aren't we?”
SARAH: And I love that for you.
KAYLA: Thank you. We'll see if that attitude maintains when we get closer to the wedding. Anyway, those are my Reddit thoughts to begin us.
SARAH: All right. Give me a number one through seven.
KAYLA: Five.
SARAH: This one is a bit of a downer.
KAYLA: Next?
SARAH: Try again.
KAYLA: Six.
SARAH: This is from the r/Tragedeigh subreddit.
KAYLA: Ooh, with the bad spelling?
SARAH: With the bad name.
KAYLA: Someone was just talking in Discord the other day because they were listening to the Reddit episode where Raefarty came up and they were like, “everyone was reminiscing about Raefarty,” so this is very exciting.
SARAH: Raefarty, I hope you're doing well. So, my sister sent this to me, this post is only three days old.
KAYLA: Huge, breaking news.
SARAH: All right. Are you ready?
KAYLA: I can't wait.
SARAH: A friend is naming his upcoming daughter, upcoming daughter? That phrasing is funny.
KAYLA: That’s so silly
SARAH: A friend is naming his upcoming daughter, a combination of his grandma's name and where she was conceived.
KAYLA: Yes!
SARAH: I assume the daughter, not the grandma.
KAYLA: Yes! Yes! Perfect.
SARAH: All right. So, his grandma's name is Charmaine.
KAYLA: Great start.
SARAH: And the baby was conceived during a vacation in Trinidad and Tobago.
KAYLA: No!
SARAH: Would you like to take any guesses?
KAYLA: Okay. Charmaine and Trinidad and Tobago, Charmago. Okay, does it start with Charmaine or Trinidad and Tobago?
SARAH: It starts with Charmaine.
KAYLA: Charnadad.
SARAH: Charnadad? Honestly, that would be better than what this is.
KAYLA: Oh, no. Okay, what is it?
SARAH: Baby's super-unique and meaningful name that the happy couple are so set on…
KAYLA: I’m so scared, I’m clenching everything
SARAH: And we're so proud to announce, Chartrin.
KAYLA: Wait, but that doesn't...
SARAH: I think trin from Trinidad.
KAYLA: That's a stretch.
SARAH: They go on to say, “yup, little shardy.”
KAYLA: Yes. Raefarty and shardy.
SARAH: And that's not all, her middle name is another combo between the wife's mom's name and their favorite British royal.
KAYLA: What? Why? Why?
SARAH: The mother-in-law's name is Betty.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: The favorite royal is Princess Diana.
KAYLA: Byanna.
SARAH: By the end of this year, the world will be welcoming sweet little Chartrin Dayabetty.
KAYLA: That's… no. There is no way that's real, there is no way. Daya Betty, by the way, a killer drag name, a killer drag name.
SARAH: They said, “yes, people have raised concerns.”
KAYLA: Oh God
SARAH: But the couple are convinced these are completely utterly different words and nobody would ever mistake their unique name for Chart Latrine Diabetes, how dare you suggest such a thing?
KAYLA: Dayabetty is a drag name.
SARAH: And the top comment is, “well, I guess Little Shardy can be friends with Raefarty.”
KAYLA: Yeah, Little Shardy, Raefarty.
SARAH: This person goes, “I hear they have a legendary flow. I'm gassed for their upcoming release.”
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: Now, the Dayabetty is the one that makes me think, mm, maybe it's not real.
KAYLA: Yeah, the… Chartrin is like bad, but…
SARAH: Chartrin, I believe
KAYLA: Chartrin is bad, but I'm like, “yeah, people are doing things like that.” I think it's awful to name your child after where they were conceived.
SARAH: That's tough, that's real tough.
KAYLA: I think you are asking for them to be bullied.
SARAH: Also… Okay, okay, okay, I'm just going to say this, I was waffling on whether or not I should give this specific to this, I tangentially know someone whose name is their parents’ names combined.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: This person's name is Chernold.
KAYLA: First name, Chernold?
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: I don't know if I can get behind that decision.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Cheryl and…
SARAH: Arnold, I think, or like Harold or something.
KAYLA: Ew
SARAH: It's normal to me because I've heard it. But like the first time you're like, “oh, Chernold!?”
KAYLA: Chernold.
SARAH: But at least when this person was… when people would ask them as a child or as an adult, because people see Chernold and they're like, “what?”
KAYLA: What is that?
SARAH: They can say, “oh, it's my parents’ names combined.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: When Chartrin is asked that, they're going to have to say, “my parents fucked raw in Trinidad.”
KAYLA: And here's the thing, I have a friend who we know when they were conceived, and it's like a really funny story.
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: I will tell you this, we're not going to put this on the podcast. That is not… and I love that they shared that with us because it's fucking funny. But they never should have because we bring it up all the time.
SARAH: All the time
KAYLA: And so, you can't be giving that information to your child and the people around them because I am currently bullying someone because of how they were conceived, and that's not good, I shouldn't be able to do that.
SARAH: Oh, okay, wait, I have a comment from OP that says, “hopefully it is a troll, but this couple is not really the pranky type and they've already established that portmanteau names are their thing.”
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: “Their older child is thankfully far less tragically named J. Marie from the parents’ names, James and Mariana.” Not my preference, but not that bad either.
KAYLA: It's not that bad. No, that's…
SARAH: “But when they announced Chartrin, oh boy, this one I got to talk about.”
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: Okay, that makes me feel like this is them trying to prank people.
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Dayabetty? There's no way.
SARAH: That's really tough.
KAYLA: I am convincing myself that it's a joke because it makes me feel better.
SARAH: Yeah. Okay, this person says, “I want this to be satire. I want this to be a troll. I want this to be tragedy rage bait, but I also know a gal whose parents named her Shitanya.”
KAYLA: That's not that bad.
SARAH: Her name is legit shit on ya, pronounced with emphasis on the on, shit on ya.
KAYLA: Ah, okay, the way you pronounced it, I was like, “what's the problem?” But I see.
SARAH: Yeah, that's tough. There's a drag queen named Daya Betty.
KAYLA: I've been saying, a perfect drag name, I'm very glad that someone is using that. Yeah, I mean, I hope for the child's sake that it's a joke. But I also hope it's real because it's funny.
SARAH: Right. Oh, sorry, I just clicked on the r/Tragedeigh thing, and the first post is, it's like a plaque from… like someone sponsored like a bench or something.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: And it says it's from the Tran family. John, Mick Shirley, Mick Adeline and Mick Atlas.
KAYLA: No, Mick Shirley?
SARAH: Was the mom given a strange name of Mick Shirley and then they said, “let's give our children the mix?”
KAYLA: She was like, “I was bullied a lot as a child and I would like to pass that on.” Um, what?
SARAH: Also, no guarantee, but Tran is a Southeast Asian last name.
KAYLA: And Mick is not.
SARAH: So, imagine being an Asian kid named Mick Atlas Tran.
KAYLA: That's crazy.
SARAH: That's tough.
KAYLA: That's like me at 13 years old naming a character.
SARAH: Yeah, that's tough. Oh, no, Italy, but spelled like Tragedeigh, like I-T-A-L-E-I-G-H.
KAYLA: Nooooo. Were they conceived in Italy? Is that why?
SARAH: They were actually conceived in Vatican. Is sex even allowed in Vatican?
KAYLA: Great questions. I recently revealed to someone who wasn't really aware of like Catholicism, that priests can only be men, in the Catholic Church priests can only be men and they can't fuck, and they were shook.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And we were like, yeah, and that's not even in the Bible, the Pope could literally say, “just kidding,” but he won't.
SARAH: If you ever see a female person who calls himself a priest, it's because they're Episcopal.
KAYLA: Yeah. Catholicism is so silly.
SARAH: Okay. My sister sent me this one yesterday and she really wanted me to read it. And she gave me some… I didn't read it except for the like preview.
KAYLA: Uh-huh
SARAH: And she gave me some details that made me scared for my life of it.
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: But we will be reading it. The relevant to us fact is that this person is asexual, it has nothing to do with the story.
KAYLA: Oh, it’s just a fact.
SARAH: And my sister only found this out because she went on their account and like looked at other places they had posted.
KAYLA: Investigation
SARAH: Unfortunately, I think this is not the kind of ace-rep we want.
KAYLA: And… but you know what? We need to get to a point as a community where it's like, okay, and some of us are bad people, you know what I mean?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And that’s okay
SARAH: Okay. Are you ready?
KAYLA: I'm afraid, I'll say that.
SARAH: I did not wash my rear end until I was 19 years old, and it's beyond embarrassing. I'm just going to warn everyone right now, this goes into some detail…
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: So just like prepare yourself for that. If you're eating, stop the pod or stop the eating, you cannot be doing both at once. I was trying to edit the pod while I was eating dinner, and I had to stop.
KAYLA: What Reddit is this on?
SARAH: r/Hygiene, I have no idea how my sister found it.
KAYLA: Hygiene Reddit is so scary. Spooky.
SARAH: Okay, are you ready? It's kind of long.
KAYLA: I'm scared, I am.
SARAH: For some reason, I was never taught to wash my ass growing up.
KAYLA: And you know what? That's not your fault.
SARAH: It also felt, ‘weird’ to touch my own asshole with my bare hand so I did not. Loofah, why does the world not understand the joy of a loofah?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Now, I don't actually use loofah anymore, I use an African exfoliating net because they don't hold as many germs as a loofah.
KAYLA: Ah
SARAH: I like my African exfoliating net, I think it's good, I would recommend it, I bought it off TikTok. Stop knocking things over, Adderall. But I… they lather up so much. But why would you… I don't… why are you using your hands? A washcloth eats the soap, that's my beef with washcloths, it eats the fucking soap.
KAYLA: I am not a washcloth girl, I just know a lot of people who feel very strongly about their washcloth, so I'm not gonna take that from them.
SARAH: Anyway, okay, we're gonna continue. I just… I was like, “what do you mean it felt weird to touch your own asshole with your bare hands?” You don't have to!
KAYLA: Well, I mean, they weren't taught, so they thought they had to.
SARAH: You don't have to. Okay. Anyway. I think I felt that wiping the ass after shitting was good enough, and it felt okay to do it because my fingers were shielded by layers of TP.
KAYLA: Fair.
SARAH: We did not use washcloths in my household. Note, I am now 57.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And I have had a spotless annular vault for decades now.
KAYLA: Annular vault.
SARAH: Which is the only way I'm able to relate this tale of utmost cringe without collapsing in on myself.
KAYLA: Annular vault!
SARAH: Back when I was 18 and in the US Navy
KAYLA: Ooh!
SARAH: It seemed perfectly normal to avoid that area when showering. And yes, my devil's valley was a hot mess, I would…
KAYLA: Okay, this is so… okay, sorry, pause.
SARAH: It gets worse.
KAYLA: So, we're not… is it… and this is a person with a penis?
SARAH: Yeah, I believe so.
KAYLA: So, we're not washing the back butt. What? Are we washing the front butt?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Because this is making me worried that we're not doing, like, anything in that area and that's really yucky. I mean, it's already yucky, but…
SARAH: I was worried that this realization was going to come when they were having sex with a woman and then the woman was like, “oh, no.” So, like, at least maybe this is better, I don't know, we'll find out.
KAYLA: I mean, I'm just hoping to God that they're like a sex-repulsed ace to be honest or that they didn't start having sex until after they learned how to clean their butt.
SARAH: Yeah. So, the next sentence is horrifying…
KAYLA: Imagine them getting in the pool! Sorry.
SARAH: The next sentence is horrifying. It says…
KAYLA: She can't do it. She can't do it.
SARAH: It says, I would consistently get, ‘gooey’ back there…
KAYLA: No, no
SARAH: To where it felt like the molten curds of fecal gelatin would start sliding out of my shorts. Gooey? Why is it gooey back there? It's not even drying?
KAYLA: Clearly, you're not doing a good enough job wiping your ass.
SARAH: Wiping your ass
KAYLA: Like, there are other issues that we're having.
SARAH: This is just… Okay, so it was gooey back there.
KAYLA: We're gonna have to put some heavy trigger warnings on this episode.
SARAH: I know, that's why I said I wanted… I told you it got specific. Okay, so it felt like molten curds of fecal gelatin would start sliding out of my shorts.
KAYLA: No, you don’t need to say it again, you do not need to say that again.
SARAH: My solution to this problem was to ball up toilet paper…
KAYLA: Nooo
SARAH: And insert a kind of sanitary napkin in there after pooping. That's right, rather than simply wash my butt, I came up with what I thought was a genius solution of tucking wads of TP back there to tamp down the gooey factor. And hey, it actually worked. I did this often in high school, but now started doing it almost every time I shat. The gooey… the word gooey is really…
KAYLA: I do not understand how that is happening.
SARAH: Me neither.
KAYLA: I do not understand.
SARAH: This weird solution resulted in one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
KAYLA: Good. Good.
SARAH: I was wearing loose shorts…
KAYLA: Noooooo
SARAH: And wrestling around with one of my fellow sailors as one does…
KAYLA: Nooooo. Also, how is this guy not just reeking?
SARAH: Girl…
KAYLA: She must smell so bad.
SARAH: I'm stuck on gooey, I don't know.
KAYLA: I wish you wouldn't be.
SARAH: As one does. As we wrestled about with several other sailors cheering us on…
KAYLA: Gay
SARAH: My napkin plug popped out and fell to the floor. Instantly, everyone froze and went silent. We all looked at it, trying to determine what exactly we had here. It only took about 10 seconds, one side of the compacted tampon-sized wad was covered in brown rectal gel. See, I think it's gooey and gel, the consistency I'm imagining is like you need to see a doctor.
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: I am so deeply upset, this shouldn't be happening.
SARAH: Anyway, the other side was white and it has clearly been compressed within a crack of fetid nature. I do like this writing.
KAYLA: At this point, it sounds like he's just sticking it up his ass. Like, have you considered that the reason it's covered in shit is because you stuck it up your asshole?
SARAH: My wrestling buddy looked at me with shock and said with a deadpan expression, “why do you have an ass tampon?”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I had no good answer. Lucky for me, this incident occurred while I was in Radar School, so I only had to endure the jokes and nicknames for a few weeks before I transferred to another school. I kept stuffing napkins up there like normal…
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: You kept doing it?
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: I kept stuffing napkins up there like normal, but made sure to wear snug fitting Jackie shorts at all times, problem solved. Fast forward to a year later, yes, folks, this gets even worse. We were stationed in Southeast Asia, a very hot and humid climate.
KAYLA: Oh, this is stinky.
SARAH: This is what, fucking Vietnam War probably? They're 57 now. Well, no, it's not, they're too young for Vietnam War, but could still… whatever, it doesn't matter. Cambodia? I don't know. My napkin plugs, made of cheap one-ply shipboard septic-friendly TP, would soak through with sweat and fecal curds, and I would have to replace them often. A hassle, but what else was one to do? Wash? Never occurred to me.
KAYLA: Wash your ass.
SARAH: Like, what does this guy think other people are doing? Like, if this is a problem that other people are having, wouldn't they make ass tampons? Like, use your brain. I started to feel an itch back there.
KAYLA: Noooo.
SARAH: The itch was mildly uncomfortable at first, but over a couple weeks it became maddening. One night, at a dance club in Singapore, all the sweat and movement had me on the brink of insanity with the itching and irritation, I began to feel actual concern for my well-being.
KAYLA: Oh, now?
SARAH: I've been concerned for your well-being the whole time.
KAYLA: Just now we're concerned.
SARAH: Sorry, I just read ahead. While in the club bathroom, I pulled down my pants and looked over my shoulder into the mirror to see what was happening back there, what I saw shook me to my core.
KAYLA: I'm so scared.
SARAH: My entire ass was covered in red, welted sores
KAYLA: Good!
SARAH: Some weeping and scratched open. I looked like some kind of disease victim.
KAYLA: Because you are.
SARAH: Even more concerning was that the closer it got to my anus, the rash got even more dense, red, and scary, the source appeared to be my brown place.
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: I had to open things up and take a peek, there was no choice here.
KAYLA: Right, yeah, in the public bathroom. Sure.
SARAH: Slowly, I parted my ass cheeks to gaze into my very own brown eye of Sauron for the first time in my life. My cheeks were almost stuck together from the broken, leaking sores and scabs. The very center, my poor rectum, was like the red eye of a very angry bacterial hurricane. Despite my tendency for denial, I immediately thought, I am going to die.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: It was like something you see in a medical textbook and ask, “who lets this happen to themselves?” The best description I could think of is severe second-degree burns which have been scratched open and smeared with human feces while leaking pus. The very next morning, I went to the doctor on the ship, I did not mention the whole napkin plug system, which I was very much afraid had contributed to my current issue, no fucking kidding.
KAYLA: Oh, really?
SARAH: I just said, “I have an infection back there, I think.” Now, on a navy ship, there's a real doctor, an officer, but the person who preps you is often just a regular dude like you who is a basic med tech right out of boot camp. I will never forget his reaction, when I bent over the exam table…
KAYLA: I would have thrust.
SARAH: When I bent over the exam table and pulled down my underwear, God bless him, he tried to play it off like no big deal, but I heard him stifle a deep gag and he immediately left the room, his face pale as death. The doctor, a seasoned navy veteran, finally came into me on full display, and even he was like, “oh, oh boy, oh boy,” as he gazed upon the magnificence of my rotting corpse-like rectal zone, he gave me a tub of antibacterial ointment and told me to keep the area very clean, which I immediately started doing, and since the ointment had to be placed directly on the whole area, I got very used to touching my most secret area, and soon I was just like all of you, a normal ass-washing, ass-touching, non-infected man. If you are a young or even an old person reading this with issues regarding personal hygiene, please learn from my lesson, please.
KAYLA: I…
SARAH: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, wait, wait, wait, wait, our question is answered. So many people have asked me this question, and I'll go ahead and add the answer here for posterity, no, I was not a virgin during this situation.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: I was deflowered at the age of 17 and had relations several times into my 18th year. Yes, this was during napkin plug years, and one time, while undressing for some lovemaking, my napkin plug fell out and landed on the floor of my girlfriend's bedroom. Normally I would have de-plugged in the restroom prior. I was able to kick the thing under my clothes swiftly and avoid conflict. Also, I'm still friends with that girlfriend, I realize that she is probably going to read this and experience a kind of waking nightmare, for that, I am sorry. One more, one more edit. Many people are asking, why did you still have so many fecal curds if you were wiping?
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: Well, for one, I was doing a bad job wiping.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: How do you… how do you… how?
KAYLA: There is no way to be… the only way to be… I'm so sorry, everyone. The only way to be bad at wiping is to like just give up. Did you just give up? Like, he just gave up. He like did it once and was like, “certainly, that's enough.”
SARAH: For two, even a small fecal curd, when left swaddled within the nest of my annular hair…
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: Can be compressed and pancaked into a very large fecal footprint. If one is only wiping, not washing, these little nuglets tend to accumulate and get smeared into the matted hair. I never noticed any bad smells or was ever called out for it, and my friends at the time would 100% have told me if I stunk like shit. I also had a girlfriend who did severely go down on me on more than one occasion and nary a complaint was made.
KAYLA: No
SARAH: This is a testament to the effectiveness of the napkin plug system, and perhaps to my genius?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: This is why I don't swim in public pools. This comment says, “it's my fault for being literate, gooey will be forever branded into my memory.”
KAYLA: I am so upset.
SARAH: You could not pay me to admit this.
KAYLA: No
SARAH: I would be on my deathbed and you could not pay me.
KAYLA: I have never wished more that bidets were just like… I've never used a bidet, they scare me, kind of, but I wish now that they were required by law.
SARAH: Yeah. And I'm sure this is even more horrifying to people who live in places where bidets are standard.
KAYLA: Because they're like, “what do you mean you don't wash your ass?”
SARAH: Because they're like, “what the fuck are you talking about?”
KAYLA: I'm so sad.
SARAH: Everyone, please wash your butt.
KAYLA: I'm so sad.
SARAH: Give me another… just a number.
KAYLA: One, I guess?
SARAH: Great. Am I the asshole for being furious about my neighbor's midnight woodworking hobby?
KAYLA: I'm still so mad, I need a second.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I need this, I actually need a second.
SARAH: Take a deep breath.
KAYLA: I'm just like sad, I think. I think it made me sad.
SARAH: I was really upset by the mention of hairy ass. I just like… I don't think about asses a lot.
KAYLA: Right.
SARAH: And the hair… Mmm, no.
KAYLA: Maybe let's not talk about it anymore.
SARAH: Am I the asshole for being furious about my neighbor's midnight woodworking hobby?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I live in a quiet suburban neighborhood where most people keep to themselves except for the guy next door, 50s, male, who has decided 1 AM is the perfect time for his DIY projects.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: For three months straight, I've been jolted awake by power saws, hammers, and what sounds like a full construction crew coming from his garage. When I finally confronted him, he said, “sorry, you can't appreciate craftsmanship.”
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: “I work night shifts and this is my creative time.” If you work night shifts…
KAYLA: Wha? What?
SARAH: Is this you working night shifts?
KAYLA: What do you mean I work night shifts?
SARAH: Because like if you work night shifts, then you would be at work.
KAYLA: Go to work then.
SARAH: I think he's maybe saying that this is his night shift, because he’s working
KAYLA: Is he like getting up, woodworking for an hour, and then going to work? This is his like morning routine?
SARAH: I suggested soundproofing or daytime projects, and he scoffed. “You millennials and your noise complaints.”
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: “Maybe try some earplugs.” Also, I'm sorry, the man is in his 40s, he's barely a Gen X.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like that's a young Gen X. The HOA won't do anything because technically noise ordinances don't start until 2 AM.
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: My partner… that's wild.
KAYLA: What is the point of an HOA?
SARAH: It's the weakest HOA I've ever heard of.
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: My partner says I'm overreacting…
KAYLA: Wrong
[00:30:00]
SARAH: But I haven't slept properly in weeks. Am I the asshole for filing a formal complaint with the city, or should I just start blasting polka music at 6 AM to make a point?
KAYLA: Not the asshole at all, that is wild. And what is the point of an HOA if they're gonna have 2 AM rules?
SARAH: I know
KAYLA: Last night, the very last night, I was jolted awake at 2 AM by screaming from the apartment above me. And at first, I thought that the children who live above me, because it's a group of college guys, I thought it was them like having a fight. And I was like, “great.” And then I'm pretty sure they were yelling about a video game. And I learned today at work that there was a World of Warcraft raid late last night. So, my coworker was like, “I bet they were playing WoW.” And I was on the verge of many things. But that was one night.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So...
SARAH: Yeah, that's tough.
KAYLA: Not the asshole.
SARAH: Yeah. The reason this came across my feed was because someone was like, “AU idea.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: A beautiful meet-cute.
KAYLA: A beautiful meet-cute, because then you find out his wife died, and so he's tragically woodworking because he can't sleep or whatever.
SARAH: I'm sorry, you think this is straight?
KAYLA: He could be bi, you biphobic bitch.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I was more thinking just like, he's obnoxious, but in a charming way.
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: Okay. Let's do one more, give me a number.
KAYLA: Three.
SARAH: Oh no. Oh no, this has been deleted, I need to see if I can find it.
KAYLA: Oh, tragic.
SARAH: Unfortunately, it's also about poop.
KAYLA: Okay, we can't, I actually refuse.
SARAH: Okay. What do you mean that page doesn't exist? Go fuck yourself. This one is a TikTok, which I didn't want to do because it's a TikTok. Would I be the asshole if I refuse my brother-in-law who requested that I temporarily move out of my house?
KAYLA: Huh?
SARAH: My wife and I have been married for 20-plus years, dating since we were 16. Before the age of 21, I was a degenerate, I cheated, got in trouble with the law…
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Was abusive, never physical, but definitely verbal.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: I was horrible, this woman never left my side.
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: Stockholm syndrome.
KAYLA: Ugh, this is the worst episode we've ever recorded.
SARAH: The day we found out she was pregnant, it's like a switch flipped in my head. My wife kept our babies, against her family's wishes, they wanted nothing to do with me, and I don't blame them, her parents and siblings basically disowned her. And after that, I completely turned my life around. Like, good for you, but also, what the fuck? I married her, went back to school, got a job, had another wonderful kid, got another degree, and started a business. Okay. I made sure that she never needs to work a day in her life. My life now revolves around making hers easier. We just renewed our vows last year. Time passed, and my wife has made amends with her family. But they, to this day, don't acknowledge me. Again, I don't blame them.
KAYLA: I mean, you know, yeah.
SARAH: My wife's family lost their childhood home when she was around 13. When her parents divorced. Oh, I thought they meant like it burned down. No, their parents got divorced and they had to sell the house. It has been in her family for generations, and my wife has always wanted to own it again. Over the last decade, I've kept tabs on it. About three years ago, the house went up for sale, and we bought it. My wife and I have been living there ever since. Our kids are in college, so it's just the two of us, and life has been very peaceful. Last month, my father-in-law died. Now my mother-in-law is alone and needs a new place to stay. One of my wife's sisters never left the house or got married, and she lives with and takes care of my mother-in-law full time. None of my wife's siblings can afford to take them in currently. My wife and I had a great idea, my mother-in-law and a sister could move into our house. It was their home once, so it would be familiar. We have more than enough space and funds to support the both of them, very comfortably.
KAYLA: Okay, rich.
SARAH: I thought it was a great opportunity for me to improve my relationship with the both of them. As well… as well, as well.
KAYLA: As well
SARAH: Recently, I got a call from my brother-in-law. He liked the idea, he thinks it's best-case scenario for everyone, except he has one condition, all the siblings want me to move out as long as their mother is in that house. They do not want to deal with my presence whenever they want to visit their mother, they also don't want to feel under my roof. I was ready to say no until he said that him and his siblings had to spend years of their growing up dealing with the fallout of their parents losing their oldest daughter to me, the last thing that I can give her is to let her mother have her kids around peacefully in the house. In their defense, my wife's parents did become crazy strict on the rest of the siblings after my wife left with me. We're all in our 40s now, they don't care if my wife stays with me or lives with me, they just want me out. The family is planning to place my mother-in-law in a nursing home when her health deteriorates, which we're guessing will be in about a year or two. They're not trying to claim ownership of the house. I trust my wife and her family on that, they just don't like my presence and they want me to live somewhere temporarily while they take care of their mother in the last few years of her life. On one hand, I want to laugh at how ridiculous this request is, on another, maybe I owe it to that family. Okay, I think that's the whole thing. Basically, they want him to move out of his house.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So that their mother, who he offered to house at the house, which he paid for because his wife doesn't work because he does everything for her.
KAYLA: Yeah. That is my main… like, listen, I get hating him because it sounds like he was a real fuck.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But it has been a very long time, and also, he bought this house.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: Like he is the one that kept tabs on it, it sounds like he makes the money, if not all of it, most of it.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like…
SARAH: And he's not just offering to take in the mother-in-law, he's also offering to take in his sister-in-law.
KAYLA: And it sounds like she does… Does the sister work?
SARAH: I don’t know
KAYLA: Like the way he's talking about it, he's also like providing for them. So, here's my question, he moves out, say, where is his money going? Is he still paying for them to live there?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: People in the comments are saying that they're trying to get squatters’ rights.
KAYLA: Oh, mean, yeah. Like at a certain point, because like this couple has stayed married, their kids are in college, they just renewed their vows, like clearly their marriage is going well.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: At some point as the family, don't you just have to accept that like this is what your daughter chose to do?
SARAH: Yeah. Do I think she should have stayed with this man? No.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Like I'm glad he changed when he found out that she was pregnant, but the fact that it took that for him to change is upsetting.
KAYLA: Yeah. Wrong.
SARAH: However, we're here now, okay?
KAYLA: Yeah. Whether we like it or not, here we are.
SARAH: Here we are. Ugh, girl. This person just said, “they'll accept your money, but not your presence,” which… mm, yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah.
SARAH: I'm really curious about the wife's thoughts on this.
KAYLA: Yeah. Is the wife just kind of like sitting back and letting this all happen? Like…
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Because this also like, to me, it feels very demeaning to the wife as well to be like.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because obviously something did happen to her. Right? Like this guy seemed like he was a piece of shit.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: But also, she is actively choosing to stay and be in this relationship and it seems like they are continuing to treat it as if it’s just…
SARAH: And supposedly he has made amends with the family. Like...
KAYLA: Well, I mean, clearly not.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah. I don't know about that, I would be really interested to understand what their kids’ relationship is with the wife's family. Like, are they chill with the kids?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: The kids must know that like the relationship isn't good.
SARAH: Yeah. That is interesting, an interesting question.
KAYLA: Because does the dad not go to holidays? Like he doesn't… It seems like he doesn't.
SARAH: Does he go to holidays and just sit in the corner by himself?
KAYLA: Yeah. Because it seems, you know, they don't want him around. So, what is… what are we doing?
SARAH: Also, the argument that like, we deserve to have time in this house because you took our childhood away from us because you took our sister away from us and they became more strict after, what the fuck are you talking about?
KAYLA: Here's the thing, I…
SARAH: Get over it. That sucks, get over it.
KAYLA: There is a person in my life who I would put in the position that like this family is putting this man. Like there is someone from my past that I'm like, this seems like a relatively equivalent situation. I hate that man. I don't think I would demand to live in his house.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: I don't think it goes that, you know?
SARAH: Also, I'm sorry, if you're the ones in need…
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And no one else is able to help you, who are you to put asterisks and limitations on the way that that help comes to you?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: It would be one thing if it were like, these people are horribly racist and homophobic and like, you don't want to live them.
[00:40:00]
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like that I get. But like, you can't instill… you can't be like, “well, I require this for my life for the favor that you're doing me.”
KAYLA: Well, because then why… at that point he could just be like, “well, no, I'm taking it back.”
SARAH: Yeah. You're out on the street, grandma.
KAYLA: Yikes. Was it that the other siblings couldn't take them in or wouldn't?
SARAH: Couldn't.
KAYLA: Okay. That's fine. If they were just like, “I don't feel like it,” then I was going to be like, “what are we doing?”
SARAH: Yeah. No, they couldn't.
KAYLA: That's fine, I suppose.
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: Wild. That was all deeply upsetting.
SARAH: Kayla, what is our poll for this week? What was the most upsetting thing about the butt story?
KAYLA: Do you wash your butt?
SARAH: Please wash your butt.
KAYLA: Should the man leave his house?
SARAH: No, he should not.
KAYLA: I think they all just need to live together and it would be good for them.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I think it would be good. And you know what? If they live with him and they still hate him and decide he's a shit guy, then like, you know, that's fine.
SARAH: Then they can spend the time living there and looking for other options.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Also, why do they have to move out of the place because the grandpa died?
KAYLA: Can't afford it maybe?
SARAH: I guess maybe. Well, but I don't know how pensions work when you die.
KAYLA: I don't either.
SARAH: Anyway, I don't know what our poll is, whatever. Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My juice is I finally got my hands on this season's shaped Kit Kat, which is a Count Dracula.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: Kit Kat started doing shapes, like how Reese's does shapes.
SARAH: We've talked about this in years past.
KAYLA: Yes. It's still relatively new, I don't think it has been a full year's cycle of holiday-shaped Kit Kats yet.
SARAH: Okay, well, we've talked about this.
KAYLA: Oh, I'm sure we have.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But my…
SARAH: You feel strongly about it.
KAYLA: I do, because I think, like how Reese's shapes taste better, Kit Kat shapes taste better, the ratio is good. But my grocery store, I can't usually find them, but they had a mixed Halloween pack of shaped, of pumpkin Reese's and Dracula Kit Kats, and it was great.
SARAH: Of pumpkin, Dracula, and…
KAYLA: That was it
SARAH: Just pumpkin and Dracula?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Oh, which one is better?
KAYLA: Well, I mean one is a Reese's and one is a Kit Kat, so like…
SARAH: Oh, Reese's, you said pumpkin Reese's and Dracula, I understand.
KAYLA: Oh, yes, a Reese's pumpkin and a Kit Kat Dracula, but they call them counts, I don't think they're allowed to call them Draculas, they're Kit Kat counts.
SARAH: A count.
KAYLA: A count.
SARAH: This is your reminder to everyone to look up The Count Censored on YouTube.
KAYLA: It is so good, a classic.
SARAH: It is so good
KAYLA: My…
SARAH: Oh, right, you still have things.
KAYLA: My beef is FedEx; this is an evil corporation. Okay, so remember last week how I was like…
SARAH: I'm just sitting back in my chair and I'm gonna let Kayla tell this.
KAYLA: Yeah. Let me tell you a story. So, remember how last week, I forget exactly what I said, but I was worried about this exact situation happening, that my engagement ring was coming back from being resized and I needed to sign for it. Good, obviously. Important and expensive. And I was worried it was going to be a shit show, because when Dean originally ordered this ring and it came from FedEx and he needed to sign for it, it took days for them to like find him to allow him to sign for it.
SARAH: I didn't know that detail.
KAYLA: Yeah, Dean was…
SARAH: And he was also trying to hide it from you at the same time?
KAYLA: Right. So, like the first conversation Dean and I had, like the post-engagement debrief was him like bitching about FedEx, because he was so stressed, because he was trying to hide it from me, he switched the address from like our address to our friend's address a couple of times, because he like worked from home specifically to sign for it, which like his company was not pleased with, so like he went through a whole thing. So, I knew…
SARAH: Did he tell you why he was working from home?
KAYLA: I don't think I knew that he worked from home some of the days
SARAH: Oh, wow
KAYLA: I can't remember, I don't think I actually knew, yeah. Anyway, so I knew this could happen. So, on Thursday of last week, I worked from home, I usually work from home on Thursdays anyway. So, I was like, “great.”
SARAH: I don’t want to go to work
KAYLA: I didn't, and I didn't. And so, on the first day, I wrote out a sign to FedEx and I said, “hi, I'm here. Come knock on this door. It's this one.” And I put it in the front part of my building. So, my building there's a door that's always unlocked, you open it, there's the mailboxes and a little set of stairs and then there's a locked door and you go in and then there's like everything. Sarah is miming the situation. So, on the first day, I left the locked door open and I put a sign near the mailbox being like, “hey, I'm here. Come in. Knock on this one. I'm here.” I received the photo from FedEx saying, “sorry, we missed you.” And they leave like a little slip, it was on the side of a public trash can, which I could not find.
SARAH: Amazing.
KAYLA: I scoured the streets and I could tell, like I saw the picture. I said, “I know that trash can,” it wasn't there, just in the streets. So, I called FedEx and I was like, “fuck you.”
SARAH: The F in FedEx is for ‘fuck you.’
KAYLA: For ‘fuck you.’ And the lady was like, “oh, I’m so sorry. I'll put in a note that they should do…” whatever. So, I was like, “okay, whatever.” The next day I told my boss, “I’m so sorry, I'm working from home again.” This time I left the note on the outside of the building, the very front door of the building that's on the street, I said, “FedEx…” very big, “I am here.”
SARAH: So, anyone could see it, any passerby.
KAYLA: Anyone could see that they could come into my building. I said, “come in here, come knock on my door.” I labeled my door, my door doesn't usually have a number on it, I said, “this is the door.” I received… bitch! I received a picture from FedEx saying, “sorry, we missed you.” They put the slip directly under my note and took a picture of both of them together. I was shaking with rage. I was like on a work call and I was like… and my coworkers knew this was happening. I was like, “I have to go.” Like I was like crying. I was just so fucking mad. So, I called FedEx again and this time meaner. The first time I was like stern, but like fine, this one mean, because also it was a man on the phone. So, I was like, “fuck you.”
SARAH: Oh, yeah, fuck you.
KAYLA: And I learned… well, immediately he started blaming the company that sent it. He was like, they have all these issues with their account, blah, blah, blah. And I said, “I don't care.” And that's not my problem.
SARAH: And that's not my problem.
KAYLA: That's not the problem. And I was like, “look at this picture, that's literally insane.” And he was like, “well, there needs to be instruction, specific delivery instructions.” And I said, “I'm sorry…”
SARAH: They’re right there.
KAYLA: “I need to specifically put in the instructions to enter the building?” And he said, “yes.”
SARAH: To enter the building where I live, where things are delivered?
KAYLA: You apparently have to write specific instructions saying, “okay, turn the knob clockwise, open door inward…”
SARAH: Pull… or no, it's an inward, push.
KAYLA: It is an inward, push.
SARAH: Push door.
KAYLA: I… ah… okay. So, the next day, Saturday, we're supposed to go to the pumpkin patch, Dean wants to leave at 10 AM. I said, “Dean, consistently for the past few days, this truck has showed up at like 10:45, I will not be leaving at 10.”
SARAH: And it has been the same driver both times, and you know this because FedEx told you.
KAYLA: The first two times… Yeah, FedEx like sent a picture, they were like, “here's the motherfucker.”
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, I said, “I know that this man has come around this time. So, I'm not leaving.”
SARAH: Didn't one of your friends also almost chase a FedEx truck down?
KAYLA: My friend later that day on the second day saw the FedEx truck, I don't know if it was even the same one, near their workplace and started walking up to the truck to confront them, and then… but it drove away. So yeah, on Saturday I was like, “I'm not leaving until this package comes, I'm sitting at the door.” So, I woke up at 8 AM. I looked at the tracking, the truck had left their facility at 5 AM. So, I got up, it was cold outside, I got up, I propped the front door open, I sat on the front steps and I waited for an hour and 45 minutes.
SARAH: She tailgated.
KAYLA: So that… okay, and I'm a little sad that it didn't end up happening. Me and my friends that like live on the same street as me had plans to like pull out lawn chairs and sit on the sidewalk and tailgate. Our friend Perry made bacon, egg and cheeses like they usually do for like early Michigan game days. And so, we had full plans for like five of us to be sitting there waiting. Unfortunately, I guess fortunately, because we still got to leave for the pumpkin patch on time, the guy actually came earlier than usual, so I was like…
SARAH: And it was a different guy.
KAYLA: And it was a different man.
SARAH: So, you couldn't even yell at him?
KAYLA: No, I know. So, thank God I decided to like sit out early when no one else was awake because I would have missed it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And I was on the phone with my family at the time, I was like face-timing the baby while waiting for this man and my dad was like, “why didn't you yell at him?” Like, “I'm so sad that you didn't yell at him.” And I was like, “dude, whatever.”
SARAH: It's not his fault.
KAYLA: So, I got it. I had to sit outside for an hour and 45 minutes.
SARAH: And what time did it come?
KAYLA: It was like 9:45.
SARAH: 9:45? That's a journey in a saga.
KAYLA: The picture, some of you may have seen it, I posted it on my Instagram story, I was like, “what do you mean?”
[00:50:00]
SARAH: She was fuming.
KAYLA: I mean, the sign says, “FedEx, I am here.”
SARAH: The sign was very clear.
KAYLA: And it's right under it, “sorry, we missed you.” Dude!
SARAH: Yeah, that's infuriating.
KAYLA: If you work for FedEx, fuck you. That's all.
SARAH: That's what she has to say.
KAYLA: That is what I have to say. What do you mean you need specific instructions to come inside? What do you mean?
SARAH: Also, the instructions were on the door.
KAYLA: And exactly. And also, they can't call you for your safety and theirs. To which I said, “that makes sense, because if you would have called me, I would have come outside and punched you in the face.” So that is for your safety, perhaps.
SARAH: That is for your safety.
KAYLA: Because I would have fucking killed you. Anyway.
SARAH: So, my juice is that I saw an allergist today.
KAYLA: Huge
SARAH: And we have action items.
KAYLA: Yay.
SARAH: We're going to do them, I'm going to get pricked many times, on multiple days.
KAYLA: So fun. Are you getting like a full test? Or no, they already did that for you where they poked all the things
SARAH: Okay, so they're doing an environmental skin prick test and a food skin prick test, those have to happen on different days and they're doing blood tests and checking everything.
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: And I'm also taking more Allegra at night and maybe something else if it doesn't interact with my Adderall, she had to check, but I've taken it before and I didn't die, so. That's my update. My beef is that my health insurance is going to be $600 a month next year.
KAYLA: No, no, no, no.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That's insane.
SARAH: It's actually like $599 and some change. No, no, no, I'm sorry, it's $598 and some change. It was supposed to be $599 and some change, but I got one California credit for $1.
KAYLA: Huge. That's insane.
SARAH: And honestly, that's the smallest price hike I've ever had in terms of percent increase, it's only a 14% increase from last year and with the chaos with the government being shut down and the bullshit happening, people were expecting like 30% increases for a lot of people who are on Obamacare and I'm on the… I get my health insurance via the California version of Obamacare. And so, I was honestly a little bit delighted by the fact that I only got a 14% increase, I'm not delighted by the fact that it's going to be $600 a month. I was looking at other options because there are some cheaper options, but they're just like also equally bad and I would have to change all my doctors, so. But there was an option for me to spend $1,100 a month…
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: And have to get all new doctors.
KAYLA: Oh, great.
SARAH: And I was like, “that's a really great plan.”
KAYLA: Great deal.
SARAH: Also, this does not include dental.
KAYLA: Oh, bitch! They don't even have dental.
SARAH: Anyway, the American health insurance system is really a delight.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your $1 California credit. It's like, honestly, it's offensive.
KAYLA: No, like what's the point? That's awful.
SARAH: $1.
KAYLA: This week, your Patreon donations will be going towards Sarah's health insurance and my crusade to buy FedEx so that I can change all of their policies.
SARAH: One of them is a little bit easier to pay for than the other, but neither of them are easy.
KAYLA: And both good causes, I think.
SARAH: Yeah, I think so. You can tell us about your beef, your juice… Oh, I already said that thing, whatever, it doesn't matter. On our social media @soundsfakepod, we also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you'd like to support us there. Again, it will go towards my health insurance. And when I was looking at other options, it was like, “hey, what are your needs so that we know what kinds to give you?”
KAYLA: Health insurance, that's my need.
SARAH: No, but like, basically, like, would you rather have a higher monthly premium and lower co-pays or lower co-pays… no, higher co-pays, but a lower monthly premium? Like what works best for you? And it was like, “how many prescriptions do you have?”
KAYLA: Oh boy.
SARAH: And I looked at it, there were like four options, it was like; none, one to two a month, three to four a month, or so many, I have problems. And I sighed so loudly.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And then I had to click ‘so many, I have problems.’
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, our $5 patrons who we are putting this week are Simon, which Simon, the name is German. I can't remember if you live in Germany or a German-speaking country, Simon, but if you do, your health insurance is a lot better than ours. It may suck, but at least it's not American, you know? Snordstorm, Sophia P, Tall_Daryl, and Tom S. You know what I have to say about Snordstorm? I think Nordstrom would be a better health insurance provider than whatever the fuck we have going on.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Danielle Hutchinson, who would like to promote Rainbow Pride Knits, Derick & Carissa, who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face, Elle Bitter, who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators/srs, Eric, who would like to promote Queer ASL, and my aunt Jeannie, who would like to promote Christopher's Haven. Our other $10 patrons are Johanna, Kayla's dad, KELLER bradley, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Purple Hayes, Quartertone, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alastor, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, and Clare Olsen. Our $15 patrons are Ace, who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s aunt Nina, who would like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell, who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Changeling & Alex, who would like to promote their company, ControlAltAccess.com, and Dr. Jacki, Dragonfly, my mom, and River, who would like to promote the fact that I have been holding my mic for this last bit, so I'm sorry if you heard weird noises. Also, sorry that my audio has been kind of funky the past couple of weeks.
KAYLA: It's okay, I don't listen.
SARAH: We move, we groove. The other thing that they would all like to promote is the fact that my mom is actually going to be able to come to my skin prick appointment with me because she will happen to be in LA.
KAYLA: Oh my God, so fun
SARAH: On Tuesday, skin prick test. Wednesday, concert. Thursday, skin prick test.
KAYLA: She's booked and busy.
SARAH: And I have to stop taking my allergy medications before the skin prick test.
KAYLA: Oh, yikes.
SARAH: But she's giving me a steroid to take.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Anyway, thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]