Ep 359: Reddit Rabbit Hole (AITA) pt. 19
SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello! Welcome to ‘Sounds Fake But Okay,’ a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, (that's me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, ‘Reddit Rabbit Hole.’
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: I am caffeinated.
SARAH: I'm lightly caffeinated, I've had about four sips.
KAYLA: I had my regular morning caffeine, and then I had my... I drank half of a Coca-Cola on my way back from work, and then I went to the gym. Huge. And then I drank the other half when I got back.
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: And now here I am.
SARAH: Great.
KAYLA: Awake.
SARAH: Alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic.
KAYLA: For now.
SARAH: Okay. Well, we are starting a bit late because someone had a mic issue.
KAYLA: It wasn't me, the way she’s saying that, makes it sound like it was me and it wasn't.
SARAH: No, it was me.
KAYLA: It just wasn't.
SARAH: It was me
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But we have fixed it, and to fix it, I unplugged and re-plugged multiple chords many times.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Until it finally fixed itself.
KAYLA: You know, like an engineer.
SARAH: Yeah. Well, the internet was like, you have to unplug it, and then you have to unplug both ends, and then you have to re-plug in one end, and then re-plug in the other end.
KAYLA: I think I've actually done that with this microphone before. Now that you say that, that sounds familiar and like something I've had to do before.
SARAH: Like, why is it so finicky?
KAYLA: I don't know, man.
SARAH: Anyway, we're here. Kayla, do we have any housekeeping?
KAYLA: You should buy our book. Recently, we found out exactly how many copies we've sold, which is nothing I've ever been... I've never seen that information before, and it should be more, I think.
SARAH: I know you were all on the edge of your seats from last week. We did, in fact, get our... Okay, that's not true. I got my royalty statement.
KAYLA: I think mine is in the mail at my old apartment, if I had to guess. But our royalty statement should be identical.
SARAH: They should be identical, yes.
KAYLA: So, we will get paid.
SARAH: And I was correct; they do come at the end of September.
KAYLA: Do you think that's why we got two new $10 patrons this week? Do you think people were worried for us financially after last week, and they were like, “God, please shut the fuck up, take my money.”
SARAH: We really convinced them. Yeah, that'd be remarkable.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, we've sold a bunch of books.
KAYLA: We really have.
SARAH: But we could sell more.
KAYLA: No, I think it is an impressive number.
SARAH: It is. Everyone, guess.
KAYLA: Tomorrow is Yom Kippur.
SARAH: Well, it will have already happened.
KAYLA: Well, my computer just told me that tomorrow is Yom Kippur, so.
SARAH: My bosses are at Kol Nidre right now.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: That's like Christmas Eve mass for Yom Kippur.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: So, I already knew that, is what I'm saying to you.
KAYLA: Okay, well, some of us didn't, so.
SARAH: They won't really be working tomorrow, but you know who will be working tomorrow? The goys.
KAYLA: The goys. Alas. Alas.
SARAH: Anyway, yeah, that's enough, sure. Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: It's Reddit time, bitch!
SARAH: It’s Reddit time.
KAYLA: We haven't done a Reddit since August, and now it's October, so it's time.
SARAH: Yeah, take that. Here's the thing, we have all these old ‘Am I the Asshole,’ like, notes, and I have done such a bad job at keeping track of what…
KAYLA: I know, you say this every time.
SARAH: That's why I started over, but then I did all of the ones from the started over.
KAYLA: Well...
SARAH: I was just reading what I had written. Oh, Dingleberry. We're just gonna go to the ‘Am I the Asshole,’ we're just gonna see what's there right now.
KAYLA: Oh my God, we're rawdogging it.
SARAH: We're rawdogging it.
KAYLA: That's crazy, we haven't done that in years. Like, literally, probably years. I'm scared.
SARAH: Oh, I see. This is a colorectal cancer like awareness post, but it just is, “do you have a butt? Read this.”
KAYLA: Oh. Oh. Hey, effective advertising, it got us. Everyone, get your colons checked, or whatever you're supposed to do.
SARAH: Yep, okay. Let me see if there's, like, a ‘best of AITA.’
KAYLA: Should I go in? I think I got permanently locked out of the Reddit account I had because I never updated my password when it told me to.
SARAH: Uh-oh.
KAYLA: So, oopsie.
SARAH: Okay, this was a post that was, like, ‘AITA, best of 2022’ masterpiece.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: People voted on, like, categories.
KAYLA: That's good.
SARAH: And this category was, ‘most difficult decision to make.’
KAYLA: Okay. I have something to say, later.
SARAH: Okay. “Am I the asshole for giving my daughter a stuffed bear filled with human hair?”
KAYLA: Oh, no. No, no, no.
SARAH: “My 33-male, wife 31-female, just had our daughter, our first child, three months ago.” I don't mean to say this in an offensive way, but this, just without any context, it's giving, like, weird Slavic Eastern European tradition.
KAYLA: I do kind of see that, yeah.
SARAH: Okay, “my family has a tradition where the firstborn will get a special stuffed animal.” Only the firstborn?
KAYLA: Damn, fuck the rest of these kids.
SARAH: Jeez. “I got one from my mother when I was born, who got one from her mother, who got one from her father, and so on and so on.” Wait, so if you're, like, the second-born, and then you have a child…
KAYLA: They're left out. It only goes from the… it seems like it's… well, I guess I don't know. I guess I just don't know.
SARAH: So, like, if it was on my mom's… if it was through my mom's side of the family, my sister would get one. But if it were through my dad's side of the family, no one would get one because my dad is not the oldest.
KAYLA: Yeah, maybe.
SARAH: Okay. “The reason that it's special is because the stuffing is made from their parents' hair.”
KAYLA: No, see? No.
SARAH: “The way it works is that once a child is old enough to start getting their hair cut, their parent will save as much of that hair as they can. When the child becomes a parent themselves, the new grandparent will use the saved hair to make a stuffed animal to give the baby.”
KAYLA: Oh, that's so insane.
SARAH: “The hair in the toy represents the new parent's connection to the child and is a tangible measure that shows that they'll always be close by. The care taken by the new grandparent in collecting the hair and using it to make the toy represents the child's connection to its family history and is a tangible measure that shows the extended family will always support them. In short, the stuffed animal is a way of connecting the new life to their new family. After my daughter was born, my mother spent a lot of time making a stuffed bear from scratch to fill with my childhood hair. She just finished last week. Since my leave from work is just about over, I was excited to give my daughter the bear and share the tradition with my wife. I thought she would think it was sweet, but she blew up at me. Instead of liking the bear, my wife said it was gross and disgusting and that she wouldn't have it around her daughter. I told her that it's our daughter, not hers, and that there's nothing disgusting about my family's tradition. She said it was unhygienic. I told her that it's not, the hair is clean and well-preserved. We argued and eventually she said that if I ever put that thing near her daughter that she would throw it in the trash.”
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: “I was shocked. This is something that represents decades of my mother's work and planning and generations of my family's history. I told my wife that if she's cruel and callous about something that means so much to me and my family, then she's not the person I thought she was. She just called my family's tradition weird and culty. I didn't know what to do. I didn't think my wife was this kind of person. I told my mother about the fight and now she's feuding with my wife too.”
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: “My wife then got her family involved…”
KAYLA: Nooooo
SARAH: “Before calling me some vulgar names, but am I really an asshole for wanting to give my special girl her special bear?”
KAYLA: Here's the thing, their tradition is weird, okay?
SARAH: It's very weird.
KAYLA: The sentiment is very sweet.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I understand the sentiment completely. It is a little bit odd in these times. Thinking back a couple of generations, I think it makes more sense.
SARAH: Sure. Before the advent of the photograph.
KAYLA: Well, before you could perhaps buy your own stuffed bear or like stuffing was commercially available.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Say you're in the ye olde times you want to give the kid a toy, you need to make it from what's around, you know?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Sure. It gets weirder and weirder, you know?
SARAH: It does.
KAYLA: The more we move on as a society. However, she sounds like she's being really mean about it.
SARAH: Yeah, listen, it's weird, but if it matters to this guy, I don't think there's a harm in it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Also, she's threatening to throw it away if it gets near her daughter.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's crazy wording.
SARAH: Which also, hair notwithstanding, his mother made this bear.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It wasn't like she bought a bear and ripped its stomach open and stuffed some hair in it, she made the bear.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So, to say that you would throw it away, if I were the mother, I would be feuding with this woman too.
KAYLA: The fact that there can't even be a compromise of like, okay, it'll sit on a shelf. Like maybe this won't be a play bear.
SARAH: Yes
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: This will be like a nice heirloom to look at, like to throw it away, like, why?
SARAH: Yeah. This person says, “not the asshole because I understand this is emotionally meaningful to you, but it's also fairly objectively pretty fucking weird.” Someone goes, “I really need to know the origins of this tradition and how generations of spouses just let this persist and fester.” And then they said, “I’m gonna take a bag of pubes to build a bear tomorrow to make something nice for the wife.”
KAYLA: No, stop that. No, no, no. I've talked about the teeth apples on here, right?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay. See, and that's something… does my mom like it? No.
SARAH: I think you have to tell people again, because… if they don't know.
KAYLA: Okay. When me and my sister got our wisdom teeth taken out, we kept them, like, my dad asked to like keep our teeth, slay. And he like took apples and carved them into like face shapes and put the teeth in their mouths and put little beads in for their eyes and they've existed now for decades. And they started out looking like, you know, whatever. And now they're like…
SARAH: And now they’re just… they look like that shriveled worm from SpongeBob.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: You know her?
KAYLA: I do. They do... I mean, they look like something you'd find in an ancient tomb. Does my mom like these? Do any of us like these apples?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: No, my dad himself is embarrassed about the apples, but none of us are throwing them away because like, come on now, it's funny.
SARAH: Yeah. I think it's weird, but obviously it matters to this person. And so, the wife is being really fucking mean about it.
KAYLA: Yeah. There's no need to be that rude about it.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: We can have an adult conversation.
SARAH: This person says, “point of clarification, is this just the hair from that first baby haircut, presumably mixed in with plenty of stuffing or like all the hair that has ever been cut from the parents head?”
KAYLA: See, that's also a good question.
SARAH: They said, “because the first option is kind of sweet and vaguely Victorian, lock a hair bare. The second option sounds witchy, itchy, and completely terrifying.”
KAYLA: See that… Yeah. That is a very good question. Because preserving a lock of hair, like lots of parents keep hair from their baby's first haircut. Like they keep the teeth, they keep the hair, whatever, that's not unheard of at all.
SARAH: Yeah. I think if it's just like… well, but OP said that his mom spent decades collecting it.
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: Not decades preserving it and keeping it safe, but decades collecting it. You know what would be crazy? If your parents had done this with your hair and they had done it over the years, you could see the progression of how your hair changed.
KAYLA: See, I would love that because my hair used to be blonde and straight. So blonde and so straight. And if any of you have seen me, that's not what I look like at this time.
SARAH: No. My hair was lighter when I was younger, but the texture and the… that is the same.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It was just like a little blonder. This person says, “while OP isn't an asshole, the wife's visceral reaction suggests that he has never mentioned this tradition to her until now. If it were me, I'd be pretty caught off guard if my husband told me that one of the biggest family traditions was gifting our child a bear stuffed with locks of his hair. It's weird if it has never come up until now.”
KAYLA: That is fair.
SARAH: Does he have a bear? Yes, he said he got one from his… so, he has one.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I wonder…
KAYLA: It would be surprising to me that this is the first time it has ever come up.
SARAH: Has she met this bear and just didn't know?
KAYLA: Yeah, maybe she knew there was a tradition with a bear, but didn't realize there was hair in it?
SARAH: Yeah. I don't know. This person says, “just because it's strange it doesn't mean she has the right to be cruel and the wife is being cruel. It's unusual, but it's not unhygienic or disgusting. Animal and human hair has been long-used to stuff furnishings and toys and human hair has also long been used in personal keepsakes like love tokens and mourning jewelry.”
KAYLA: That’s true
SARAH: “I would be less concerned about hygiene and more that it was going to awaken and murder us all in our sleep, so my point stands.”
KAYLA: I think we should talk about how people keep ashes in their homes.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And this lady is upset about hair.
SARAH: Right, but the ashes in a bear.
KAYLA: Okay, my mom has a bear from her aunt or her great aunt who passed and the bear is made out of a fur coat that she had and so they made a couple of bears, my mom and my aunt have one. For the longest time, I thought there were ashes in the bear.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: There weren’t.
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: But that was normal. I thought that and I was like, “okay, there's not though.”
SARAH: Oh, this person says, they asked, “is this tradition a part of your cultural heritage or is it only something that your specific family does? This is relevant because it has impacts on how much of a cultural miscommunication this might be.” And OP responds and says, “I honestly don't know if this tradition was originally cultural or if it is specific to my family, which leads me to believe that if it was at one point a cultural thing, it's no longer as widespread.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah. Anyway, all right. So, there's that.
KAYLA: Have we ever read from the Reddit; r/AmITheDevil?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: So, this is a Reddit that… it's a place where it's obvious OP is the asshole and it's just people sharing posts from other Reddits.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: Am I the asshole and other included where they're like, “it is clear that this person is the asshole.”
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: I want to read one of these.
SARAH: Oh my God, we're flipping the script, I'm going to have to… hold on, I need to get out a fidget so I focus.
KAYLA: Okay. Thank you. That's very nice.
SARAH: Oh, nice.
KAYLA: Oh, that is a knife.
SARAH: I'm ready.
KAYLA: Okay. Wow. She's stacked. Okay. This is from the r/Vegan Reddit.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: “I've quietly stopped carrying in non-vegan groceries, wife not happy.”
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: “My wife and I split the household chores. One of the things she's responsible for is grocery shopping. If I'm around when she comes home, I'll help unload the car and bring the groceries into the house. I've been vegan for a few years now. Somewhere along the way, I grew uncomfortable handling meat/dairy/eggs. So, when I'm unloading the car, I grabbed the vegan stuff, produce, oatmeal, beans, lentils, et cetera. We each make the same amount of trips carrying in food. Well, she has finally noticed what I'm doing and is slightly annoyed by it. Over the past week, she told me, I talked to my friends and they all say you're being ridiculous. I told my coworkers about it, they agree with me. I talked to your mom and she thinks you're being silly.”
SARAH: Okay. Hold on. I have a question.
KAYLA: Crazy.
SARAH: Are all of these groceries loose? Like, aren't they in bags?
KAYLA: Maybe it's a Costco vibe.
SARAH: I don't think Costco has that much vegan stuff.
KAYLA: Well, if you count produce, if you count anything that's just not meat, dairy, eggs.
SARAH: I watched a fascinating video about Costco the other day. Like, let's assume it's in a bag.
KAYLA: I'm assuming it's not in a bag.
SARAH: How can he be sure that there is only vegan items in this bag? Also, I understand him not wanting to handle meats. Like, my sister-in-law is a pescatarian and she doesn't want to cook a meat.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But if it's in a bag, continue.
KAYLA: It continues. “Honestly, I really don't give a fuck what anyone thinks. But most recently, she said she didn't even think my Reddit vegan friends would agree with me, which got me curious, but still unmoving in my resolve. So, Reddit vegan friends, is that true? Do I have a duty to transport her animal foods?” So, thoughts?
SARAH: It's kind of rude. It would also be one thing if he was like, “hey, I don't want to touch your things.”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But the fact that he was secretly doing this. Also, don't they have one fridge? Like, they don't have a vegan fridge and a non-vegan fridge.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair, that stuff is going to be around.
SARAH: Like, what if you need to get to something in the fridge that's behind something that's not vegan?
KAYLA: I also, I'm not vegan, so I couldn't say, but on levels of things that make me uncomfortable, I would think if I was a vegan, I would be, if I'm uncomfortable with carrying in, having meat products in my hands, carrying them into the house, wouldn't you also be uncomfortable like being in the same house as them being cooked? Like watch it, assuming you eat dinner with your partner, watching them eat it.
SARAH: Yeah. What do y'all do for dinner?
KAYLA: Obviously, they're cooking separately, right? They're not eating all the same things. If animal products are still coming into the house and he's vegan, clearly, she's eating them.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: So, they just not eat together at all?
SARAH: Like, my sister and my sister-in-law, because my sister-in-law is pescatarian, my sister definitely eats less meat than she used to.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But that doesn't mean that she doesn't still eat meat. Like if they go out, she'll still eat meat. And sometimes… like, I had chicken tenders at her house one time.
KAYLA: Huge.
SARAH: So.
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm just, I'm confused where he's drawing the line of…
SARAH: Yeah. What was the conclusion? What did people say?
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: Most of the comments I'm seeing are like, “why don't you use your adult words and just tell…” like, why didn't you just communicate this instead of quietly stopping doing it?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: This one person says, “you've got two options, get a divorce or start communicating.”
SARAH: Honestly, I feel like that's advice for a lot of people.
KAYLA: I think a lot of comments too are saying that he should start doing the shopping then, if he's going to be having very particular feelings about the food coming in, then it's like, do your own shopping then. Like just shop separately for your food.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: All right. This is a ‘best of’ post
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: “Am I the asshole for bringing my sister-in-law's wallet to the restaurant when she conveniently always forgets it?”
KAYLA: That is a little funny. It's a little bit funny.
SARAH: “My F-28 sister-in-law ‘Amy,’ F-26.”
KAYLA: Amy?
SARAH: Well, it's a fake name.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: “Always comes to visit from out of town. She stays with us instead of a hotel.” How long have they been married if Amy is 26?
KAYLA: Well, how old is the other person?
SARAH: 28.
KAYLA: They could… I don't know, say they got married at like 22.
SARAH: I know it's still, it's just so silly.
KAYLA: People used to be doing that.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay. “She stays with us instead of a hotel and always wants to go to expensive restaurants. She always conveniently forgets her wallet or comes up with some excuse as to why she can't pay her share. She has implied that since I make much more money than her, I should be the one to pay. No, not my husband should pay, but me specifically.”
KAYLA: That is a little silly.
SARAH: “I do make a fair amount of money, but not so much that I can treat someone every time they come into town. Nonetheless, in the past, I have just paid the bill and asked her to pay me back. She never has. She had made a reservation at an extremely expensive restaurant last night. And before we left, I made it clear that I wouldn't be paying for her bill. This is where I might be the asshole. And I'll admit, I got this move straight from an episode of Two and a Half Men.”
KAYLA: No, not ‘Two and a Half Men.’
SARAH: “As we were leaving, her and my husband went to the car. I pretended I forgot something and went back inside. I found her wallet sitting right on top of her suitcase. I put it in my purse and we went to the restaurant.”
KAYLA: Oh, that's good.
SARAH: “When we were done eating, I asked for separate bills. She said, no, we need one bill because she forgot her wallet again. I reached in my purse and said, this wallet?”
KAYLA: So good.
SARAH: “She was extremely furious. She said that I should not have touched or grabbed her wallet. So, am I the asshole for taking her wallet and bringing it to the restaurant?” There are several updates, but I would like to know your thoughts right now.
KAYLA: I mean, listen, it's a bold move.
SARAH: But if she is doing this constantly and if she specified… like if they… if she made it crystal clear before they left, that she would not… And it seems…
KAYLA: Also…
SARAH: It seems to me…
KAYLA: The sister…
SARAH: Ah, ah, ah… it seems to me that Amy wasn't even like doing the, like trying to look for it.
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Being like, oh no, she was just like, yeah, I don't have it
KAYLA: Yeah. Also, Amy is the one who made the reservation.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: If you are going to make a reservation at an expensive restaurant, you either need to A, check with everyone that that is in the budget or B, be willing to pay for everything.
SARAH: Yes. Them is the rules.
KAYLA: You just… and every time, like that's… also, to the thing of like, oh, she makes a lot of money, so she should have to pay, that's their money.
SARAH: Also, she's hosting you.
KAYLA: Yeah. Also, if you're staying in their home, instead of getting a hotel, like they're already opening their home to you so you can save money on a hotel. Like, no. Crazy. I mean, it's extremely bold.
SARAH: So, this is her husband's sister
KAYLA: Right. So, then I also have questions about like, why is the husband not stepping in to talk to his sister and be like, “hey…”
SARAH: Right. Because at first, for some reason, my brain interpreted this as it was her husband's brother's wife.
KAYLA: Oh, I don’t think so
SARAH: But there is no mention of another man in this story.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think it's the brother's sister
SARAH: I think it’s the brother’s sister
KAYLA: Yeah, now I have questions about what the brother is doing.
SARAH: In English, we don't have a way to differentiate between those two things, they're all sisters-in-law.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's true.
SARAH: All right. So, edit. “Amy just called me.’
KAYLA: Uh-oh.
SARAH: “She saw this post.”
KAYLA: Eww! Amy, no!
SARAH: “And she yelled at me for bad-mouthing her on the internet.’
KAYLA: But did she refute the claims?
SARAH: “Honestly, I don't care. Amy, hopefully reading all these comments is a wake-up call for you.”
KAYLA: Oh, that's so funny.
SARAH: Okay, so here are some answers to common questions.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Why does… D.H? Da husband?
KAYLA: Yeah, what does that stand for? I have no idea.
SARAH: Why does da husband keep letting Amy in? Why does D.H...
KAYLA: What does D.H stand for?
SARAH: Da husband. All right, “without getting into too much detail, he has always been expected to pay for nice things for the females in his family. He has also been kind of scammed out of large sums of money by his family.”
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: “That has slowly been shut down over time, and we're working on shutting down his dinners/outing things. He…” See, now I'm confused about who D.H is.
KAYLA: Was anyone referred to as D.H in the original post?
SARAH: No, I'm gonna read this whole thing and we'll see if we can figure out if it's...
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Because this almost makes it seem like… sister-in-law has a husband… okay, “he has also been scammed out of large sums of money by his family.” What, like this?
KAYLA: Like, how are they doing that? Yeah, how are they doing that?
SARAH: It sounds like it's happening to him again right now.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: “We're working on shutting down this dinner/outings thing. He allows us because he feels bad that they don't have a lot of money. It's sad, but that's how his family got along for a very long time. Being dishonest about anything and everything to get their hands on some extra money or extra financial help. I could write a book on some of the things I've seen them do over the years. It hasn't been easy to show these people how wrong this is. He has talked to Amy about being cheap, has had ‘come to Jesus’ talks with her, and genuinely has always felt each next time would be different.” So, D.H is da husband, I don't know what it stands for, but it's da husband.
KAYLA: I wonder if he's the oldest child. Because to me… I wonder if he's like oldest brother, maybe like got a really good job, the rest of the family isn't as well off. And so, there's the assumption of responsibility to help.
SARAH: But Amy is asking her to pay.
KAYLA: No, and then that's very confusing.
SARAH: Well, I think this tracks with what OP is saying about in his family they always just kind of swindle their way into money however they can get it and Amy does not view OP as family, she views her brother as family.
KAYLA: I wonder too, if he has had all these like ‘come to Jesus’ talks with Amy about, maybe in the past, it was like, “I'm not paying for you.” And so, then it was like, “okay, fine, then now it's your wife who's gonna do it instead.”
SARAH: Maybe.
KAYLA: As a like, “oh, see, look, I'm doing better, I'm not making you pay for me,” when it's like, well, you still are.
SARAH: OP says regarding the husband, “we've been in therapy addressing this, and he's learned to set boundaries. This restaurant thing is a boundary that he hadn't set yet. It's hard to set all boundaries all at once when you actually had no clue what boundaries are and have had no boundaries for years.”
KAYLA: Yeah, fair.
SARAH: “Does he pay too?” “We are married, my money is his money, when I mentioned Amy specifies I should pay, I meant more that she specifies that since I make the good money, we as a whole shouldn't be cheap.”
KAYLA: Which again, like I understand that to a certain point of like, “oh, you have the money,” whatever. But also like, that's not...
SARAH: You can't just expect that from someone.
KAYLA: You can't decide how someone else is going to spend their money.
SARAH: Right. Also, I'm sorry, if I'm going to visit someone and it's not my parents...
KAYLA: Yeah, exactly, right, exactly
SARAH: It's not my parents and I am going out to dinner, I feel like in many cases, if I'm like the random person that's there, like when I went to the zoo with you and your parents, your parents paid for my food, but I was prepared to pay for my own food.
KAYLA: Yeah, you should always be prepared to pay your own way. Like it is nice, especially… so, you like go out with a friend's parents, your grandparents, whatever. Right, in the back of your mind, you can be like, “oh, yeah, maybe,” because like, that's just the dynamic
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: But you should always be prepared for that to not happen.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Like you should never go in assuming someone is just going to give something to you.
SARAH: You should at the very least be like, “oh no, you don't have to, thank you so much.”
KAYLA: You have to do the check game.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like you have to… like you can't just be like, “oh yeah, whatever, thanks.”
SARAH: Yeah. Okay. “What was the point if you ended up paying?” Oh, it seems like on this particular dinner Amy still didn't pay.
KAYLA: Nooooo, I would have just left. I would have gotten separate checks, paid my check, left and been like, “well, you…”
SARAH: “Go back in the kitchen and do some fucking dishes.”
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: Yeah. “You get get in trouble then if you don't want to pay for your meal.”
SARAH: Open the wallet, see what's inside. “You got any cash in here?” So, what was the point if you ended up paying? “I knew Amy wasn't going to pay. She always finds a way not to pay. I went to the restaurant fully expecting to foot the bill. I did this because I saw it on a show and I thought it would be funny to do IRL to be completely honest.”
KAYLA: And that's so fair.
SARAH: “The whole point wasn't really to get her to pay. It was more to show her that the ‘forgot my wallet’ excuse was getting old.”
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair.
SARAH: “Is Amy banned from visiting?”
KAYLA: Great question.
SARAH: “Fortunately, this post turned out to be a good thing. Da husband has always had it in his head that Amy is a good person and has her reasons for being sneaky and cheap like I mentioned above. In his head, it's not her fault, she is the way she is. It's the circumstances of their upbringing that caused her to make bad decisions. But seeing Amy's reply to my post and people's response to Amy has really changed his thinking. That's the first time Amy has outright admitted that she's purposefully taking advantage. Reading some of the other comments has also been eye-opening for him. So, da husband has told Amy that she's not welcome here, at least not for a long while.”
KAYLA: Well, that's good, I think.
SARAH: “Regarding the judgment, thanks for lots of not the assholes. But I liked one commenter's, sometimes it's okay to be the ass.” I think that's exactly what it was here, it was an ass move, but also outweighed by Amy's assholery.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think that's fair. Like it was a pretty wild thing to do. But sometimes, you know, you just have to be little bananas.
SARAH: Okay, apparently at some point, Amy left a comment.
KAYLA: Oops
SARAH: And it was deleted…
KAYLA: Nooooo
SARAH: But someone summarized it
KAYLA: Oh, okay, and what was it?
SARAH: “I won't repost the whole thing word for word since there's some detail that OP doesn't want known.” Fair.
KAYLA: Fair.
SARAH: But the gist of it is, Amy was bitching that OP would take her own sisters out to restaurants to treat them…
KAYLA: Well, that’s…
SARAH: That her brother is now cheap because he won't pay for her and her mother's expenses anymore. And that…
KAYLA: Um, ma’am
SARAH: Also, that in their culture, the older sibling always pays. So why can't OP just treat her since she has so much money to ‘waste.’
KAYLA: Oh, see, I think my thing about him being the oldest son is correct. And I think…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: The culture thing is very interesting.
SARAH: Yeah. And then they said, I especially like this little gem that Amy wrote, this is a direct quote, are you ready?
KAYLA: I'm scared.
SARAH: “Maybe I am wrong for always forgetting my wallet, but it's not fair that she always pays for her own sisters, but not for me. She would never take her…”
KAYLA: But I think it is a hundred percent fair.
SARAH: “She would never take her sister's wallet and embarrass her at a restaurant trying to make her pay. Taking my wallet and sneaking it to the restaurant when she can afford to pay for things is so messed up.” Amy concludes her post by saying she hopes people don't think she's an asshole when they learn more about the situation. I would say, it's too late for that now, Amy. None of what you said matters, we all still think you're an asshole and a leash, a leech, a leash? A leech.
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, her sister thing is so not comparable, those are, A, her sisters.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. They've been through shit together.
KAYLA: Yeah. You can be as close to your sister-in-law as whatever, but the dynamic is always going to be different.
SARAH: It’s different.
KAYLA: And also, there is a huge difference between, I am choosing to take this person out to treat them to dinner and we are going out to dinner together. Like, those are way different things.
SARAH: Don't you worry, OP responded to that.
KAYLA: Oh, excellent.
SARAH: “Wow, I can't. My sisters are in university working their asses off to pay their own tuition, so yes, I treat them occasionally. They don't come to my house expecting me to pay for everything.”
KAYLA: Yes, exactly.
SARAH: “How much money I earn is not anyone's damn business. How I spend my money is not anyone's damn business. My husband is cheap now because we have a mortgage to pay and a child to take care of.” Also, child!?
KAYLA: Child! This is the, yeah, no, that makes it even crazier.
SARAH: First drop of a child. “I also didn't have much money to my name at a time in my life, but I never mooched off of anyone or expected anyone to pay my way, not even my own parents, you figure that out on your own. Get the hell off my post and don't complain to someone who cares.”
KAYLA: Fair. Wow, wow, wow.
SARAH: Oh, okay. In addition to the main reply she made, Amy left another comment saying that OP and husband had often talked about going to this restaurant, but it's hard to get reservations. So, Amy had watched it waiting to make reservations and assumed OP would be grateful and happy to pay as she finally got to go there.
KAYLA: What!? No, that's nothing.
SARAH: Yeah, this person goes, whereas if I were doing this for my sibling as a surprise, I would consider that paying for my sibling myself would be an essential part of the surprise.
KAYLA: Well, yeah. If it's going to be a true surprise, you're paying for everyone.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Like, what? Wha? Wha?
SARAH: Oh, this person goes, “I couldn't have waited as long as OP. I would have gotten into the car, cheerfully handed the wallet to Amy and said, I noticed this while I was grabbing whatever she pretended to forget. Here you go.”
KAYLA: No, I think it was perfect.
SARAH: “I'd fully expect a tantrum and to just as cheerfully tell her because people get even more enraged when the other person doesn't get mad. You weren't planning to pay? I guess we're staying home and ordering pizza.”
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. I think I just found another wild one in ‘the devil.’
SARAH: Okay, hit me with it.
KAYLA: Oh my God. It's really long. Just kidding, I don't want to read this one, this person is just like truly a terrible person.
SARAH: Oh no.
KAYLA: TLDR, this guy broke up with his girlfriend because they went on a four-leaf clover hunting date and he found a couple of four-leaf clovers and then she found a six… Oh, he has a collection of them. Four-leaf clovers and she found a six-leaf clover and he was like, “that's mine now” and took it and then she was obviously upset and so then they broke up. But he was just being like this… He was just being so mean.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So, never mind. I don't want to read that, he's just being mean.
SARAH: All right, I've got one for you.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: It'll be the last one. “Am I the asshole for deleting pictures of myself and my baby from my ex's phone without permission?”
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Okay. “My ex has taken a lot of pictures of me and our baby in the last two months, even though I hate having pictures taken of me right now. He knows I hate it but he keeps telling me I'll regret it later when our son is older if I don't have these pictures and promised he wouldn't show anybody else them.” Okay. “I ended up deleting the majority of them when he left his phone unattended because I hated them and he had pictures of me breastfeeding which I don't want him to have even if you really can't see anything. I never told him I did it but he noticed recently and is mad at me for touching his phone without permission and deleting the pictures even though I only deleted the ones with me in them. During one fight, I called him a pervert for taking pictures of me breastfeeding and I threatened to move out if he didn't stop bringing it up. Things are awkward and tense between us as he's still angry with me. So, am I the asshole?” So, it's your ex but you live together because you're co-parenting? Am I understanding that right?
KAYLA: Yeah, that would be my guess. Or like, you know, sometimes you just can't move. That's a tough one because I don't think you should just be taking other people's phones.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And doing things.
SARAH: I have an interesting series of comments here, they're having like a proper discussion. So, this person says, “you're the asshole for sexualizing breastfeeding, calling him a pervert and going through his phone. You have a right to not have your picture taken but I agree with your ex that you'll regret it later and your child will miss out on those memories as well.” First of all, I don't think your child's gonna be like, “oh no, I don't have pictures of my mom breastfeeding me.”
KAYLA: Yeah. I do kind of agree with the point though of regretting not having those pictures because I could completely understand not liking having your picture taken or like postpartum not liking how you look.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: But I do feel like you're gonna want to see that later or at least have the option to see those photos later.
SARAH: Right. And then someone says, “I mostly agree, but I think it's especially reasonable...” “I mostly agree, but I think it's…” especianally… especianally
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: “I think it's especially reasonable for OP to not want her ex taking pictures of her breastfeeding. Of course, it's not sexual and shouldn't be sexualized but that's still more of her body than she likely typically shows to the public and may not want her ex to have pictures of her exposed like that.”
KAYLA: Yeah, that part I think is fair, I don't think...
SARAH: I think especially since he's her ex.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Also adds another layer to it.
KAYLA: Yeah. Breastfeeding is not sexual, no, but it is true that when you breastfeed, much of your body is out.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And that is… whether it's sexualized or not, you just might not want people to see that much of you.
SARAH: Right. And then this person says, “you're completely skipping over the part about consent. She's not sexualizing breastfeeding. It's her naked body he's taking pictures of without her consent. Why is he doing that? If she regrets it, that's her choice to make, not his. She had every right to erase those pictures she did not consent to. She was protecting herself and did what was necessary. She feels taken advantage of in a vulnerable time in her life. Serves him right. I'm glad she was able to access his phone. He doesn't respect her privacy at all and he doesn't deserve respect in return. He can take pictures of his child, not his ex.”
KAYLA: Yeah, that is fair.
SARAH: Like, I get it. I get it. But it's not your call to make.
KAYLA: Yeah, it is also not his choice. Yeah, I understand his reasoning. I agree that she might regret it, but that is ultimately not his problem.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Yeah, and if he really wants pictures, then he can say, “can we pose some photos on this special occasion so that we have them for posterity?”
KAYLA: Yeah, there's definitely some compromise.
SARAH: And maybe OP might agree, you know?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Also, like, she did explicitly tell him, like, don't take these photos and he did it anyway.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's not great.
SARAH: This person goes, “for real, what on earth are these comments? I'm going insane. Why does his phone have more rights than a full-ass adult woman?” And someone responds and says, “there seems to be this weird phenomenon where as soon as a woman becomes a mother, her body is public property.”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: “People touching their stomachs without asking,” so, even before you have a child.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: “People demanding to be in the delivery room and now a woman's consent to photos taken of her doesn't matter because the father wants photos. Bodily autonomy is your right until you're a mother, apparently. How sad to see every day on this sub.”
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Yeah. Also, like, people are saying, like, she's an asshole for going through his phone, but it seems like she wasn't like… let me see what he's up to.
KAYLA: Yeah, she was specifically looking for these photos.
SARAH: Yeah. “If OP regrets it, that's on her. No one else gets to decide that she'll regret it. I've never heard a single mom say, wow, I wish I had breastfeeding pictures to share with my child.”
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know… I understand having that for posterity, but not necessarily to share with the child.
SARAH: Yeah. This person says, “counter question, is he the asshole for taking your pictures and keeping them without permission? And the answer to that is yes. If he refuses to respect your consent, you have every right to ignore his for the purpose of enforcing that consent.”
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair.
SARAH: And that's the tea. Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Um, okay, what did we...
SARAH: We had that last one.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: We had hair bear.
KAYLA: Oh, I think we should do the hair bear.
SARAH: What's the question?
KAYLA: What is the question?
SARAH: Wait, I'm so sorry. I just saw a comment because the wallet one, it was a repost that I had read because the original one had been deleted. But I had the link to the original one that the original post is deleted, but all the comments are still there.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And the top one is, “not the asshole, but you should have totally flipped the switch, left your wallet at home, only brought your license so she had to cover the whole bill and then never taken her out to a restaurant again.”
KAYLA: That actually… that's something.
SARAH: Anyway, okay, so hair bear, what would you do?
KAYLA: What are your thoughts on the hair bear?
SARAH: Weird, but listen, if it matters to him, then it matters to him.
KAYLA: What are your creepy family traditions that are on par with the hair bear?
SARAH: Okay, if you think that this is really, really creepy, perhaps there's a compromise to be had, you let him give your child a hair bear, but he is not allowed to collect your child's hair for a future hair bear.
KAYLA: Oh, like it ends here?
SARAH: It ends here.
KAYLA: That makes me sad.
SARAH: You want more hair bears?
KAYLA: I understand that it's creepy, but it has been generations. Like there is something sad about stopping that.
SARAH: Yeah. What if the kid doesn't have kids?
KAYLA: Then that seems like a natural end.
SARAH: Then they just have a bunch of their own hair?
KAYLA: It just seems like a forced end.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Like, yeah, they don't have kids, whatever. It makes sense then that the passing down tradition would be done, but.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I don’t know, I get that it's creepy, but also like, it's kind of nice, I don't know.
SARAH: Mm, okay. Yeah, so whatever our poll is, this is what we just said. Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: I just had my beef. What was it?
SARAH: I'll go. My beef is that my mic didn't work.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's a good one.
SARAH: My juice is, I think October is a good month, even though it's fucking hot here. Actually, right now it's 67, that's delightful. It was so annoying, I got home from work at 7:15, it was fully dark out.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's been really dark here.
SARAH: Bullshit.
KAYLA: I don't remember what my beef was.
SARAH: Wow. What now?
KAYLA: Well, what was your juice?
SARAH: My juice was October is good.
KAYLA: Oh, duh.
SARAH: You see what it's like? That was easy to forget.
KAYLA: Shut the fuck up. I guess my beef will just be that it's so dark out all the time.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And my juice is that tomorrow, Yom Kippur, I am seeing Reneé Rapp.
SARAH: I'm seeing Reneé Rapp soon. My sister and my sister-in-law saw her last weekend.
KAYLA: That's fun.
SARAH: A person I know from college saw her a couple of days ago, but for free because they're friends.
KAYLA: Fuck, that's not fair.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: That should be me.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm seeing her tomorrow, which for you is it has already happened. So, I hope it was good.
SARAH: I'm sure it was.
KAYLA: Oh, I don't know if this was my original beef, but the beef I have is I think my Magic 8 Ball is broken, it keeps lying to me.
SARAH: Okay, can you elaborate please?
KAYLA: Okay, so if you've never seen a Magic 8 Ball, a Magic 8 Ball is it looks like an eight ball from pool.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And but it has this weird blue liquid in it and this little triangle and you shake it and you ask it a question and then the triangle, like, dye-type of thing turns up a certain way…
SARAH: It has things written on it?
KAYLA: Yeah, and it says like, “most definitely,” or like, “not today” or you can rely on it or “ask again later,” you ask it things to like get your fortune.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, I've been asking it things…
SARAH: Like what?
KAYLA: For example, I asked it if my fantasy football team was going to win and it said yes
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: I lost spectacularly. I've been asking about it for… there is something I'm waiting to happen.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: That I would really… I would like to happen and I keep asking it, like, “is this the day?” “Is this the week?” And it's like, “yeah” and it keeps not being it.
SARAH: And it’s not
KAYLA: So, I looked up if I could cleanse a Magic 8 Ball and apparently people have asked this before because it very quickly gave me the answer of like, no, because of the plastic and the liquid it's not porous enough for the moon or for the crystals or for the sage to get in there. So recently I've started a baseline test to get like you would do for a lie detector test.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: So, I ask it if my cat is cute first and if it says yes then I…
SARAH: That’s an opinion
KAYLA: No, it's not.
SARAH: Like it's not an opinion…
KAYLA: No, it's not.
SARAH: But objectively are your cats cute? Absolutely.
KAYLA: Well, then so what is the objective thing I should ask instead?
SARAH: Is the sky blue?
KAYLA: But what is blue?
SARAH: Also, it's a reflection. Okay, is today in my time zone…
KAYLA: But by whose calendar? The Mayans? The English calendar?
SARAH: Am I alive?
KAYLA: And what is being alive really?
SARAH: Um…
KAYLA: I mean in the lie detector test they always ask is your name blah blah blah and that's how they baseline. So, should I ask it like, is my name Kayla?
SARAH: Is JFK dead?
KAYLA: Well, I can't ask things like that, we don't know, what if he's not?
SARAH: It'll tell you.
KAYLA: It won't though, that's the point. It is like I need a baseline… I need to ask it a question first
SARAH: Is Walt Disney cryogenically frozen?
KAYLA: No. I need to ask it a question I know the answer to first to see what mood it's in that day. So, earlier today…
SARAH: Okay. Not just, is my name Kayla? Is my legal first name Kayla?
KAYLA: Okay, I could do that. Earlier today I tested it with, “is Billie cute?” And to be fair she was being extremely cute at the time so I think it was objective and it said, “yes”
SARAH: Of course
KAYLA: And I asked it if the thing I wanted was going to happen this week and it said, “no.”
SARAH: So, it sounds like it's maybe fixed now.
KAYLA: Right, maybe. Except what if it does happen this week? So, I'm just… if anyone has any tips of how to re-align a Magic 8 Ball then please let me know.
SARAH: Do they make like really like high quality Magic 8 Balls? Like, can you get a Magic 8 Ball that's like made out of a really nice wood?
KAYLA: Crystal. That's a good question. I know they make keychain sizes which I kind of want because I think I need one on the go
SARAH: On the go
KAYLA: I think I need a work one and a home one. Though we're pretty sure our office is like haunted, so, I don't know… well, the ghost wouldn't be able to get in though because the plastic isn't porous enough for the crystal and the moon so you would think a ghost wouldn't be able to get in there either.
SARAH: Yeah. I'll be honest when I think of a Magic 8 Ball I think of like really poor-quality plastic.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, I mean it's… but it's like thick plastic because there’s a lot…
SARAH: Yeah, but it's like so shitty.
KAYLA: I don't know, the one I have is like… it's a good weight, it's not like some like super thin, you know
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: It's still broken but.
SARAH: I think based on all of this your Seventeen bias should be Minghao
KAYLA: Is he into Magic 8 Balls?
SARAH: His stage name is The8.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: And he knows astrology.
KAYLA: Confusing to be in a number-based band and your name is also a number.
[00:50:00]
SARAH: Right and they actually switched the order of the fan chant. So, fan chant order is always the leader goes first and then it's everyone in age order.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: And in Seventeen the leader is the oldest so it's just everyone in age order except him because…
KAYLA: They put him eighth?
SARAH: They put him eighth.
KAYLA: That's nice.
SARAH: So, there are three 97 liners and he's the youngest of them but the first 97 liner was supposed to be the eighth one and so they said, “we can just swap the 97 liners.”
KAYLA: Basically, the same
SARAH: So…
KAYLA: That's very silly.
SARAH: There's your fun fact.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your Magic 8 Ball experiences and woes
KAYLA: Yeah, I would love that.
SARAH: On our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have patreon patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you'd like to support us there. Our $5 patrons who we're promoting this week are Green_Sarah, Iris Tolosa, Jolly Lizbert, Katharina, and Kelly. Our $10 patrons who we are promoting this week… first of all, we have two new $10 patrons
KAYLA: We’re rich
SARAH: They heard our call last week for, “hey, help!”
KAYLA: Help! And what are our patrons funding in our lives this week?
SARAH: Magic 8 Balls
KAYLA: Magic 8 Balls
SARAH: Well, the new ones are Danielle Hutchinson and KELLER bradley
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: So, Keller was in all caps and Bradley was all lowercase
KAYLA: Oh, okay
SARAH: So, I just wanted to read it as it was written
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Thank you to both of you
KAYLA: Thank you so much
SARAH: Both Danielle and KELLER, we appreciate you and please let us know what you would each like to promote
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: KELLER!
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: If you don't tell us something else, I'm going to assume you want to promote basements because that's the word for basement in German.
KAYLA: Huh
SARAH: Keller, it's keller
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Yeah. I don't know, I guess maybe they would promote The Basement Yard, I don't know. Anyway, our other $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Derick & Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face, Elle Bitter who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators/srs, Eric who would like to promote queer ASL and my aunt Jeannie who would like to promote Christopher's Haven. Our other $10 patrons are Johanna, Kayla’s dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Purple Hayes, Quartertone, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alastor, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, and that’s… and Clare Olsen, I forgot how to read. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Nathaniel White, NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 dollar patrons are Changeling & Alex who would like to promote their company controlaltaccess.com and Dragonfly, my mom and River who would like to promote, should I get a Magic 8 Ball?
KAYLA: I think you have to
SARAH: Can you like combine Magic 8 Balls and a tarot reading somehow?
KAYLA: Probably
SARAH: Cup of upside-down tarot. Cup of upside-down cue ball
KAYLA: You could pull a tarot card and then be like, “is this one for me?”
SARAH: “Is this right?”
KAYLA: Just like a validation check, you know
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Like, “are you sure?”
SARAH: “Are you sure?” “Are you a robot?” Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]