Ep 267: Love Languages
(00:00)
SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello. Welcome to sounds fake but okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl. I'm Sarah. That's me.
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl. That's me, Kayla.
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, love languages.
SARAH AND KAYLA: Sounds fake, but okay.
(theme music plays)
KAYLA: (humming theme music)
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: I haven't heard our theme song in a minute.
SARAH: I hear it every week and every week I suffer.
KAYLA: Okay, I do a lot of other things every week, so relax.
SARAH: You're the one that started singing it?
KAYLA: Relax. Please. Why do you keep bringing this up?
SARAH: What a way to start the podcast. Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: Hi.
SARAH: Hi, everyone. I know we talked about it. I know it happened a long time ago now, but this is our first pod recording.
KAYLA: It just happened for us.
SARAH: Since our book event. And it went very well, so thank you to everyone who came.
KAYLA: Yeah, thank you, everyone. It was very lovely. I was very happy to see that it wasn't just our family because I was a little bit worried.
SARAH: One of my professors showed up.
KAYLA: True.
SARAH: That was cool.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Thank you to everyone who came. Thank you to everyone who didn't come.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: It was very nice seeing all of you. Thank you to the lovely person who showed us a picture of their coworker wrestling a cow.
KAYLA: Yes, that was excellent.
SARAH: Thank you to the wonderful people who came from Traverse City, which if you're not from Michigan, that doesn't mean anything to you. But
KAYLA: it was a long way.
SARAH: It's a bit of a drive.
KAYLA: Thank you to everyone who took unhinged.5 pictures with us.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Thank you to Sarah's cousin Abby, who took those.5 pictures.
SARAH: Yes. She was our paparazzi.
KAYLA: It was great.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Go team. Do we have any other housekeeping?
KAYLA: We're out of housekeeping.
SARAH: We have a couple more weeks before we go on summer break.
KAYLA: It's true. If you live in Dublin, Dublin, Dublin, if you live in Dublin or Edinburgh, keep your eyes out at the end of July and beginning of August. I'll be in your streets walking around.
SARAH: Are you going to go to Arthur's Seat?
KAYLA: I think so. Yeah, we were… I was we had nothing planned until today.
SARAH: Oh, good.
KAYLA: And I booked a few tickets to go into some castles and stuff. But yes, I believe we shall be going to the Arthur's Seat.
SARAH: Dress appropriately for Arthur's Seat because it because I was just wearing.
KAYLA: Is it windy?
SARAH: No, it's just like it's like it's a little hikey. It's not a hike.
KAYLA: Yes, I did see…
SARAH: But like it's it's naturey.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And me when me when me and our friend Erin went, it was kind of like a spur of the moment thing.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And so I was wearing jeans and these Chelsea boots that I bought for eleven pounds at.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: What's that one store?
KAYLA: H&M.
SARAH: No, it's one of the ones that they only have in the UK. But it's like it's like it's similar to H&M, but they only have it there.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: At least they don't have it in the US. Erin had recently done a a an injure, an injure to their leg. And so that was a little bit of a struggle. And also, we went a little bit late. So then it was a little little too dark when we were leaving.
KAYLA: Oh good. Well I’ll keep that in mind
SARAH: Oh, anyway, what I mean to say is that more than me.
KAYLA: OK, thank you. I will. I recently got Tiva's, so they're platform Tiva's.
SARAH: Oh, my God. So. Oh, my God. Exciting. I think I'm going to buy a hiking bag so I can stop taking a drawstring backpack with a hole in it.
KAYLA: I think that's for the best.
SARAH: Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, we're doing the love languages. And can you believe we've never done this SARAH: when Kayla said that we had never done this, at least not as its own episode? I thought she was gaslighting me.
KAYLA: I don't think I am. I did a nice control F and found nothing. And I believe it was also suggested in our discord that we do this, which leads me to believe that we haven't. I don't think they would… I feel like they know what we've done better.
SARAH: Yeah, if someone recommended it in the discord, even if they hadn't listened to every episode, someone else would have been someone would have been like, I'm actually episode, blah, blah, blah.
KAYLA: Yeah. Not in an um, actually way. People are very nice. Now I'm trying to find, but I can't find it.
SARAH: I don’t think it matters
KAYLA: So I'm sorry to whoever said it. No credit for you.
SARAH: Sorry.
(05:00)
SARAH: But yeah, we're going to talk about love languages.
KAYLA: I've done the quiz before, but it was several years ago now. So for those of us, I guess we can do a little, I guess we can.
SARAH: I think I took it recently, like in the past, like months.
KAYLA: Oh, well
SARAH: I don't know why.
KAYLA: For those of you who don't know, we're on fivelovelanguages.com. Apparently it's a book. Again, so according to the premises, different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways. By learning to recognize these preferences in yourself and in your loved ones, you can learn to identify the root of your conflicts, connect more profoundly, and truly begin to grow closer. Oh, Gary! Oh, jump scare. Do you ever see like a doctor of people? Not like a doctor doctor, but a doctor, you know?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And they always look like that. And it's a jump scare every time.
SARAH: I gotta see Gary.
KAYLA: Go to the learn. I don't mean to shame what people look like.
SARAH: He looks like a turtle.
KAYLA: They always look like that. Do you remember my professor in college, Thad?
SARAH: (laughing) Yes.
KAYLA: It's giving Thad.
SARAH: He looks like a turtle, and that's not inherently a bad thing. I like turtles.
KAYLA: No, but. It was a jump scare. You know, there was all these like nice stock images of people being in love, and then there was Gary, you know?
SARAH: I think we should stop roasting Gary.
KAYLA: I'm sorry, Gary. I'm sorry. Anyway, we're going to do the quiz. And then we can discuss.
SARAH: Do we want to start by explaining what the love languages are?
KAYLA: I suppose we can.
SARAH: Okay, we've got, there's something wrong with my mouse.
(laughter)
SARAH: That's one of the love languages. Broken technology.
KAYLA: That's my favorite one.
SARAH: No, okay. Our love languages are acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation. And I would love to get to the fifth one if my mouse worked.
KAYLA: It's physical touch.
SARAH: It's physical touch.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: And you don't have to have the same love languages as the people around you, but if you know what those love languages are, it can help you to better be like, I'm showing you my appreciation by showering you with gifts. And they're like a minimalist, and they're like, I don't want all these trinkets.
KAYLA: Yes. So it helps you know how the people around you want to receive the love.
SARAH: Exactly. So we're going to start by taking this little quiz.
KAYLA: Yes. So yeah the quiz, you answer a bunch of questions, and then it tells you like what your levels are, like which one works best for you, which one works least. How do you describe yourself? I'm an adult.
SARAH: I'm also an adult.
KAYLA: This is so interesting.
SARAH: You said that you're a 26 year old teenager. No, you're a 26 year old teenage girl. No, that's what I said.
KAYLA: Yes, I'm a 26 year old teenage girl. I love that I'm taking this quiz for my child. I just, I can't imagine a child doing this quiz. I don't know.
SARAH: I did those like, what color are you quizzes when I was a child?
KAYLA: As a child?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I don't remember anything like that.
SARAH: I was orange.
KAYLA: Oh, good for you.
SARAH: I don't know that I'm still orange.
KAYLA: Uh huh. Maybe we can, we'll do that in the next episode.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I'm an adult. Okay. I am in a relationship.
SARAH: I am single.
KAYLA: It's more, we should do this together, yes?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Read it aloud? Okay. It's more meaningful to me when I receive a loving note slash text slash email for no special reason from my loved one or my partner and I hug.
SARAH: You know, this is really interesting. Mine is phrased differently because I answered the last question differently.
KAYLA: Interesting. What does yours say?
SARAH: So mine says it's more meaningful to me when someone I love sends me a loving note text email for no special reason or I hug someone I love.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: That is interesting.
KAYLA: Well, I am going to pick the note one.
SARAH: Me too. I don't particularly like either.
KAYLA: Sarah does not love a hug.
SARAH: I, see, here's, here's my problem though, is I have become known for not being a hug person.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And when I'm like, oh, I need physical contact, I feel weird asking for it and no one gives it to me because they don't think I want it.
KAYLA: This is why when Sarah and I lived together, sometimes she would just come sit on me for a while.
SARAH: Yep. Sometimes you just gotta.
KAYLA: And that would be, she would soak up all the physical touch she needed and then she'd
be good for like a month.
SARAH: Yep. Yep. Alright, next question. It is more meaningful to me when I can spend alone time with someone I love just us or someone I love does something practical to help me out.
KAYLA: Mine says my partner.
(10:00)
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So, which like I get, but I feel like it might be, I feel like it would be more helpful if it was more general.
SARAH: Yeah, because this seems like you're just trying to…
KAYLA: figure out like my romantic love language.
SARAH: Yeah, and also it only really applies to that partner
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: whereas this one is broader.
KAYLA: Yeah, it could be different based on the person.
SARAH: It could be.
KAYLA: Which am I gonna choose?
SARAH: I'm gonna say spend time.
KAYLA: I'm gonna say do something practical to help me out. And here's the problem with this being a relationship thing because me and Dean live together
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And we spend like a decent amount of time, just the two of us. So, it's like, I don't need that as much but when me and Dean were long distance, I probably would have clicked that one.
SARAH: Yeah. I just live far away from everyone.
KAYLA: This is true. You do.
SARAH: Alright, next question.
KAYLA: It's more meaningful to me when my partner gives me a little gift as a token of our love for each other or I get to spend uninterrupted leisure time with my partner.
SARAH: Did you read that word for word?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Because mine, the first one, it says someone I love gives me a little gift as a token of our love. It says our love of concern. I think that's a typo. I think it's supposed to say our love or concern.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: For each other. But it's interesting that mine says concern
KAYLA: and yours is concern. Yeah, this is weird. Interesting.
SARAH: But the other one is just like with those I love versus with her.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'm going to go for leisure time because I'm very hard to give gifts to.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: And it's unlikely that you'll get it right.
KAYLA: That's true. I'm going to say gift, but I don't mean it so much as gift as just like expensive gift of just like anything. Like, oh, I saw this and thought of you.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Or like, here's a pop. You know what I mean?
SARAH: Yeah. It's more meaningful to me when someone I love does something unexpected for me to help me with the project or I share an innocent touch with someone I love.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: What does yours say?
KAYLA: I wonder why they had to put, mine doesn't, the first one's basically this, oh no. The first one says my partner unexpectedly does something for me like filling my car during the laundry. The second one is my partner and I touch. They took the innocent.
SARAH: That's vague. That's so vague.
KAYLA: Away. They said not innocent.
SARAH: Like it could be like phone home ET.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Or it could be.
KAYLA: Making a kiss.
SARAH: Many other things.
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm going to say unexpectedly does something.
SARAH: Me also. It is more meaningful to me when someone I love puts their arm around me in public or someone I love surprises me with a gift. I'd rather die than you put your arm around me in public.
KAYLA: I'll keep that in mind.
SARAH: That's all.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: What are you saying?
KAYLA: I'm saying that one. That one's, that seems nice.
SARAH: Weirdo
KAYLA: I didn't know we were shaming in this episode. Okay. Alright.
SARAH: It's more meaningful to me when I'm around someone I love, even if we're not really doing anything, or I can be comfortable holding hands, high-fiving or putting my arm around someone I love.
KAYLA: Mine just says I hold hands with my partner for the second one.
SARAH: They're really. No high fives for you.
KAYLA: No, we do not high five in this household. I'm going to say the first one.
SARAH: It's not more meaningful to me when I high five either, so I'm not saying that.
KAYLA: That’s fair.
SARAH: It's more meaningful to me when I received a gift from someone I love or I hear from someone I love that they love me.
KAYLA: I'm going to choose the love one.
SARAH: I think me too, but with the caveat that it can't be from someone in your family.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: The reason for that being, A, either they say it a lot, so you're just like, oh yeah,
that's a thing you say, or it feels like an obligation, and so it's more meaningful when it comes from someone when it does not feel like they're saying it out of obligation. Not to say that my family doesn't actually love me.
KAYLA: That's the sense I'm getting.
SARAH: It's a different experience hearing it from someone who… y'all get it, right?
KAYLA: Yeah, I get it.
SARAH: It is more meaningful
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: to me
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: when I sit close to someone I love or I'm complimented by someone I love for no apparent reason. That's really broad. What kind of compliment is it?
KAYLA: What do you mean? How many kinds of...
SARAH: Is it like, you look really hot today, or is it like, I think you are a very intelligent person and you're going to do a lot in life?
KAYLA: Well, I've either… I don't know.
SARAH: What if it's like, I like your nail polish versus…
(15:00)
KAYLA: Well, okay, take the lowest level of compliment you can think of. Would you rather that or sitting close to someone?
SARAH: Probably compliment.
KAYLA: Yeah, I thought so.
SARAH: Sitting close to someone is fine sometimes
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: when I want to.
KAYLA: But sometimes you're like, I'm overstimulated right now.
SARAH: No, fuck away from me.
KAYLA: Get away. I'm also going to choose a compliment.
SARAH: Oh no, we're going way too slow. It's more meaningful to me when I get the chance to...
KAYLA: Oh God, there's so many left.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Yeah, we got to pick it up.
SARAH: I get the chance to just hang out with someone I love or unexpectedly get small gifts from someone I love, me hang out.
KAYLA: I'm going to say small gifts.
SARAH: It's more meaningful when I hear someone I love tell me I'm proud of you or someone I love helps me with a task. I don't know.
KAYLA: This one's hard. Okay, did my partner help me with the task without me asking or did I ask? Because to me, if I didn't ask and they still help, that's worth more than if I did ask and they do. You know what I mean?
SARAH: Right. Also, it's like, are they helping because they feel like I am incapable of doing it by myself or are they helping because they just want to do something nice?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Also, if they help me too much, they might enable me to get lazy. I'm going to say the first one.
KAYLA: Oh my God. We're thinking way too… You're not supposed to think about these this much.
SARAH: Nope.
KAYLA: I'm going to say help me with a task.
SARAH: Okay. I get to do things with someone I love or I hear supportive words from someone I love. Things.
KAYLA: Words.
SARAH: Someone I love does things for me instead of just talking about doing nice things or I feel connected to someone I love through a hug. Why would I hug someone?
KAYLA: Does things.
SARAH: Does things. I hear praise from someone I love or someone I love gives me something that shows they're really thinking about me. I'm going to say praise, I guess.
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm going to say praise, I think.
SARAH: Just because I don't trust a gift.
KAYLA: (laughing) Oh my God.
SARAH: It might be bad. It might be a bad gift, even if they're thinking about me. It might be bad.
KAYLA: It might be bad.
SARAH: I'm able to just be around someone I love or I get a back rub from someone I love. I'm able to just be around them.
KAYLA: I'm taking the back rub. I want a massage. Give me the back rub.
SARAH: I do too, but like not, you're not a professional. Get away from me.
KAYLA: I personally would rather have someone I know than a professional, but that's on.
SARAH: I've never actually had a real massage. So I don't…
KAYLA: It's nice. It's a good time.
SARAH: I mean, except at physical therapy. Physical therapy reasons. Someone I love reacts positively to something I've accomplished or someone I love does something for me that I know they don't particularly enjoy. The second one.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It might make me feel a little bit guilty, but that's a personal problem.
KAYLA: True.
SARAH: I'm able to be in close physical proximity to someone I love or I sense someone I love showing interest in the things I care about. Second one.
KAYLA: Interesting. My first one is my partner and I kiss frequently. That's interesting that that's what they translated it to for you.
SARAH: Interesting. My neurodivergent ass wants you to be interested in my obsession.
KAYLA: I’m going to choose the second.
SARAH: Someone I love works on special projects with me that I have to complete or someone I love gives me an exciting gift. Special projects.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'm complimented by someone I love in my appearance or someone I love takes the time to listen to me and really understand my feelings.
KAYLA: I’m going to say the feelings.
SARAH: That would require me saying things to them. But yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'll give it that one as well.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I can share a meaningful touch in public with someone I love or someone I love offers to run errands for me. Run errands every day. Are you fucking kidding?
KAYLA: Mine says my partner and I share non-sexual touch in public. I don't know why they had to do that caveat when they didn't earlier.
SARAH: Listen, non-sexual touch in public? We're not asking about exhibitionism here.
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm going to say the errands though. I love when people do errands for me.
SARAH: Someone I love does something special for me to help me out or I get a gift that someone I love put thought into choosing. Special thing.
KAYLA: My first one is my partner does a bit more than their normal share of the responsibilities we share around the house, work related, et cetera. What if you don't live together?
SARAH: Yeah. That’s very presumptuous
KAYLA: I’m going to choose that one though. It is.
SARAH: Someone I love doesn't check their phone when we're talking with each other or someone I love goes out of their way to do something that relieves pressure on me.
KAYLA: I'm going to say the second one.
SARAH: I'm going to say the second one too because just because they're
(20:00)
SARAH: checking their phone doesn't mean they're not paying attention to you.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I can look forward to a holiday because I'll probably get a gift from someone I love or I hear the words that I appreciate you from someone I love. Just don't ever give me a gift.
KAYLA: I'm going to choose the appreciate one too.
SARAH: Someone I love and haven't seen in a while thinks enough of me to give me a little gift or someone I love takes care of something I'm responsible to do but feel stressed to do at the time. Hard second one. I'm too stressed to do everything.
KAYLA: See, my first one is my partner brings me a little gift after they've traveled without me. That's different.
SARAH: Yeah, that is different.
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm going to do the stressful one.
SARAH: It's more meaningful when someone I love doesn't interrupt me while I'm talking or gift giving is an important part of a relationship with someone I love. I'm going to have to go with it doesn't interrupt but it's very hypocritical of me.
KAYLA: I was just going to say, especially with Dean, I have a really, really bad habit of interrupting him, especially when he's telling stories to other people that I know I just can't hold it in and then I start telling the story, he gets so fucking mad at me.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So I'm also going to say that but yeah, I really have no right.
SARAH: Yeah. Someone I love helps me out when they know I'm already tired or I get to go somewhere while spending time with someone I love.
KAYLA: I'm going to say helps me out.
SARAH: I'm going to say go somewhere because I'm always tired and what does help me out mean?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Someone I love touches my arm or shoulder to show their care of concern. Don't fucking touch me. Or if someone I love gives me a little gift that they picked up in the course of the normal day, two things I hate.
KAYLA: My first one is my partner and I are physically intimate, which again, I think they're using it. Who are we talking with about how intimate is like a word people use when they shouldn't?
SARAH: It was with Aline, wasn't it?
KAYLA: I think it was. I am going to choose that one. I'm sorry.
SARAH: I'm going to choose the little gift because if it's a little gift, that means it probably wasn't very expensive and I don't have to feel that bad if I don't like it or it's food and I can eat that.
KAYLA: That's so true.
SARAH: Someone I love says something encouraging to me or I get to spend time in a shared activity or hobby. Shared activity or hobby.
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm going to pick that one too.
SARAH: Someone I love surprises me with a small token of their appreciation or I'm touching someone I love frequently to express our friendship. Frequently? I don't like that. Small token. Small tokens are okay.
KAYLA: I'll say the touch one.
SARAH: Someone I love helps me out, especially if I know they're already busy or I hear someone I love tell me they appreciate me. I think someone helps me out, especially if I know they're really busy.
KAYLA: I'm going to say that too.
SARAH: I get a hug from someone who I haven't seen in a while or I hear someone I love tell me how much I mean to him or her or them. Excuse you.
KAYLA: Mine says them. I hear my partner say how much I mean to them.
SARAH: Damn.
KAYLA: Damn. Only partners can be non-binary.
SARAH: I think this is actually the one where I am going to say the hug because
KAYLA: Makes sense
SARAH: I haven't seen you in a while and also I would rather walk across hot coals than have someone look me in the eye and tell me how much I mean to them.
KAYLA: That's a lot to unpack.
SARAH: It can be done over text.
KAYLA: Oh my God. I'm going to say how much I mean to them.
SARAH: Alright.
KAYLA: Is this done yet?
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Mine. Oh, okay. That's why it's loading. Okay. Nice.
SARAH: We did it.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: What did you get? What did you think I got?
KAYLA: What do I think you got? I think ours are pretty similar.
SARAH: They're probably pretty similar. Probably. I think the pie chart is maybe a little more extreme for me, but I think they're similar in terms of makeup.
KAYLA: Yeah. Okay. My top one is acts of service at 40%. Words of affirmation, 23%. I was expecting that to be a little higher, but quality time, 17%. Physical touch, 13%, receiving gifts, 7%.
SARAH: There's actually more of a variety here than I expected.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: So my top one is quality time, 37%.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Acts of service, 30%. Words of affirmation, 20%. Receiving gifts, 10%. Physical touch, 3%.
KAYLA: The one question you answered yes to touch.
SARAH: So mine is quality time.
KAYLA: Do you want to read the little?
SARAH: Sure. In quality time, TM. Trademark.
(25:00)
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: Nothing says I love you like full undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all the chores and tasks on standby makes you feel truly special and loved. Distracts post… Woah. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful whether it's spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time. Wow.
KAYLA: Wow. So my top one is acts of service. So it says, can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely. Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an acts of service person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear, let me do that for you. Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this love language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
SARAH: Mine's different.
KAYLA: (gasps) What is it?
SARAH: Well, first of all, instead of vacuuming, can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: Implies you're in school. And then the last sentence is, when others serve you out of love and not obligation, you feel truly valued and loved.
KAYLA: Wow. Interesting. My quality time one is like the same as yours, I feel like.
SARAH: Interesting. I do want to read the receiving gifts one because I think it gets a bad rap.
KAYLA: I agree.
SARAH: So it says, don't mistake this love language for materialism. The receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous. So would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else's love and affection for you.
KAYLA: Interestingly, mine, so mine just added a missed birthday, anniversary or a hasty, thoughtless gift. It's funny.
SARAH: I'm very bad at giving gifts.
KAYLA: Same.
SARAH: I, it was recently my mother's birthday. Did I remember to get her a gift? No. Did I remember to get her like a card? No.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: And now I'm like, damn, well, what do I do about that?
KAYLA: Get her something. Now.
SARAH: Like what?
KAYLA: Sarah, she's not my mother. I don't know. Things I know about Julie are she loves BTS. She has a new knee.
SARAH: She loves fibers.
KAYLA: She loves fibers and the arts surrounding them.
SARAH: She always, she's always buying new things, new craft things. And every time they come in the mail, my dad's like, your new craft things are here because she keeps, they come every day in the mail.
KAYLA: Well, I feel like this gives you a lot of options.
SARAH: No, I'm so bad at giving gifts.
KAYLA: Okay. I wouldn't, I wouldn't even say I'm bad at it. I just like, don't think about it.
SARAH: I have one inspired gift per year.
KAYLA: Yeah you do
SARAH: Not, not per person.
KAYLA: Per year
SARAH: Total per year.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: And I will get that gift for the person, even if there is no gift giving occasion nearby.
KAYLA: You have to let it out. The inspiration.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And beyond that, like I'm absolutely the kind of person who like Christmas comes around and I just am like, what do you want for Christmas? Tell me what you want. Tell me exactly what you want and I will buy it.
KAYLA: Yeah. Studies actually show that that like people appreciate that more than like a random gift. Like if people have a list of like, here's all the things I want, they appreciate more when someone just goes off the list than being like, here, I thought you would like this.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because what if they don't?
SARAH: Especially me, because I probably won't like it.
KAYLA: You probably won't. Yeah. Yeah. I, I just like, don't think about it. I don't know.
SARAH: I don't either. I don't, I also don't know if that's like a social.
KAYLA: Is it a mental illness?
SARAH: It might be a neurodivergent.
KAYLA: Can we blame it on that?
SARAH: It might be a neurodivergent social cue thing.
KAYLA: You know what I think it is for me? Is that often things that I'm not good at or don't like to do such as like buying plane tickets is because it seems like it's going to be way harder than it is.
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: And I think it's like the pressure of like, oh, it's going to take so long or like, it's so hard to think of anything. And so then I just like, don't do it at all because it's too stressful.
SARAH: That's very valid, which is why acts of service is important to you.
KAYLA: Yes. But as Dean, it's Dean's birthday coming up and I was really trying to force him to tell me what he wanted today in that.
SARAH: Did it not work?
KAYLA: Didn't happen. So I have, I have one thing I bought for him that I hope he likes. I don't fucking know, but then I don't know what else to do.
SARAH: Yeah. And the thing about gift giving too is that if someone gives me a gift for an occasion, I feel like I have to give them a gift for either that same occasion
(30:00)
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: or an equivalent occasion. And the gift itself has to be somewhat equivalent. And then it feels like a weird debt thing. And that's not what gift giving should feel like at all.
KAYLA: I think that's, I feel like I've heard other neurodivergent people explain it in a very similar way.
SARAH: Oh, is that, is that the neuro spicy?
KAYLA: I think it might be, like the thing of like having to be equivalent.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I feel like I've heard that.
SARAH: Not the neuro spicy.
KAYLA: You know what's interesting is like when I think about gift giving as like a love language for me, like it's not even like large gifts that I like. Like obviously I like getting things for my birthday and Christmas. Cause it's just like an excuse to be like, Oh, I've been wanting this. You buy it for me instead of me using my money.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But like it's honestly smaller things that I like more of just like, Oh, I was out at the grocery store and I got you this snack or like, which almost to me feels more like acts of service than actually gift giving.
SARAH: Yeah. Like I would feel much better if someone just was like, I got you a bag of Doritos.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Then, then if they're like, I got you this piece of jewelry. Like I would feel much better about that bag of Doritos. And also another thing for me is because I'm such a weird picky eater.
KAYLA: (laughing)
SARAH: Like I appreciate if people anticipate that and
KAYLA: yeah
SARAH: prepare accordingly without having to ask.
KAYLA: That's acts of service
SARAH: but that's acts of service. Like even if it involves them having to acquire more things, that's not, they're not like gifting me a hot dog.
KAYLA: Yeah. I don't know. Gifts. I feel like gifts being 7% is pretty accurate for me. Like I like gifts. I like birthday and Christmas for gifts, but on the day to day, I feel like it's not.
SARAH: I think the only reason that my receiving gifts is 10 and my physical touch is three is because when they're pitted head to head, I have to choose one.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And if I didn't have to choose one, I think receiving gifts would probably be a little bit lower.
KAYLA: Yeah, probably.
SARAH: And I'm bad at, I'm just gifts. I'm not good at it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay. Hi, this is Sarah from the future. I would just like to make a small addition because as I'm listening back to this, I need, I feel I need to defend myself. Okay. Part of the reason why I don't like receiving gifts is because since I'm so hard to shop for when I receive a gift, if I don't like it, I feel guilty because I feel like you've wasted your time and your money, especially on getting something for me that I am not going to use or appreciate. And so often for me receiving gifts, especially ones that I didn't indicate that I specifically wanted this thing, makes me feel guilty. And again, that is not what gift giving is supposed to be. Okay. Thank you. Goodbye.
SARAH: But if you or a partner or the people around you, if the people around me, I should, I check and make sure nobody is giving gifts love language because if they are
KAYLA: you're really letting me down.
SARAH: Hope my mom isn't. I don't think she's. My mom's definitely a quality time. She's a quality time gal.
KAYLA: I get that vibe.
SARAH: Yeah. Anyway, do we want to do the apology quiz quickly?
KAYLA: Sure. We have to be so quick though.
SARAH: We will be so quick about it. There's an apology language quiz.
KAYLA: Yeah. Okay wait. I have things to say about the love language.
SARAH: Yeah, sorry. Go ahead.
KAYLA: So what's interesting is like, I feel like love language definitely can change over time and circumstances because I'm pretty sure the last time I remember taking this was when I lived in Connecticut, which was like, I like didn't know a lot of people there, very rough time, whatever. I was doing long distance with like all of my friends and Dean. And I remember that my highest love language at that point was quality time. But now that I have a lot of quality time with at least the friends that I live with and Dean, who I live with, that has bumped down because I'm not like craving it as much.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You know what I mean?
SARAH: Kayla fucking hates me. She doesn't want to spend time with me.
KAYLA: That's not true.
SARAH: That’s just what this podcast is
KAYLA: You just look. Yeah. What do you think I'm doing here at 1120 PM? It's not for them.
SARAH: Okay. Apology language quiz very quickly?
KAYLA: Yeah. Quick, quick, quick.
SARAH: Okay. More meaningful to me
(35:00)
SARAH: when I hear someone say I deeply regret.
KAYLA: Wait, wait. I didn't click start yet.
SARAH: I can still read. More meaningful to me when I hear someone say I deeply regret having embarrassed you like I did or our friendship is really important to me. Will you please forgive me? I don't like that they're like, please forgive me, but I do like that our friendship is really important to me.
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm going to choose the second one. The hard thing about these for me is like, these are clearly different circumstances that we're apologizing for.
SARAH: Yeah, that's fair.
KAYLA: So like, how am I supposed to compare? But I'm also going to pick the second one.
SARAH: It's more meaningful when someone says, okay, I admit it, I made a big mistake or I want to grow from this experience. Would you be willing to help me figure out steps to handle this type of situation better? I think the second one because the second one implies that they understand that they've made a big mistake.
KAYLA: Let me tell you why I'm not choosing the second one.
SARAH: Really?
KAYLA: Because this is the sentiment that I hear very often from the people who need to apologize to me. I've had several experiences in my life where there are people in my life who continually need to apologize to me.
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: And this is always the things they say because they know it sounds good.
SARAH: It also puts it on you.
KAYLA: And then you know what they never do? They never get better at it.
SARAH: It also puts it on you to help.A nd you know what? You may have changed my mind.
KAYLA: Yeah. I have heard the second one and it sounds good the first time.
SARAH: It does sound good
KAYLA: You're like, oh my God, what a healthy person. And then you hear it for the fifth time and you're like, I'm actually so tired.
SARAH: Yeah, you're right. I've changed my mind. Going for the first one.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: It's more meaningful when someone tells me, what can I do or say to make things right between you and me? Or I had a bad attitude and it showed I should have thought more about what I was doing.
KAYLA: The second one.
SARAH: The second one. Yeah.
KAYLA: The first one. Stop making me do the work in this apology.
SARAH: Yeah. Absolutely not. Also, just like… Derogatory?
KAYLA: That sounds like a man apologizing. And it implies that there's like a hurdle you need to jump over. And then after you jump over that hurdle, we'll be fine. And that's not how apologizing works.
SARAH: It's more meaningful when someone says, I don't want to do this again, so I will come up with ways to avoid mistakes like this in the future. Or I apologize for my actions, you obviously don't have to forgive me, but I hope you will.
KAYLA: First one. They're doing the work themselves. Also, the second one sounds kind of guilt trippy.
SARAH: That's true. Like, I appreciate that they're saying that you don't have to forgive me, but like… Yeah, I'm gonna go with the first one.
KAYLA: There's a better way to word it.
SARAH: Yeah. Can you possibly forgive me versus what can I do to mend our relationship? I do not like the phrasing of can you possibly forgive me.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't like either of these.
SARAH: I don't either, but I'm gonna go with the second one.
KAYLA: I'm going with the first one.
SARAH: Can you… I don't...
KAYLA: I’m sorry
SARAH: I don't owe you an answer to the question of whether I forgive you right now. That's stupid. Okay. More meaningful when someone says, I totally messed up. I could make excuses, but really I have no good excuse for my actions. Or you have every right to hold this against me, but will you please consider forgiving me? The first one all day. You're asking me to be like, please, please, please, you're making it about yourself.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's weird.
SARAH: And also, like a lot of times when you fuck up, like you, you don't really have a good reason for it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And like, you know, you want to make excuses and you can say things to explain the situation, but like, it's better to be like, look, I can give you those reasons
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: but I also know that they don't change anything.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'd like to make things better between us. What can I do to make things right versus you don't have to answer immediately, but will you consider forgiving me for making this mistake? I hate both of them.
KAYLA: I'm going to choose the second one because at least they said you don't have to answer immediately.
SARAH: I think I have just such a strong aversion to someone asking to be forgiven that I'm
going to go with the first one.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Um, I want to ask you to forgive me or it deeply pains me to see you hurting like this. I don't like either.
KAYLA: The second one is not an apology.
SARAH: Well, it's, they're not, not all of these are apologies. They're just…
KAYLA: oh, it's more meaningful to me to hear those words from someone. I guess… second one.
SARAH: The second one, because it, it acknowledges what you're going through. Whereas the first one? (mumbling) forgive me
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SARAH: Um, I really messed up this time. Can we miss the deadline because of me, very specific
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: or can we back up and let me try to fix this? I really want to mend the damage I've caused. Is this the same situation?
KAYLA: I'm going to say, I'm going to go with yes. It's the same situation. Because how else would you compare?
SARAH: Cause like, is that something that can be backed up and fixed?
KAYLA: You know, not if it's a deadline, right? I'm going to do the second one. I don't know.
SARAH: Honestly, I'm going to go with the first one. I can't tell you why. I'm upset with myself over how I handle our disagreement. I cringe when I recall the way I acted
(40:00)
SARAH: or I know what I've been doing is not helpful. What would you like to see me change that would make this better for you? I – don't put it on me. First one.
KAYLA: Yeah, no, first one.
SARAH: I know what I did was wrong or I'm so sorry. I feel terrible that I let you down.
KAYLA: Second one.
SARAH: Yeah, me too. What changes could I put into place that you might begin to trust me going forward or hope this won't permanently damage our working relationship. Will you please accept my apology? Fuck you. First one.
KAYLA: Second one.
SARAH: Because the first, it is kind of putting it on you, but also it's like, so that you might begin to trust me. It's not saying like, what can I do to get your forgiveness?
KAYLA: Yeah, it's not.
SARAH: What can I do to move towards that?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I can see my actions cause you pain and I feel terrible about what I did. Is there anything I can do to repair the damage I've created?
KAYLA: First one.
SARAH: First one, because I don't know how to answer the second question.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: If I had only thought about what I was doing, I would have realized it was wrong or I know that I've caused you a significant amount of trouble. I would greatly appreciate it. Stop asking for forgiveness. Oh my God.
KAYLA: I don't like the first one that I don't, I don't quite get that. It's like, oh, if I had thought about it, I wouldn't like why, why, why weren’t you thinking about it?
SARAH: it implies you were never thinking and that you were fully aware all along that it was the wrong thing to do.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But you did it anyway because you neglected to think.
KAYLA: Yeah. I would have rather you think it was the right thing at the time and then, you know what I mean? Maybe. I don't know. I'm choosing the second one.
SARAH: I'm going to go with the first one, but that one, that was a tough call. I'm truly grieved and sorry for my actions plus the ways they affected you. Or if I'm ever again upset with you, I promise to gather my thoughts and approach you directly and respectfully. I think the second one because it shows, yeah, a different, like it's, it's…
KAYLA: they have a plan.
SARAH: They have a plan. They have an action plan.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me or I simply should not have done that. Simply should not have done that. The second one.
KAYLA: Yeah. I like the wording of that actually. They know what they did.
SARAH: I realize that talk is cheap, I'll work to show you that I'm changing or is there anything I can do to make up for what I did? The first one.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'm really embarrassed about my behavior and I'm so, so sorry. No ifs, ands, or buts. I admit that I was wrong. Second one.
KAYLA: I have something about the wording of the second one is too unserious for me. I'm choosing the first one.
SARAH: Okay. I apologize. Will you please forgive me or going forward, I will manage my time and prioritize my schedule so that I won't have the same difficulties. Um, honestly, I don't like either because the second one sounds like something that you would read in a corporate handbook, um, but I think the, um, the intention is there.
KAYLA: Yeah. The sentiment.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I'll do the second one.
SARAH: I want so badly to avoid this type of error again. Let's talk about what I can do in the future to follow through on my commitments or I don't feel right just saying my bad. I want to make up for what I've done. What would you consider appropriate? They're both… making it work
KAYLA: bad, but you know what? The first one, they want to also be part of the conversation.
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA: It's a conversation, not just like telling you. I'm doing that.
SARAH: Me too. Um, I know my actions are totally unacceptable. I own that. Or it stresses me out to know that you had to stand here waiting on me. I regret the frustration and worry that I caused you. The first one, because I don't like the phrasing of I regret the frustration and worry that I caused you because that's not an apology.
KAYLA: Yeah no
SARAH: And I feel like if you're going to use that phrase, like the frustration and worry I caused you, you need to like apologize for that.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I know that I've inconvenienced you what can I do for you that would help out
things out? Or I'm unhappy with how I've hurt you, I'm enormously disappointed in myself. I don't like either because I don't like the fact that you're just like shitting on yourself unless I hate you as a person.
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm going to do the first one.
SARAH: Yeah. Also the first one implies that you're like doing a thing, like an action
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: an act rather than just being like, I'm going to write you a poem about how sad I am. Um, okay. What can I do to make the situation right for you immediately? Or it may take some time to rebuild your trust in me. Meanwhile, I'll be working hard on changes to prove that I'm trustworthy. The second one, because you can't fucking solve it immediately.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It's more meaningful when someone says, I am so sorry about that. I feel truly awful about having disappointed you, or saying I'm sorry doesn't feel like it's enough. What more can I say or do to make this up to you?
KAYLA: I'm going to say the first one.
SARAH: I'm going to say the first one because the saying I'm sorry doesn't feel like it is enough is valid, but figure it out yourself.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I'm confident that everything I've learned from this bad experience will prevent me from doing it again.
(45:00)
SARAH: Or I know what I did was inappropriate, no two ways about it. Inappropriate?
KAYLA: I don't like either of these.
SARAH: I don't either. I don't like the phrasing of I'm confident because you shouldn't be this confident already.
KAYLA: Yeah. You shouldn't be this confident already.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I guess I'll do the second one. Oh, three options.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: My next question is three options.
SARAH: I don't have a next question.
KAYLA: (gasps) tie breaker tie breaker!
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Mine is so it says it's more meaningful to me when I hear someone say, I deeply regret having embarrassed you like I did. I want to grow from this experience. Would you be willing to help me figure out steps to handle this type of situation better? Or I've really messed up this time. We missed the deadline. Oh, so they're old ones, but I must have a tie. I don't like any of these.
SARAH: What's your least hated?
KAYLA: My least hated I think is the deadline one. Because they're like owning up to exactly what their mistake was.
SARAH: Do you have your?
KAYLA: wow, that was exhilarating to have an extra question.
SARAH: Alright. My results are
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: accept responsibility 36%, planned change 28%, expressing regret 20%, make restitution 12%. I'm curious about what, like I understand what that means, but I want to know how they describe it. And then request forgiveness 4%.
KAYLA: Mine is accept responsibility 27%, expressing regret 23%, planned change 23%, request forgiveness 19%, make restitution 8%. I'm guessing make restitution is the kind that I like really hate.
SARAH: Probably. Let's pull up. Alright. Make restitution. In some relationships, a mate wants to hear their partner physically ask for forgiveness. They want assurance that their mate recognizes the need for forgiveness. Why do you keep saying mate?
KAYLA: Yeah I don’t like that
SARAH: Asking for forgiveness. Oh, I'm fully reading the wrong one.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: In our society, we live in a society, and so does she. In our society, many people believe that wrong acts demand justice. One who commits the crime should pay for their wrongdoing. A mate who speaks this love language feels the same towards apologies.
They believe that in order to speak sincerely, the person who is apologizing should justify their actions. The mate who's been hurt simply wants to hear that their mate still loves them. There are many effective ways to demonstrate sincerity in apology. Each mate must learn the other's love language in order to complete the act of restitution. Though some mates may feel as though all is forgotten with a bouquet of flowers, that may not necessarily work for all mates. Every mate should uncover what their partner's main love language is, they're really going ham on buying your book, I respect the hustle, and use that specific language in order to make restitutions in the most effective way. For a mate whose primary apology language is making restitutions, no matter how often you say I'm sorry or I was wrong, your mate will never find the apology sincere. You must show strong efforts for making amends. A genuine apology will be accompanied by the assurance that you still love your mate and have a desire to right the wrongdoings committed.
KAYLA: See, this is interesting to me because this is my lowest one and like this sounds good to me, but I'm wondering if the way that they wrote it was like, oh, what can I do to fix it?
SARAH: Yeah, I'm having that same experience where like reading that
KAYLA: I’m like great
SARAH: I'm surprised it's so low. Yeah, like I'm surprised that it's lower than expressing regret for me.
KAYLA: Yeah, but I think it's because I think it was the way it was raised.
SARAH: I think they worded it wrong.
KAYLA: I think they're wording it in a way because they wanted to encompass all of the languages. Like they made it too vague.
SARAH: Yeah. Alright, y'all, we just had to do a little stop and jump back in and we could not remember what we were talking about. And Kayla meant to say restitution and she said reparations.
KAYLA: They're very similar words.
SARAH: So that's where we're at. Anyway, do we have anything else we want to say? Shall we call it?
KAYLA: Yeah, I think, I don't know, I think love languages and doing this quiz is like, I feel like it sounds corny and it sounds like it's just another one of those like stupid quizzes
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: but I do feel like it actually is super helpful and not just in romantic relationships.
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Like it is weird that they changed the wording based on if you're single or not, but I do also appreciate that they made it accessible to people not in romantic relationships because it would have been very easy for them to be like, this is only for romance.
SARAH: Right. This is only for you and your partner.
KAYLA: Yeah. And I do genuinely think this is stuff that's really good to know.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And also, I don't know, I would be very interested to know like if aspecs on the whole like have physical touch, for example, like lower.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Obviously, for us, it's both lower in our five.
(50:00)
SARAH: But that doesn't mean that's true of all aspecs, yeah.
KAYLA: No, right. Yeah. But I think it would be interesting to know. But yeah, I don't know.
SARAH: Yeehaw.
KAYLA: Yee haw
SARAH: Alright. Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Well here's the problem is I want to ask people what their top love language is, but there's five options and I don't, well, let me see. I feel like on Instagram, maybe you can do five, I can't remember. The gram, let's do a little look. Fuck. You can only do four. I thought for sure you could do five. Well, we can do an open version.
SARAH: Yeah. What if, I was gonna say like, what if you combined the two most similar, but that's…
KAYLA: oh wait, there's a quiz. Can we do five answers on a quiz? Nope. Okay. You know what we could do though? There's the slider, right?
SARAH: Yeah. Five sliders.
KAYLA: Do the slider. Oh wait, can you do multiple sliders? No, only one, but we can, okay.
SARAH: Put each one at a point in the slider.
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I'm gonna do that.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I don't know how good that is, but it's either that or an open-ended one and that's no fun, I feel like.
SARAH: Yeah, we'll find out. All right.
KAYLA: Who’s to say?
SARAH: What else is there? And like when you do it, it does say like, oh, this is the average answer. So like, if there's one that's leading, we'll be able to see that.
KAYLA: I guess
SARAH: Like people who slide will also be able to see that.
KAYLA: Yeah, but it's also the average.
SARAH: So it's, listen. This isn't science.
KAYLA: Should I just take out? Let's just take out physical touch. But I want to know about that. Okay, wait. You know what I could do?
SARAH: You could combine like acts of service and or…
KAYLA: You know what we could do is make two and one has three and the other has two.
SARAH: Or, well, what you should do, okay, do two. One has three and then a fourth option for one of the other options.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: And then the other one just has the two.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: So complicated anyway, Kayla, you're not prepared. Are you writing something down or can I ask what your beef and your juice is?
KAYLA: No, I'm not. I'm going to remember this one.
SARAH: Are you?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay. Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My beef is that it rained all 4th of July and then today, the day after 4th of July, it was perfect and sunny. Not that I wanted to be patriotic, but like we were going to do outside activities with our day off and then we couldn't.
SARAH: Yeah. My family celebrated on the 2nd and it was raining all day on the 2nd.
KAYLA: My juice is, yep
SARAH: yeah. My juice is that I started a book on the plane.
KAYLA: Oh, wow
SARAH: I started One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston, a book that came out in 2021, which I pre-ordered.
KAYLA: (laughs)
SARAH: It is 2023. I just started it.
KAYLA: Good. Good.
SARAH: My other juice is I bought more forks at Target because my house, we never have enough clean forks and my solution to that is just get more forks, very slayful. My other juice is that I am an enamel erosion warrior and my sister made me a bracelet indicating that I am an enamel erosion warrior.
KAYLA: I love all the bracelets your sister has made you.
SARAH: My dentist told me that I was fighting enamel erosion. I was doing a very good job of it and that's hard and not to brag, but I did that. My beef is that I now have nothing to look forward to.
KAYLA: Uh
SARAH: Now that we've come back from our little book event and I was in Michigan and now I'm back and now it's like, well, what am I going to look forward to now?
KAYLA: Yeah, you don't have a next thing planned.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That's fair.
SARAH: You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your love language on our social media @SoundsFakePod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/SoundsFakePod. If your love language is giving gifts in the form of money.
KAYLA: Thank you. Do it.
SARAH: Thank you.
KAYLA: To us.
SARAH: Our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Amanda Kyker, Anna Gervacio. That's how I've decided it's pronounced. I don't think you ever told me.
KAYLA: I don’t–
SARAH: If you did and I didn't know, I'm sorry. Anna Gervacio, Ariel Laxo, Ashley W and Bookmarvel, our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are my broken fucking mouse. Are Koolin who would like to promote Evan Giia, Maggie Capalbo who would like to promote their puppy Ezra Bean, Martin Chiesl who would like to promote his podcast Everyone's Special and No One Is, Mattie who would like to promote Gender Euphoria and Potater who would like to promote Potatoes. Our other $10 patrons are me doing my best are Purple Hayes, the Barefoot Backpacker, Ruby, SongOfStorm, The Steve, Zirklteo, Arcnes, Alyson, Ben MacLeod, Benjamin Ybarra, Boston Smith, David Harris, Derick and Carissa, Elle Bitter, My Aunt Jeannie and that's it. Are Jesus Christ on a cracker. Our $15 patrons are Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, look for Caroline who would like to promote Ace of Hearts, Dia Chappell, Twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive and help you grow as a better person, John Young who would like to promote… Instagram adding a 5th option on polls
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah
SARAH: Maff who would like to promote catching up on the Podcast, Nathaniel White and NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla's Aunt Nina who would like to promote KateMaggartArt.com, I got to meet Kayla's Aunt Nina, it was really exciting for both of us.
KAYLA: Yeah, she was very excited to meet you, it was a great time.
SARAH: You had met my Aunt Jeannie before.
KAYLA: Yes, that's true.
SARAH: And Sara Jones who's at Eternal Lolly Everywhere, our $20 patrons are Sabrina Hauck, Christmas and Dragonfly who would like to promote the end of this podcast, not the whole podcast, do this episode.
KAYLA: Yeah, ominous. Good God, jump scare.
SARAH: Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
(56:36)