Ep 266: r/RelationshipProblems
(00:00)
SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl. I'm Sarah, that's me.
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual- no.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Yes. And a bi-demisexual girl, that's me, Kayla.
SARAH: (laughing) Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand, including what our identity
KAYLA: (laughing) Our own identities
SARAH: is in the intro of this podcast.
KAYLA: On today's episode, relationship problems.
SARAH AND KAYLA: Sounds Fake But Okay.
(theme music)
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Okay, so the reason that I got confused is I've been processing old transcripts lately.
SARAH: (laughing)
KAYLA: And in the ones I've been processing, they're so old that I say I'm Demi-Straight, but then often the people transcribing don't know what the word Demi is, so they've been putting Dummy-Straight.
SARAH: Oh, no.
KAYLA: Which is fun because it's like, man, I'm Dummy-Straight.
SARAH: I'm Dummy-Straight. Dummy-Straight. Except you're not.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: You're bi.
KAYLA: You're bi. So that's why I got confused because I've been reading old ones, you know?
SARAH: I loave that for you. That was loave, not loathe, just for Bagel.
KAYLA: Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. On bagel's behalf.
SARAH: Bagel, can you get me bagels?
KAYLA: Yeah, Sarah does.
SARAH: I'm having a bagel problem.
KAYLA: She is.
SARAH: I mean, I could have gone to a store that I knew had bagels, but it was going to be inconvenient, so I didn't.
KAYLA: So brave.
SARAH: Anyway, how was our book event? You tell us.
KAYLA: Yeah, you tell us. How was our book giveaway?
SARAH: Did you win?
KAYLA: Did you win?
SARAH: How was everyone's Canada Day?
KAYLA: I did not know that was...
SARAH: How was everyone's upcoming Fourth of July?
KAYLA: Well, but that hasn't happened yet, so you can't...
SARAH: That's why I said upcoming.
KAYLA: But you said how was everyone's...
SARAH: How was upcoming. How was your upcoming, how was your future?
KAYLA: Mhm.
SARAH: I hope you have had a good time.
KAYLA: Mhm.
SARAH: Alright. Do we have any other housekeeping?
KAYLA: Nope
SARAH: Just a reminder that at the end of July, we go on summer break.
KAYLA: Yes. Yes, that's true.
SARAH: Give you some time to catch up on our pod.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Or not
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Both are completely valid options. Those are the two options that you have.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah, I can't really think of another alternative. You either do or you don't, you know?
SARAH: You do or you don't. There is no try. I guess you could listen to one episode that… You could listen to episodes you've listened to before, which I guess is a third option.
KAYLA: That's true. That's not catching up.But that's not catching up, so that's not the option.
SARAH: Yeah, that's true. It's either you're catching up or you're not catching up.
KAYLA: It's a binary for once.
SARAH: For once.
KAYLA: For once. The one binary we will allow.
SARAH: I can't wait for someone in the Discord to be like, actually, let me explain to you why it's not...
KAYLA: Mhm. Actually
SARAH: Yeah. Alright, cool. Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, we are solving the world's problems one Redditor at a time.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So we're really doing a lot of people a lot of services, I think.
SARAH: Shout out to my unpaid intern at work for this podcast idea.
KAYLA: He's now our unpaid intern.
SARAH: Yes, he said he was honored to also now be our unpaid intern. And I told him I would pay him just as much as we pay him at work. And he was ecstatic with that
KAYLA: Put that on his resume.
SARAH: Thanks, bestie.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: So we're going through, should I pull something up or are you...
KAYLA: I'm looking. I'm trying.
SARAH: Where are you?
KAYLA: I'm r/relationshipproblems. There's like not a lot of… I feel like, you know, we usually frequent, am I the asshole? And there's like a lot of engagement and a lot of comments. And that's how you can kind of find the good ones. Not a lot of engagement on this one.
SARAH: I see
KAYLA: So it's a little bit harder, but I found a couple that we can start with.
SARAH: I mean, the first one to me looks very aspec relevant.
KAYLA: That might be the one I was looking at.
SARAH: Probably. Go for it.
KAYLA: I, 24M, and my new girlfriend, 24F, of three months have sex drive problems. How can we solve this? This is from 50 minutes ago.
SARAH: 59.
KAYLA: Okay, on my computer it says 50.
SARAH: Okay, well, I loaded it just a moment ago.
KAYLA: Okay, it's 59 years old, so fresh. I skimmed this a little bit.
(05:00)
KAYLA: Wild from the start. He says, don't get me wrong, every time… And I mean every time that she is over at my house, we have sex. We don't have sex in public areas, car, fitting rooms, etc. Because that is not us and we are on the same page about that. We don't have sex at her place because she gets anxious with her parents around and we are on the same page about that. When she is at my place, we always have sex. She always finishes and I always finish. Our sex is great and she has recently been getting very, very upset that I don't initiate it. The day at my place usually goes like this. She comes over in the morning, I wash up, we end up doing it soon after. We both initiate it because we are hyenas
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: when it is the first time in the day. But then she wants it again an hour or a couple of hours later. Some days I can keep it up and we end up doing it three to five times that day.
SARAH: So many
KAYLA: Some days I can't. That's impressive really from like a physical standpoint alone.
SARAH: How many days a week is she coming over?
KAYLA: We don't know. But that would be helpful information actually.
SARAH: It would be.
KAYLA: Some days I can't. So this is what we argue about. We argue that when we do have sex, I don't initiate it because she gets horny before I do and it takes a lot longer for me to recharge. When we don't have sex, then I have rejected her and now she's even more mad. So I tried my best to compromise with her and to tell her to wait for me to recharge, but she says I'm making excuses and I don't want her. How should I go about this to fix it?
SARAH: Tell her to get her foot out of her ass or maybe put a foot in her ass if that would help her.
KAYLA: Yeah, rare L from the woman in these sex drive situations.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I feel like usually it's the man.
SARAH: If this were flip-flopped, everyone would be like, oh my God, you're forcing yourself onto her, blah, blah, blah.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And that is like, listen.
KAYLA: Yeah, I feel like it's usually the woman coming to places like Reddit being like, help. My boyfriend
SARAH: He’s a horndog
KAYLA: is trying to put pressure on me or whatever.
SARAH: This is wild to me too because it's not just like, oh, she wants to have sex every time she comes over and I don't necessarily want to have sex every time. It's like, no, we're having sex multiple times a day.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then she's upset with me that I don't want to go for a fourth round.
KAYLA: To me, this… And is the very aspec opinion, I realize. That this doesn't seem fixable to me or worth it to be honest.
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Obviously, I know nothing else about these people's relationship. But it seems like sex is a really high priority for this woman. That's all she wants to do. And obviously, it's not like they only hang out at his place.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: They go to public places together. They go to her parents' place. So obviously, they're spending some amount of time together not having sex. But it makes me wonder why is she dating this man?
SARAH: Either A, she has a really, really, really high sex drive, high libido. Libido and sex drive are the same thing?
KAYLA: Yes? We never know. But I want to say yes.
SARAH: Either she has a very high wanting sex all the many times.
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: And that's just genuinely what she wants and that is the way she's always been. Or she was in a previous relationship where that was expected of her.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And she thinks that that's what a healthy relationship looks like. Maybe a little bit of both.
KAYLA: It makes me wonder if she's been rejected a lot in sexual settings
SARAH: Maybe?
KAYLA: before because she says that. But she says, I'm making excuses that I do not want her. So maybe it makes her feel insecure.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Or he's saying, no, I'm not interested in you and really his dick, literally, that's not physically how dicks can work.
SARAH: I was about to say.
KAYLA: He literally does need time to recharge physically. Not even talking about mentally if that's a problem.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Physically, the dick needs time.
SARAH: If you're going to use the dick in a dick sex.
KAYLA: That’s my also – My other question is, is she demanding P in V sex? I feel like there's other things they could do
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: to satiate her hyena-like desires. Maybe that would be a recommendation of how to fix it. I don't know.
SARAH: Maybe. But also, if this guy doesn't want to have sex with her four times a day, he shouldn't have sex with her four times a day.
KAYLA: You know, and I think that's, yeah. Because you think about it, if the roles were reversed
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: it is not good
(10:00)
KAYLA: for her to be pressuring him in this way and continue asking and continue. That doesn't feel good.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And that is not consensual if you are repeatedly putting pressure on and asking. That's not great.
SARAH: And I also understand that if she has a really high sex drive, it might be hard to find a partner with which you are compatible. And it seems like in most ways, these two people are compatible.
KAYLA: You know what's another way to fix this?
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: She needs to move out of her parents' house.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because maybe if they could have sex more days of the week.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because it seems like she goes over in the morning at his place. It seems like it's an all-day thing.
SARAH: Yeah but maybe like over the weekend
KAYLA: But that can't be every day. Because what if they have work? It seems like she should be living in her own place or maybe they should live together because then they can have sex once a day, but every day.
SARAH: Which apparently some people do.
KAYLA: Because if she's only able to see him one day a week, say, she goes over for the weekend. And she's like, I have to get in my five times all today. But if they live together, then you could spread it out over the week and maybe his penis could recharge.
SARAH: It's also really interesting to me because he doesn't seem to resent her at all. He's like, our sex is great.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: In the morning, we both always really want to have sex because we're horndogs.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I think…
KAYLA: It's literally just he can't handle it.
SARAH: He cannot handle it. And I think if he can find a good way to communicate that to her and kind of get into her head that I do still want you.
KAYLA: I just physically… yeah
SARAH:I just don't want you five times a day. And that doesn't mean I like you any less.
KAYLA: Yeah, definitely communication is needed here. It seems like she is not understanding that he genuinely means it when he says, like, I can't do this.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: that's a tough one. Here's one. A classmate of mine, M19, got a tattoo of my name
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: but I'm already in a relationship. My boyfriend is so offended by that, but I don't think it's that big of a deal because it doesn't mean anything and I don't even talk to him. He is talking about beating him up. Is that okay that I'm kind of okay with that tattoo? And I think he's making this all about himself because he has past issues with that guy. He's talking about threatening to him to remove that tattoo and saying sorry to him. Like, is that serious? That guy never in my life caused any discomfort or crossed the line with me. I kind of feel pity for him and I feel guilty about pitying him because my boyfriend hates him to his guts.
SARAH: Okay, here's a question. First of all, it seems like this person doesn't really care that this person got their name tattooed on them, which is a little confusing to me.
KAYLA: Which is bizarre to me.
SARAH: But you do, boo. If this person really is comfortable with it, I guess fine. But the fact that the boyfriend thinks that this guy needs to apologize to him
KAYLA: Him? Yeah
SARAH: and not the person whose name he has tattooed, she doesn't belong to you.
KAYLA: So she's never interacted with this man. I don't even talk to him. But this man has previous issues with her boyfriend. Did he just do it to make the boyfriend mad?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: These are also like it seems like all 19 year olds.
SARAH: Yeah, I'm looking at these posts and a lot of them are just like in general. The posts in this Reddit are the subreddit seem to be younger people.
KAYLA: I don't know what to say about that one. Just thought I'd share.
SARAH: Okay, I found one that has people who are older. Oh, it's really long. Is it worth it? Whatever. We'll do it. Okay, my girlfriend, 30, and I, 31, broke up and I'm not sure was the right decision.
KAYLA: (gasps) Drama.
SARAH: TLDR. I pulled the trigger to break up with my girlfriend of four years after she had been uncertain about our future more than once. And I don't know if I did the right thing. For some context in history, we'd already broken up twice and got back the next day.
KAYLA: Okay red flag
SARAH: that's a, that's the red flag.
KAYLA: Numero uno.
SARAH: Both times were pretty much because of her insecurities towards me, finances and whatnot. A week ago, we got into a stupid argument, the small ones that couples get into all the time, senseless arguing. It was pretty much about boxing and the anatomy of a punch.
KAYLA: Um, yeah, if you're going to break over up over that, I don't know what to… Okay.
SARAH: She had her ideas about it and I have mine. She ended up saying, you're not even that good at boxing. And it sort of hurt my ego because I replied, I forgot that you have to be right because you're a pro athlete
(15:00)
SARAH: and the best trainer in the world. So you must be right. She's a personal trainer and actually a good one. I was being sarcastic.
KAYLA: (laughing) Oh my god
SARAH: Uh, uh, uh, what's, uh, what's that face that when it's when it's a slash.
KAYLA: Oh, the colon backslash?
SARAH: Yeah. Whatever that's called.
KAYLA: Yeah. Slanted face
SARAH: Um, yeah, I realize I hurt her feelings, but didn't think it would hurt her so bad as to make her rethink our relationship. We had been together for four years until yesterday. Well, except for those two days that you broke up. I hurt her ego and it affected her in more than one way. That whole day, it was awkward and it trickled the next day. The day after I was at work and I could feel something so wrong. I texted her cause I couldn't call at the time. I said, I'm really sorry about the other day, something along those lines. And she replied with the same, I'm sorry too. I thought it would be the end of her feeling that way. Next few days, our kisses and hello's and goodbyes and I love you's were awkward. And every night after the argument, the boat felt a little cold.
KAYLA: (laughing)
SARAH: I feel like I should have cuddled her or something to try to connect. Fast forward to Sunday. I bought her flowers while she was away and gave me a half in half out. Oh my God, they're lovely. I let her contemplate the flowers and then jokingly said, so we're not breaking up? Sometimes she would say that jokingly so I thought it was appropriate.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: She replied, I don't know.
KAYLA: (gasps)
SARAH: She said that she couldn't talk about the matter at the moment because she had to go to work, which I thought it was valid. So we figured we would talk when she came back from work at night. But upon her opening the door after she came back from work, she started talking to me in a weird way. As if nothing had happened and we didn't just have that conversation earlier before she went to work. Same night, she invited me to bed because she had been sleeping on the couch. Unrelated to our fight. Unrelated? Okay
KAYLA: Maybe she was sick.
SARAH: Maybe she was sick. Maybe. Yeah. And I thought to myself, maybe she feels better and it will be more romantic. It felt like getting in bed with a stranger. And I took to the couch instead after feeling weird for an hour.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: She came over in the middle of the night to see if I was comfortable. And I replied a dry yes, because I was so confused.
KAYLA: A dry yes?! The writing on this is actually exquisite.
SARAH: That morning I thought we would talk about the matter at hand and she continued out with her morning routine like nothing had happened. It triggered me because it felt like because I had felt her like this before right before we broke up those first times. So I packed a bag while she was doing her thing. She acted surprised and told her that I'm packing a bag and going to my parents to give her space and time to think about what is bothering her. I didn't want to be around uncertain… uncertainty I loved her still do. And I knew there's something weird happening in this sentence, but he loves her and he and he knew that he wanted to be with her forever. She was overwhelmed and she said she needed a moment and went on for a walk. I took the time to shower. She came back. She went on again with her morning routine acting like nothing had happened. I went ahead and said, I think we should just call it. You haven't touched me or kissed me in four days. Four days. It's just it's four days. I tried kissing you the other day when you came back and you gave me a cheek instead. She went ahead and told me that I didn't have to leave and that we could still live together. That it shouldn't be a big deal. Not like we're going to throw stuff at each other. But that wasn't it. And I said, I'm not going to live with my ex. I gave her the keys and said, what if you want to come back? And she said, what if you want to come back? I said, for what? And she said that I could use the gym. But I said, I already have a membership somewhere. A few moments later, I left.
KAYLA: This is the most non-committal breakup I've ever.
SARAH: A few moments later, I left. And the weird thing is that she did not fight it. She never once said stay or wait or anything to reassure me that we were still together. We hugged while I was crying and I gave her a kiss on the cheek and left. It is 100% the hardest thing I've ever done. And I don't even know if I did the right thing. We still love each other. At least I do. And our relationship was 0% toxic. Okay, you'd broken up twice.
KAYLA: (laughing) I don't think that's true.
SARAH: So breaking up has been very hard. I keep thinking that maybe I shouldn't have left so suddenly. But after her doing this and her feeling uncertain about her future, I thought, I don't want to play games. I love you. And if you're uncertain again, then you've probably made your choice. I think deep down she wanted to break up, but she couldn't because we still love each other. So I think me saying let's call it was me saying what she was thinking. She didn't have the guts to say it. And I understand. I just can't help think that I made the wrong choice. She already deleted the only post of us on her Instagram. But her relationship status on Facebook is still in a relationship. My friends and parents told me to go no contact for at least a week and it's been so hard. I don't know why I wrote all this on here. Valid. I just want her so bad. And I've been crying for two days straight and I had my first meal in two days just a few moments ago. Broken, desperate, hopeless and sad and upset and angry. Actually, it says hopless, but I understand what you mean. Has anyone else gone through something like this? I need help. I don't know what to do and I think I need more closure. That's it.
KAYLA: That sucks. I mean, sounds like breaking up was right. If you break up with someone and the person doesn't fight it at all, seems like.
SARAH: Well, this was from 14 days ago. And so we have a resolution.
KAYLA: (gasping) Oh, my God. What a treat.
SARAH: Yeah. I'm going to read this comment in response. Someone was like, I agree with your family. Wait for her. This was her choice. Even though you ended it, she didn't fight for you.
(20:00)
SARAH: If someone wants you bad enough, they'll fight for you in a relationship. You're willing to fight, but she's not. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Good luck, rooting for you. And they said, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it. After the third day, I called her because I needed to hear it from her. I heard what I needed to hear.\ It is over now after four years and it was a beautiful ride. We wish each other luck and the best. It was never toxic. I got the closure you said I would. Thank you.
KAYLA: Alright.
SARAH: I think this person didn't really need advice.
KAYLA: They just wanted to… They just needed to talk. And that's okay.
SARAH: Okay. But the aroace in me. I'm like, wow. So you said one thing. And I understand they didn't break up because he made a joke about her job. Like, that's not why they broke up.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But in my brain, I'm like, you could have communicated if you had just made… I get it though. I get it. I get it. But like...
KAYLA: I mean, because clearly it's not just that one comment. It's clearly like a camel that broke the needle that...
SARAH: The camel that broke the camel's back.
KAYLA: The camel that broke the straw's back.
SARAH: (laughing) The straw that broke the needle's back.
KAYLA: Yeah. And I mean, with a relationship of four years too, that's the kind of stuff that can build and clearly has been building if they've broken up that many times. Clearly there was some… He says it was never toxic, but...
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Clearly there was some unsureness at least about...
SARAH: Yeah. Well, I'm glad he got the closure that he needed.
KAYLA: Me too. Okay. This is one… This is a yes or no question, so we can give some real good advice.
SARAH: Okay. Great.
KAYLA: Okay, 22 female, break up with my boyfriend, 28 male. It gives us 10 reasons
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: that she's considering breaking up with her boyfriend.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: And we can be the judges.
SARAH: Great.
KAYLA: One, he does… Okay. Also, they said their second language is not. English is their second language, so keep that in mind.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: One, he doesn't keep his words. We have been together for two years and four months, currently living together. He promised me he will tell his parents about me two years ago, but he still didn't tell them about me.
SARAH: Sorry, I got distracted by another post, so… He told his...
KAYLA: TLDR, they've been together for two years, four months, they live together.
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: He said two years ago he'd tell his parents about them, and he has not.
SARAH: And didn’t. Got it.
KAYLA: Yeah. Number two, he doesn't drive. My job consists of driving around a lot, which makes me so sick of driving. Since he doesn't have a license, I have to drive him everywhere. He said he will get a license, but he kept procrastinating taking driving lessons.
SARAH: (laughing) Okay
KAYLA: Number three, he doesn't pay attention to me when we are out. He often looks at other people instead of talking to me or looking at me. On our date nights, I feel like I'm just on a date with myself.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Number four, he's only interested in anal sex while I'm not into it. He's not forcing me or anything. He doesn't seem interested in vaginal sex. We have sex once every one to two weeks. He treated it like a chore. He doesn't do any foreplay.
SARAH: I have a question.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: For dick havers, who have done both the flavors of penetrative sex.
KAYLA: (laughing) Both holes.
SARAH: I imagine it must feel a little bit different.
KAYLA: From what I understand, it does, yes.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I don't know what the feelings are as I don't have a PP.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I feel like I've heard that it is a different feeling.
SARAH: I guess I'm just thinking about it logistically.
KAYLA: Think about it just anatomy wise.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Think about a diagram.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: It's a different, think of it like something going into a vase. The vase is shaped different.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: So it's got to feel different.
SARAH: Yeah. Okay. I was just taking that in.
KAYLA: Yeah. No, it's a lot for sure. Definitely. For sure. Definitely a lot. Number five. He often falls asleep while I'm crying.
SARAH: Uh
KAYLA: I have depression. I have depression, so I tend to cry every other day. I know it's not his responsibility to make me happy, but I wish he could be there for me when I need him the most.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Number six. He doesn't want to talk about the negative aspects of our relationship. How can we fix our issues if we don't even talk about them?
(25:00)
KAYLA: Number seven. He pays so much attention to other women. He used to stare at other women when we were out together. We talked a lot about it. Now he just looks at them briefly and turns away when I notice. I take care of my body and always try to look my best, but he rarely looks at me and compliments me. I feel like I already have my answer, but we have three more.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Eight. He did some questionable things in the past. For example, comment on other women's pictures, things like, quote, you have the most beautiful eyes in the world, quote, wow, so beautiful, et cetera. I once found a woman's t-shirt in his room that wasn't mine. I also found blonde hair inside his jeans. My hair is black. When we did long distance, he asked a woman if he could come over, have wine, and chill with her. Number nine. Always makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. I work and study full time, go to the gym. He always be like, why don't you do this? Why don't you do that? I'm doing my best and he doesn't recognize my efforts. And number 10. Doesn't take – doesn't care about me as much as he cares about himself. I tell him about my health issues and he never asks about them again. He spent so much time finding information on some symptoms he has. He has never once searched about my health issues.
SARAH: Okay. I have a question for OP.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Why are you with him?
KAYLA: Yeah. What are the good ones? Are there 10 good ones?
SARAH: Do you have 10 reasons to stay with this man? Because I'm not seeing them.
KAYLA: After the first one, that's like, unless you have a really good reason not to tell your parents about a relationship, if they, for religious reasons or social reasons, would object to it, then like, yeah, obviously it makes it. Like I know people that have kept relationship secrets for like years.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But that, that doesn't seem to be the case.
SARAH: There's a very good plot about this in Schitt's Creek.
KAYLA: I don't remember this.
SARAH: Where, spoiler alert.
KAYLA: I know you just rewatched.
SARAH: Spoiler alert. I only watched one season.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Spoiler, spoiler, spoilers. David assumes that Patrick's parents know.
KAYLA: Oh yeah.
SARAH: That they have been together.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: And he is having a surprise birthday party for Patrick because Patrick has always wanted one. And he invites Patrick's parents, who he has talked to before.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: But he did not know that they did not know.
KAYLA: They didn't know. But see, that one like makes sense because he's not out.
SARAH: Right. And it was dealt with very well. And as soon as David realized, he was like, oh my God, I fucked up so bad. And then he accidentally outed Patrick to his parents. It was a whole, it was a whole thing.
KAYLA: But it's okay. It was all okay.
SARAH: But it was well dealt with and, and David like told Patrick about what had happened before he could see his parents so that he wouldn't be blindsided by the fact that his parents know he's gay.
KAYLA: Yeah. So no one worry.
SARAH: No one worry. It's a very, very good episode though, even though I just spoiled it for you.
KAYLA: You don't need to watch it actually.
SARAH: No, it's so good.
KAYLA: There's a comment on here that says, although each and all of your points are valid, just note that you don't need to rationalize so much to stop a relationship that doesn't suit you anymore, which I think is a really good point. Like, you don't need to like list out, if you're listing out 10 reasons for why you're considering breaking up with someone, I feel like that's a pretty good sign.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Like you don't need 10 reasons, you know?
SARAH: Right. You need one reason.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Which is that you feel that's the best thing.
KAYLA: (singing) Just give me a reason just a little bit’s enough
SARAH: Okay. Go home. Go home. Um, I have, I have one.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: My boyfriend was crying over his ex.
KAYLA: Uh oh.
SARAH: So me, 20F, and my boyfriend, 23M, started dating a month ago. We're very much into each other. So the thing is that he and his ex broke up because of a mutual understanding and his relationship was very toxic. But last night he was with his and his ex's mutual friends and they were drinking and he got to know that it wasn't a mutual understanding. She was already in a relationship, with that guy who she had called her best friend when they were together, which means that he was cheated on.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: He came back home, called me and explained everything. Then he started crying, that all the time I was living a lie. I didn't know she cheated. Nobody even told me I was in the dark. I asked him if he still has feelings for her and he said, no, I don't, but the betrayal was something I didn't know all this time. And this is the reason for my breakdown. Uh, it's very shocking, blah, blah, blah. So I was feeling bad. But at that moment I tried to understand him and I handled the situation very calmly and I told him his feelings were valid, et cetera, made him understand he can't do anything about the situation. I even asked him if he wants to comfort – wants to confront his ex and he denied that he, he didn't want to. Alright. Sorry. This person's first language is not English and I'm just, he told me I'm the only person that matters and the best thing happened and the best thing that happened to him.
(30:00)
SARAH: Now the question is, does he still have feelings for her or is it just the betrayal he didn't know about that hurt him? How do I handle all this? I think you take him at his word, girlie.
KAYLA: Okay. I think it makes complete sense that he broke down because a, like being cheated on, I mean, I've never been cheated on personally that I know of, I guess, but like, from what I understand, very emotional, very thing.
SARAH: Yeah. Like someone, like they picked someone else over you.
KAYLA: Yeah. And then lied to you. You know, like that sucked.
SARAH: And the fact that they had mutual friends that presumably knew.
KAYLA: Okay, so it seems, it seems like the friends knew the whole time and decided not to tell him, which like that alone is really fucked up.
SARAH: Yeah. It's like either, like if, if they're still your friend and you want to remain friends
with them post breakup, like you need to tell them that this person cheated on them.
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, just realizing that what you thought was a lie the whole time, even just that it,
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: like, even about not a cheating situation, like finding out that you thought one thing about your life and then it wasn't true, like that's very upsetting.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And then to have it be such a big thing as being cheated on.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And like you thought your relationship one ended one way and it didn't, like, I think that's a completely understandable reason to freak out.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean, this person OP is 20 and so I think she's just a little insecure about their relationship and her status.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But I don't think she's anything like that. Also, they've been together a month.
KAYLA: That's, yeah.
SARAH: I think it's okay. Even if he did still have feelings for her. He'll get over it. That's my aroace advice.
KAYLA: Excellent. This is fun. Did I cheat or is my boyfriend just insecure?
SARAH: (laughing) Oh, boy.
KAYLA: There's a lot of comments. Okay. It's kind of long, but here we go. I started dating someone a year and a half ago, my current boyfriend. For a little while after I started dating my boyfriend, I had some, quote, more than just friends feelings left for a friend of mine that I had for many years before I met my boyfriend.
SARAH: Had they ever dated this friend or was it just feelings?
KAYLA: It seems like just feelings, but hold on. But wait.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Just during the start of the relationship, however, maybe the first few weeks of dating him and getting to know him.
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: However, I kept calling that friend on the phone almost every day like before. I kept calling him, quote, cutie pie, putting heart emojis in my text to him a lot, sending him kisses goodnight via messenger, told him he looked cute in pictures he would send me, texted with him almost every day. And I pretended to be in a relationship with that friend in the way I talked to him and acted with him via messages because that's what I've always done with him since I wanted to date him for years, but he never wanted to date me. I even wanted and thought about seeing him in person and spend a day alone with him in the summer when I traveled back home for the two month break from university. I lied about the way I talked to him to my current boyfriend and about how long ago I had feelings for that friend. I told my boyfriend I didn't have feelings for that friend since high school 10 years ago, which is not true. These people are old, too old for this. I hid all this from my boyfriend and more, even though he asked about that friend of mine. I just kept telling my boyfriend that this friend is like a brother to me, that nothing is going on. And I even got angry at my boyfriend for asking so many questions about my friend because he should have trusted me. I knew it wasn't that right at the time somehow, hence the lies, I guess, even though it was a habit, and I hid everything because I did not know how to tell everything to my boyfriend in a way that would look good. I knew somehow it had to stop at some point, but I didn't stop because I was having fun with that friend and I did not think it would be that bad. This has gone on for the first nine months of my relationship with my boyfriend until my boyfriend kind of found out and I came clean to him. My boyfriend then made me remove and block my friend from my life due to all the lies. I told him what I did. He made me not contact my friend ever again if I wanted to continue the relationship and said that what I did hurt him greatly and made him lose all trust in me, and it is cheating. I then never contacted that friend again, but I kept hiding certain things about the situation to my boyfriend even after all this happened. I've never slept with nor kissed that friend because that friend never saw me as anything more than that. I never wanted to hurt my boyfriend. Is my boyfriend just insecure, blowing the situation out of proportion? Am I wrong? Did I make a mistake and what I did was cheating?
(35:00)
SARAH: I have some questions.
KAYLA: Maybe not physical, but in another way.
SARAH: I have some questions.
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: First of all, if you are dating someone and you have held a flame for someone else for a long time and that person has made clear to you that they are not interested in you romantically or sexually, if you had been talking to them in a flirty way previously, okay, but for your own sake and your own sanity, why would you continue to do that? A. Once you had been thoroughly rejected and B. Once you were dating someone else?
KAYLA: It makes me wonder what this friend thought of all this.
SARAH: I was going to ask that as well. Was that friend aware that he was being flirted with?
KAYLA: That’s the thing. It seems like she talked to him in this way all the time.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Maybe it was normal, but also if she's going so far as to say I pretended I was in a relationship with him the way I talk to him and stuff, that's emotional cheating. Yes, she never did anything physically. The friend obviously never had any feelings back or anything, but to me this does feel like emotional cheating.
SARAH: Yeah. It's also absolutely wild to me that her boyfriend was like block him and never speak to him again and she was like okay.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: A, I think that's on the boyfriend's end, I can see why he would want her to do that, but I think it's a bit manipulative for him to be like you have to do that in order for us to stay together.
KAYLA: I don't know, I get it. I don't understand why he wants to stay with her. If I were him, I feel like that would be it. It would be over. It's confusing to me that he's even giving an option. Maybe it's a test of her loyalty or something.
SARAH: I guess, but it's just wild to me that she has this other person who she clearly still likes as a friend even if… she clearly talks to him all the time. Even if she does still have feelings for him, she doesn't expect it to go anywhere. She's talking to him because she wants to.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So then the fact that when her boyfriend is like never speak to him again, block him, she's just like okay.
KAYLA: But it's also still keeping details from him.
SARAH: Also, I have questions about how serious of a relationship, how deep of a relationship she had with this guy if it's easy for him to just stop talking to him.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Second of all, did she tell him beforehand or did she just block him?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Does he know what happened or does he just think that she blocked him?
KAYLA: Yeah, because if he didn't realize she was trying to flirt with him this whole time, he's just blindsided.
SARAH: Also. I'm trying to remember, how does she know this guy?
KAYLA: High school? Maybe?
SARAH: Do they see each other in real life?
KAYLA: I don't think so because she said she thought about seeing him in person and spending a day alone with him during the summer when she traveled back home for breaking university. So my guess is this is a friend from high school. She now goes to university where she met her current boyfriend
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: and this is someone she knows from her past. Is this even someone that considers her a friend or is this just someone that she's like this is my very good friend and it's just some dude that responds to her messages and is like okay I guess, weirdo.
SARAH: Yeah it’s wild
KAYLA: But also if she's away at university it's plausible that the friend didn't know she was dating anyone.
SARAH: Yeah. That was going to be another question that I had was how intertwined is her life with this person in real life because he may not have known.
KAYLA: Seems like not that much if she doesn't see him in person.
SARAH: And if she has feelings for him and is flirting at him then she's not going to be like oh my god let me tell you about my boyfriend.
KAYLA: Yeah exactly. I feel as though that's some sort of cheating. Everyone in the comments says that you're wrong and stupid.
SARAH: at OP is wrong and stupid?
KAYLA: Yeah. Oh damn. Even if you didn't cheat you know you would have cheated in a second if this friend wanted to get with you.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And it's true it does seem that way.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Tea.
SARAH: Yeah. Alright this one is really long you don't want to read all of it but I'm going to just read you the one sentence TLDR.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: My male 19 girlfriend female 18
(40:00)
SARAH: of 2 years and 4 months. Now they describe this as semi cheated with my good friend at my own party. My girlfriend cuddled with my very good friend who she knew had a crush on her one year ago at my own New Year's party.
KAYLA. Hmm. I mean.
SARAH: This implies that cuddling is a romantic act.
KAYLA: Yeah I mean I'm, I stay cuddling so I don't know.
SARAH: I just okay I've skimmed to the next day. We went to go to sleep she tried holding my hand but I just could not touch her physically after all that. I never expected anything like that to happen since everything had been so good the entire relationship. She looks at me and says in a quiet voice I'm really sorry about yesterday. I look at her and tell her to elaborate. She says that she understands how it looked and that she really regrets it.
KAYLA: Telling that she instantly knows why he's upset like that seems like guilty behavior.
SARAH: It does but also they're talking he's talking about how like he knew that this friend had a crush on her a year ago but does that friend still have a crush on her now?
KAYLA: Like a year and then you've been dating for two years?
SARAH: Yeah like saying is it time to call it quits and end this since I'm having a hard time believing that the kind of trust we had can be built up again or should I give it one more chance?
KAYLA: This kind of I don't know man this kind of feels like an overreaction.
SARAH: I think yeah I agree that I that feels like an overreaction.
KAYLA: Like if this was like if other things had happened before this and like this was just like another thing then maybe but if this is like the first time something like this has happened
SARAH: yeah
KAYLA: it feels like this is something that you can work through and like come to an understanding on.
SARAH: There's only one comment on it and it's really long and I don't I don't agree with all the stuff they're saying and also we didn't read this whole post but I think this is an overreaction and it is partially a result of this person being 19.
KAYLA: You know what that does make it all make sense.
SARAH: Yeah this is not I'm not trying to shit on any of our younger listeners and I I know it's really annoying to hear someone be like “well you'll get it when you're older” but like there are some things that just life experience like helps you to better understand.
KAYLA: I think the more relationships… It's not even an age thing I think it's like an experience.
SARAH: An experience thing.
KAYLA: The more relationships you have romantic or otherwise the more you start to like I
think those kinds of things get put into more perspective.
SARAH: Yeah and I think this is really just based around the fact that this person thinks that cuddling is as they said semi cheating.
KAYLA: Yeah which and it also feels like it could be a very like possessive thing of like oh bro this is my girl and you had a crush on her and whatever you know it feels very that kind of.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Well.
SARAH Shall we stop?
KAYLA: I think yeah it's over now.
SARAH: Wait.
KAYLA: I'm starting to sweat so it's it's time.
SARAH: Alright. I think my girlfriend and her co-worker are getting too close and I think it's suspicious. Wait can we read this one? Sorry.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Okay. Okay. My girlfriend 27F and I 25F so we're gays have been together for two years recently we've been having arguments over her co-worker 26F and their friendship for about a month and a half now her co-worker is married to a male. She texts his co-worker 247 waits for her before and after work so they can talk walk in or out together sometimes they will spend an hour in the parking lot talking after work. My girlfriend brought her a gift for us got bought her a gift for Christmas. She's also gone out of her way for a co-worker in ways that she has not done for me at least not in a long time. She has vented to this co-worker about our relationship. She refuses to let me join them after work for drinks. One of her other co-workers had joked around with her wanting to have sex with the girl my girlfriend did not defend herself or bring up our relationship. The co-worker is now making her brownies and cookies and other desserts and bringing them into work just for her in a container with her name on it. My girlfriend despises spicy food but yet tried some of her co-workers spicy food they brought from home. My girlfriend thinks I'm being over dramatic and controlling because I told her I didn't like her co-worker and it makes me uncomfortable when they hang out together one on one. I'm just stuck and I feel like I have no solid proof of anything. What should my next step be opinions on the situation? What do you think I should do about it?
KAYLA: But she's married.
SARAH: Yeah. I'm not going to lie to you. It sounds like something a straight man would say about his wife and another straight man.
KAYLA: Yeah. I would be interested if her co-worker was a man, would she feel the same way?
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Assuming that she's not also attracted to men. You know what I mean?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: If it was someone that she was not potentially attracted to, would she still feel threatened?
(45:00)
SARAH: Because it just seems like they're really good friends and I can understand wanting to have boundaries of not wanting your girlfriend to join when you have drinks after work. It seems to me like this person is not being like, oh no, we can never hang out with the group of us, but just like after work drinks are a them thing and that's fair.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Also, if OP has expressed that they don't like this girl, why would she want to be like, yeah sure, come to drinks? It's just going to get weird.
KAYLA: I guess I would be interested to know how this differs from other friendships that the girlfriend has. Is this an especially close friendship compared to others, but also people have different friendships with different people.
SARAH: Yeah. One of the comments says, this sounds exactly like my friendship with two of my coworkers. We developed a healthy bond.
KAYLA: Yeah. I have a lot of friendships that sound like this.
SARAH: We walk during our breaks, share some of our personal problems, including relationships for support and advice. We also help each other at work. We are just friends, nothing else. Sometimes women bond like this.
KAYLA: This just sounds like classic women bonding to me, to be honest.
SARAH: Also, just because it's a work friend, work friends can become real friends and that seems to be what's happening here. I think OP is just confused and alarmed by that.
KAYLA: I keep thinking about the spicy food thing. Oh, she doesn't like spicy food, but she tried some of... Yeah, I try things I don't like sometimes. Also, there's a level of... If my… if Dean were to offer me spicy food that I didn't want, I would feel a lot more comfortable telling him no than a new friend. I would feel more socially obligated to say yes to someone I was becoming new friends with.
SARAH: Especially if you're at work.
KAYLA: Yeah, but with a partner, I'm going to be a lot more comfortable being like, no, fuck off
SARAH: (laughing) Absolutely fucking not
KAYLA: because I know it's not going to hurt his feelings. That's weird.
SARAH: Yeah, I think they're just friends. I really do.
KAYLA: I think this person is just a little jealous, perhaps.
SARAH: Maybe they should talk about that and talk about how they can do nice things within their relationship to make them feel not so jealous.
KAYLA: Also, the thing of, oh, they do things for this friend that they haven't done for me in a long time, that seems like something that's an underlying thing that needs to be addressed that's maybe just popping out.
SARAH: They've been together for two years, and so it seems like they've settled into their relationship.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: This friendship...
KAYLA: Is new.
SARAH: Yeah, is newer. And so… I don't know. I think it's fine.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Alright. What's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Oh, I want to ask if other people think that that one person was cheating, but then I would have to go back and find...
SARAH: Which one?
KAYLA: Did I cheat, or is my boyfriend just insecure?
SARAH: Oh, right, with the guy that they were messaging.
KAYLA: With like the friend
SARAH: Yeah. I'm curious. Alright. You can tell us about your beef. Nope. Well, you can, but we have to tell you about ours first. Kayla, what is your beef and your juice for this week? Do you want me to go first?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay. I wrote things down.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: My juice. Ear blaster. I got wax blasted out of my ear.
KAYLA: This is also my juice.
SARAH: I had a lot of wax in my ear and had been there for a long time, and I finally got it out. My other juice is I got a dentist appointment.
KAYLA: That's very exciting.
SARAH: When I'm at home, I put myself on a wait list a couple weeks ago, and they were like, we have an appointment, and I was like, that's fucking perfect. Another juice. Got to see the homies last weekend. Nice. My beef, Hopper T Dog, died. I love you, Hopper. You're the best. My other beef is that they moved the road. Kayla, this is the beef that I thought of in the car yesterday that I forgot by the time I got home. I remembered it on my way to work this morning, because let me tell you a story.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I drive on the highway to work every day, and any time I want to go anywhere in LA that's not the valley and is not the west side, I don't usually go to the west side, but I take this route, and I'm very familiar with it. There is a concrete wall next to the highway. Not one of those big tall, tall ones, but just a median between the two directions of traffic. I get very freaked out when there is a wall
(50:00)
SARAH: too close to the lane.
KAYLA: Fair.
SARAH: If it is too close, I do get freaked out, and I pull my elbows in as if that's going to help.
KAYLA: It will, and it will.
SARAH: But I really don't like it when there are walls or curbs too close to where I'm driving. Previously, this wall had been far enough away that it didn't bother me.
KAYLA: Uh oh.
SARAH: And we had recently, in the past couple months, acquired some potholes, which were located in such places that if you didn't swerve around them, you would hit them.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: And so I became very familiar with these potholes, and I would know exactly when I needed to move a little bit to the side to get around them. It's Friday, I go to work, all is normal. It's Saturday.
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: I do drive on this highway, but I come from a different direction.
KAYLA: I feel like I'm listening to an investigation.
SARAH: I'm coming from a different direction, so I'm not in the far left lane. So I do drive on the highway, but I'm not in the same lane that I'm normally in.
KAYLA: I'm taking notes.
SARAH: Yeah. On Saturday – no, sorry Sunday
KAYLA: Get your story straight
SARAH: I drive on this highway again. The road has moved.
KAYLA: Jesus Christ.
SARAH: They have between Friday and Sunday.
KAYLA: At what times?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Sarah, please, this is an active open investigation.
SARAH: It was Friday morning, and then Sunday around a little before noon. It was like 11 o'clock.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: And the road has moved. They have moved the lines of the road over. And I know this for a fact because I am uncomfortably close to the wall. I do not like how close I am to the wall. The other piece of evidence I have for why I know this happened is because I no longer have to swerve to avoid the potholes.
KAYLA: Oh, that's kind of nice.
SARAH: Yes. Well, no, because I'm too close to the wall. And then the other thing is you can see when they redo the lines on roads, you can see where they basically sanded out the old line and put in the new lines.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: The confusing thing, though, is that the new lines don't look new.
KAYLA: Did they move the wall? No, because the potholes.
SARAH: And so if the lines had looked brand new, it would have been clear what happened. But because these lines don't look brand new, but I swear on my life, they moved them.
KAYLA: Okay here’s what we’re going to do. Is there a stoplight near this area?
SARAH: This is a highway.
KAYLA: Fuck. I was going to say we have to hack into the stoplight camera.
SARAH: And I drove on it again yesterday morning and this morning, and I was like, they moved the fucking road. I swear on my life.
KAYLA: That's fucked up.
SARAH: So displeased about it.
KAYLA: That's very fucked up.
SARAH: Like, why did the lines not look new?
KAYLA: That's
SARAH: It’s a mystery.
KAYLA: That's tough. That's scary.
SARAH: And if it had just been like, the wall is now closer, that was not the only piece of evidence I had.
KAYLA: I don't know what to say.
SARAH: What's your beef and your juice
KAYLA: Wow, not as dramatic as that, I feel.
SARAH: Actually, I'm going to put this into the world. Anyone out there who drives on the 101, going southbound, slash eastbound, on the 101, right after the 170 has turned into the 101.
KAYLA: This is the most California thing
SARAH:. Like right around Universal City, like before you get to the Minion Overlords. That area, if anyone drives there often and has noticed a shifting in the lanes, please let me know I'm not crazy.
KAYLA: Does your roommate not drive in that area?
SARAH: I haven't talked to her about it yet. I keep meaning to.
KAYLA: Kay. I'm curious for her opinion.
SARAH: Yeah. Anyway. Sorry, what's your beef and your juice?
KAYLA: My juice is also
(55:00)
KAYLA: Sarah's earwax. I have been waiting for Sarah to get her ears cleaned. I really wanted a video because I enjoy impacted ear video cleanings on the TikTok, but I was informed that that was impossible.
SARAH: Also, it was the water thing. You know how they have those water things and it's just like a little water gun? This one, it was literally just like a head that you put on a spray bottle. Then she was just… (spraying sound effects)
KAYLA: Not very high tech.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: I was having a rough weekend and it was late at night and I was really going through it. Sarah, I got unsolicited earwax pictures and I was so excited. I was in the middle of talking and I was like, hold on everyone, I have to look at these. Everyone thought I was gross, but I was so happy.
SARAH: I'm so glad that I was able to do that for you.
KAYLA: Thank you. My beef is that… Oh, it's been a rough one. Not great weekend. Also, there's been some circumstances in my life lately that I am extra reminded of my A-spec-ness in a world of mostly allos, which I feel like I was uniquely lucky to not have a lot in college because we weren't around people that were super sex or romance obsessed.
SARAH: Yeah. At least not people that we were super close to.
KAYLA: Yeah. Strangely, in my mid-20s, I am for the first time having the experience of being around people who date and have sex often and it is a large part of their life. That's been a unique time for me as a 26-year-old to deal with for the first time.
SARAH: I hate that for you, actually.
KAYLA: Me too, but oh well.
SARAH: Alright. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your thoughts on whether they moved the 101.
KAYLA: I really hope. I know we at least have some listeners in the LA area. I'm really hoping.
SARAH: Please. Does anyone work in urban planning, in construction, in civil engineering? Have they moved the road?
KAYLA: Damn, I know someone that works in that area but not, in a different part of California, so maybe he could connect me to someone. I need answers.
SARAH: I just need to know if they moved the lane over like a foot. It’s like a foot. Anyway, SoundsFakePod at that place is where we are. We also have Patreon, patreon.com/SoundsFakePod, where you can give us money for some reason for this quality content. We have a new $2 Patron. It's actually a Canadian $3 Patron, but it's a $2 Patron.
KAYLA: I'm a loonie and a toonie. They're going to unpatron immediately
SARAH: A loonie and a toonie?
KAYLA: That's what Canadian money is called. Their coins are loonies and toonies. Do you not know this?
SARAH: I work with Canadians every day and I've never heard them say that.
KAYLA: They have money. I'll look it up to be sure, but they have money called loonies and toonies. And those are real people, allegedly.
SARAH: What? What? Denomination? That's not the right word.
KAYLA: I know what you mean. Let me look it up. You can proceed. I'm looking.
SARAH: I'm thinking.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Because they don't have pennies anymore. Yeah. Anyway, Elizabeth Powles.
KAYLA: Okay, I found it.
SARAH: Thank you and sorry for this.
KAYLA: The widespread acceptance of the $1 loonie led to the introduction of a $2 coin, which I believe is the toonie. So I do think that this is not the official thing. So technically, their $3 pledge is a loonie and a toonie.
SARAH: Wow. That is wild.
KAYLA: So take that.
SARAH: Okay. Our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are the stubby tech,Vishakh
KAYLA: The shaq!
SARAH: It's not Shaq.
KAYLA: Thank you, Shaq.
SARAH: Dr. Professor Shaq.
KAYLA: Thank you, T.J. Diesel. I'll see you again soon.
SARAH: Adam Klager, AlexIsStar and AliceIsInspace. Dinglehopper. Oh, what am I doing? Who did that?
KAYLA: This is the slowest patron read we've had in years.
SARAH: I just got confused. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Boston Smith, who would like to promote their YouTube and TikTok @YerBuddyBoston. David Harris, who would like to promote the cradle book series by Will Wight. Derick and Carissa, who would like to promote support of each other through the transitions we face. We had a new one there.
KAYLA: So true.
SARAH: Elle Bitter, who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators /srs and my Aunt Jeannie, who would like to promote Christopher's Haven. Our other $10 patrons are Koolin. Maggie Capalbo, Martin Chiesl, Mattie, Potater, Purple Hayes, who did not ever revoke their patronage, as they told me. They just changed their payment method.
KAYLA: Congrats on your new card.
SARAH: And it made us, it told us for some reason.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: So there's that.
KAYLA: Congrats
SARAH: Barefoot Backpacker, Ruby Song of Storm, Steve, Zirklteo, Arcnes, Alyson, Ben Mcleod, and Benjamin Ybarra. Our $15 patrons are Andrew Hillum, The Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Changeling and Alex the ace cat, StarshipChangeling.net, Click for Caroline, Ace of Hearts, Dia Chappell, twitch.tv/melodydia, Hector Murillo, friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person. John Young, who would like to promote me just taking out the words, would like to promote.
KAYLA: I got it eventually. After three, I was like. Ah.
SARAH: Maff, catching up on the podcast after two years. Nathaniel White and NathanielJWhitedesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina, KateMaggartArt.com, Sara Jones @eternalloli everywhere, Sabrina, our $20 patrons are Sabrina Hauck, Christmas, and Dragonfly, who would like to promote (drumming on desk) Thanks for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: Okay. Until then I don't even… take good care of your cows. I don't remember.
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