Ep 60: Answering Questions Posed by Songs pt 2
SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)
KAYLA: And a demi straight girl (that’s me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don’t understand.
KAYLA: On today’s episode: Answering questions posed by songs, again.
BOTH: — Sounds fake, but okay.
*Intro music*
SARAH: Pod.
KAYLA: Huh.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: It’s just how I feel right now. I just ate a couple of gummy worms, feeling pretty hyped up.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I ate part of an apple, and then I dropped it.
KAYLA: She did. And I watched it happen.
SARAH: It was sad.
KAYLA: Pretty tragic.
SARAH: All right. This week –
KAYLA: What are we doing, Sarah?
SARAH: Oh, we're answering more questions posed by songs. I didn't even have to do extra work.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I came up with so many songs in August, that we still have many.
KAYLA: Honestly, we just walked up to our office, which is the second half of Sarah's bedroom. And we just sat down, and here we are.
SARAH: We just sat down. I hope everyone in the United States, had a good Thanksgiving.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm, yes.
SARAH: I hope everyone not in the United States, had a good third Thursday in November.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Thanks for all of your responses to our poll last week.
KAYLA: It's been so sweet.
SARAH: It was very nice.
KAYLA: You all are sweet.
SARAH: It's been wonderful. Kayla?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend, was a freak like me?
KAYLA: So I'm having trouble answering this question –
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: And I'll tell you why.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: It's because I don't have a girlfriend, first of all.
SARAH: Right. Right.
KAYLA: You're also not hot.
SARAH: Thank you.
KAYLA: And I wouldn't really call you a freak.
SARAH: Thank you.
KAYLA: You're weird, but I don't think the word freak really fits. So I don't know that I can truly answer this question.
SARAH: Okay. How about this one?
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Are we human, or are we dancer?
KAYLA: Well, I don't see why they have to be mutually exclusive.
SARAH: Okay, that's valid.
KAYLA: I think that sometimes if you're at a party, or a dance, you could be both a human –
SARAH: Both yeah.
KAYLA: And a dancer.
SARAH: And is there ever a time when you're a dancer, and not a human?
KAYLA: Sure, if you're a cow, and you're dancing.
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: So I guess, I just don't think they're mutually exclusive.
SARAH: Can you be a human, without being a dancer? Because in Guardians of the Galaxy, Gamora is neither a human, nor a dancer. But she does dance with Peter.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't think you have to be a human, to be a dancer.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And I also don't think as a human, you have to be a dancer.
SARAH: Well as Drax explains, "There are those who dance. And those who do not dance." You know?
KAYLA: Sure, yeah. This is great.
SARAH: Why don't we do it in the road?
KAYLA: Do what?
SARAH: It, in the road.
KAYLA: Can you elaborate on that?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Okay, well when you say do it –
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: My mind first does go to sex, I have to say.
SARAH: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
KAYLA: I would not like to do that, in the middle of a road, personally.
SARAH: Yeah, I know. Me neither.
KAYLA: That seems dangerous.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It seems probably cold.
SARAH: Seems like illegal, in most places in the United States.
KAYLA: Yeah, I guess that would be public nudity.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Well, if you keep yourself covered enough, I guess –
SARAH: I mean, I wouldn't like that.
KAYLA: I wouldn't either. But – So no, we can't.
SARAH: No. Okay. Well, it wasn't can we? It's why don't we?
KAYLA: Oh, why don't we? Because cold –
SARAH: Because of those reasons, that you just stated.
KAYLA: It's dangerous.
SARAH: Yeah. Dangerous.
KAYLA: Icky, sticky.
SARAH: Oh no, that's enough.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Ay, where the party at?
KAYLA: Well it's a Wednesday.
SARAH: It's Tuesday.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: And for those of you listening, it could be any day of the week.
KAYLA: It could. But today, I feel like if it was a weekend, I could probably point to where a party might be.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: But it's a Tuesday afternoon.
SARAH: What if the part was inside of us, all along?
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: What if the real treasure, was the party inside of us, all along?
SARAH: Because that's –
KAYLA: If that's true, it's in our soul. Yeah.
SARAH: It's in – Yeah, I agree. Okay.
KAYLA: That's the answer.
SARAH: Did you sail across the sun? You know what I just realized?
KAYLA: (laughs) I don't even – What?
SARAH: Because I just went straight into the questions?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyone who didn't hear the first episode of this –
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: They might think we're a little crazy. But it's fine, because that's accurate. Kayla, did you sail across the sun?
KAYLA: (sighs) I'm going to have to say no.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Because at first I was like, maybe I did, and I don't remember it.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: You know?
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: But I feel like if I did, I would maybe be like a little more tanned, perhaps.
SARAH: Or you would have evaporated.
KAYLA: Yeah, perhaps a bit like crusty.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because I got burned –
SARAH: I'm really just think evaporation, it's very hot.
KAYLA: So yeah, I don't think so.
SARAH: Okay, corollary to that –
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Life on Mars?
KAYLA: Probably.
SARAH: I think there's probably single celled organisms, like little organisms.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because there used to be water.
KAYLA: Yeah. So there's got to be something.
SARAH: I don't think there's been advanced life on Mars.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: But I think there's been life on Mars, even if there is not right now.
KAYLA: There's at least some bacteria –
SARAH: Some bacteria.
KAYLA: That was on there at one point. I agree.
SARAH: Yeah, no. I believe that. Do you think that there's – And this is not a question from a song, do you think that there's intelligent life elsewhere?
KAYLA: Yeah. Oh, intelligent life?
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Yeah, there's no way – The universe is literally infinite.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: There's absolutely no way, that we're the only ones.
SARAH: We're not special.
KAYLA: There’s – they might look a lot different from us.
SARAH: Oh yeah, we might not be able to actually communicate with them.
KAYLA: Yeah. It might be totally something way different. But there's absolutely no way in my mind, that I can justify an infinite universe, and we're the only intelligent life.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I just don't understand that.
SARAH: Yeah. Can I imagine what other intelligent life is like? No, I have no idea what it's like.
KAYLA: Yeah, but there's no way.
SARAH: But there's just no way.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: We're not that special.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like we're not even special.
KAYLA: Not even a little special.
SARAH: There is no special.
KAYLA: We're not even a little special.
SARAH: Not even a little special. Can you dig it?
KAYLA: What's it?
SARAH: It.
KAYLA: If it's dirt, probably.
SARAH: What about digging up life on Mars?
KAYLA: I don't want to disturb Mars like that.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: You know?
SARAH: I don't know what happened with that rover on Mars. Because I haven't kept up with Dear Hank & John recently, so I'm behind on my Mars news. Anyway, continue.
KAYLA: Yeah, I know that for science, it has probably been done. And it will be done in the future.
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: But I personally don't want to like dig up Mars. Because I feel like we already ruined one planet, by digging it up –
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: That I'm like, Mars doesn't need that.
SARAH: Yeah. But can you dig it? It's not –
KAYLA: It seems possible, probably. Yeah.
SARAH: I mean it's pretty cold.
KAYLA: Icepick.
SARAH: Yeah. Okay, why do fools fall in love?
KAYLA: (sighs) Sarah? Why does anyone fall in love?
SARAH: I don't know, that's why I'm asking. I'm the aro-ace one –
KAYLA: That doesn't mean – Yeah, but you could fall in love platonically. It's not like you've never been in love?
SARAH: I didn't mean to turn that into a conversation. I just wanted to know why fools fall in love, Kayla.
KAYLA: Because love is foolish, that was a really deep answer, if you think about it, so you're welcome.
SARAH: Well you just got a song stuck in my head, and it isn't any of these songs.
KAYLA: Oh, I was going to say, I don't even know what that song is.
SARAH: Does your mother know?
KAYLA: No, because I tell you why. I was originally going to go home, because we've not had Thanksgiving yet.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: To be very honest, about the timeline here.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: It's Tuesday.
SARAH: We're busy ladies.
KAYLA: We're businesswomen. And so I told my mom originally – so it's like 3:00 PM, or something right now. It's like 3:30.
SARAH: It's 3:53.
KAYLA: It's 3:53 PM, and I told my mom –
SARAH: On Tuesday, November 20, 2018.
KAYLA: Ugh, a diary. And so we're recording this. Originally we were going to record this at like, 10:00 PM tonight. But then we found some extra time in our schedules.
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: And so my mom doesn't know, because originally I was like, I can't come home until Wednesday morning, because me and Sarah have to be businesswomen. So now, maybe I just won't tell them, and I'll show up at home.
SARAH: Just show up.
KAYLA: I might just show up at home.
SARAH: Show up, and then they're just sleeping.
KAYLA: Probably. At what, 7:00 PM?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Maybe.
SARAH: Marty's dad goes to bed at that time.
KAYLA: So should I just like not tell them do you think, and just go home?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: We’ll see.
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: But no –
SARAH: We'll keep you updated though.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Have you ever loved a woman?
KAYLA: Platonically.
SARAH: Does your mother know?
KAYLA: I mean, she knows I have friends.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: So.
SARAH: Who put the bomp? (laughs)
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Who put the bomp?
KAYLA: Can you spell that?
SARAH: B-O-M-P.
KAYLA: What's the language of origin?
SARAH: English.
KAYLA: Can you use it in another sentence?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: That's rude.
SARAH: Who put the bomp, in the bomp shoo bomp, shoo bomp? Who put the bang, gang? I don't know. In the rama lama ding dang?
KAYLA: Someone who doesn't know proper English, probably.
SARAH: I find it offensive, that you think that there is a objectively proper English.
KAYLA: Okay, I think –
SARAH: There's an academic English.
KAYLA: You can look at any version of English that's out there right now, and that doesn't fit any of them. Any version of English.
SARAH: Who can it be now?
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Who can it be now?
KAYLA: Okay. Your mom?
SARAH: I guess.
KAYLA: All right
(10:00)
SARAH: But does your mother know?
KAYLA: No, she doesn't.
SARAH: Okay, what's going on?
KAYLA: I just burped, and we’re recording a – I just burped again on the podcast.
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: That's what's going on.
SARAH: I'm glad that you told all of our listeners that.
KAYLA: Well, you asked what was going on.
SARAH: Okay, fine. Why?
KAYLA: Because I had to burp.
SARAH: That's not a very good answer. These are both questions on my list. (laughs)
KAYLA: What the fuck? That's not a very good answer is not a question, that is a statement.
SARAH: Oh yeah, no that wasn't a question.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: But what's going on, and why, were both questions on my list.
KAYLA: Oh, well I answered. You're welcome.
SARAH: You did a bad job.
KAYLA: I didn't. Okay, what are your answers then?
SARAH: What do U mean? But U, just the letter U?
KAYLA: (Singing) What do U mean – I mean that Justin Bieber is the worst.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: And the other day, one of our friends were singing his Christmas song, Mistletoe to me –
SARAH: Ugh, Jesus.
KAYLA: And I wanted to murder her. And then she started slow twerking, to You Raise Me Up, by Josh Groban.
SARAH: Where are you now?
KAYLA: I am on your futon.
SARAH: I need you to stop giving me literal answers, I want to know what your emotional state is?
KAYLA: Where am I emotionally?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I feel pretty calm, and content.
SARAH: You know what I hate?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: When people pronounce the word calm as calm.
KAYLA: Did I just do that?
SARAH: A little –
KAYLA: Well –
SARAH: You were like halfway in between them.
KAYLA: I have a weird voice.
SARAH: Yeah, I know.
KAYLA: Thank you. Press one, if I have a weird voice. I would honestly – Okay –
SARAH: Can anyone identify Kayla's accent?
KAYLA: Sidetrack. Okay so here's the tea. And this is very sidetrack, but I realize this is the perfect platform, to finally get the answer to this.
SARAH: Oh it’s ideal.
KAYLA: Okay everyone, here's the tea. I was – Okay, I'm just going to give you the background on my origin. And so, maybe that will help.
SARAH: (whispers) Kayla's origin story.
KAYLA: Okay no, back up. Here's the problem, I have a weird voice.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Accent or not, I think I have a very distinct voice –
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: That doesn't sound like a lot of other people's voices.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: I think it has to do – I talk in the back of my throat maybe –
SARAH: Mm-hmm. Interesting.
KAYLA: Is kind of what it sounds like.
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: I have a voice that I think, is a lot different than other people.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: When I hear it. Would you agree?
SARAH: Yeah. I mean I'm used to it by now –
KAYLA: But you agree?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So a lot of people then ask me like, where are you from, what's your accent? I've gotten a lot of different guesses, like Chicago, and New York, whatever. I've gotten like all the questions, and answers.
SARAH: All of the questions?
KAYLA: Yes. So here's the tea, of where I think –
SARAH: Please tell us.
KAYLA: I could possibly have an accent. So I was born in Indiana.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: And lived there until I was four.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. Land of corn.
KAYLA: Yes. People in Indiana have a very strong Hoosier accent.
SARAH: In certain parts, yeah.
KAYLA: In certain parts. And I know me and my sister used to have it.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Like my sister, even more, because she was older –
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: When we lived there. And so it's saying things like vehicle, it's all in the vowels.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: It's like kind of Southern. It's Southern mixed with Midwestern accent –
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Is what I think sounds like.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean that makes sense, based on location.
KAYLA: Yeah. But I don't know why I would still have part of that accent –
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Since I stopped living there when I was four.
SARAH: Yeah, and then you go to school, and you have interaction – Yeah.
KAYLA: And then I have lived here for the rest of my life.
SARAH: It's like when people – I have several neighbors, for some reason, that are British. But their kids have American accents.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: They had British accents when they were little –
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But now they have American accents.
KAYLA: So there's no reason, why I should still have an Indiana accent.
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: Like maybe it would come out sometimes.
SARAH: Yeah, like if you go to Indiana.
KAYLA: If I went there.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But either way, I don't know why my voice is like this. I don't know what it sounds like.
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: But you guys listen to my voice, all the time.
SARAH: Where's she from? Is she from Mars?
KAYLA: Please tell me, do I have an accent? Why does my voice sound like this, in the first place?
SARAH: Well I mean, I'm sure to some –
KAYLA: Okay –
SARAH: At least for a fair portion of our listeners, we both have accents.
KAYLA: Well yeah. But like if you compare me and Sarah's –
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: We should have the same accent.
SARAH: But we don't.
KAYLA: But we don't.
SARAH: What does my – Do I have – Is there anything specific about my voice?
KAYLA: Well, I mean you say things like milk.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And that.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Other than that, I think you sound normal.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I think I sound weird.
SARAH: Yeah, my voice is a lot more muddled, when it comes out of my mouth, than I think it is –
KAYLA: Because you're from the Midwest –
SARAH: No. But like in my head it sounds clear, and then I listen to my voice –
KAYLA: Oh yeah.
SARAH: And I'm like, I'm mumbling, constantly.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Also, today I was in class, and this girl said "um" in between everything. And I was like, “Me?”
KAYLA: "Me? Is that me?"
SARAH: And then I was so hyper aware of it, and it was driving me crazy –
KAYLA: Did you start counting?
SARAH: And I was like, oh God, I'm so sorry –
KAYLA: I do that sometimes.
SARAH: For the people who listen to our podcast. I say um so much.
KAYLA: You say um a lot. And that has a very distinctive sound shape, when you're editing –
SARAH: It does. It does.
KAYLA: It's very fun.
SARAH: Anyway, tell Kayla where her accent's from.
KAYLA: Anyway, like if you have any thoughts on my voice, even accent aside, why it sounds like this? Because accent aside, I think my voice sounds so bizarre.
SARAH: I mean it is nasally, but that's a Michigan thing.
KAYLA: Yeah, but I don't think that's it. To me it sounds like it's something, in the back of my throat.
SARAH: It's a weird mix of back and nasal.
KAYLA: (sighs)
SARAH: But I don't know why.
KAYLA: Someone help. Maybe I should go to like a speech pathologist.
SARAH: My mom used to do that.
KAYLA: Okay, I'm going to sit down with your mom and be like, why am I like this?
SARAH: I don't think that that's what her –
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't think so either –
SARAH: Skills land. But yeah –
KAYLA: Maybe she knows someone.
SARAH: I have a much more nasally voice, than people not from the Midwest.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But in the Midwest, my voice just sounds normal.
KAYLA: In the Midwest, your voice is normal.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I still sound weird.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: Please help. This has been a please help us segment.
SARAH: Accents are so interesting to me. I love them.
KAYLA: A segment on accents, every week?
SARAH: No, I love them so much.
KAYLA: I know you do.
SARAH: Like ever since I was little, I've tried to learn accents. The reason I can do good British –
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And Scottish accents, is because I started doing them when I was a child. So – Anyway, my British is a little out of practice, because I got really into Scottish.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
SARAH: I can almost do Irish, almost now.
KAYLA: Can you do Australian?
SARAH: I'm getting better at it.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: But it's not consistently good enough –
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: For me to just be able to do it. Because Australian accents are one of the hardest accents to learn.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: They're very, very difficult. But that's also part of the reason why, I have a pretty decent German accent when I speak German –
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because I'm able to pick up accents.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I can't do a German accent, speaking English though.
KAYLA: I've really asked, she never can.
SARAH: I can't. I can't. Oh say can you see?
KAYLA: Oh, I guess I've never really thought about that as a question.
SARAH: Yeah?
KAYLA: Like oh say, can you see?
SARAH: Yeah?
KAYLA: Yeah, I can.
SARAH: What about by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hail –
KAYLA: What the fuck does donzerly mean?
SARAH: Dawn's early light?
KAYLA: (laughs)
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: I thought it was just one word. Everyone says it as one word.
SARAH: Kayla doesn't know the National Anthem.
KAYLA: I do know it. I can sing it. I just string the words together, like everyone else does.
SARAH: But you don't know what –
KAYLA: I'm sure I knew it at one point.
SARAH: (laughing) Kayla, you're so stupid.
KAYLA: Here's my argument to why I'm not stupid. America, compared to any other country, is obsessed with their national anthem.
SARAH: Oh yeah, which is why you should know it, because –
KAYLA: Nah, I'm fighting.
SARAH: Because every –
KAYLA: Nah.
SARAH: Okay. In school we would do the Pledge of Allegiance every day –
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And on Fridays, we did the National Anthem.
KAYLA: Oh, we didn't do the National Anthem.
SARAH: But still, the National Anthem happens fairly often. It happens before every sporting event.
KAYLA: Yeah, and I can sing it. And sound –
SARAH: She says donzerly, D-O-N-Z-E-R-L-Y –
KAYLA: Yeah. And that's literally, if you listen to someone singing it, that's what it sounds like they're saying.
SARAH: And if I say, I went to the store, you might think I went to the, is one word. But it's not.
KAYLA: Yeah well, I also hear that more often. Literally by the dawn's early light, you only hear in the National Anthem. It's the only –
SARAH: (laughing) What did you think donzerly meant?
KAYLA: I never thought about it. I don't actively spend time thinking about the National Anthem. Because I'm not one of the Americans that just sucks America's dick, Sarah. Which is Florida, Florida is America's dick, because it looks like it. Listen, I stand by this. It's not dumb, and not stupid. This is me fighting nationalism, one lyric at a time.
SARAH: (laughing) No, you're just stupid.
KAYLA: No. No.
SARAH: Poll of the week, what does donzerly mean? (laughs)
KAYLA: Fuck off dude. You're just obsessed with America.
SARAH: Anyway –
KAYLA: And that's not my fault.
SARAH: By the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed, at the sky –
KAYLA: Oh, oh.
SARAH: It's really hard to speak.
KAYLA: At the twilight's last –
SARAH: At the twilight. It's hard to like say it.
KAYLA: Oh, so now who doesn't know the National Anthem? Both of us. It's both of us.
SARAH: It's like you know, how like the song of all the states?
KAYLA: Yeah. You can't just say it?
SARAH: It's hard to say.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: You have to sing it. And I can say it, but I say it to the beat.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And some of the states, are pronounced a little bit weird in the song. And so I pronounce them weird, when I say it.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: It's like you can't just speak the lyrics of the song. By the twilight's last gleaming?
KAYLA: Yeah. Usually I can see, in that time of day.
SARAH: The donzerly time?
KAYLA: The donzerly time, yeah.
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: What time of day is donzerly, do you think? Can you put a number on that? Maybe like a –
SARAH: 5:00.
KAYLA: 5:00 AM.
SARAH: Yeah. Well it depends on what time of year it is.
KAYLA: Yeah, it depends on daylight savings time.
SARAH: It depends on daylight saving's time.
KAYLA: Yeah, okay. Well, we'll put a pin in that.
SARAH: In the middle of the summer, it's probably like 5:00 AM.
KAYLA: All right, sounds good.
SARAH: Okay. Did you get very far?
KAYLA: I mean today I drove kind of far away, 20 minutes away. So –
SARAH: Like, does he have a car?
KAYLA: I did have a car, yeah.
SARAH: Was it love at first sight?
KAYLA: With my car? No, I don't really care about cars.
SARAH: Did she put up a fight?
KAYLA: My car?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah, her check engine light has been on for a while.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: But my dad said it's fine.
SARAH: How much dough did he spend?
KAYLA: On the car? Probably a lot, I mean it's a car.
SARAH: Could she get me a friend?
(20:00)
KAYLA: My car? Could my car get you a friend? I don't know, it's not like one of those cars that attracts people –
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: To it, you know, so probably not.
SARAH: I have a tiny note, it's in size five font, that says, why the fuck is, “Can she get me a friend?”, the thing that people take pause at, and not, did she put up a fight?
KAYLA: Yeah. I don't – Yeah, because in that song they're singing that, and then what's his face is like, "Can she get me a friend?" And then I'm like ugh –
SARAH: You've ruined it. Well it's because –
KAYLA: But I mean – Well, I think – She's a desperate ho.
SARAH: I know but, "Did she put a fight?" really should have ended it.
KAYLA: And now it would, maybe.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But at that time they were probably like –
SARAH: You're not wrong. Okay. Mary, did you know –
KAYLA: (sings) That your baby boy – Oh that's another song.
SARAH: That is the same song.
KAYLA: That someone ended up twerking to.
SARAH: Oh my God, I hate it. Go home. Mary, did you know?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So she did know, that the sleeping child she's holding –
KAYLA: Was Jesus? Yeah.
SARAH: Is the great I Am?
KAYLA: Yeah, because the angel was like, bitch, you're about to have Jesus. So I would hope she remembered that when she birthed him.
SARAH: The great I Am-bic pentameter?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Yeah, she birthed out –
SARAH: Shakespeare?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: What child is this? She said, after she birthed it.
KAYLA: Well bitch, it's yours.
SARAH: It's Jesus.
KAYLA: It just came out of her vagina, right?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And now she looks down at it, and she's like, what's that? Where did this come from? What's this? What's this?
SARAH: What are this?
KAYLA: Did she black out, and then she was like, oh fuck, I had this baby?
SARAH: I mean if I were having a baby, I would hope that I would black out and not remember it.
KAYLA: I mean, yeah. You don't remember the pain, I know that.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: Because that's how the body works, like you can't relive the pain.
SARAH: I mean, I wouldn't want to relive it.
KAYLA: Oh I know, but your body just works like that –
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: In traumatic situations, you like just don't remember how bad the pain was.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But yeah, it's Jesus. And I really hope she would know that.
SARAH: Okay. Whose house is this? Wait, who named Jesus? Did Mary name Jesus? Did she just make up a name?
KAYLA: I thought the angel was like, his name is going to be Jesus.
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: We're post-Catholic, what do you want? You know?
SARAH: I don't know. Okay, whose house is this? It's my house now.
KAYLA: Well, I mean we're renting it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But we don't own it.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: So it's our landlord.
SARAH: Ugh, goddamn it. But it's my house now.
KAYLA: I mean it's one sixth –
SARAH: Because that is the answer, that is posed in the song.
KAYLA: That is the answer that is posed in the song, but I would argue this is only one sixth your house, because you pay for one sixth –
SARAH: One sixth of it.
KAYLA: Sixth of it.
SARAH: There's an Ed Sheeran song –
KAYLA: Great.
SARAH: Where he says, "Sixth Street," but he says, "Sixth Street." He says, "Sixth – "
KAYLA: He also sounds like he says he's only going to love that girl until she's 17.
SARAH: Huh?
KAYLA: The song where he says, "Loving you till we're 70 – "
SARAH: Oh, "We're 70?"
KAYLA: It definitely sounds like he's saying 17, and you're like, that's dumb.
SARAH: But also, like I hope that he doesn’t just stop when they turn 70.
KAYLA: Well yeah, here's the thing is when you turn 70, you stop getting loved by Ed Sheeran. You get to 92, and you can't celebrate Christmas anymore –
SARAH: And you can't – Like you know?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And if you're younger than 1 or older than 92 –
KAYLA: Yeah, it's only –
SARAH: No Merry Christmas for you.
KAYLA: Only for kids, from 1 to 92.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And in between there, you can also be loved by Ed Sheeran.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: But there's –
SARAH: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Do I want to know?
KAYLA: Probably. I feel like you like knowing things.
SARAH: Okay. Thank you for letting me know.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anybody have a map?
KAYLA: There's one behind me.
SARAH: Oh my God, you're right. Also, I have Google Maps, which is so cool.
KAYLA: Yeah, I also have that.
SARAH: Do you own any paper maps?
KAYLA: There might be some in my car? I know we used to always have a map of Michigan in the car, when I was younger. I doubt we do anymore.
SARAH: I mean, all Michiganders carry a map of Michigan with them, at all times.
KAYLA: Yes, they have –
SARAH: They carry two of them.
KAYLA: But we had the paper one, like in the car.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And I remember my parents, would have to like pull it out. And it would be huge.
SARAH: Yeah, we –
KAYLA: And they'd have to be like –
SARAH: We used to go on – I remember one time we went on a really long road trip, and me and my sister, both had big old atlases. And we followed the path with highlighters –
KAYLA: That's cute.
SARAH: That was our entertainment in the car.
KAYLA: Yeah, but I might have –
SARAH: To Florida.
KAYLA: Some laying around, but I don't purposely have any paper maps, that I've like gotten on purpose.
SARAH: Okay. Gotten on purpose? Do you often get maps on accident?
KAYLA: Yeah, often. It's blackout. And then all of a sudden it's, what child is this?
SARAH: And there's this map, you know what map is this?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah. And then you're like, whose house is this? And you're like, do I want to know?
KAYLA: Yeah. And you're like, does my mother know whose house this is?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's a lot.
SARAH: Oh say can you see? No, I can't see it. I can't see whose house this is. And this one I made a note that says, I can't believe it took me so long, to get to that one. Are you ready for it?
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: How you feeling?
KAYLA: How did that take you so long?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: I mean, I feel like we're already into it. I'm feeling good. I feel like I had too much sugar, and not enough food today, so I'm feeling a little wired.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. And you eat constantly.
KAYLA: I need to eat better, anyway –
SARAH: Yeah. Are you feeling heartbroken, and jonesing for a nicotine rush?
KAYLA: I would not say I currently feel heartbroken, or like I am jonesing for a nicotine rush. No.
SARAH: Are you jonesing in general?
KAYLA: So jonesing is like, you want something?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I mean yeah sure, I want a lot of things.
SARAH: But are you jonesing for it, you know?
KAYLA: No. I don't think I'm actively jonesing. I'm dormantly jonesing right now.
SARAH: Dormantly jonesing?
KAYLA: Yeah, is how I would identify myself.
SARAH: Somewhat –
KAYLA: So it means I'm not actively going after anything, right now.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: But maybe later I'll be jonesing for some No Thai? I dunno –
SARAH: I mean, I am a rockstar. I've got my rock moves. And I don't need you.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So guess what?
KAYLA: Oh, bye?
SARAH: No, I'm having more fun, now that we're done.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: Do you have anything, that you would like me to guess what?
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: I'm not sure.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: It was a good question, what?
KAYLA: Should I ask you guess –
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay, guess what?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Oh, okay. That was a good segment, we just had.
SARAH: Improv, guys –
KAYLA: You're supposed to always say yes, that's the improv rule.
SARAH: Yes, and?
KAYLA: Is you always say, yes, and?
SARAH: Well I said no, so –
KAYLA: Well –
SARAH: Oh I'm so sad, there's a number of the members of the cast, of the Good Place –
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Not like Kristen Bell, but like D'Arcy Carden, and Marc Evan Jackson – I shouldn't start naming them, because then I'll feel like I'm required to name all of them. They're doing an improv show, or whatever. And I'm like, I want to go. But it's in LA –
KAYLA: But we don't live there.
SARAH: I don't live there anymore. What do you want from me?
KAYLA: From you specifically?
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Usually some goddamn peace and quiet.
SARAH: (pause) Well, I just gave it to you.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: So you're welcome. What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?
KAYLA: I don't think those are very funny concepts.
SARAH: But what is funny about them?
KAYLA: About peace, love, and understanding?
SARAH: Yeah. It sounded like you said pizza love.
KAYLA: Pizza love.
SARAH: I’m wearing a hat that says pizze.
KAYLA: I don't want any pizza. What could be funny about those? I get the irony that they don't happen.
SARAH: That's not funny.
KAYLA: It's some dark humor, I'm throwing at you.
SARAH: Oh God, I'm so sick of analyzing why things are funny.
KAYLA: Yeah, I bet you are.
SARAH: Like in our humor class, I never want to think about why things are funny, ever again.
KAYLA: That's how I feel about literally every concept, ever, after a psych class.
SARAH: What are we doing? What did I miss?
KAYLA: I feel like I've caught you up on a lot of the things you missed, I don't know.
SARAH: Yeah. I feel like there's got to be something, because I was in France, as you know.
KAYLA: Yeah, you were. But when you were in France, I was also in France, so I feel like –
SARAH: Yeah, that's true. But I'm back in Virginia now.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I've got to go to New York.
KAYLA: Oh yes, so we had this war.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You missed that –
SARAH: Did we win?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Oh, that's okay –
KAYLA: But you missed it, yeah.
SARAH: And there's this new guy, right?
KAYLA: Oh –
SARAH: His name is like Alex, or something?
KAYLA: Oh yeah, he's a bitch ass ho.
SARAH: He's a bitch ass ho?
KAYLA: He just came out popping Hamildrop, so –
SARAH: I haven't listened to it yet. For anyone who's super confused –
KAYLA: It's so good.
SARAH: This line is from Hamilton. So we're now discussing American history.
KAYLA: Sarah, the new Hamildrop, is like the best –
SARAH: I've heard amazing things.
KAYLA: It's my absolute favorite one. Can we stop right now, and listen to that?
SARAH: No, I have to be somewhere.
KAYLA: Okay. But ugh. It's so good.
SARAH: Okay, so I missed the Hamildrop, is what I missed?
KAYLA: Yep, that's what you missed.
SARAH: Oh –
KAYLA: Which is a shame, because it's the best one.
SARAH: I will listen to it, keep your pantaloons on your body.
KAYLA: I plan on it, they're kind of hard to take off. Kind of tight.
SARAH: Okay, pantaloons are underwear, not pants.
KAYLA: I mean, I guess. But I'd have to take off my pants, to take off my pantaloons.
SARAH: I don't want you to do that.
KAYLA: Okay. You asked.
SARAH: This is a business enterprise. And you must be appropriate.
KAYLA: Are you going to call HR on me?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I feel like I would be HR.
SARAH: I think you're HR.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: What if Miranda's HR?
KAYLA: Don't involve Miranda in this.
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: Don't involve her. She's not on the payroll.
SARAH: Oh my God. I was about to say, we don't have a payroll. And then I was like, yes, we do.
KAYLA: We do, but we can't afford to put anyone else, but the two of us on it. We can't even afford to have both of us, on the payroll.
SARAH: (laughing) I can't pay rent, with the five dollars I make off this podcast.
KAYLA: Yeah. No, she can't.
SARAH: Who dat girl?
KAYLA: Miranda.
SARAH: Okay. Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?
KAYLA: Well, everyone lives, and everyone –
(30:00)
SARAH: No, not true.
KAYLA: Well everyone's that's a person, is alive at some point.
SARAH: Yeah, but have I ever really been alive?
KAYLA: Okay, so people with a good life live. Everyone dies, no matter how bad your life was. Who tells your story? If you're lucky, old white men, because they dictate history.
SARAH: I don't want old white men to tell my story.
KAYLA: Well, that's the only way your story is being told.
SARAH: But they'll tell my story wrong.
KAYLA: Yeah, they will. But the only way that a lot of people are going to hear your story, is if it's old white men, that are telling it.
SARAH: Or we can change the culture, so that it's not just old white men who tell the story.
KAYLA: Yeah, we'll definitely have that done by the time you die.
SARAH: I'm going to live forever, bitch.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I actually really don't want to do that, that seems horrible.
KAYLA: It seems like too much.
SARAH: Like on one hand, humans are afraid of death. But who the fuck would want to live forever you know?
KAYLA: Yeah no, it would be awful.
SARAH: Like the fact that you cannot die –
KAYLA: It sounds painful.
SARAH: Terrifying. That may or may not be a topic, in my next writing project. Don't plagiarize me.
KAYLA: Oh –
SARAH: That's why I'm not saying anything more.
KAYLA: Okay. Okay.
SARAH: There are a lot of questions from Hamilton, that I didn't write down.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: We might have time for them. So we'll come back to that, I'll have to just come up with them, off the top of my head.
KAYLA: Oh, we can do a little segment.
SARAH: Consider the coconut? The what?
KAYLA: Oh, so the question is, the what?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So the coconut, consider the trees.
SARAH: No, I don't want to.
KAYLA: But we have to.
SARAH: I know that like Chris Jackson wants me to do that, and I respect him as the first President of the United States of America, but no.
KAYLA: You have to. That was not Chris Jackson.
SARAH: Yes, it is.
KAYLA: That's saying, consider the coconuts? That's Dwayne The Rock Johnson, that played Maui.
SARAH: No, Maui doesn't sing that line. Her dad sings that line. This is at the beginning. We're talking about Moana.
KAYLA: Oh. Oh.
SARAH: This is at the beginning.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: And her dad, who is played by Chris Jackson –
KAYLA: Okay yeah, I thought Maui sang that.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Okay, yes. I take it back.
SARAH: Okay, are you going to consider the coconut?
KAYLA: You would need to consider the coconut?
SARAH: The what?
KAYLA: Consider the trees. I just told you –
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: (singing) Papa, can you hear me?
KAYLA: (laughs) Yes I can.
SARAH: Are you sure?
KAYLA: Slow twerk to Papa Can You –
SARAH: No, make it stop.
KAYLA: I'm so sad that you weren't there for that.
SARAH: Where can I find a woman like that?
KAYLA: Like what?
SARAH: Like that.
KAYLA: Probably, so go – You know your friend Jessie –
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: So go to his house –
SARAH: Does he have a girl?
KAYLA: Yeah, his girlfriend is where you're going to find a woman like that.
SARAH: But like, am I going to be a homewrecker?
KAYLA: Yeah, definitely.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: And then you're going to sing about it. And there's no way Jessie's girlfriend's not going to find out, because you just released a song about it. And it did pretty well.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So it might ruin that friendship, maybe.
SARAH: But at least now I know where to find a woman like that, you know?
KAYLA: Well yeah, I mean you know where to find Jessie's girl. I don't know if you know where to find another woman like that, that isn't Jessie's girl.
SARAH: I'll have to find another Jessie –
KAYLA: Maybe Jessie's girl –
SARAH: It's Rebecca Donaldson, it's Becky.
KAYLA: No, maybe Jessie's girl has a sister.
SARAH: That was the last one I've written.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: But we have a little more time, so I'd like to really delve into Hamilton.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: They're all going to be off the top of my head.
KAYLA: Oh good.
SARAH: How do you write, like you're running out of time?
KAYLA: Probably really fast.
SARAH: I wish I could write, like I was running out of time.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I write so slow.
KAYLA: Yes, you do.
SARAH: It's not my fault. Hamialton, is what I just typed.
KAYLA: I can think of one.
SARAH: Hit me with it?
KAYLA: How does a bastard, orphan son of a whore –
SARAH: And a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean, impoverished by providence and scholar –
KAYLA: That's a very long sentence.
SARAH: Impoverished, but – How does –
KAYLA: I have to say it.
BOTH: How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore, and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean, by providence impoverished in squalor, grow up to be a hero, and a scholar?
SARAH: Question mark.
KAYLA: That's a long question.
SARAH: Karaoke, with Kayla and Sarah.
KAYLA: Okay, so how did he do it? All that, and then become a scholar, is the question?
SARAH: He wrote like he was running out of time.
KAYLA: You answered a question with a question, Sarah.
SARAH: I didn't. I answered it with a statement. Is it a question of if Burr, or which one?
KAYLA: I prefer when that question is phrased, "Is it a question of ish Bish, or which bitch?"
SARAH: Or which bitch?
KAYLA: What's the word, that you're supposed to – What was the song in Hamilton, they were like, swap this word with bitch, and then it's funny?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Do you remember? Okay. Well truly it is a question of which bitch, because he gets two out of three. So –
SARAH: He does get two out of three. Oh, am I talking too loud?
KAYLA: Yes, always.
SARAH: Me, you. You're talking too loud always.
KAYLA: I think we both talk too loud.
SARAH: When are the colonies going to rise up?
KAYLA: I don't –
SARAH: Like late 18th century?
KAYLA: Yeah. I don't remember the exact year, but yeah.
SARAH: Is he in Jersey?
KAYLA: No, he was in England.
SARAH: Okay, cool. Thanks for letting me know.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: John Adams?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Yeah, unfortunately. Let's see, what else do we have? Okay, a follow up question to our first question. How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore, go on and on? Grow into more of a phenomenon?
KAYLA: Probably because, he just honestly tried really hard.
SARAH: He really did.
KAYLA: And I feel like that's the bulk of it, ss that he was like, I'm just really going to keep trying, until someone murders me.
SARAH: He's going to write like he's running out of time?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Gentleman of the jury, I'm curious, bear with me. Are you aware that we're making history?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: With this pod? No, you're right.
KAYLA: Yeah, this is an historic podcast.
SARAH: Historically important. Why do you assume you're smartest in the room?
KAYLA: Because I'm American, that's always what we do.
SARAH: (sighs) That's true.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Nope.
SARAH: Why do you always say what you believe?
KAYLA: Well, I mean I just think it's probably like the best way, to do things. To be like open and honest about –
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: What you're thinking and feeling.
SARAH: When it's appropriate.
KAYLA: When it's appropriate. Yeah.
SARAH: Can we confer, sir?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: The correct answer was, is this a legal matter?
KAYLA: Yes. And it's important to me.
SARAH: Burr, you're a better lawyer than me? Lawyer? Lurr?
Who's your client?
KAYLA: The US Constitution.
SARAH: The new US Constitution.
KAYLA: The new US Constitution? No.
SARAH: The first one was – No way.
KAYLA: No way. No.
SARAH: Would that be enough?
KAYLA: No, probably not. Well, obviously not, it didn't work out.
SARAH: Treasury or State?
KAYLA: State. I'm mixing it up.
SARAH: What if he had said – Okay context, for those of you who don't know Hamilton.
KAYLA: Well, if they don't know Hamilton, I feel like they've probably been lost for a good while now.
SARAH: Oh yeah. Well okay, so George Washington was like, hey, Alexander Hamilton, I want you on my cabinet. Do you want to be the Secretary of The Treasury, or Secretary of State? And he said, Treasury. What if he had said, State? Our banks, our bank situation –
KAYLA: Our banks would not be how they are.
SARAH: America might have just flopped.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Frankly.
KAYLA: Probably.
SARAH: Without the whole bank shenanigans.
KAYLA: Probably, because we would have like no financial setup.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Wow, what a different world we would live in.
KAYLA: Alternate universe.
SARAH: Alternate universe, he said State. Oh my God, now I'm just thinking about like, every little decision, have such a huge impact on history.
KAYLA: No, don't. Don't do this to yourself Sarah. You're prone to spiraling. And this is not a good spiral for you.
SARAH: It is an interesting spiral.
KAYLA: It is. But you're busy. And I would –
SARAH: I'm not busy right now.
KAYLA: Yeah, but you have things to do. And like I don't trust you to not spiral, so let's not.
SARAH: What was that one guy who ran for president a bunch of times, and always lost?
KAYLA: Oh, I don't know, but me.
SARAH: What if he won?
KAYLA: What if that guy from Heartland, that was running for Attorney General won?
SARAH: What if Trump fell over more often?
KAYLA: What if he – Oh, the FBI, what if he just died?
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: Sometimes you say things, and then you're like –
SARAH: What if we didn't have the Electoral College?
KAYLA: Then things would be a lot better.
SARAH: Things would be very different. Yeah.
KAYLA: Probably. Underwire.
SARAH: I showed Kayla this the other day, it was a tweet. And the person was talking about – Because people's argument for the Electoral College, is that that's what the Founding Fathers wanted. And the Electoral College is the thing where it's like – Whatever, it doesn't matter.
KAYLA: It's stupid, and that's all you need to know.
SARAH: Also they were talking about the Senate, and how like each state gets two Senators, regardless of how many people live there. And the whole thing, I don't remember which Founding Father it was, but someone said something to a friend on Twitter. They were like, but what if California has 50 million people in it? And the response was, the what has how many people? Because California wasn't a thing.
KAYLA: No. I did see that tweet. It was a good one.
SARAH: Yeah, that's because I showed it to you, you dumb fuck.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: Last question. I'm going to ask you the last question in the musical.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Uh-oh, that's sad.
SARAH: Who tells your story? We already asked that.
KAYLA: Yeah, you fucked it up. That could have been a lot more dramatic.
SARAH: Have I done enough?
KAYLA: No. Knowing you, probably not.
(40:00)
SARAH: I'm kidding. We're going to have a better question, as our last one.
KAYLA: Oh, you hate to see it.
SARAH: You hate to see it. Are you ready, for a Cabinet meeting?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Are you? Have you prepared some notes?
KAYLA: No. I'm busy.
SARAH: Then how are you ready?
KAYLA: I'm ready to listen. I don't have to talk. But I'm ready to see some people, throw some bows. Yeah.
SARAH: I mean yeah. I mean Cabinet battle number one, was pretty intense.
KAYLA: It's a lot.
SARAH: (singing) Sit down John, you fat motherfucker. I think that's number two though, isn't it?
KAYLA: Yeah, it's definitely not number one.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It doesn't make sense.
SARAH: Wow. I hope you enjoyed it.
KAYLA: What a wild time.
SARAH: Listen, I hope we answered a lot of your burning questions.
KAYLA: Yeah. If not? I don't know.
SARAH: If not? I don't know, send them to us. We're still trying to do that thing.
KAYLA: It's true.
SARAH: Yeah, did we miss any songs, between the last two? Let us know.
KAYLA: I mean definitely –
SARAH: Yeah, but we did go through quite a number.
KAYLA: We did. We did get through a lot.
SARAH: So poll, what is a donzerly light? Should we give some options?
KAYLA: I'm not partaking in this. I will not help with this endeavor.
SARAH: Okay, let's have a real poll. And then we can also have that question.
KAYLA: Really? Because I run the Twitter, so you can tweet it yourself, if you want to do that.
SARAH: I have the power to do that.
KAYLA: Let's see if you remember.
SARAH: What's the poll then?
KAYLA: What was our poll, last time we did this?
SARAH: I don't know. Go look.
KAYLA: Ugh.
SARAH: While you're doing that. We're going to go a little out of order, because I'm on a time crunch here.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Beef of the week, do you have beef?
KAYLA: Not really.
SARAH: My beef is that Kayla thought it was donzerly, until she was 21.
KAYLA: Is that really your beef? Because I feel like –
SARAH: It's the funniest thing.
KAYLA: I think it really gave you a lot of enjoyment.
SARAH: I going to tell everyone I know.
KAYLA: Please don't.
SARAH: I will.
KAYLA: Sometimes the people we both know, I care about their opinion of me. (laughs)
SARAH: Which is why I'm going to tell them.
KAYLA: Ah, good.
SARAH: Ah-hah. No, my beef of the week is that – I can't immediately think of any beef. That's probably good, right?
KAYLA: Yeah. I feel like I've been having an okay week.
SARAH: My beef of the week is that – I mean, I haven't watched my TV shows from last week yet.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: I mean my beef of the week, is that I haven't seen Book of Mormon yet.
KAYLA: Oh, I found it, from the last –
SARAH: What was it?
KAYLA: How deep is your love? One to two feet? Three to four feet? Five to ten feet? Ten plus feet? So we really did ask that question, last time.
SARAH: We really did.
KAYLA: We really did.
SARAH: I mean, I guess life on Mars.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. That's a good one.
SARAH: Can we legitimately ask that question?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay, life on Mars? Answer one, is no. Answer two, is like little life.
KAYLA: Little life, small life.
SARAH: Answer three is intelligent life.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Answer four, is donzerly.
KAYLA: No. It won't be. Because I'm –
SARAH: If it isn't there, the people will riot.
KAYLA: No, they won't.
SARAH: Please riot, if it's not there.
KAYLA: Hold on, I need to write that down.
SARAH: Please include donzerly. (laughs)
KAYLA: I won't. If you want it to be – No.
SARAH: Okay. Anyway, back to my beef of the week. My beef of the week is that I just like, even though I have a bunch of days off, I'm still going to have to do a lot of work. And I'm always behind, always constantly. You know.
KAYLA: I do.
SARAH: What's your beef of the week? Is it the fact, that I keep giving you shit about donzerly?
KAYLA: No, because I a) deserve it –
SARAH: Mm-hmm. You really do.
KAYLA: I deserve it. And like I give you a lot of shit –
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: So I double deserve it. My beef for the week is, that I need to take better care of my body.
SARAH: Ugh, routine.
KAYLA: Yeah. I'd say that's it.
SARAH: Okay. Cool. You can find that poll, or tell us about your beef of the week, or make fun of Kayla about donzerly, on our Twitter @soundsfakepod, you can also email us soundsfakepod@gmail.com. Please someone illustrate what they think donzerly is. (laughing) This is so great, I can’t wait to tell everyone.
KAYLA: Who are you going to tell?
SARAH: Miranda, Evan –
KAYLA: Wow, two people.
SARAH: Oh, but they will both give you shit for it.
KAYLA: Yes. But that’s only two people.
SARAH: I know. I’ll tweet about it.
KAYLA: Great.
SARAH: I’ll post it on my Facebook.
KAYLA: No you will not.
SARAH: I’ll make a billboard. (laughs)
KAYLA: With what budget?
SARAH: Donzerly’s budget. I have a special budget for donzerly. We also have a Tumblr – I was going to say donzerly.tumblr.com. (laughs) Someone please save that handle and that URL, it’s D-O-N-Z-E-R-L-Y. Oh, I love it. You can also find us on Tumblr, donzerly.tumblr.com. (laughs) Kayla’s just staring at me so sadly.
We also have a Patreon where you can give us your donzerly dollars –
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: That is patreon.com/ -
KAYLA: I’ve never hated myself so much in my entire life.
SARAH: It’s patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Our $2 patrons are Sara Jones and Keith McBlaine, our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Perry Fieri – Fier –
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: Drew Finney was written first, but I read Perry and then I read Perry Finero.
KAYLA: And I’m the stupid one.
SARAH: Fiero, from Wicked. Drew Finney and Perry Fiero.
Our $10 patrons are Emma Fink - is Emma Fink. She’s plural. You can find her on YouTube by looking up Emma T Fink. Also, donzerly.
Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more donzerly in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your donzerly cows.
SARAH: Yes.