Episode 257: The Friendship Recession

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SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello, welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aroace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me.

KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, that's me, Kayla.

SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.

KAYLA: On today's episode, the Friendship Recession.

SARAH AND KAYLA: Sounds Fake But Okay

(theme music plays)

SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.

KAYLA: Welcome back to the podcast. We are, what are we doing a podcast right now?

SARAH: Well, what are we not even gwiddying right now?

KAYLA: What are we gwiddying on the podcast?

SARAH: Kayla is, what are we doing the gwiddy on the podcast right now? witerawy gwiddying on the podcast right now?

SARAH: I'm so sorry. 

KAYLA: (laughing) How is this gonna be transcribed?

SARAH: I'm so sorry, Bagel.

KAYLA: witerawy Bagel?

SARAH: Witerawy?

KAYLA: Witerawy Bagel I’m so sorry

SARAH: If you don't know what we're talking about, don't worry about it

KAYLA: just look it up. Just look it up. 

SARAH: Oh

KAYLA: It’s a thing. Sometimes you gotta witerawy gwiddy.

SARAH: Sometimes your name is Sawah and it is New Yeaw's. There's a video of me as a child on New Year's and I go, hi, I'm Sarah and it is New Year's.

KAYLA: I want that as a sound clip so bad.

SARAH: Anyway.

KAYLA: I need it.

SARAH: Anyway.

KAYLA: Oh, hi.

SARAH: This is a podcast.

KAYLA: We have a topic this week, huge news for the class. I want to address something I saw someone say after last week's episode. I think it was someone in Discord because last week I was like, there's so many podcasts out there when they come in with just like a couple talking points and then they just like shoot the shit. And someone in the Discord said, I wasn't aware that that's not what you guys were doing.

SARAH: (laughing)

KAYLA: I guess I just want to set it straight because you're right, that is like what Sarah and I have done today is we watched an eight minute video.

SARAH: Uh huh

KAYLA: We decided on this topic.

SARAH: I watched it one and a half times.

KAYLA: And then we were like, all right, let's just wing it. What I meant though was that there's some podcasts that are just like, here's a couple of weird articles I saw this week. Maybe we'll talk about them or we'll get distracted and do other things instead and that's fine.

SARAH: Well, our podcast still has a purpose in that it has a topic.

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: Everything needs to in some way come back to aspec things.

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: And there are other podcasts where they 

KAYLA: Just get to talk

SARAH: shoot the shit and they don't have a subject necessarily.

KAYLA: Their lives must be so easy.

SARAH: But you know, lovely Discord friend, you're correct.

KAYLA: You're not wrong. But also you didn't have to call us out like that. Kind of fucked up.

SARAH: But apparently you did. Cool. Do we have any housekeeping?

KAYLA: I don't think so.

SARAH: Okay. Kayla, what are we talking about this week? We gave a little sneak preview.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: It's time to dive in.

KAYLA: This week, you know, the world, we're in an economic recession

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: or we're about to be. I don't really understand how you decide when it starts, but you know what else we're apparently in? It's a friendship recession, everyone.

SARAH: Can I just give you a quick pause and say that, especially at the beginning of COVID when like the economy was going pffbff yes, and sorry, Bagel, and it just kept getting worse. I was just like waiting for it to turn into a real depression, not because I wanted that, but because I had a good tweet 

KAYLA: and what was it? Share.

SARAH: It was going to be something to the effect of like, oh, now you're depressed, girl?

KAYLA: I've been.

SARAH: I've been depressed.

KAYLA: That is good

SARAH: But luckily that didn't happen and I don't care about Twitter anymore, except for my own personal

KAYLA: BTS purposes

SARAH: BTS, but I don't care about my personal Twitter.

KAYLA: Hold on though. Someone could still make this joke. A man with the male pattern balding could be like, oh, we're in a recession. My hairline has been doing that for years.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: That's a good one.

SARAH: Anyway, I want to be clear that I am glad we did not enter an economic depression.

KAYLA: I don't know. You kind of sound upset about it. I don’t know.

SARAH: Well, because you know, I would have tweeted that and it would have gotten two, KAYLA: maybe three likes.

SARAH: I was thinking like optimistic 20.

KAYLA: Yeah, I think that's a good optimistic guess.

SARAH: Especially now because like

KAYLA: You don’t use your twitter

SARAH: my tweets are getting way less because I don't use Twitter and no one else uses Twitter except for on my fan Twitter, because everyone hates Elon 

(05:00)

SARAH: and you're ruining the fucking website.

KAYLA: Where is fan Twitter going to go? Like, do you guys have a plan to migrate?

SARAH: Tumblr?

KAYLA: exit strategy?

SARAH: The general plan is people have backup Tumblrs

KAYLA: That makes sense

SARH: but Tumblr operates so much differently than Twitter does. It's harder. For someone who has been on both as a fan platform, they're just very different experiences.

KAYLA: They are. It is upsetting because like Twitter, when it was not terrible, like there's a reason so many fandoms gravitated there, like it is built very well for that kind of thing. And 

SARAH: yeah

KAYLA: Tumblr is just very different. It's less community based.

SARAH: It's more about creating content 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: rather than creating community, which is the appeal, especially for army Twitter. Anyway, so the friendship recession

KAYLA: Yeah. Tell me about it

SARAH: I found a video 

KAYLA: How’d you find this video?

SARAH: recommended to me and then I did the little right click open in a new tab and I was like, I'm not watching this right now.

KAYLA: I’m not emotionally prepared for it yet

SARAH: And then I didn't watch it and then another day passed and I didn't watch it and then I think it was yesterday, maybe I was like, I'm gonna watch this and then I watched it. That's the story.

KAYLA: Good job

Sarah: Anyway, it is a video, it is by the Big Think, the channel, and it's this man called Richard Reeves. Wow, that was very British of me, man called

KAYLA: yeah very British

SARAH:  I've also been watching some more videos recently from my linguist friend, he's a British dude and I last night also watched a video about how British English is becoming more Americanized.

KAYLA: Good

SARAH: And so I just decided to strike back against that.

KAYLA: Yeah, you're keeping it alive.

SARAH: Keeping it alive. Anyway, this dude named Richard Reeves, which he's talking, the first line of the description is why friendships are becoming rarer in America, explained by author Richard Reeves, which is funny because this guy's British. But it's a video, it is eight minutes and one second long.

KAYLA: I will link it in the show notes.

SARAH: Yes

KAYLA: So you can watch it

SARAH: and there's also a transcript

KAYLA: Love

SARAH: if you hop in the description, you can do a little clicky and then it'll take you to their website and then you click on transcript and you can read it, which is great for this. And also for accessibility purposes

KAYLA: Yes but mostly for us

SARAH: you know, unfortunately for accessibility purposes, it is white text on a black background, which is, which no one wants.

KAYLA: No one asked for that.

SARAH: No one asked for that. Like it's fine on YouTube, but it's like, yeah, well, I think YouTube, it's like a, it's a charcoal. I don't know. I don't know what it is.

KAYLA: Not the charcoal.

SARAH: Okay. Basically, where do we want to start?

KAYLA: I mean, I guess let's just kind of like summarize the points of the video. I would highly recommend watching it. We're not going to like retell the whole thing here.

SARAH: It's not long.

KAYLA: Yeah, it's eight minutes.

SARAH: But it's informative. Eight minutes and one second. Get it together. And it's produced very well.

KAYLA: It is. It's good. Good video. But basically it's this dude talking about how there's been like some recent research to come out, especially about men, that like close friendships are just like on the decline. Like the amount of close friends people have is lower than it used to be.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And then he kind of goes into like his theories about like why this could be happening. He kind of talks about the science behind why friendship is important and how friendships are formed and things like that. So yeah, it was just very interesting and very like relevant, I think, to a lot of things that we talk about. If you've read our book, it's very relevant to like… the whole chapter on friendship. So.

SARAH: yeah, let me just hit you with some of the statistics that he hits you with in this video.

KAYLA: Please.

SARAH: Today, about 15% of young men say they don't have a close friend. And in the 90s, that was 3%. In 1990, almost half of young men, so 45%, said that if they had to turn to someone in a time of trouble, it would be a close friend, but now only 22% said that and 36% of men said that they would turn to their parents, which is interesting and I think is reflective on changing familial structures and relationships. Like

KAYLA: yeah

SARAH: people either have a good relationship with their family or a bad one.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And it's like people have more options in terms of like choosing to maintain that relationship or not.

KAYLA: Yeah. Well, I also think like people are, and he makes this point in the video too, of like people are like getting married later

SARAH: Mhm

KAYLA: and like making kind of those like major life changes

(10:00)

KAYLA: later in life, which means you're staying like…

SARAH: You're staying with your parents longer.

KAYLA: People are living with their parents longer and also like, I don't want to say like not being independent young, but like I feel like people are not like… ugh what am I trying to say?

SARAH: And also so many people can't, they can't afford just financially to become fully independent.

KAYLA: Yeah. Back in the day, like you turned 18 and you could be fully independent. Like you could have enough money to move out and like do whatever and set up your own life.

SARAH: Fucking buy a house at the ripe age of 18.

KAYLA: But now there's like a necessity to relying on your parents for a lot of things. Anyway.

SARAH: Yeah. I also found it interesting – jumping to female friendships about how he said that female friendships in particular have been impacted by COVID

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: because, let's see, he says that he thinks it's because female friendships are more based on physical relationships and face to face time, whereas male friendships tend to be mediated through activities or technology. And then one of the other points was about how, you know, people like geographically people are more likely to move away

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: from their friends and their family. And so it's harder to maintain those relationships. And luckily we do have the internet to maintain them.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: But it is a different type of relationship when it's over the world wide web.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And I think those two things for me both have impacted my life a lot. The COVID of it all, but also before that, the moving across the country of it all

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: has made it so that like all of my closest friends do not live here.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Like they live across the country. And I do have like very good friends who live in LA, but the quantity and like, you know, they have their own close friends and partners and relationships and whatever. And then I think then COVID happened and it gave me, an introvert, further excuse to stay in the house. And now I don't leave the house enough.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And so that definitely compounds on just the way that I have friendships, especially because I was fresh out of college and I was learning how to have adult friendships while all of this was happening.

KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, speaking as someone who has moved, like major moved, like what, three times?

SARAH: Mhm

KAYLA: I've lived in three states now post-college and I've had to like reform friendships every time.

SARAH: You've lived in four states because you lived in Michigan immediately after college.

KAYLA: Yeah, but that was – no, I didn't. I moved to Connecticut right after college.

SARAH: You basically lived in Michigan for a while in COVID.

KAYLA: Yes. Yeah. But I didn't like make any new friends.

SARAH: I'm just trying to give you a higher number to give you more.

KAYLA: Thank you.

SARAH: More credibility

KAYLA: I guess what I meant is I moved three new places.

SARAH: Yes

KAYLA: And I like met new people and have formed new groups of friends every time.

SARAH: And I have leeched at least one of those friends off of you.

KAYLA: Yes, exactly. But it is difficult because I have a very hard time maintaining friendships that are not in person. 

SARAH: Mhm

KAYLA: And I feel like the more friends you have, the harder it is to have close friends because you’re just like juggling more.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: So yeah, it is very difficult. And I think in the before times when people just graduated high school and then stayed in one spot, those were your friends for life. Or thinking about my parents, they graduated college, they moved to Indiana for a couple of years, and then they went back to Michigan. And when I think about the main friends that they have that have been with them their whole life, it's been their group of friends from college, their group of friends from their first jobs. And then they stopped moving, so it stayed that way.

SARAH: My parents –

KAYLA: And they stayed in the same jobs, people don't stay in one job anymore.

SARAH: Oh, yeah. My parents' closest friends are people they went to high school with

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: some of whom like my godfather, my mother went to junior high with, not middle school. Their district had junior high.

KAYLA: Junior high

SARAH: But they've known each other for a very long time. And then my mom's other good friend group, and also my dad has become my dad's friends also

(15:00)

SARAH: is the dance moms from when my sister and I did dance as children.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: There was a group of them that just started doing quote unquote book club, they've never read a book. It's been like 15 years.

KAYLA: They're illiterate, actually.

SARAH: Yeah, actually. But they have stayed doing that. And last weekend, my dad literally went up north with the dads of book club.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And that is because they have stayed in the same place and… you know.  Even if I'm thinking about my parents' work friends, my dad has his work BFF, and the people that my mom works with, every time she talks about them, she's like so and so from work. And I'm like, no, I know who you're talking about.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And it's just like, that's not, that's way less common in our generation.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And granted, we're still young, and we still have, you know, we'll think about it differently when we're 50.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: But where it is now, it seems like it's going in a very different direction.

KAYLA: Yeah, for sure. Because I think about my dad, he has worked at the same company since he left college.

SARAH: Mhm

KAYLA: You know, like a lot has changed about his company or whatever, it's the car industry, everything's bad.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: But like, there are people that he talks about that I remember him talking about when I was a child, like people that I have known him to reference for decades.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And that like, that just doesn't happen anymore. People don't work like that.

SARAH: (laughing) My grandma has, first of all, more friends than I do

KAYLA: Love that for her

SARAH: but like, my grandma has a very robust group of friends. Many of whom they met when my grandparents were like in their 20s. Like when my mom was like, very little, like the house they lived in then, like they had their neighbors and like, they're still friends with all of them.

KAYLA: That's crazy.

SARAH: I know. And so like, on my grandma's birthday, like, they sent some pictures, her friends came over for her birthday, and we received some photo evidence. All of the photos were blurry.

KAYLA: Good. Good. 

SARAH: There were some fingers in some of them.

KAYLA: Gotta. 

SARAH: But my grandma also has a really good friend who literally is, who was I talking about this with recently? Was it you? It wasn't on the pod though, about how my grandma has a friend who she has known literally her entire life.

KAYLA: Yes, you were telling me this. She stole her name.

SARAH: She stole her name, basically. My grandma was going to be named one thing, and then this other couple had their child a couple months first, before she was born, and they named her the name that my grandma was supposed to be named. So my grandma could not be named that because she lived in a very small town.

KAYLA: Classic.

SARAH: But they're still really good friends, and they have lived for the past 50, 55, 56, 57 years in different states

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: and they're still besties. They text now

KAYLA: Wow. Modern women

SARAH: but before then they would send each other emails, and they're still really good friends. And it's just like, I would like to be able to have that.

KAYLA: That would be nice.

SARAH: As when I'm 80.

KAYLA: We could do that. That could be us.

SARAH: I haven't known you since I was born.

KAYLA: Yeah, I guess that does make that part hard.

SARAH: What would happen to us if we didn't have this podcast after college?

KAYLA: I don't care to think about that at all. I actually don't care to think about that at all.

SARAH: You know what also is really, it's an interesting phenomenon? Group chats.

KAYLA: love a group chat.

SARAH: Because sometimes group chats can keep you in contact with people who you wouldn't ever text individually.

KAYLA: Yes, so many of the group chats I'm in.

SARAH: And they're people that I consider myself good friends with.

KAYLA: Yeah. But what am I going to text you about?

SARAH: And if it weren't for this specific group chat, I wouldn't ever talk to this person.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And that's a weird symptom of the 21st century.

KAYLA: Yeah. I actually was thinking about this in reference to other things the other day. I've had a lot more free time recently, like post book.

SARAH: Mm

KAYLA: Whether that is because I –

SARAH: I've had less.

KAYLA: That's interesting.

SARAH: (laughing) No, that's not true. I've just had worse mental health.

KAYLA: Yeah, you've just been unwell. And I don't know if it's that I actually have less to do or if that part of my brain is free now. 

(20:00)

KAYLA: And so it feels like I have more time. But anyway, I've been figuring out ways to fill my time. And it made me think, because so much of my time is just spent on my phone, on the internet. And it made me think that people back in the day, I was like, how the fuck did they fill their days? What were they doing? And then I was thinking about-

SARAH: Staring at shit.

KAYLA: Yes, but also social gatherings and social calls and the ladies’ sitting room and all this stuff like socializing was one of the only ways to stay occupied.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And so you needed to have more close friends because what the fuck else were you going to do with your day?

SARAH: Yeah, otherwise you're Boo Radley and you're just alone staring at the wall.

KAYLA: Just there. But like-

SARAH: Scaring children.

KAYLA: He's staring at children. And he kind of makes this point-

SARAH: Scaring children. Well, I guess he could stare at them too through the window.

KAYLA: The guy was kind of talking about this in the video too of you can get kind of your emotional support and your friend needs met without close friends because you can contact so many people in a very light way on the internet. But before that, you know what I mean? You couldn't do that.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And so it's just like, it makes me think that's why your grandma has stayed in touch with all these people so long. Because what the fuck else was she going to do?

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: Nothing

SARAH: It's also really another weird symptom of the internet that like I personally am like weirdly insecure about is on stan Twitter,  I have people that I know, that I have met in person that I have met in person in the last two months. Like I am friends with them. We have each other on Instagram and on BeReal and like we, I know these people. But I on Twitter am not in any group chats, like group DMs.

KAYLA: Mhm

SARAH: And I always feel so insecure about it.

KAYLA: Are a lot of people in them?

SARAH: Yeah, like they just like have groups.

KAYLA: Okay.

SARAH: And like I do sometimes like message people like individually, but like I'm not in and I'll like just respond to people on the timeline. So like it's not like I'm not talking to people.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: But like I'm always but like you can't like hop on the timeline and be like, someone 

KAYLA: let me in

SARAH: a group chat.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: Because then also like, what if someone weird answers?

KAYLA: right, you don't want that.

SARAH: And so I just like have this weird insecurity where it's like, people invite me to stuff.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: But I'm not, I feel like I'm slightly outside of the in group.

KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah.

SARAH: And so like, that's like a weird thing that you can, I don't know, like..

KAYLA: you can more visually see it.

SARAH: You can tell now like if you back in the day, if you were not invited to something, you wouldn't know. You wouldn't know unless someone talked about it or like you find out about it some some other way, but now it's like, you always know.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: And on the occasions, like, there have been some occasions where like there has been a falling out in a friend group that I am adjacent to. And someone was intentionally not invited to an event. And then a person who was at that event accidentally like posted on their story.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: And like, then the other person is like, what and everyone was like, you weren't supposed to fucking do like, I mean, it's like a weird politics.

KAYLA: It is. I think friend groups are a lot more public now.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: Like you can look at someone who you don't know very well on social media and be like, ah, yes, they're with their group again. Like I don't know you, I've barely talked to you, but I know what your circle looks like.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: Like that's something interesting I feel like I've been navigating here with roommates that I am like close friends with because we have like our group of four people that lives together and then we are like friends with our neighbors and then they have existing friends that we have met. And it's like a very interesting kind of like social politics of like, okay, we're making plans for this weekend. Do we want this to be a family event? Do we want to invite the cousins? Do we want it to make like

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: an extended family thing to invite like our friends’ friends who we only know a little bit? Like what kind of socializing are we interested in, like how much energy do we have to talk to people that we don't really know? And like, is it going to be weird to invite this person, but not this person?

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: It is because you can just you can tell more. Like people just talk. It's weird because people talk more. Like there is more communication

(25:00)

KAYLA: but it is less deep, I guess

SARAH: like they talk more and say less. 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: I need to go put my cherry coke in the fridge. Don't worry about it.

KAYLA: Oh, no. Oh, it's just me here. Um, hello. What do I have to share? I was watching Farmer Wants a Wife before this. Man, these farmers, y'all, are so stupid. I don't watch a ton of dating shows, but when I have watched like The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, I've never found myself getting angry at like the main person. I'm always angry at like the 20 women, but this time 

SARAH: Always angry at the 20 women.

KAYLA: These farmers are idiots.

SARAH: (laughing) Oh, you're talking about the farmer dating show?

KAYLA: Yes. I couldn't think of anything to discuss, so I was just telling them what I was doing before this.

SARAH: Good.

KAYLA: Which was Farmer Wants a Wife.

SARAH: For me? Total pivot.

KAYLA: Yes. Please

SARAH: Well, not totally.

KAYLA: Okay.

SARAH: As an aroace who's no interest in dating, the thing as well about people who are partnered is they have a built-in friend.

KAYLA: It is nice.

SARAH: And I do not have that.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And then in terms of like going on vacation or going on trips, it feels weird for me to be like, hey, I don't want to invite myself to be a third wheel because sometimes people will be like, oh, we're doing this with our other couple friend

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: whatever. And it's just like, that is something I've been thinking about a lot recently, is just like the inherent disadvantage

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: of not having a person, which obviously applies to people who are allo, who just aren't in a serious relationship as well.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: But like for many of those people, they don't see it as a permanent state of being.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Whereas for me, it's like, I don't have a built-in friend. And it would be nice if I had a built-in friend, but for friend reasons

KAYLA: For friend reasons yeah

SARAH: not for romance or sex reasons, which is a lot of the reason why people are drawn to QPRs.

KAYLA: Right. And I think you and I are both people who like to leech friends.

SARAH: Oh yeah.

KAYLA: And having a partner-

SARAH: I've never made a friend in my life.

KAYLA: Never in her life. Like having a partner does make that a lot easier.

SARAH: Mhm

KAYLA: And I think that's like, to me is specifically interesting about men because I often think men meet their friends through their partner.

SARAH: Mm

KAYLA: Like your dad is like, oh, here's my wife's friends and now I'm friends with the other husbands.

SARAH: Now, to be fair, their high school friends were all kind of my dad's friends. They were often, but like, it was like male friends.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: Anyway, continue.

KAYLA: Yeah. But like, I think like, it does not surprise me to hear that men have less close friends than women because –

SARAH: Fewer.

KAYLA: Fewer? Friends? You're about to have fewer friends. I'll tell you what!

SARAH: That's true.

KAYLA: Okay. So I think there is, you know, men are not allowed to be emotional. They're not allowed to be vulnerable. They're not allowed to say like, I would like a friend.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: Like it's a very awkward thing.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And so, you know, it has to be mediated by activities. Like the guy said, like a sport or you're gaming online or you meet them at work or you meet them through your wife.

SARAH: Mhm

KAYLA: So yeah. I mean, I think you're right. It is a big disadvantage. Because meeting people as a couple, it is easier, like even for me making friends with people who are not in a couple, like it is easier, it is easy for both of us to make a friend at the same time than just like, cause we get to reassure each other. Like –

SARAH: Yeah. And also if you're in a conversation, if all of you are in a conversation, you're less likely to have like a weird awkward silence.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Like you're able to kind of fill the space and build up that relationship so that it gets to the point where it's like, you don't necessarily have those like awkward beginning relationship silences or whatever.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Maybe I'm projecting. Maybe I-

KAYLA: No, I think-

SARAH: Too many awkward silences.

KAYLA: Who's to say? No, I think that's true that like when me and Dean moved to Louisiana, we made some really good friends that was like a guy and a girl. They're not dating, but they were really good friends. And so it was like easier for us to become friends with them because me and Dean had these conversations about like, do you think that they like us? Like are we, it was like we were dating them. It was very sweet actually. 

SARAH: (laughing) Yeah

KAYLA: But me and Dean were able to reassure each other of like, okay, well they said this or like they asked us to hang out. 

(30:00)

KAYLA: Like, do you think we're friends? Like this whole thing.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And it's easier than having that conversation by yourself and just being very insecure by yourself.

SARAH: Yeah. Yeah. Two things. I'm going to say them out loud.

KAYLA: So you don't forget.

SARAH: So that you don't forget. So that when I forget –

KAYLA: Interesting. Oh, okay. Alright.

SARAH: Okay. The first one has to do with German.

KAYLA: Okay.

SARAH: Okay. The second one that I'm going to say first is –

KAYLA: German.

SARAH: Is there was a bit in the video where he talked about how since divorce is more common, friend groups get split up more

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: and you win whoever in the divorce, you get so-and-so in the divorce, you whatever. And I think that is also, that is the one plus side of not having couple friends.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: It's like I have a friend who is a member of a couple and they were really close with another couple and they went on vacation together and they did stuff. And then that couple very suddenly broke up.

KAYLA: Yikes.

SARAH: And it was, and that couple lived together and it was a whole thing

KAYLA: messy.

SARAH: And that's just so messy when that's your closest friend group. And for some people, they might be able to move on from that and maintain that friend group. But one, it's never going to be the same.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: So at least at first, it's probably going to be very difficult.

KAYLA: Yeah. Because if, especially if it's a messy thing and even if you hang out with each person individually, the other person is going to come up

SARAH: It’s a different dynamic

KAYLA: people are going to want to ask like what you know, like, will you tell me if it's just, yeah, it's bad.

SARAH: Yeah. The other thing, the one thing in the video that did piss me off a little bit 

KAYLA: uh oh here we go

SARAH: was the guy mentioned how people are spending more time parenting. I found that very interesting. I think that is not true. I think men are spending more time parenting.

KAYLA: Interesting. I think you're right.

SARAH: Men and the rich.

KAYLA: Yes.

SARAH: Because women or people who could afford to have a nanny or a house mistress person, they had time.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: Or no, sorry. They didn't.

KAYLA: Yes.

SARAH: If they couldn't afford it or if they were, you know, they were spending all that time with their kids. And that's why like, I feel like female friendships are so important, especially I think back in the, I mean, they're always important, but like back in the day when women were just wives.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: And stay at home moms, like you had to have that outlet of people who understood, like other, cause otherwise all you have is your husband and like, sometimes those dudes.

KAYLA: Otherwise than all you have – bad.  The only thing that I, like the thing I immediately thought of with the parenting thing was that I definitely think you're right, that like men especially are spending more time parenting, but just taking away from time that they would usually spend going out with the boys.

SARAH: The boys.

KAYLA: The one thing that did make sense to me though, is I feel like I've always hear so many stories about like the eighties and how parents would just let their kids like wander the city by themselves.

SARAH: Parents have become more helicopter-y.

KAYLA: Right. So that was the only thing where I was like, okay, I could see that is like parents are less likely to just let their kids like wander the city or like come to the bar with them

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: (laughing) which was a thing that my grandparents would do with my mom was just like, we're going to the bar.

SARAH: (laughing) Going to the bar.

KAYLA: Come on.

SARAH: Yeah. Amazing.

KAYLA: So like that part I understood is like parents are, you know, have tighter leashes, but I do also think you're very right.

SARAH: And I wonder how much that differs too, I'm thinking of other countries where it is more common to let your kids off the leash sooner.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Like in Germany, kids will walk to school by themselves much younger than they will in the United States.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: I've seen some discourse recently about Japan, how like little kids will just like go on errands 

KAYLA: as small children. I remember watching.  What’s the show?

SARAH:  But then there's also been some discussion of like, people like, you know, this is what happens when you value your kids in a cycle. They also have like really high rates of like child porn and child, like, you know, so it's a, it's a, there's a take.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: But in the United States, those, those ages at which you see that happening are much higher 

(35:00)

SARAH: and they're much higher also than they used to be.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And it's, it's really interesting because you also, I don't know how related that is to like the surveillance state where like, you can, you can track everything and so like, parents want to track everything and they want to make sure that they're helicoptering over their child all the time. But also that did start happening, I think, before like iPhones became prevalent.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Like maybe this is also just my parents, like my mom specifically, not, she's not a helicopter parent, but she's like

KAYLA: But she’s involved

SARAH: she's a protective, yeah, she's protective and she's involved. And so like, like the, the reason I got a phone for like the first time I got a phone right before I started sixth grade and I got a phone because I was going to be walking home from school by myself for the first time and my mom was like, I don't want you to do that without having a cell phone.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: And, and so like, I think the like technology definitely influences all that, but I don't know. I wasn't staying home alone when I was 11.

KAYLA: You know

SARAH:  like even before then

KAYLA: to me, I think it started, it's parents started getting more vigilant about that kind of stuff in like the nineties. I think a lot of bad shit happened.

SARAH: Was it the war on drugs?

KAYLA: I think there, a lot of bad shit happened to kids in the eighties. I don't know. I think

SARAH: I blame it on Reagan

KAYLA: probably. And I think people finally got aware of like, this isn't good. You can't just let your kids smoke or whatever.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: But yeah, I mean, technology definitely makes it very weird because it's easier to track your kid, but then also who knows what they're doing on the internet.

SARAH: Mhm. So speaking of other countries. In German

KAYLA: Uh huh

SARAH: the way that you say like to make a friend is Freundin finden

KAYLA: Sorry Bagel

SARAH: Sorry Bagel. which is literally to find friends. And I just think that difference in lexicon is interesting.

KAYLA: Between like making versus finding.

SARAH: Making versus finding.

KAYLA: That’s interesting

SARAH: Cause like if you say in German, like Ich will eine Freundin machen, like someone will say like, Oh, you want to build a friend out of clay? Like that's what that means. 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: But if you say like, ich will eine freundin finden, that's like, I want to make a friend.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And so it's interesting to me. I'm kind of curious about how, if that impacts the way, cause I know like language, our native language impacts the way we think about things

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: and like the way language is structured and the way certain languages, you know, use certain formats, like influence the way we think. And so I'm curious to see if that has any impact on the way people think about friendship.

KAYLA: I mean, I could see it definitely making a difference because when I just think about the phrases of making a friend versus finding one, making a friend sounds harder. It sounds like you have to put

SARAH: active

KAYLA: work in finding one though, it feels like hopeful. It's like, Oh, there's always one out there. There are many friends out there. I just have to find them

SARAH: Right

KAYLA: which like, I think is, I don't know. It's interesting. Cause I think when you're younger, it is very like that. Like when you are a kid in school, it is just finding a friend. You're just surrounded by other kids. Everyone is your friend. Like, Oh, we played for five seconds, best friend.

SARAH: And you’re besties

KAYLA: And when you're an adult, it does feel a lot more like making friends. You have to put in an active effort to go places where friends would be and then talk to people. 

SARAH: And go places where other adults are interested in finding new friends. Because not all people are always interested in making new friends.

KAYLA: Pickleball court

SARAH: Pickleball court. And that's why when people are like, Oh, I don't know how to make friends as an adult. The advice is often join an activity or a group because you got to find something in common

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH:  you're not necessarily going to find your BFF just walking the street. Also because this is America and no one fucking walks the street.

KAYLA: I walk the street.

SARAH: You live in a city.

KAYLA: I live in a walkable city.

SARAH: I live in a city that's not walkable.

KAYLA: I don't know what, like we are very good friends with our neighbors and we met them like on move-in day. Cause their dad was talking to us and like, I don't know what would have happened.

SARAH: Oh, a dad.

KAYLA: No, it was literally a dad being like, aha, move-in day.

SARAH: Am I right?

KAYLA: Like, yeah.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: And I don't know what would have happened if, cause like, obviously I'm friends with my roommates, but like our, our neighbors now are

SARAH: I met your neighbors. When I was there, we had a very loving D&D side plot

(40:00)

KAYLA: which they still talk about. Your character, our characters, your character gets brought up like every time we play 

SARAH: Good. Just a garbage juice, garbage juice.

KAYLA: You made a lasting impression.

SARAH: G A R B I D G E, juice, juice, imported. Oh, anyway, also I think maybe this is just me. I don't think it's just me.

KAYLA: Okay.

SARAH: One of the things to me that is also so delightful about fan fiction, it, fuck

KAYLA: I'm with you

SARAH: stay with me, stay with me, is that you have these characters that you're familiar with, but they're always like, they have like, they're friends with each other and like they have these robust relationships and I feel like a lot of times it's people just projecting what they want or what they wish they had. And so when you're in that little world reading that little fanfiction, like you, like you get to exist in that world for a while.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And that's absolutely true as well of, of, of like novels and TV shows, but I think that's especially true in fanfiction because the point of fanfiction is to be, I mean, it's not always like hunky dory

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: like that's, but like it is, it's kind of an idealized version of fiction and idealized version of the universe. And a lot of the people who write fanfiction as well, are well versed in the queerties

KAYLA: of it all?

SARAH: Yeah. And so there's a lot of focus on those platonic relationships and so it's nice to be able to just like escape into that world. But then the problem is I spend the whole weekend reading fan fiction and not seeing my friends. 

KAYLA: My friends. That's crazy. I think you're right that like that is definitely a facet of just like average published, published fiction. But I do think that it is very heightened in fan fiction because people are like, oh, these are my favorite characters. I love the like small bit of friendship you might get to see throughout the book. And so now I'm just going to like expand on that because I just care about that.

SARAH: Yeah. Or like if it's, if you're writing a story that could contain like many different characters and you want to include all of them

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: like you'll find a way to make them fit. And like, it's like, oh my God, wow, like these robust

KAYLA: these friends

SARAH: relationships.

KAYLA: There's a book series I'm reading right now called, I don't know what people call the series itself, but the first one is called A Court of Thorns and Roses or Rose and the Thorns. I don't know. Anyway.

SARAH: You're very confident in that. No don’t

KAYLA: Thorns and Roses. Thorns and Roses. I looked. I cheated.

SARAH: Thorses.

KAYLA: Thorses. I just finished the second book and like in the second book, a very like tight knit group of like friends, like a found family is established

SARAH: I love a found family

KAYLA: and it's good. And I was looking, I was at the store trying to find the third book and like they aren't labeled very great. So I like accidentally read the back of not the next book.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And most of these books are like very thick because it's like high fantasy. But this one that's like maybe the fifth book in the series is like very skinny. And the description was literally like, this is just a peek at like this friend group. Like it's, they're not doing a battle. It's not like high fantasy, oh no, the king of whatever.

SARAH: Slice of life

KAYLA: It's like, it seems like it's just gonna be like a novella of like them being friends. I can't wait to read it!

SARAH: It's like fanfiction of their own stories.

KAYLA: They wrote their own fanfiction.

SARAH: Aw.

KAYLA: I'll report back once I get to that book, but I have a very thick brick of a third book to get through first, so.

SARAH: And a fourth book, right? You said it was the 5th book

KAYLA:  I don't know which number it is. 

SARAH: Kayla does not –

KAYLA: I'm unclear about which one will come after this one.

SARAH: Why don't you just buy them all at once?

KAYLA: I don't know. I don't know. I honestly don't.

SARAH: So you wouldn't have to like look every, like if you read the first one and you know that you.

KAYLA: I'm gonna keep reading it, so I don't have a good answer for you. I really don't.

SARAH: Alright. Alright. Is there anything else you would like to add on the topic of-

KAYLA: Everyone be friends.

SARAH: (singing) Why can't we be friends? Why can't we? And if any of my Twitter moots are listening.

KAYLA: Add her to the fucking group chat. 

(45:00)

KAYLA: Can you please put her in the group chat? My god. She's suffering.

SARAH: I feel very insecure about it.

KAYLA: Let this woman in your groups. Please.

SARAH: I have things to say.

KAYLA: I can write her a referral letter. She's very good in group chat. I would be happy to write a referral. 

SARAH: I would love to see what your referral is to put me in a group chat.

KAYLA: I would be happy to.

SARAH: What would you say?

KAYLA: I feel like I've been in a good number of group chats with you.

SARAH: You have, but what positive qualities as a group chat member do I have?

KAYLA: I think you bring a very nice sense of chaos and joy.

SARAH: Okay

KAYLA: You just are, you're just very, you're a very silly presence.

SARAH: Uh huh. And I will spam you sometimes.

KAYLA: And you're not gonna do the good chat drama. Sometimes she will do a little spam, but you're never the one to start the group chat drama or get involved in it at all in any way.

SARAH: No. Just here for the vibes

KAYLA: You're just there for silly vibes.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: Yeah. So that's my referral. 

SARAH: I took one of those quizzes recently that was like, which moot are you? And I got the chill moot.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: I was like, yeah, maybe that's why I'm not in any group chats.

KAYLA: You’re not dramatic enough. Yeah.

SARAH: I want to be beloved.

KAYLA: Well.

SARAH: I'm not gonna cause drama.

KAYLA: Someone, let her in. Let her in.

SARAH: I'm not gonna cause drama to get put in a group chat.

KAYLA: That's fair. That seems like a bad idea.

SARAH: And like, I could start a group chat myself, but here's the thing. Who would I put in there?

KAYLA: Me.

SARAH: Like if I just put all of the people that I wanted to be in a group chat with, it would just be like probably a group chat that they already have, plus me, that I made weird.

KAYLA: That's not weird.

SARAH: What if they don't use it? That's more embarrassing.

KAYLA: Yeah, but you can just use it so much that you force them to use it. Put me in there and then we will be talking so much that they'll have to join.

SARAH: But then what would we talk?

KAYLA: Like you can just spam me with stuff. Okay. Here it is. Here it is. Here it is.

SARAH: Yeah alright

KAYLA: You'll tell me like BTS stuff and I'll be like, huh? I don't get it. I don't get it.

SARAH: Mm, that’s true.

KAYLA: And they'll be like so frustrated by me not getting it that they'll have to pile on and be like, no, listen, this is the thing. And then I'll slowly back out the door while doing finger guns and then you guys are talking. Perfect.

SARAH: Interesting.

KAYLA: Perfect. Good point.

SARAH: Yeah. What's our poll for this week?

KAYLA: I want to know how many close friends do you have?

SARAH: Question.

KAYLA: I would like to know.

SARAH: How many close friends do I have?

KAYLA: I don't know.

SARAH: How do you define close friend?

KAYLA: However

SARAH: family member?

KAYLA: you want.

SARAH: Is a family member a friend?

KAYLA: It can be. They don't have to be, but I think they can be.

SARAH: I said, I said help.

KAYLA: Oh, okay.

SARAH: Yeah. How many, how many close friends do you have? Should it be multiple choice? Like a range?

KAYLA: I'm going to do a range.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: Like zero and then like. Like zero to whatever or something to something, something, something, something plus.

SARAH: I think zero should be its own.

KAYLA: Why?

SARAH: Cause there's a difference between having zero close friends and one.

KAYLA: I think there's. I don't want to call those people out.

SARAH: I don't think it's a call out. I think it's the science.

KAYLA: Well, let's, okay. Let's write. Cause we have four.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: So you want me to make one of them zero. And then what? Like one to three.

SARAH: Yeah. One to three.

KAYLA: One to three. Four to.

SARAH: Four to... Should we do what is one to three too big of a, should it be one to two?

KAYLA: We only have four slots

SARAH: Three to five. One to two. Three to five.

KAYLA: Five plus.

SARAH: Yeah. Six plus. Five plus.

KAYLA: Six plus. Okay. Wait. Zero. One to two. Hold on. I got to scribble all this out. Zero, one to two, three to five, six plus.

SARAH: So like if you're BTS, you would say six.

KAYLA: You would say six. I would put myself…

SARAH: I would put myself…

KAYLA: I'm going to say, I'm going to say three to five.

SARAH: I'm also going to say three to five, but like an argument probably could be made for one to two. If you wanted to make that argument.

KAYLA: It's just me. It's just me.

SARAH: No.

KAYLA: Wow. Wow. Fucked up.

SARAH: It's you and Miranda, obviously.

KAYLA: Just me.

SARAH: Why would you do that to Miranda?

KAYLA: For the, for the meme.

(50:00)

SARAH: Geez. Anyway. Kayla?

KAYLA: That's me.

SARAH: What is your beef and your news this week?

KAYLA: My beef is that this week has been bad.

SARAH: Boo hiss.

KAYLA: Boo hiss. Got some, got some bad news this week. And sometimes, you know, you get news and you're like, this shouldn't affect me this much. And then it ruins all of it.

SARAH: (laughing) I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just read a text from Miranda.

KAYLA: And what was it?

SARAH: (laughing) I didn't see the context. She sent it alongside a tweet. I haven't seen the tweet yet. It's just the text. But the text says, I know this is weird to say, but as someone who's worked with frozen bodies, this is the most unrealistic thing I've ever seen. Oh, wait, it went away. I got it. I got it.

KAYLA: No context needed. I don't need it.

SARAH: The most unrealistic thing I've ever seen. They do zero research.

KAYLA: Okay. Well, now I want the context. What was the context?

SARAH: The context is, it is a clip from, oh!

KAYLA: Is it a porn?

SARAH: Even I can tell this is wrong.

KAYLA: Is it a porn

SARAH: It's from, I don't know if it's, it's one of those, those Fox, like, like paramedic 9-1-1.

KAYLA: Yes, the programs.

SARAH: One of those.

KAYLA: Chicago PD.

SARAH: Yeah, it's, it's, whichever one has the guy from Parks and Rec in it.

KAYLA: That's 9-1-1.

SARAH: (laughing) 9-1-1. There was a frozen, the captain, okay, the captain of a firefighter team 

KAYLA: mhm

SARAH: tried to do chest compressions on a frozen solid dude.

KAYLA: Why? What’s the point?

SARAH: And so he does the chest compressions. And it literally just like caves in.

KAYLA: No, no, no.

SARAH: Yeah. That's not good.

KAYLA: It's not a Skellington, that's a human man. That's dumb. 

SARAH: That’s just

KAYLA: Anyway.

SARAH: (laughing) I'm so sorry. You were telling, you were saying how your week was horrible.

KAYLA: Yeah, my week was really bad. It's getting better though. It's fine. 

SARAH: Now, I'm just thinking about that chest caving in.

KAYLA: Stop. It's like, you know, guys- Like the ribs are like, just don't, they just- Did you ever know guys in high school, especially that had like the concave chest?

SARAH: I've never met a guy.

KAYLA: My juice is yoga. Moving on. Next.

SARAH: My juice is tomorrow, but it will already be out by the time this broadcast is out. Haegeum by Agust D is coming out. There was a teaser, like a little teaser to the music video. It was 30 seconds long, maybe 20 seconds of it were content. The rest was like, you know, it's on this day, whatever. My tiny son has already killed someone. I'm so excited.

KAYLA: not the murder.

SARAH: It is a follow-up to Daechwita. I'm so excited. He has committed so many crimes and I love him.

KAYLA: (laughing) Oh my god.

SARAH: It's going to be a bop. I'm losing my mind.

KAYLA: I'm very happy for you.

SARAH: Also the scar, so many questions about the scar. Anyway, my beef, my beef is that Hopi has enlisted in the military. He's gone. My little baby boy is gone. My other beef is that people on Twitter being like, oh, like they're going to do great in the military. Like they're like they're the type of person that the military loves. 

KAYLA: What?

SARAH: I know because I was a U.S. Marine.

KAYLA: What. That's nothing.

SARAH: Like we're not going to, like they're doing this because they have to.

KAYLA: They legally have to.

SARAH: They're legally required to do military service. Let's not romanticize.

KAYLA: Also what a weird thing to say.

SARAH: There was a – Jin posted recently about like giving advice or I think Hopi was talking about what Jin told him, which was like if you don't want to be bored, you should bring a lot of books. And it's like

KAYLA: yeah

SARAH: This is a great use of their time. But like it was just this, there's a particular tweet that was from this guy and people were like, okay, the U.S. military is the reason why in Korea they have mandatory military service. You can draw a direct line.

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And so if you, as a U.S. military vet, are being like, oh no, it's going to be fine. They're going to do great. Don't fucking speak on that shit.

KAYLA: Shut up. Just stop it.

(55:00)

SARAH: It is the direct fault of the government and the U.S. military that Korean mandatory military service exists.

KAYLA: People are so embarrassing.

SARAH: Foolish. And people are like, oh my God, yes, they're serving their country. It's like they have to.

KAYLA: No

SARAH: They don't have a choice.

KAYLA: That's nothing. Stop.

SARAH: And I also saw a tweet from someone being like, well, they don't have to. 

KAYLA: What?

SARAH: Like if they didn't want to, they wouldn't. And someone was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And they were like, well, like they would just like, you know, go to jail.

KAYLA: Huh? What the fuck?

SARAH: (laughing) Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. That's a real great choice. Either you do 18 months of military service or what? Or you just go to prison. Great idea. Great for your career.

KAYLA: Americans are so dumb. I recently saw, what's the guy, Matt, I don't know. He made an Instagram about like, he asked people in different countries, like, what do you think about the US?

SARAH: Mm

KAYLA:  And it was really upsetting to read because everyone was like, you guys are fucking stupid. And I was like, yeah. But it just makes me think of that as like, what? We are so stupid.

SARAH: And then also as an American, like a lot of that is correct, but also I get so defensive. And like me getting defensive is not helpful.

KAYLA: Well, it reminds me of like how like progressive people who are like doing important work in like red states, like people are like, oh, Florida, what scum buckets. 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And then there's like amazing people in Florida who are like trying to make it better. And they're like, please, I'm doing my best.

SARAH: Please. Yeah.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: And then it's like, well, you have shitty people too. And they're like, but, but we don't have school shootings. Shut the fuck up.

KAYLA: That's also like, don't, don't use that.

SARAH: That's a horrible retort. That's not a, I did, I did see a good like tweet, I think it was a TikTok the other day, of like someone being like, you know, you, you say something like, oh, haha, so interesting that British drive on the other side of the road. How curious. And then their response will be like, well, you have children dying in schools from gun violence.

KAYLA: So literally I saw

SARAH: Literally what?

KAYLA: I saw a TikTok, I think, or as a tweet or something from a girl who was like studying abroad. And she was like, the first night I met people, they started making jokes about school shootings.

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And she was like, what the fuck, like it's not something to joke about

SARAH: Not funny

KAYLA: not funny. Like we can be like, haha, civil war – or not civil war, haha, revolutionary war.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: So long ago. That's one thing.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: Come on now.

SARAH: Yeah. And it's just, um…

KAYLA: Bad. Bad.

SARAH: Bad. I was gonna say something brief. It was brief and I wanted to add it.

KAYLA: Germany.

SARAH: Thank you. Oh, it's just the, the, the, the high and mightiness of it.

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: Is like, oh, like I'm better than you because I happen to be born in a country that is different from yours. And it's like, girl

KAYLA: To be fair, a lot of Americans act that way as well.

SARAH: Oh yeah. Absolutely. I, I, it absolutely goes both ways.

KAYLA: annoying. 

SARAH: Anyway, you can tell us about your beef and your juice on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon if you want to support this singing cast, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. We have a new $2 patron, Alexander. Especially a two euro 50 patron.

KAYLA: Oh, love a euro. Thank you.

SARAH: Thank you. Thank you. Our $5 patrons who are putting – who exist. Well, then you all exist, but some of you exist, especially this week. And you are Byron Rusnak, Cade Archer, Chris Lauretano, Claire Olsen, and Colleen Walsh.

KAYLA: Hello!

SARAH: Oh, okay.

KAYLA: Thanks.

SARAH: Our $10 patrons who are promoting this week are David Harris, who likes to promote Candle, but no crate, the Cradle book series, right? Not candles. Cradle. Derick and Carissa, who would like to celebrate the seniors who got into the college for choice and support those who are still waiting or didn't, you're going to, you're still going

to do great.

KAYLA: Woohoo. You're going to do great. Who cares? Who cares?

SARAH: Elle Bitter, who would like to promote normalizing and the use of tone indicators /srs and also no S!

KAYLA: That reminds me when Elle Bitter, Elle Bitter, no S, was at our book event. They were like, it's me in real life /srs. And I didn't fully grasp why that was a funny joke

(01:00:00)

KAYLA: until now when I remember what they promote. That was very funny. And I'm sorry I didn't laugh enough because that's really good that you said that.

SARAH: Very nice. My aunt Jeannie, who would like to promote Christopher's Haven and Maggie Capalbo, who would like to promote their puppy, Ezra Bean. Our other five – ten? Ten dollar patrons are Arcnes, Alyson, Benjamin Ybarra, Martin Chiesl, Mattie, Potater, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, Ruby, SongofStorm, The Steve, Zirlteo. Our fifteen dollar patrons are Andrew Hillum, who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum podcast, Changeling, and Alex the Ace Cat, who would like to promote StarshipChangeling.net, Click4Caroline, who would like to promote Ace of Hearts, Dia Chappelle, who would like to promote Twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector murillo, who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, John Young, who would like to promote… Keziah Root, who would like to promote the people who come into your life just for a small time, but right when you need them, Maff, who would like to promote catching up on the podcast, Nathaniel White, who would like to promote Nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina, who would like to promote Katemaggartart.com, and Sara Jones, who is @eternalloli everywhere. Our twenty dollar patrons are Sabrina Hauck, Christmas, and Dragonfly, who would like to promote… Charging Your Headphones

KAYLA: witerawy gwiddying on the woof

SARAH: and witerawy Charging… Your Headphones.

KAYLA: Woodowy.

SARAH: Thanks for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us and your ears.

KAYLA: Until then, take good care of your cows. Goodbye.

(pause)

KAYLA: Witerawy, witerawy gwiddying. Witerawy gwiddying on the woof.

SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello, welcome to Sounds Fake but Okay, a podcast where an Aero Ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me.

KAYLA: And witerawy, a demisexual gwirl.

SARAH: Finish.

KAYLA: I'll start over. Wait, no, you have to start over, now I'm out of it.

SARAH: I don't know how.

KAYLA: No, you're just say, just start all the way over.

SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello, I feel like we have to leave this in now.

KAYLA: Somewhere certainly.

SARAH: Okay.

(01:02:01)

Sounds Fake But Okay