Ep 111: Sex Shouldn't Be a Social Taboo

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SARAH: Hey what's up hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I’m Sarah, that's me

KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla

SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don't understand. 

KAYLA: On today's episode, sex being a social taboo. 

BOTH: Sounds Fake, But Okay. 

[Intro Music]

SARAH: Welcome back to the pod! 

KAYLA: M’andalorian? 

SARAH: True. 

KAYLA: I haven't watched it. 

SARAH: But Baby Yoda exists. Kayla and I were just discussing, we're going to put, for true listeners, there's going to be something for you at the end. I’m just going to throw it out there for you 

KAYLA: Yeah, and it's actually very good content. 

SARAH: And it's something that has been requested, kind of. 

KAYLA: I mean, in a way, I guess. 

SARAH: In a way. Don't get too excited. Okay. 

KAYLA: Yeah, don't. 

SARAH: So, Kayla, what are we talking about this week? Oh wait, hold on. We're back? I would like to apologize again. 

KAYLA: Oh yes. 

SARAH: I hope those of you who are patrons enjoyed the Kayla Only episode. 

KAYLA: I’m sure it was riveting to just listen to me. 

SARAH: Yeah, I had to listen through the whole thing to make sure there was nothing that we needed to cut out. 

KAYLA: How was that experience? Because I sure didn't do that. 

SARAH: And there was, it was just the things that Kayla was saying, like I under, once I heard them I was like, oh I remember the context. But out of context, I was like, anything could happen here. 

KAYLA: I mean, certainly the part where we were like arguing about whether to leave a part in, I’m sure it was very wild to hear one-sided. 

SARAH: Yeah, yeah. 

KAYLA: Anyway. 

SARAH: Alright. What are we, what, this week? Hi. 

KAYLA: This week, hello. This week I… we are talking about how sex is a taboo to talk about and how, no.  

SARAH: True. So, originally when I first started thinking about this, I wanted to go into a little bit more about like why sex is a social taboo. But then I decided I don't care why sex is a social taboo. First of all, it has to do a lot with religion and stuff. That all differs from culture to culture. I don't want to make this too America-centric. But also, I think it just matters more that we talk about why it shouldn't be. Fuck that shit. 

KAYLA: It's fair.  

SARAH: So, I wrote a bunch of stuff. I wrote a bunch of notes down on some paper. 

KAYLA: Wow, some paper.  

SARAH: Some paper, and then they were out of order, so I had to retype all of them. 

KAYLA: Oh my god. 

SARAH: So, yes. I’m just going to start saying things. 

KAYLA: And I wrote nothing, because that's how this show works.  

SARAH: And Kayla has no idea what I’m going to say, so cool. 

KAYLA: It's really, we're both the listener here. You and I, the listener. 

SARAH: So, okay. Question. Why is sex such a social taboo? Answer, I don't care. 

KAYLA: Oh.  

SARAH: But like, I was thinking about my own relationship with the social taboo of sex. And okay, I’m uncomfortable talking about it in part because I’m super ace, but also in part because of society and the way I've been taught to act regarding sex. Because when you're growing up, everyone is… it's like you don't, you don't talk about sex. Sex is an adult thing and no one talks about it. And it's, you can't go into a rated R movie because they use the word fuck in a sexual context. And that's not okay for children, I guess. I don't know. But the older I get and the more exposed I am to just people like talking about sex and like sex existing is a thing that is in the cultural zeitgeist. 

KAYLA: Zeitgeist. 

SARAH: Zeitgeist. Because I think, I mean, as time passes, people are getting more and more comfortable with it. So, it's not just me growing up, but also the culture changing. But like the more comfortable I've gotten with it. And obviously everyone's comfort level is going to be a bit different. And I’m willing to bet that my comfort level with like talking about sex is much lower compared to like the average allosexual person. 

KAYLA: Probably. 

SARAH: But me becoming more comfortable with sex as a concept and sex that is something that is talked about has only made my life better. Maybe a little uncomfortable at times. But, because like my, okay, my understanding of like how sex works and why it matters to people has helped me to understand romantic and sexual relationships better. Because as an aro-ace person, I’m just like, what the fuck? Like things that make people are like, oh yeah, I want to fuck that person. And I’m like, what does this mean? But like people talking about it more openly is maybe like, oh, I sort of understand this. Also, people being open online about like sexual violence can teach people a lot about boundaries and how consent works and like whether or not you're a person who plans to have sex, that's important to know. Because here's a fact for you, Kayla. 

KAYLA: Oh, OK, thank you. 

SARAH: Sex is common.  

KAYLA: Yes. 

SARAH: It is natural, whether it's with the goal of procreating or not. And it's normal. 

KAYLA: It's also not for everyone, but for at least two people necessary. 

SARAH: Yes. 

KAYLA: If we want to continue. 

SARAH: Yeah, exactly. 

KAYLA: Only two people have to do it, I guess. 

SARAH: Just two 

KAYLA: But…

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: It does impact all of us. 

SARAH: Yeah, I mean, yeah, it impacts all of us. And I do want to say like it's... It is important to note that not everyone does it, and I think it's important to remove the like everyone does it argument out of the way we talk about sex. 

KAYLA: Not everyone does it and not everyone needs to do it. In fact, it'd probably be better if less people did it because there's too many of us. 

SARAH: We're overpopulated. 

KAYLA: There's too many.  

SARAH: And let's not erase ace folks or other folks who may be celibate it for other reasons. Incels, I’m not talking about you. Fuck off. I’m just talking about people for whom like sex maybe isn't like physically possible or like other things. So, fuck off incels. Just going to say that again. 

KAYLA: Oh, okay.  

SARAH: But understanding the role sex plays in our society and knowing what's okay and what isn't is important. Like for me as a woman, I may be ace and not interested in like seeking out sex or having sex or whatever. But I need to understand consent because here's a horrible fact. 

KAYLA: Oh no. 

SARAH: One in four women are sexually assaulted in their lives. 

KAYLA: That's horrifying to me.  

SARAH: It's horrifying. But like I need to understand like what sex is and what consent is and that sort of thing. And kids need to understand that because the world is full of creepy people and they need to be able to protect themselves or at the very least know when something is wrong. 

KAYLA: I feel like the amount of stories I've heard where people don't realize that they were assaulted until they're much older because when they were children they didn't know what sex was and they didn't realize that was assault….

SARAH: Exactly 

KAYLA: Is just like and not that the kid is necessarily going to have like the physical or emotional or anything power to stop that from happening, whether they know what it is or not, like they're at least going to know what's, you know? 

SARAH: Something can maybe be done about it after the fact, you know? 

KAYLA: Yeah, yeah  

SARAH: Whereas if you don't realize for 20 years that you were sexually assaulted…

KAYLA: That's a lot. 

SARAH: That's a lot. 

KAYLA: A couple of thoughts. One is that just like, and this might not be like super relevant to people who are ace and or just aren't having sex, but like I just feel like having more open communication about sex, like if you're going to have sex, makes it better. Because I feel like people who don't, you don't talk about it and you don't really like, it's like a very hush hush thing, you're like more likely than not having bad sex. 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Because you've never been like, hey friend, like I had this sex last night and it was great, here's what happened. And then you're like, interesting, I will also do that. And it's great. Or you like read an article, you know?  

SARAH: Yeah, well I… like I've learned a lot from fanfiction. 

KAYLA: Oh yes 

SARAH: And like Kayla and I have both talked about this on the pod before that we've both encountered smut in our own forays in fanfiction. And a lot of that is written by women. So, like…

KAYLA: So, it's always good. 

SARAH: What? 

KAYLA: It's always good because it's written by women.  

SARAH: Yeah. And so like, even if there are aspects of it that like maybe aren't totally accurate at times, like it shows sex and sexual encounters from a female perspective, which is often a healthier take on it than what you might find in like, I don't know, porn. I was reading this article on Medium today about how porn is bad, not just because of like the moral reason or whatever, like, even just like beyond the exploitation of the actors, but because it teaches men to have sex with women in a way that is only good for men, and may actually be like bad or painful for women. And this article was talking about how like, even in books about female sexuality that are supposedly open about this thing, like women are told how to act during sex in a way that men would like…

[00:10:00]

KAYLA: Mm-hmm

SARAH: Rather than acting in a way that makes the experience actually enjoyable for themselves, and that they talked about faking orgasms and all that fun stuff, and it was really interesting. But like, all that is an issue. It may not be like the number one issue in the world of feminism, but it's not not an issue. 

KAYLA: Yeah  

SARAH: And I think the problem there regarding how women are treated in the context of sex is something that is related to sexual violence, and it's something that should be talked about. But the way I found this article was someone I went to college with shared it on Facebook. And my first thought was like, wow, bold of you to share this on this particular social media platform, where people are often friends with like family and that sort of thing. But then I was like, why not? Like, I understand like the discomfort maybe about discussing like sex or porn or whatever with family, but like, it's still something that should be talked about. And I’m… Kayla, you know this, I’m a serial liker, I click like on like everything that I find remotely good on the internet. 

KAYLA: Yes  

SARAH: But even though I read the whole article, and like, I agree with what they said, I was reticent to like it, because I knew that me liking it meant that it might show up on some of my friends’ feeds. Because there's just this whole taboo about discussing sex or discussing porn or whatever. Ultimately, I lost the post in the void because Facebook is trash. So, the decision was made for me. But you know, it happens. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I mean, like, and the whole thing with like the uncomfort of talking about it with your family, like, obviously, it's never going to be like, comfy talking about sex with your family. 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: But like, the whole idea of like, oh, you need to have like the talk with your kid and it's going to be like really awkward and terrible. Like, it doesn't have to be. Like, if that's something you're open with your kid about from like an early age, like, if your toddler is like, Mom, where do babies come from? Like, I don't know if it's the worst idea to like actually kind of tell them at least like a watered-down version of the truth rather than like, it was the stork. 

SARAH: I agree. Like, I… you don't have to give them like, anatomically correct, like, information when they're four years old. But like… like, people are always saying like, oh, like, kids are too young to know, like, especially when we're talking about like sex education in schools. A lot of times people are like, kids are too young to know, but here's the deal, they're going to find out anyway.  

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Whether it's from TV, or some kid on the playground, or somewhere else. And like, wouldn't you rather it be in a controlled environment with people that they trust, than have it be some like, I don't know, some guy in a white van, like, kids can't protect themselves, they don't know what to protect themselves against. And you can still have like, age-appropriate discussions that still talk about it openly, as it is. 

KAYLA: Yeah.  

SARAH: Also, just like regarding sex education in the United States. 

KAYLA: Bad. 

SARAH: Some places it's good, some places it's bad. I… my… I don't know about you Kayla, but I’m interested to know, growing up, the sex education I got in public school was not bad. And I went to school in an area that I would say definitely leans red, but it's not deep red. And it's not far from more like, blue liberal places. The sex education I got was not bad, although to be fair, I did block most of it out of my head because I was a baby ace and was like, ah! 

KAYLA: Yes. 

SARAH: But I am curious to see what your experience was with sex education. 

KAYLA: Yeah, so here's the unfortunate thing. So, I grew up somewhere that was quite red. So, I can't imagine that my sex education was good. Here's the thing. I don't remember any of it. What I do, I don't know why I don't remember. I truly don't remember any of it. I do remember when we entered college and we… like our freshman year, had this thing called relationship remix where you went and they talked about like safe sex and like consent and stuff and they did the whole like putting a condom on a banana thing. And I’m pretty sure that's like the first time I had ever seen that.  

SARAH: Yeah. 

KAYLA: That, yeah. Which was like I was 18 and I think that I probably should have seen some kind of demonstration of a condom before.  

SARAH: Yeah, I, yeah, I kind of have trouble remembering in part because I have a horrible memory and part because well baby ace just like… was like eh, I know like in fourth grade we had like guys and girls were separated and girls learned about like periods and stuff but we didn't really learn about sex. And then in seventh grade we learned more about sex and the thing I remember most clearly was this one kid like almost passed out. Like it got like, it stressed him out a lot. I’m not sure. Really the only thing I remember and then I remember in high school we had to take as a part of our gym requirement we had to do some health where they talked more about like condoms and like safe sex

KAYLA: See that's also the thing is my school allowed you to test out of health so I took… I like studied over the summer and then took a test and didn't have to take high school health 

SARAH: See I did health online over the summer but I still had to take a semester of gym and there was a section of gym that was…

KAYLA: Oh, I also didn't have to take gym so 

SARAH: Yeah, they've since changed that in my district where like if you do a varsity sport you can knock it out of gym so like…

KAYLA: Oh, see okay my school…

SARAH: Only if they had done that when I was in high school

KAYLA: My school used to do a thing where it was varsity athletes plus the bands didn't have to do it and then they took the varsity athletes away and it was just marching band that didn't have to do it 

SARAH: Oh my God, what? 

KAYLA: I don't know if that's still a thing but that's the reason I didn't do gym was because I was in marching band 

SARAH: Oh boy yeah, I’m not sure… enough to do gym because I didn't need to I did so much fucking gymnastics I know

KAYLA: True 

SARAH: Um 

KAYLA: Yeah, I really don't remember sex ed what I do know is they were like… they were like parts of how like the female body worked and how periods worked that I did not know until I was like way too old 

SARAH: Really like how old?

KAYLA: I don't want… what? Do you want me to say what it was? is it gross?

SARAH: Sure 

KAYLA: So, you know how you have like discharge?

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I thought something was like wrong with me 

SARAH: oh my God 

KAYLA: I thought I had like a disease

SARAH: No 

KAYLA: Because I never was told that that was normal 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: And then I was… I had to be late… and I remember when I was studying for my health thing and we were reading the set me and my friend were studying together we were reading the section of the book about STDs and I remember looking to that section of the book looking for something that was like described like discharge like I was having and I was like do I have one of these because I'd never been taught 

SARAH: Oh no 

KAYLA: So, I was like late into high school when I was like saw on the internet like it's normal to have discharge, I was like “wait, really?”

SARAH: Yeah, I think like being taught about like menstrual health and just like periods in general is also something that's like major taboo that should really not be

KAYLA: Yeah, we have friends who didn't know what a period was until they got their first period 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: Which is fine 

SARAH: Yeah. I remember like I had some sort of talk with my mom at some point, I don't remember any of the contents of it, I just remember it happening 

KAYLA: I don't even remember that 

SARAH: Um I think she explained periods but I don't even know, like I really don't know, um

KAYLA: Yikes 

SARAH: But… like when I got my period, I knew what it was, I was afraid to tell anyone but I did know 

KAYLA: Of course, you were 

SARAH: Oh no it was… it was rough, uh but yeah, I mean I think understanding just in general like what the fuck your body does and what the fuck bodies do

KAYLA: It could relieve a lot of stress, I was very stressed

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I thought I had a disease 

SARAH: It’s so sad 

KAYLA: Isn't that like the most pitiful you've ever heard?

SARAH: It really is 

KAYLA: Like who allowed that 

SARAH: Oh, it really is, also though just like relating kind of both of those things like okay yeah abstinence is the only 100% sure way to stay safe but it's not…

KAYLA: No have you seen Jane the Virgin? 

SARAH: Okay that's a fake scenario

KAYLA: Okay well this one is even sadder

SARAH: What?

KAYLA: Is that sometimes… well I get… okay sometimes there has been cases where you go to get artificially inseminated and the doctor puts the wrong juices but then I guess you've probably had sex before if you're getting artificially inseminated 

SARAH: Oh 

KAYLA: This was really…

SARAH: I don't think I’m following this 

KAYLA: The doctor will put in its own baby juices instead of that of the person they're trying to get pregnant with 

SARAH: Oh, why?

KAYLA: Which is… uh because people are bad 

SARAH: Jesus 

KAYLA: Not… this isn't really related now that I think about it, it just came to me 

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: Sorry for the… sorry for the bummer 

[00:20:00] 

SARAH: Um anyway I’m going to go ahead and say abstinence is only 100% sure safe

KAYLA: I disagree 

SARAH: Jane the Virgin seems is a freak scenario, it could happen but you know for those of you who don't know Jane the Virgin she got… I've only seen the pilot but she like goes in to get like a pap smear or something but the doctor is like super tired and mixes her up with someone else and accidentally artificially inseminates her… 

KAYLA: Well, you can also… I think so, there's also I don't know if this is true but I've heard that like if you sit on a toilet seat… 

SARAH: I've also heard that 

KAYLA: And there's stuff because sperm can live outside the body for like a week, which is horrifying and terrifying and the main reason I’m afraid of getting pregnant because who knows where those little guys are, they could be anywhere just alive 

SARAH: Jesus, anyway…

KAYLA: Just roaming around my life 

SARAH: Anyway, abstinence is not realistic for an entire population is what I’m just trying to get at um…

KAYLA: That’s fair 

SARAH: And also, just like talking more openly about sex and the human body would lower the stigma around HIV/AIDS like…

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: The more openly it's talked about the more humanized those people living with HIV and AIDS are, the more likely it is that we can expand effective treatment like why would we not I mean there's a lot of reasons why the issues with HIV and AIDS have… God it’s so deep but… 

KAYLA: But even just like so… even just like any STDs of like the fact that like every time you get a new partner you should be getting tested or like the fact that like when you have a new partner you're supposed to ask them like are you clean like no one talks about that or like talks about how to have that conversation or like… 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: The regularity with which you should like be going to get tested no matter what like… 

SARAH: Right 

KAYLA: No one talks about that stuff when you're taught abstinence only you're not taught to use birth control you're not taught to use condoms like that's why there's teen pregnancy because like if kids don't receive that information they're going to… some of them are going to have sex anyway like it's just… they're just going to 

SARAH: Yeah, my um… so my cousin I have a cousin who got pregnant at 16 and she had her daughter at 17 um and now her daughter is 15 years old and everything is wonderful and great but like luckily, she had a very supportive family to like help her out, but my sister when this happened was… I don't know like eight… I don't know exactly what their age difference is but my sister um thought that you could just get pregnant like it would just happen to you

KAYLA: Oh, have I told you how I thought that people got pregnant?

SARAH: No hold on 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: Um my sister was just like afraid that...

KAYLA: That is so funny 

SARAH: at the age of 16 you just might be given a baby 

KAYLA: Just hand… being handed one?

SARAH: Yeah, like you were made pregnant and then you birthed a baby…

KAYLA: That’s so funny  

SARAH: And so it wasn't for a while before my sister understood that like no she had a baby because she engaged in sexual activities

KAYLA: That is very funny 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: When I was like in grade school I thought that you got pregnant by making out while naked

SARAH: You did tell me that 

KAYLA: Like you are just kissing and naked  

SARAH: I mean it is… it's close, it's close, it's pretty close 

KAYLA: It's a gateway drug 

SARAH: You can get pregnant 

KAYLA: I guess 

SARAH: I mean you can get pregnant without being naked 

KAYLA: That's true 

SARAH: And you don't have to kiss them to get pregnant 

KAYLA: It's also true but I feel like they usually go together 

SARAH: They do, they tend to 

KAYLA: So anyway that's… I… you can actually… I mean even though I don't remember my sex education I think you all can tell what kind I had just by… just by all of this 

SARAH: Oh, dear yeah. I mean I would say my what my sister thought is reflective on our sex education but honestly, I’m not sure it is because my sister also thought that she had heart disease as a child 

KAYLA: You both thought a lot of things to be fair 

SARAH: Because of this pamphlet we got, when we got jump rope for heart, she was convinced she had heart disease…

KAYLA: Because she jump roped?

SARAH: No, because she was feeling anxiety 

KAYLA: You both thought a lot of things as children 

SARAH: Are you thinking about me thinking legs went to heaven because that makes sense?

KAYLA: We don't… I feel like we've talked about this and I don't think we need to anymore, can we just do… 

SARAH: You need to max me up on this 

KAYLA: Can we do a full episode of just like your weird childhood shit? 

SARAH: Like how I wore tights under my pants…

KAYLA: Yeah, that is the one I was thinking of, yes and like your lip and…

SARAH: That's not weird, that's just a very specific… 

KAYLA: Well, it's endearing if anything 

SARAH: Okay. 

KAYLA: I feel like we…

SARAH: I don't know… I don't know how to feel about the fact that you have just used the word endearing to describe something I do 

KAYLA: Well, I don't think it's endearing anymore I think your baby pictures of like chubby Sarah doing it is endearing and your wedding picture 

SARAH: Oh I… For a second I thought you meant like my future wedding picture…

KAYLA: No 

SARAH: And I was like, “you’ve seen my future wedding?” 

KAYLA: Your first your first communion picture that looks like you're a tiny bride 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Because you're marrying Jesus 

SARAH: Yeah, and that went well, didn't it?

KAYLA: Yeah, I’d say so a healthy marriage 

SARAH: Um but yeah…

KAYLA: Uh where were we?

SARAH: I don’t know 

KAYLA: We’re back baby

SARAH: We're back baby, anyway I think sex being such taboo is a detriment to us all and this is coming from an ace who doesn't have sex and is uncomfortable talking about shit like this I still think we should 

KAYLA: It makes sex bad and dangerous 

SARAH: Yeah, and like I’m not saying that we should force people to be like publicly open about your own sexual habits because that's no bueno, if you want to go for it but like not everyone has to do that but there are other ways to approach it and to just make it less of a taboo 

KAYLA: Also, I think like it's a lot more of a taboo for women to talk about sex than men 

SARAH: Absolutely 

KAYLA: Which I think also feeds into the fact that like usually men are probably having better sex than women because women don't talk about the fact that they aren't having good sex 

SARAH: Yeah, I would really suggest that Medium article, I can send it to… 

KAYLA: You should put it on the Twitter 

SARAH: Yeah, I can put it somewhere um but it was just really interesting talking about like how everything is about men's pleasure and nothing is about women's 

KAYLA: I feel like even… I feel like it's becoming popular now for like Vogue or like Elle or whatever to like write articles about like women's sex does matter blah blah blah but like…

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I don't even know that those are doing enough you know 

SARAH: Yeah, I mean it's such… it's such an ingrained thing like the article was saying how like there are a lot of people who like… because like… you like… people like faking orgasms like men are taught to believe that that's what an orgasm is supposed to look like from the porn that they watch and then when women that they're with are faking orgasms they don't know it because why would they and then like five years into a relationship when that person is just like I don't want to have sex with you anymore they're like oh it's her fault but it's like no you were…

KAYLA: You've been bad the whole time 

SARAH: She has been having bad sex this whole time 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Like… I don't know man. And then it's like a lot of people might look at me and be like okay you're an aro-ace person who doesn't fuck so why do you care so much about this uh I don't know because I care about people being safe and also like ace folks who don’t have sex aren't any better than anyone else like they just experience the world differently and they make different choices and so like I want to help protect those people from bad shit as long as everything is safe and consensual why do you fucking care what other people do?

KAYLA: True and it's like you also know that it's like important to a good amount of people 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: So, like why wouldn't you care about something that's important to many people

SARAH: Yeah. And it's like people are like shamed for like… I don't know like sex or masturbation or whatever but it's like if you dig deep on that there is no valid reason for shaming those people, like why is it shameful? Because God says it is? Why does God say it is? I don't know? Like there's really no…

KAYLA: Sarah, can I ask you a deeply um offensive question?

SARAH: Sure 

KAYLA: Do you think Jesus masturbated?

SARAH: Uh I’m going to say yes

KAYLA: Am I going to hell?

SARAH: I’m going to say yes, we're all going to hell Kayla don't worry 

KAYLA: He… I mean he definitely fucked Mary Magdalene so it's like…

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Not super far off 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Do you think that the apostles had an orgy?

SARAH: I don't know that I would go that far 

KAYLA: Well, that's no fun, is it? I’m going to hell 

SARAH: We're all going to hell, and you know what? If people have made their decisions about having premarital sex and you think they're going to go to hell that's not your problem 

KAYLA: It's not 

SARAH: It's really not your problem 

KAYLA: Isn't it better for people to be like, “I hate when people have premarital sex you're going to hell” it's like cool, I didn't want to hang out with you anyway 

SARAH: I know and also like depending on the sect I believe Mormons I think it is who believes that there is a limited number of people who go to heaven, maybe it's not because they're always trying to recruit people, I don't know 

KAYLA: I don't know 

SARAH: But like if they think there's a limited number of people that are going to make it to heaven like cool you're out of the running like I… less competition for me 

KAYLA: It's all bad 

SARAH: It's stupid, that's all the things I had written down, but I feel like there are so many things we could talk about here 

[00:30:00]

KAYLA: I also just thought of like leaked nudes and like revenge porn and stuff like if… I mean that's obviously awful no matter what, because that's doing something against someone's consent but I feel like people wouldn't be so like oh my god this woman is naked blah blah blah like it wouldn't be such a controversy if sex wasn't so taboo you know?

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Or like people wouldn't be able to leverage it because they would be like oh no one is going to care so why would I leak this 

SARAH: Right, exactly like um representative Katie Hill uh from California a couple of weeks ago had to resign from the House because um of some… well two reasons one apparently she was in an inappropriate relationship with someone who worked in her campaign but also because an ex of hers revenge porned her and it's like she when she stepped down she was basically like I’m not stepping down because I think it's wrong that like I took these pictures like that's not… that's not why I’m doing this and she was basically saying that like you know this is the fact that this happened to me is shitty and it shouldn't happen to anyone and I think she more so stepped down because of the relationship she had that was apparently inappropriate with her person and her whatever

KAYLA: I feel like there was a… I forget who it was or if this is even true but like a celebrity who someone like had their nudes and was like you need to pay me x amount of money or I’m leaking them and then they leaked them themselves they like put their naked pictures like on Twitter and was like you can't blackmail me I’ll do it my fucking self 

SARAH: Honestly…

KAYLA: Like that's… yeah that's like dope shit  

SARAH: Yeah also worth noting Katie Hill is bisexual 

KAYLA: Tea  

SARAH: Um so that may have got something to do with it 

KAYLA: Yeah, that probably didn't work in for her favor 

SARAH: Yeah, so fun 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: We love it, uh TLDR talk more about sex but also don't like… don't like just start saying explicit things to people 

KAYLA: No that's bad 

SARAH: Like that's not… like just be more open about talking about sex in general, if people are uncomfortable respect that but you know the more, we talk about it the more we normalize it the less people will be uncomfortable in general 

KAYLA: True  

SARAH: I think that's a good thing 

KAYLA: I agree  

SARAH: Nothing matters okay um… what is our… do you have anything else to add?

KAYLA: Um no 

SARAH: Okay. What's our poll for this week?

KAYLA: Uh yes 

SARAH: That's not a poll 

KAYLA: Could be  

SARAH: Um I’m going to ask you to think again should we… should sex be less of a social taboo? Yes or yes? 

KAYLA: That’s a lame question… oh okay. Um have we done a poll before about like what was your sex education like? I feel like we've done that before 

SARAH: I think so 

KAYLA: Okay well, we can do yours then 

SARAH: Yes or yes?

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Okay, uh what is your beef and your juice?

KAYLA: Hold on I’m typing 

SARAH: Oh okay 

KAYLA: I got to put the poll in 

SARAH: Put the poll in 

KAYLA: Breaking the poll, well I’m changing it slightly it's going to be a surprise for everyone except me

SARAH: Okay, fun 

KAYLA: You go on, I’m still typing 

SARAH: Okay well I have some thematic juice because my juice… one of my juices is a song and I sent this song to Kayla and I was like this is very out of character for me but I really like this song…

KAYLA: This was like forever ago 

SARAH: Yeah, I know. The song is called Xexual by Naked, it's wild but I didn't realize what the album art was when I first sent it to Kayla because Spotify you know sometimes Spotify gives you like the things that are moving instead of like the actual album art 

KAYLA: I really like music videos and stuff 

SARAH: Yeah, um I got that and so I never actually saw like the actual album art and then I sent it to Kayla and I was slapped in the face by the fact that oh the album art is just the album… 

KAYLA: Very wild

SARAH: It's just a girl with her hand down her pants and I was like oh okay 

KAYLA: It was very wild 

SARAH: It's a bop though, it's a really good song, so, it's also all about open communication regarding sex 

KAYLA: Tea  

SARAH: So there's that uh other juice is um so I know I can't shut up about Schitt's Creek but um there's a playlist on Spotify of a bunch of the songs from the soundtrack and honestly it's just a really good playlist like big ups to Dan Levy for all of his choices, it's like… it's also funny though because it's like a lot of songs are like very like gentle like reverent and loving and there's a small scene eternal interlude and then like you know more like gentle songs and then you get slapped across the face with the song called “a little bit Alexis” which is a work of art 

KAYLA: It sounds like an intense song 

SARAH: Yeah, there's only like 30 seconds worth of it in the show but they have a full song on Spotify um… I’ll give you some sample lyrics off the top of my head, “I’m expensive sushi, I’m a cute huge yacht, I’m a little bit single even when I’m not” also “everybody has got a horse nay” 

KAYLA: That's… yeah 

SARAH: Those are some of my favorite lyrics from the song, so just imagine you're listening to like this nice playlist and then all of a sudden that… it's funny, my beef… I didn't write down any um… My beef is that I have recently come to terms with the fact that like I’m about to be an adult like soon like…

KAYLA: True  

SARAH: Like I’m packing to move across the country…

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: Um and that uh stresses me out

KAYLA: It is very wild 

SARAH: Yes. What is your beef and juice?

KAYLA: Um my juice is this… okay so I’m a big fan of phone games, always on the prowl for a good phone app game if you have any suggestions let me know I found one called Solosquare, it's like a solitaire-esque thing where you have to like stack cards, but it's different um it's very good, I’m very addicted 

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: I don't think that we've podded since I’ve had this big life moment but there is a TikTok where…

SARAH: We haven't no you're right, that's a spoiler though 

KAYLA: Fuck you're right cut that out… there's this… are you going to cut it out? 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I feel like you're not going to, there's this…

SARAH: I will

KAYLA: Are you winking… I can feel you…

SARAH: I’m not winking 

KAYLA: I can feel you winking 

SARAH: I’ll leave this part where you asked me to cut it out but I've said I’m going to and you keep not believing me Kayla said something that was a spoiler and she won't believe me that I’ll cut it out 

KAYLA: Okay fine, well I mean if you follow me on Twitter you've already seen a spoiler because I was like freaking out about it

SARAH: Sure 

KAYLA: Um but there's this TikTok and it's just like you know sometimes something like really tickles you just like really really gets you um that's what happened and I laughed about it for so long and I cried about it and I posted everywhere and I made everyone at work watch it and I made everyone in my DND podcast watch it and then I talked about it during our DND podcast and started crying again

SARAH: Oh my God

KAYLA: And it's just very funny and good and… my cat just yeah, ma'am and um yes also 

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: Ma'am shut up, also I my cat went on a plane for the first time and she did very well

SARAH: She was so good 

KAYLA: And she met my dog and they have an uneasy alliance to just look at each other and then walk away 

SARAH: Oh my god um 

KAYLA: Here's my cat right now, standing right next to my mic, it looks like she's recording it's adorable. So those are some juices, my beef is that um yes and it's cold and it's getting dark before I… the cat just fell off the desk…

SARAH: Did you just yes and nothing?

KAYLA: Yes, and… it's how good I am at improv is like an yes and anything and nothing. It gets dark at like I feel like this was already my beef but it gets dark at like four and that's before I even leave work so I literally…

SARAH: Yeah, because you're on the…

KAYLA: I’m on that nine to five grind 

SARAH: Well also me and Kayla grew up in Michigan which is on the western half of the Eastern time zone so like…

KAYLA: Oh, you still have sun?  

SARAH: It's eight o'clock at night no I don't 

KAYLA: Well, I know but what time does your sun set? 

SARAH: Well, it's like a half an hour different maybe 

KAYLA: Oh 

SARAH: Um so like not only is it like winter now for both of us but for you you're used to it like being a little bit different just because we're close to the edge… the western edge of the time zone 

KAYLA: I didn't even know that 

SARAH: Yeah 

[00:40:00]

KAYLA: Well, that… oh wow I didn't even know that anyway it's really ass because I don't get any sun unless I take a stroll to the gas station to get caffeine because I’m like in the office all day and then when I leave it's pitch blackout 

SARAH: That sucks 

KAYLA: Which is depressing 

SARAH: It's unfortunate 

KAYLA: It is 

SARAH: All right, um tell us about your juice, your beef

KAYLA: Your phone games 

SARAH: Your phone games, your favorite part of the Patreon exclusive for last week 

KAYLA: Someone… oh a video on my Instagram, I went to look at our Instagram and now it's someone giving birth 

SARAH: Oh Jesus 

KAYLA: Right in front of me, no I’m leaving 

SARAH: Yeah, that would stress me out 

KAYLA: See that's another thing though, I don't think I watched that in sex ed either and I probably should have 

SARAH: No, it's the sort of thing where it's like I wish I were more comfortable with but I’m just not 

KAYLA: Well, but there's a head coming out of a vagina  

SARAH: Wait don't remind me okay we also have a patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Our $2 patrons are Keith Mcblaine, Roxanne, Aliceisinspace, Anonymous, Mariah Walter, Jonathan Christopher T Verdieri, Patrick Jackson, Andrew Yang, Ninny, Courtney Jones, Eric B, Amanda Juntenon, Maddie and Purple Haze, Purple Haze 

KAYLA: Purple Haze 

SARAH: It's like purple rain but Haze 

KAYLA: We had a long discussion before we started recording about what kind of purple haze it, was it someone with the last name haze who was also purple was it a haze with a z that was purple no because it's not so z is it haze like the plural of what horses eat but…

SARAH: That is not how you pluralize purple 

KAYLA: Well, but it could, anyway 

SARAH: It’s not, welcome our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Astritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Fenny, Perry Fierro, Dee, Megan Rowell, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, Tim, Ryan Lutcieti, Book Marvel, Changeling MX, Derrick and Karissa and Simona, I don't know how to say this last name you have and I googled it and the internet gave me nothing 

KAYLA: Uh a special note for Derrick and Karissa 

SARAH: I love you 

KAYLA: Just the sweetest people in the world 

SARAH: Very, very sweet 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: Not that the other ones aren't it's just we had an interaction…

KAYLA: Well, it's just a very supportive dad who we love 

SARAH: Yes, so it's wonderful, um but to Derrick and Karissa and Simona welcome thank you for your support 

KAYLA: Welcome, thank you. Simona, tell us how to say your name 

SARAH: Tell us how to say your name. $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyunclekevin @tessa_m_k, Arceness who'd like to promote the Trevor project, Benjamin Ybarra who'd like to promote tabletop games, Anonymous who is still promoting Halloween question mark

KAYLA: Yep  

SARAH: Sarah McCoy who'd like to promote a podcast from a planet weird and my aunt Jennie who would like to promote Christopher’s Haven. I went and I saw knives out with my aunt Jennie and my two cousins, what a great film?

KAYLA: Jennie sometimes like comments on my Tweets and says nice things and it's…

SARAH: Nice 

KAYLA: Great 

SARAH: Um our 15 patrons are Nathaniel White, nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who would like to promote free mom hugs, Sarah Jones who can be found @eternallolli everywhere and dragonfly who is going to promote um…

KAYLA: You know what dragonfly is going to promote?

SARAH: What?

KAYLA: It's my next beef that I just thought of

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: Um all right a late beef, uh my aunt… me and my sister… my family took very cute thanksgiving pictures, my cat was in a turkey hat… 

SARAH: You looked like candy corn 

KAYLA: I know and you know I really need to start running my outfits by you before I wear them because every time I wear something I think is cute you tell me it looks like something else such as a Minion or a candy corn, anyway my aunt posted this very nice picture of my sister and I… which to be honest we did look great but some lady that she was friends with on Facebook and this is on my Twitter so you might have seen it commented they are absolutely gorgeous and then the separate… a separate comment ages I’m shopping for daughter-in-laws um, this isn't like an age sex location like forum where you're dating and also you can't… I’m out of stock 

SARAH: Also, your sister is engaged 

KAYLA: I know 

SARAH: We're in a committed relationship 

KAYLA: We're both out of stock, you can't… we're spoiled 

SARAH: Out of stock?

KAYLA: We are… I had a good word for it earlier, we're unavailable for purchase, we've been sold already 

SARAH: Oh, your real estate agent Evan helps you, right?

KAYLA: Oh yeah, I should actually tell Evan, my real estate about this. I’ll get right on that 

SARAH: What a very specific niche joke that no one who's listening to this podcast will get because… 

KAYLA: Because none of our friends listen to this podcast 

SARAH: Okay, um well thank you for listening tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears and there actually will be an episode next Sunday unlike our last shenanigans 

KAYLA: Tea, and until then, take good care of your cows 

SARAH: It's time for a secret edition 

KAYLA: Here it is, take it away

SARAH: Hey what's up hello welcome to sounds fake but okay a podcast where an aro-ace girl I’m Sarah, that's me 

KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl that's me Kayla 

SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love relationships, sexuality and anything else we might… we just… whoa 

KAYLA: Wait that was wrong 

SARAH: That was wrong 

KAYLA: That was like all wrong  

SARAH: Whoa it has been like two weeks, hold on, say your part, I’m leaving all this in our listeners are going to get this say your part again 

KAYLA: You can't leave this in 

SARAH: I’m leaving it in 

KAYLA: I want… my cat is right next to my microphone I feel like you are going to be able to hear her breathing. Anyway, wait you have to start all over I can't do it… 

SARAH: Oh no 

KAYLA: I can't do it without the prompt, I literally don’t know how to say it. Like I can’t think about… if you ask me I can on point, like just to say my part… 

SARAH: I’m going to have to look at the fucking script that I haven't looked at in years

KAYLA: Hey what's up hello, that's your part 

SARAH: Yeah, I know

[END OF TRANSCRIPT]

Sounds Fake But Okay