Ep 370: Reddit Rabbit Hole (AITA) pt. 21
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, (that's me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, ‘Reddit Rabbit Hole.’
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Hello!
SARAH: It's Halal-Pita time.
KAYLA: It's Halal-Pita time. I wish it was halal-pita time.
SARAH: I texted Kayla today and I was like, do you have any ideas or are we doing AITA? Except it autocorrected to halal-pita.
KAYLA: Halal-Pita. Which… you weren't using voice to text, were you?
SARAH: No, I was just...
KAYLA: It's just, it's incredible that it rhymed, I think.
SARAH: I was just typing and not really looking at what I was typing and then I just hit enter.
KAYLA: Yeah. And I did not understand it that that's why… all I understood was like, do you have any ideas or blah, blah, blah? And I was like, I don't have any ideas and it wasn't until later that I knew that there was a second half to your statement.
SARAH: Halal-Pita.
KAYLA: Halal-Pita. Because to be fair, when I read your text, I wasn't really paying attention to it either, so
SARAH: Incredible.
KAYLA: Just girly things.
SARAH: Anyway, welcome to Halal-Pita.
KAYLA: Welcome to Halal-Pita. Sarah and I are having a business meeting this weekend. So maybe after that, we'll have more ideas.
SARAH: Wow, wouldn't that be something else?
KAYLA: Wouldn't that be just something?
SARAH: Remarkable.
KAYLA: Well
SARAH: In the meantime, we don't have any business because we haven't had our business meeting.
KAYLA: That's true, maybe next time. I bet next time we'll have business.
SARAH: Maybe. Okay, Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: Assholes.
SARAH: Exactly. We already really previewed that, it was kind of a redundant question, but it's a part of the script so I included it
KAYLA: Must be asked.
SARAH: I only have two, but…
KAYLA: I'm sure we'll figure it out.
SARAH: We're usually so slow, it usually takes us so long these days. This one, my sister sent to me.
KAYLA: Well, you know how I feel about Reddit things your sister sends to you.
SARAH: I'm going to be so real, most of them my sister has sent to me.
KAYLA: All right, well…
SARAH: She is really…
KAYLA: In the trenches for us
SARAH: Fueling our Halal Pitas.
KAYLA: Thank you, except for we know what power she wields and how it can be abused, so I don't know.
SARAH: But this one is crazy
KAYLA: I can’t wait
SARAH: It's not very long, but I think it's something we really just need to discuss.
KAYLA: We need to discuss, okay.
SARAH: Especially because you're in the throes of wedding planning.
KAYLA: Oh no, I don't want to think about weddings more today.
SARAH: This is from r/weddingshaming.
KAYLA: I can't do this. Okay.
SARAH: I recently went to a wedding reception where the seating arrangements were alphabetical by first name.
KAYLA: No! What a stupid decision, tell me everything.
SARAH: All the Anns and Bobs at one table, all the Joes and Katies at another, regardless of whether or not any of them knew each other, now that would be great for my uncles Joe.
KAYLA: And it's true.
SARAH: Because my uncle who's an uncle Joe is married to Joe and their daughter is Joanna so they would all be together.
KAYLA: They'd all be together and that would be great. Does this address if there were children there and how that worked out? Because you just can’t be having children loose.
SARAH: I'm going to keep going, we'll see.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: If you came as a plus one and didn't know anybody besides your date, too bad, no exceptions…
KAYLA: Wait, you weren't sitting with your plus one?
SARAH: Strictly alphabetical, except for my one friend, Caitlyn, with a C, who was seated at the K table for some reason, no, we still don't know why.
KAYLA: Oh dear.
SARAH: They had an edit later that says, Caitlyn's name was spelled correctly on the seating chart and her place card and that's why it was funny that she was seated at the K table. No, it wasn't a hastily corrected spelling error, the seating chart was hand inked calligraphy without any awkward cross outs. They wrote Caitlyn on purpose in the middle of a bunch of K names.
KAYLA: Huh! Maybe the C table was full.
SARAH: Maybe there was more than one Caitlyn and one of them was with a K and they felt that they just had a moral obligation to put the Caitlyns together.
KAYLA: I mean, I don't know that any of this is logical, so who is to say?
SARAH: There was one table that was pretty much just women named Sue, Susan, Suzanne, who didn't know each other at all. Imagine being at the Sarah table.
KAYLA: I'm sure it's full.
SARAH: There was one table where a guy I know, his current girlfriend, and his ex all got seated together.
KAYLA: Yes! Okay, so that's interesting to me because the one thought I had for why you would do this was like, I have not gotten to this part of my wedding, but I have heard making the seating chart can be very difficult because you're trying to put people who know each other together, and then if anyone has difficult relationships…
SARAH: And sometimes you have to like loose random people that you don't know what to do with, and you're like, who would they get along with?
KAYLA: Yeah, so I was like, well, the only explanation I can think of is if you have a lot of people you're trying to keep separate or a lot of difficult decisions to make…
SARAH: And you said, fuck it.
KAYLA: And so instead of doing that, you said, fuck it, and went alphabetical so that no one could be upset about your decisions, but then things like this happen.
SARAH: Not putting plus ones with their date is so funny.
KAYLA: I agree.
SARAH: I would have left, maybe.
KAYLA: I don't know why they would do it.
SARAH: OP said, basically everyone ended up standing around the edges of the room all night, and then they said, edit two, can we all please chill out a little? Nobody died, nobody cried, some people swapped seats around, and it made for a good story. At the end of the day, it was a nice wedding. Also, we all know the only thing that really matters at a reception is that the food was damn good. My question is, is this the kind of reception where they bring your food to your seat? Because if people swapped seats, they might receive the wrong food.
KAYLA: That’s a good question. To me, it seems like, at least the last wedding I was at, where… no, the last wedding I was at, we had assigned seats with place cards, but it was family-style eating, and then the other wedding I was at before that… no, it was like a buffet. Because I was thinking like that's part of the reason you might want to have name cards, was that you have to sit here so people would know where to bring the food, rather than just assigning a table and letting you sit wherever you want at that table.
SARAH: Right. I think the weddings I have been to recently have mostly been a name card situation, or one of them, it was a very casual wedding, it was like they had name cards with the number of your table, but then you could sit wherever you wanted at the table, like you found your name card, and then you brought yourself to your table.
KAYLA: Yeah. I feel like I was at a wedding once where they brought each person's plate, and there was a thing on my name card that said what food I was getting.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Why would you do this?
SARAH: So, I'm looking in the comments. One person says, “this person loves an icebreaker at a professional meeting.”
KAYLA: Jesus!
SARAH: “I'd be one of the people having fun with this, but I still know most people wouldn't, and I'd never subject my introvert friends to this, I don't get the lack of awareness for anything this couple must have.”
KAYLA: I was going to ask if you think they ran out of time to make the seating chart, but if you have time to commission hand-calligraphed seating cards, and then you neglect the chart, why would you do that?
SARAH: Well, someone says that they think that someone accidentally hit sort alphabetically in the spreadsheet and didn't realize it before they sent it to the planner.
KAYLA: Huh!
SARAH: And this other person's basically the same thing, “I have a funny feeling that someone's Excel spreadsheet was exported improperly.” Imagine you spend so much time figuring out…
KAYLA: Oh my God, I would kill myself.
SARAH: And you don't realize it until it's too late, like people have already started seating down
KAYLA: Because it's not like you yourself are probably setting up the name cards, the people at the venue are probably doing that, and then you walk out into your big entrance, and then you're like, “wait a second, why is everyone sitting like this?” Oh no, that does seem like what happens.
SARAH: This comment says, “we talked about doing something similar as a joke. One table just of people called Andrew, one of people we knew mainly as someone else's brother, one of people only one of us has ever met, one of people one or more of us has seen naked, and then having them work out how they're connected.”
KAYLA: I love that, I do love that.
SARAH: Much easier for the Andrews than for the people who have seen them naked.
KAYLA: I feel like they could get to it, I feel like they could work it out.
SARAH: It depends what circumstances under which they've…
KAYLA: Yeah, and how open people are about sharing.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That is very fun to me, I love that.
SARAH: Yeah. So, this comment says, “I was once seated at a reception table where I didn't know the other guests at the table, but they knew each other, they totally iced me out of the entire conversation and ignored me the entire time. I just sat there really lonely disappointed and bored, not knowing what to do in that situation.”
[00:10:00]
SARAH: “And I was shocked that they thought acting that way was acceptable. Does nobody have manners anymore? So, this way would ensure that the click-ness and isolation that happened at these events wouldn't happen, but it's still totally messed up to separate couples, so don't do it.” OP responds and says, “I completely agree. A couple of weeks before this alphabet wedding, I was at a different wedding where I had the same experience you did of being the odd one at the table, it totally sucked. The alphabetical thing was total chaos and more than a bit awkward, but I ended up standing in a corner with my friends all night and at the end of the day I had a great time.”
KAYLA: I don't understand why everyone had to stand in corners, like…
SARAH: I think no one wanted to be at their tables.
KAYLA: Why wasn't anyone dancing?
SARAH: Great question.
KAYLA: Or having fun?
SARAH: I heard recently of a wedding where when the dancing started, they got everyone to get on the dance floor to take a picture of everyone.
KAYLA: I've heard of this trick.
SARAH: And then as soon as that's done, they start playing the music and everyone's already on the dance floor. Some people are more inclined to dance, and also you have a picture of everyone who's at your wedding.
KAYLA: I have heard of this. If people are not dancing at my wedding…
SARAH: I'll kill them myself.
KAYLA: I don't know what to tell them about that because we'll be… the DJ at my venue is in a balcony, like you're at the club.
SARAH: Romeo and Juliet?
KAYLA: Like you're at the club and the DJ is up there. I'm going to be having my phone on my head with like, you know, you put the request on your phone and then you hold it up, that's going to be me to my wedding DJ. People aren't dancing, hello!? With my balcony full of DJs?
SARAH: Oh my God. OP also says, “I think the groom genuinely thought it was a fun way to get all the different people he and the bride cared about to meet each other.”
KAYLA: Well, he's stupid because that's… at least if you're going to do that and be like, it's a fun way for people to get to know each other, you need to like warn people and then provide icebreaker activities.
SARAH: Yeah, like have questions on the table or…
KAYLA: Get some question cards.
SARAH: Yeah, be like, “how do you know the bride and groom?” “What's the most embarrassing thing you've seen the bride or groom do?”
KAYLA: You can't just leave people like that. I heard recently, I had a friend that went to a small… it was like maybe 30 people, they had it at like a nice Airbnb, like a small wedding. And they did one of those people scavenger hunts where… or bingo boards, have you ever done that? Where you put a bunch of facts about people on a bingo board and then you have to like walk around and talk to people.
SARAH: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
KAYLA: And that was cute and fine because it was like 30 people and they all probably mostly knew each other and they did an activity.
SARAH: I was somewhat recently at a birthday party that was Love Island-themed.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I don't know if I've talked about this detail on the podcast, but we played Love Island games and the rules was that the first person that you coupled up with had to be someone you didn't know.
KAYLA: Love that.
SARAH: So, then we just had to, you know…
KAYLA: Yeah, figure it out.
SARAH: Do the shenanigans.
KAYLA: What a terrible decision. What do you think I should do for my wedding? What fun way do you think I should sort people? Sexuality? Straights on one side, queers on the other?
SARAH: It would be like West Side Story and then they have to dance-battle.
KAYLA: Yes! And you know who is going to win the dance battle.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I also recently, completely unrelated, I know someone who was recently at a wedding in Tennessee in December and it was an outdoor wedding.
KAYLA: Oh, why?
SARAH: And the forecast was that it was supposed to be in the 50s, which is chilly, but it's doable, right?
KAYLA: I guess.
SARAH: The wedding was right when that like giant cold hit and it was 11 degrees.
KAYLA: Oh, no! Was the whole wedding outside or just part of it?
SARAH: The reception was in a barn.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I mean, the wedding I was most recently at, the reception was also in a barn-ish thing.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It wasn't a barn, it was more formal than a barn, but like… and I guess it was fine, but like during the wedding… and also, I've been to a wedding that was outside in Northern California in November.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And it was pretty… it was chilly.
KAYLA: I was in a wedding once that was in North Carolina maybe, but it was in the fall, it was maybe in October and the whole wedding was outside and it definitely got chilly. They had some of those heat lamps and stuff, but it was not like the most pleasant.
SARAH: Yeah. The only weddings I have been to that were completely outside were in the summer in Michigan.
KAYLA: I don't think I've been to one that's all outside.
SARAH: One of them got actually very hot.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't like that.
SARAH: And it actually, I think at one point it was like pouring rain, but there were like tons and tons of tents so it was fine and then it stopped, it didn't rain for very long.
KAYLA: Outdoor wedding feels very stressful to me because what of the weather?
SARAH: This was a wedding that was at their house. It was like a big wedding, they have a lot of space at their house in their yard, but it was at their house, so.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But it was all outside. So, like we could have… in a real case of emergency, we could have shoved everyone in their house.
KAYLA: And wouldn't have that been fun?
SARAH: Okay. Here's my other one that I have prepared. From there, we will raw dog it.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: This is an AITA, a real life AITA. Am I the asshole for divorcing my wife after she told me it wasn't fun to have sex with me?
KAYLA: Fun is such an interesting word.
SARAH: Interesting word choice.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: So, I, 30, male, have been married to my wife, 29, female, for three years. And up until recently, everything seemed fine, right? I don't know, you tell me.
KAYLA: We don’t know, probably not, guessing by the everything.
SARAH: But then, out of nowhere, she dropped this bombshell during dinner one night. She said, “it's just not fun to have sex with you anymore.”
KAYLA: That’s such a wild word choice.
SARAH: Like, what? I almost choked on my mashed potatoes, I was completely blindsided.
KAYLA: How do you choke on mashed potatoes?
SARAH: Yeah, that'd be hard to do.
KAYLA: Maybe the problem is his gag reflex.
SARAH: Maybe the problem was that the mashed potatoes were not properly mashed.
KAYLA: Some people like it lumpy.
SARAH: I was completely blindsided. I asked her what she meant, and she said, “you're just too predictable.”
KAYLA: Oh, ma'am.
SARAH: “Excuse me? Predictable?” So now I'm sitting there trying to process that my wife thinks I'm boring in bed, and she basically said she'd rather be with someone who spices things up, like a reality TV show or a pizza with 10 toppings.
KAYLA: Wait, was that her words or his?
SARAH: I think it was his.
KAYLA: Okay, either way.
SARAH: I've always been a loyal, straightforward guy, I thought that was a good thing. Apparently, it's a deal breaker. So, I decided that since I can't be a spicy salsa in the bedroom, maybe it's time to go. I told her I wanted a divorce, she cried and said I was overreacting, but I've been emotionally wrecked ever since. I've been practicing new moves in the mirror, like weird dance moves, trying to be more unpredictable, but it's not helping.
KAYLA: Oh, no.
SARAH: Now she's telling me that I'm dramatic and need therapy, but I'm just trying to respect myself. I even started sleeping on the couch because I don't want to be near someone who doesn't find me fun anymore, I'm just hurt. So, am I the asshole…
KAYLA: Yes!
SARAH: For divorcing her just because she said sex with me isn't fun? Shouldn't I deserve someone who thinks I'm as fun as a roller coaster ride and not a tofu sandwich?
KAYLA: There's no way this is real, the writing style is bananas.
SARAH: Once it got to practicing new moves in the mirror, I was like, I don't know if this is real, but…
KAYLA: I don't think this is correct.
SARAH: It's so… okay, let's assume this is real, okay?
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: She was clearly telling him that something was lacking in their sex life and she wanted to make a change.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: She didn't say it directly, she didn't say, I want you to do this thing.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: She was inviting a conversation.
KAYLA: And it was the first conversation about this.
SARAH: Did she go about it in the right way? Maybe not.
KAYLA: Perhaps not.
SARAH: But she was inviting a conversation and he said…
KAYLA: Divorce!
SARAH: Divorce!
KAYLA: I just… like, he didn't even have a follow-up conversation, like didn't even try to be more fun, just immediately, no.
SARAH: Yeah. Oh, no, I see a comment that says, “what do you mean? OP has been perfecting groundbreaking avant-garde sexy moves in front of the mirror just for her, picture it.”
KAYLA: Oh, my God.
SARAH: “Stark naked, spinning and gyrating like a drunken compass, desperately chasing the elusive art of impeccably unpredictable seduction. I tried imagining it and now I'm cursed with the eternal mental loop of OP's naked pirouettes and chaotic choreography, it's like Cirque du Soleil meets a midlife crisis.”
KAYLA: I just don't believe that you're like… there was no problems up until now. But then you are immediately jumping to divorce after one… I guess this is the first time you've had a difficult conversation in your relationship.
SARAH: Yeah. All of the replies are like, so he can't take criticism at all?
KAYLA: Like, this can't be the first time that there has been constructive criticism in this relationship.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Like, and again, perhaps it is.
SARAH: She's not feeling satisfied, maybe, I know it can be difficult not to take that personally. Not me being like, it's like when someone gives you notes on your writing.
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: But like, here's the thing, though…
SARAH: Well, when I was in college, when I first started getting noted on my writing, like in class by my peers and my professors, like creative writing, not like essays and shit, I at first had the instinct to take it way too personally.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like, oh, you giving me criticism on my writing means that you're saying that I'm a terrible writer.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: That is not, in fact, what was meant. They were giving me constructive criticism to improve the writing I had because the writing had potential because the writing was good and there were ways to make it better, they were helping me, I had to get that into my brain.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Even if their ideas were dumb sometimes.
KAYLA: Well, you know.
SARAH: This man clearly has not had that moment of self-reflection in his life.
KAYLA: No. Because here's the thing, too, they've been married for three years, presumably they were together for a little bit, at least before that, I don't think it is unnatural then for it to be like, oh, you're predictable, like, I know what you're going to do, that seems like a pretty normal thing to happen.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So, I feel like no one should be surprised that that is her complaint.
SARAH: Yeah. I also, I don't know how often these people are fucking, but like, I feel like if they're having sex more often, then that's more reason for her to be like, we're just going through the motions, bitch.
KAYLA: Yeah, we might as well switch it up.
SARAH: Yeah. And I love how he's like, apparently, it's a deal breaker. She never said it was a deal breaker.
KAYLA: I think it was a deal breaker for he.
SARAH: Yeah. This man says, verified on Twitter, man, like paid for the subscription, man.
KAYLA: Ew, good lord.
SARAH: Said, “this woman, as relayed here, clearly did it to be mean and hurt him, there was no attempt to have an honest discussion, she said just to hurt him, divorce that bitch.”
KAYLA: How could you possibly know that? Oh, well, okay.
SARAH: And then another person said, “I'd divorce a guy who uses spicy salsa as an adjective too.”
KAYLA: This is what I'm saying, is the writing alone makes it like, I don't know about this guy.
SARAH: Yeah. Also, this comment is fair, it says, “they always claim they want you to be straightforward and honest, but when you are, it's the end of the fucking world.”
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah.
SARAH: So, there's that.
KAYLA: There's that.
SARAH: Those have been the two AITAs that I prepared, let me see if I have any others floating in the air.
KAYLA: Okay, I'm going to go blow my nose while you do that.
SARAH: Okay. Good luck and have fun. Actually, I have an ‘Am I the Asshole?’ that I would like to give to all of you right now, I'm going to say this from the perspective of my weird boutique pharmacy.
KAYLA: Wait, what is happening right now?
SARAH: I am posting.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I'm telling a story of ‘Am I the Asshole?’ from the perspective of my weird boutique pharmacy and restaurant.
KAYLA: What!?
SARAH: It's both a pharmacy and a restaurant.
KAYLA: So, you're not asking if you're the asshole, you're asking from the perspective of the pharmacy if the pharmacy is the asshole?
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Okay. I'm going to need this in proper ‘Am I the Asshole?’ formatting. So, you better figure out how old that pharmacy is.
SARAH: Wait, I can find this out, I know I can find this out.
KAYLA: I'm riveted, I didn't know you had a boutique pharmacy, I didn't know there was a restaurant in it and I feel like I've missed a lot.
SARAH: Assuming this pharmacy was born like at the beginning.
KAYLA: At the beginning, right
SARAH: We're assuming that this pharmacy has already turned the age that they will turn this year, okay?
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: All right. Am I the asshole for giving my customer an ultimatum?
KAYLA: No, you said it wrong…
SARAH: No, it’s the header.
KAYLA: Oh, that's the header. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Am I the asshole for giving my customer an ultimatum? Fine.
SARAH: I, pharmacy, 64…
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I have given my customer, Sarah, 28, an ultimatum. Sarah has been coming to me to get her Adderall because she had a difficult time getting Adderall at other pharmacies in the area because there is a shortage for no fucking reason. Sarah was recommended this pharmacy because her boss's daughter was able to get the controlled substance here.
KAYLA: Perfect.
SARAH: And so, Sarah, once she had so many troubles finding a place that had Adderall prescription that she could get, once her place where she was buying it for way too expensive stopped having it, she said, fine, I will try this place and they have been able to have it. Sarah has only sent her Adderall to this pharmacy because it is in Beverly Hills, that's not near where Sarah lives. She can go there from work, and it takes like 20 minutes both ways, just a straight shot down the road, 20 minutes both ways. Sarah from the future would like to amend this, it takes 30 both ways because I always go at lunchtime. Sarah only sends her Adderall here because it would be absurd to send all of her prescriptions here because Sarah has many prescriptions because there are many things that are wrong with her. Sarah also… the pharmacy really knows a lot about my life.
KAYLA: They really do.
SARAH: Sarah has problems because her Adderall is on a two-month cycle and her other brain meds are on a three-month cycle, so they don't line up when she needs to pick them up. And when I say on a two-month cycle, it's really one month, but you can do two at a time, but then she needs to see the doctor again, but then her other meds are on three months. Also, she has allergy medications from different doctors and then she also has a medication from her PCP. So that's three different prescribers and everything's on a different thing. And Adderall, because it's sometimes hard to get and sometimes Sarah will skip weekend days to try and preserve it, or if she doesn't have it for a while because she can't get it and then she finally gets it, once she gets it, her insurance will not legally let her fill it again for 28 days so she can't fill it early to get it back on schedule with the other ones. This is why Sarah only sends her Adderall to this pharmacy, because otherwise she would have to go all the way to Beverly Hills all the fucking time. It is open on Saturdays, but not on Sundays. So, Sarah, for the past month or two, has not been able to get her Adderall. Now, in the month of November, it was not immediately ready, and Sarah called and said, “hey.” And they were like, “oh, we'll order it, we'll have it on Wednesday.” And they did.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Great. And then in December, Sarah called and said, “hey.” And they said, “hmm, we don't have it, sorry, we haven't been able to get it.” Oh, sorry, I said this because I'm the pharmacy.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: And Sarah said, “okay, fine, whatever. I'm about to be in Michigan for two weeks. I have a means to acquire it in Michigan, so I will just get some in Michigan. I will use my reserve supply for right now, and I will get some in Michigan and then when I come back in January, hopefully they will be able to get it back in stock, and I will be able to get it.” So, I don't bother them. And then earlier this week, this customer, Sarah, she calls me and she says, “hey.”
KAYLA: Hey.
SARAH: “I have a prescription in with you. Can you get it in stock? What's the status on that?” And I say, “oh, hmm” and then I look at her address, her home address, and I say, “maybe you should try and get it at somewhere closer to home.” And Sarah says, “I can't, the whole reason…”
KAYLA: “The whole reason I’m here”
SARAH: “I come to you is because I can't get it elsewhere.” And they say, “hmm, okay, call us back again tomorrow.” To which Sarah says, “okay, I think their shipments come in on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and this was a Tuesday.” So, I was like, “okay…” sorry. Sarah was like, “okay, maybe they're going to see if they're going to get a shipment in.” Now it's Wednesday. Sarah calls again. Sarah says, “hi, you told me to call back, I'm seeing if you have this.” They transfer you… They transfer Sarah... I transfer Sarah.
KAYLA: You transfer Sarah.
SARAH: And most of the time when I transfer Sarah, what happens is it rings forever and then it goes to voicemail.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: And then she never gets to talk to anyone. This time someone picked up, wow, what a miracle. And Sarah explains the situation to me, the pharmacy again, the Omniscient Pharmacy. And Sarah says, “yeah, so this is the situation.” And then I, the pharmacy, tell Sarah, “yeah, so our wholesale provider expects us to come to them with four regular prescriptions for every one controlled substance prescription. So, if people only come to us for controlled substances, our wholesaler will reach the limit and they'll cut us off for everyone.”
[00:30:00]
SARAH: So, then I, the pharmacy, ask Sarah, “do you have other prescriptions?” And I say, “yeah, but I fill them elsewhere because I specifically go to you guys for this prescription because I can't find it elsewhere. Also, I live far away.” Actually, Sarah told me this before I explained the situation. Maybe if I had explained the situation first, Sarah would have given a different answer. That would not have been truthful, but maybe more helpful to her situation.
KAYLA: Indeed.
SARAH: And so, I, the pharmacy, said to Sarah, well, you would need to switch your other prescriptions to us and then we could make sure that you're able to get your Adderall once a month.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And Sarah says, “oh.” Because what have I, the pharmacy, just implied? That I could get Sarah her drugs, but I won't unless she brings me more prescriptions.
KAYLA: Is that legal?
SARAH: Am I the asshole?
KAYLA: Yes. Is that legal?
SARAH: I think if I brought a lawyer, I'm Sarah again, I think if I brought them a lawyer, I'm sure they would be like, “oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we can give it to you.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But like, girl.
KAYLA: I know some lawyers.
SARAH: So now I can't… so now I… my God
KAYLA: What are you going to do?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: What the hell?
SARAH: So, I could switch all my prescriptions there, but like sometimes in a month I'll have to go three separate times to pick up prescriptions.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I can't be fucking going to Beverly Hills…
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: So
KAYLA: I don't like that.
SARAH: So, the pharmacy is the asshole?
KAYLA: Yes, I think…
SARAH: I understand that their wholesaler is like trying to get them to not be drug mules or whatever.
KAYLA: Sure, but I don't see why that has to be your problem to fix.
SARAH: Yeah, that's not my problem. Also, it's really annoying because this place has no online interface at all, like you just have to call them every single time.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And that was annoying.
KAYLA: Do you think if you just keep calling them, being like, “do you have it?” “Do you have it?” “Do you have it?”
SARAH: You know, I thought about that, but then I thought, well, then what if they don't like me, and then what if they ban me, and then what if I die?
KAYLA: Well, if they don't like you, that's fine, because I don't like them. And if they ban you, that's fine, because they suck.
SARAH: Okay. I called my local CVS the other day to see if they had it, just to like check, and they never called me back.
KAYLA: That's rude.
SARAH: So now I'm going to go back to calling every CVS. I think I'm going to start with Ralphs, because I have had more success at Kroger in Michigan than I have at CVS.
KAYLA: That's so weird.
SARAH: And my insurance will let me fill prescriptions at Kroger slash Ralphs. So, I think I'm going to try Ralphs.
KAYLA: Well, if you need a lawyer, I know many.
SARAH: Worst comes to worst, I can call the place where I used to get it, where I would have to pay $140 a month for it.
KAYLA: I don't think you should do that.
SARAH: But I don't want to do that.
KAYLA: I don't think you should do that.
SARAH: I'm already paying $600 a month for my fucking health insurance.
KAYLA: Dude, that's so fucking insane.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: So much money.
SARAH: So, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
KAYLA: Well, that was disheartening.
SARAH: Hello, this is Sarah from the future with an update. Actually, no, this is the pharmacy and grill and coffee shop with an edit to the AITA. Hi, it's me, the pharmacy. And I called my customer Sarah on the phone. And Sarah was like, “huh?” And so, Sarah picks up and I say, “hi, your prescription is ready.” What!? All this and then you... This is a toxic relationship. I feel this is not secure, this is stressing me out, I feel manipulated and on edge. Also, my prescription was $2 more, which I think… I mean, I know it is my insurance in the new year, but that was just also news to me. And so, I found this upsetting so I'm on a real whirlwind. I haven't fully decided if we're going to break up, but this has been your update, thank you.
KAYLA: This is why sometimes I will hear stories of acquaintances using Adderall recreationally and I...
SARAH: It pisses me off.
KAYLA: It makes me really upset too, specifically because of you. Like, it pisses me the fuck off. And people will be like, “oh, it's not like it's harmful” or whatever. And I'm like, oh, believe you me, I'm not concerned about your physical well-being.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: If you want to do a recreational drug, that's not my business.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: I'm pissed because you're wasting it, like there is a shortage.
SARAH: Yeah, there are people who need that shit to function.
KAYLA: Like, there's a shortage of this and you're just using it for silly time.
SARAH: And then whenever I'm like, oh, let me skip a day on the weekend or whatever to try and preserve my supply, my brain is always really bad that day because turns out it works.
KAYLA: Yeah, yeah.
SARAH: I was able to go without it for a week when I was in Michigan, because… like intentionally, because I wasn't doing anything, but if I'm in my normal life schedule, it's not a good idea for me to just skip it.
KAYLA: Yeah. If any of you own a pharmacy with Adderall, let us know.
SARAH: Well, it would have to be in California.
KAYLA: Legally, yes.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Well, I'm probably going to be surprised in Michigan in February and then my family is going to be in LA, not surprised, at the end of February and the beginning of March, so, I might…
KAYLA: So, you could… There are ways.
SARAH: There are ways, but I can't be doing that forever.
KAYLA: No, unless.
SARAH: It's so... So that's the tea, thank you.
KAYLA: Yuck.
SARAH: Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: How do you think tables should be charted at a wedding?
SARAH: Yeah. What is the most chaotic table setting situation that you would approve of?
KAYLA: Oh, approve of, like for real?
SARAH: Yeah, like the most chaotic thing that you would be like, actually, this will work. I mean, it may differ depending on the exact circumstance, but.
KAYLA: I cannot think of anything. Most chaotic? I mean, the straights versus gays, I think I could probably get away with.
SARAH: Yeah. But here's the thing. Well, now for your wedding, it works, because you…
KAYLA: I have some mixed couples.
SARAH: You are a mixed couple.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah.
SARAH: That's what I was just about to say, is it works because it's like, one of you is…
KAYLA: Ah. So, it's like instead of people sitting on the groom's side and the bride's side, it's you're sitting on the straight side or over gays side?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay. All right.
SARAH: Exactly.
KAYLA: Yeah, maybe that could work.
SARAH: Oh my God, you did not realize that you were mixed?
KAYLA: You know.
SARAH: Silly times. Okay, I guess that's our poll. Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: Girl, my beef is that wedding planning came for my ass this week.
SARAH: Booo
KAYLA: It was going really well and then all of a sudden…
SARAH: Bam!
KAYLA: It became stressful and I said, “oh, no.” My juice is that over the weekend I drank a peanut butter chocolate smoothie and it was really good.
SARAH: Nice.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I love that for you.
KAYLA: And I had someone try it that didn't like peanut butter or chocolate and they liked it, so.
SARAH: Wow, I wouldn't.
KAYLA: You say that though, but.
SARAH: I wouldn't.
KAYLA: You say that.
SARAH: My juice… what was your beef? I already forgot.
KAYLA: Oh my God. I'll tell you what, my guest list just got one person shorter.
SARAH: Oh, right, it was your wedding plan, okay.
KAYLA: You don't have to worry about what side she's sitting on.
SARAH: Who's going to officiate your fucking wedding now, bitch?
KAYLA: Who cares? Not you.
SARAH: Um.
KAYLA: Uninvited.
SARAH: Uninvited. My juice is not uninvited, but it is the book Unrivaled by Peter… By Peter? Who is Peter?
KAYLA: Peter!?
SARAH: I meant to say Rachel Reid, I'm not sure why I said Peter.
KAYLA: Peter!?
SARAH: Listen, it is the third Hollanoff book, it is coming out in September, I'm excited about this. My beef is that there is a special cover for it that has the bisexual colors and I like it better than the regular cover, but it is exclusively at Barnes and Noble and that would mean I would have to buy it from Barnes and Noble and not an independent bookseller.
KAYLA: I'm surprised they haven't come out with like TV cover versions.
SARAH: Tie-in covers? I've heard whispers that they might be.
KAYLA: Like there's no way it's not going to happen, that would be stupid.
SARAH: Yeah. And people would want to buy those.
KAYLA: I know. And that's why it would be stupid not to.
SARAH: There are a lot of haters of the album… the album cover? Jesus Christ!
KAYLA: The book cover. I know a lot of people do have strong feelings about that style of book cover on smut books, which I get.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Yeah. But I mean the other book covers for those books, like the original ones were just shirtless men torsos.
KAYLA: Yeah, men, which I don't like that either. I don't think that there's a good version of a romance, I think maybe just text.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Just a color and some text and that's all you get if it's smut and that's how you'll know it's smut is because it's boring.
SARAH: Yeah, right, it’s just nothing.
KAYLA: Yeah, textbook.
SARAH: Yeah, I also saw a comment of someone who's like, they always make Ilya's cross necklace comically large on the covers so that it's big enough that you can see it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But then if you think about the proportions…
KAYLA: The proportions, it’s like one of those giant chains a rapper would wear
SARAH: Yeah. Anyway, but yes. And now that that's coming out, then now I'm going to have to, not have to, but I will want to buy all three of the Hollanoff books.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But I just, I know that as soon as I own them all, they're going to be like, we're coming out with like a special edition. And like, that's what I want. Like, I want to wait and see if it comes out.
KAYLA: Yeah. I feel like they'll do a box set probably, right?
SARAH: I don't know. Well, if they do a box set, they would probably do the entire Game Changers series.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's true, that's true.
SARAH: And some people are doing like their own like special covers.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Which like, cool, but like…
KAYLA: Yeah, that is tough, because I've read the first one as a library ebook and that's how I'm going to read the second one. But then if I want to read the third one in any timely manner, I'd have to purchase it and then I can't just have one.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I'd also, I think, want the TV version.
SARAH: Yeah, I have them on Kindle.
KAYLA: Which is rare because I never want the movie version.
SARAH: Right. Usually the tie-in ones are like, get this away from me.
KAYLA: But I would want it for this one.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because they look biblically accurate.
SARAH: Exactly. My other beef is that my pharmacy gave me an ultimatum. My other beef is that my house is a disaster, my house is so… it's both messy and dirty. And like, that needs to be rectified. But I'm… there's too much going on, I can't... My other beef is that I'm still itchy. You can tell us about your beef, your juice... I guess it's a juice that I started getting my allergy shots. I'm not itchy because of the allergy shots, I'm itchy independent of the allergy shots.
KAYLA: Despite.
SARAH: Despite. Well, because yeah, one allergy shot is not going to fix my itchiness, it takes a year and a half.
KAYLA: That's crazy.
SARAH: You might start seeing some changes in like some months
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And that's if you do it once or twice a week.
KAYLA: That's too much work.
SARAH: If you go more than seven days without getting one, at the beginning at least, you have to like, go back a step.
KAYLA: What's the point?
SARAH: Anyway. You can tell us about your beef and your juice on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you want to support us there so that you can support my medical bills.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Our $5 patrons are Meredith, Morgan I., Philip Rueker, Phoenix Eliot and Rachel. Our other… nope, that's not how that one goes. Our $10 patrons who… so, those were the $5 for this time, I don't know what I said, but I'm saying it now. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Alastor, who would like to promote their podcast 'Shadows and Shenanigans.' Ani, who would like to promote the importance of being kind to yourself and others. Arcnes, who would like to promote the Trevor Project and Benjamin Ybarra, who would like to promote Tabletop Games. Our other $10 patrons are Clare Olsen, Danielle Hutchinson, Derick & Carissa, Elle Bitter, Eric, my aunt Jeannie, Johanna, Kayla's Dad, KELLER bradley, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Purple Hayes, Quartertone, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm and Val. Our $15 patrons are Ace, who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Nathaniel White, who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla's aunt Nina, who would like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell, who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Changeling & Alex who would like to promote their company Control Alt Access (dot com) and Dr. Jacki, Dragonfly, my mom and River, who would like to promote not being itchy and sparkly sweatpants. Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]