Ep 85: Queer Education in Schools feat. A Friend

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SARAH: Hey what's up hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast with an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me

KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla

AMANDA: And a bisexual lady who also teaches children named Amanda

SARAH: We talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand. 

KAYLA: On today's episode, Queer Education in Schools. Sounds Fake But Okay.

SARAH: Sounds Fake But Okay. Welcome back to the pod. 

KAYLA: Oh shit. Uh 

SARAH: Every week. 

KAYLA: No no no no no no. M’arsupial. 

SARAH: Okay I hate that. We're just gonna dive right into it. We have a friend here with us today. 

AMANDA: Hello.

SARAH: Amanda.

AMANDA: Hi. 

KAYLA: Who are you? How did you get into our home?

SARAH: I let her in. 

AMANDA: Well I am a person that Sarah knows…

SARAH: That’s a good start

AMANDA: Because I am dating Sarah's sister. 

SARAH: That is true. 

AMANDA: Who has been a former podcast guest. 

SARAH: That's true. 

KAYLA: She has been on twice now? 

SARAH: Mm-hmm

KAYLA: Wow

AMANDA: Yes. I've listened to both episodes as well as many others. 

KAYLA: Wow. She's a true fan. And a supportive lady.

AMANDA: And I also am a master's student in an elementary education program learning how to be an elementary school teacher and that is who I am.

SARAH: Nice. 

KAYLA: How exciting.

SARAH: Thank you for joining us. Amanda what are we talking about today?

AMANDA: Today we are talking about how educators and other adults in children's lives need to be really intentional about talking to children about queer identities starting from pretty young ages.

SARAH: Yeah, because we push straightness onto kids very young so maybe we should teach them about queer people too. 

AMANDA: Yeah. 

KAYLA: We sure do.

AMANDA: That's something I think about because school has such a big role in teaching children about what their gender means and what their sexuality means even if we're not coming out and saying it. And that's a problem when we are not intervening in like the messages that society is giving us about what it means to be a woman, a man, a straight person, a gay person

SARAH: A human, a cat, a dog

AMANDA: An asexual person, a demi-sexual person

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: A person who wears long sleeved shirts when it's too warm in her room. 

KAYLA: It's you. 

SARAH: Yeah. 

KAYLA: We’re talking about you. 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: We have a friend who was on the podcast a long time ago who's non-binary and they teach preschool right now and they're in school for it and they always they'll tell stories sometimes but like kids will be like why do you look like that or like what are you and they'll just have to be like okay. 

SARAH: Yeah. 

KAYLA: But like it's… I don't… I think it's good that they're there teaching because then they have those conversations with the kids. Like if they were just like a cis person those you know those conversations wouldn't happen.

AMANDA: Yeah. It’s much more difficult for a person not of that identity to like introduce that conversation into a classroom authentically. For example, I feel pretty confident talking about some women who date women or some women who marry women. I know like a bunch of books that I will be bringing into my own classroom to talk about that but as I was preparing for this episode I... 

KAYLA: She came so prepared by the way. This is like… About to be the most prepared episode that has ever happened. She came in with the lesson plan for y'all. It's going to be great. 

AMANDA: It's structured.

SARAH: It is

AMANDA: I don't think we're actually following the structure but the structure is there. 

KAYLA: But at least you prepared anything. Anyway continue.

AMANDA: Yeah. Um but you know I was sitting down because this is a podcast primarily about asexuality and I was thinking like how do I talk about how to bring in positive messages about asexual people. And like it was a challenge for me because I'm not of that identity. So I think it's really important for you know the teaching field to have people of all identities in it and for people to be able to be open about those identities because exposure is like a really important part of queer education in schools.

SARAH: Yeah I was watching… so the other day I watched the entire series of the tv show The Other Two in a single day. It's a good show. 

AMANDA: Okay 

SARAH: Um but one of the main characters is gay and he through a series of events his little brother is famous it's about the older siblings as they're struggling and their little brother is like famous and um he ends up at a high school dance and he encounters a teacher there who is gay and I was like wow that's a teacher who's like openly gay yeah at a high school in New Jersey and that I was like kind of taken aback by that and I was like I wish I wasn't taken aback by this like and then there was like another like person who I don't know exactly what their gender was but like I… I don't know what their gender was and it's like they were just a character like they were just a kid at the high school I was like that's exciting.

KAYLA: Yeah thinking about it I never had a queer teacher, I think all my teachers were white

SARAH: Well you did grow up in Hartland

KAYLA: I did grow up in Hartland, but just saying I literally don't think I ever had a teacher that wasn't white, so yikes.

AMANDA: I found retro… I found out retroactively that I had queer teachers but…

KAYLA: That's cool 

AMANDA: None of my teachers were out at the time, I'm kind of learning the more that I get into this field that I'm like not the first generation of teachers to like really focus on being open but like because there's definitely people who have done it before but like I'm… when I look on how… look at like resources on how to like be a queer teacher and open about it like I'm not finding much because there's not a lot of information at this point but you know one day I think about this moment all the time like about like actually coming up to my students like when that's going to happen because like it'll happen after like me and my partner like get engaged and like I'm going to have to simultaneously tell them like oh I'm engaged like exciting moment also…

KAYLA: It's a woman

AMANDA: It's a woman. Like that's like that's an exciting moment to think about and also pretty scary because children like even if they don't really know like they're still learning a lot about the world but they pick up on the messages that adults and like the media have um and might even just not know how to react to something that they've never heard of before. 

SARAH: I almost think like the younger they are the easier it would be, but if you're teaching like fifth grade, it’s like those kids they have ingrained in their heads what their parents taught them.

AMANDA: Absolutely

SARAH: By that point like I mean yes they are still kids and they have plenty of room to grow and learn but like at that point yeah versus like a first grader they might sort of know what their parents think but they're not going to be like well I hate you because my dad voted for Trump and it's like…

KAYLA: And even if they did I feel with younger kids it's easier to be like okay well you're little like you don't really know what you're talking…

SARAH: You can like reason with them and they'll be like oh okay that makes sense but by the time they get older they're more… I feel like they're more willing to like push back.

AMANDA: Yeah. Children also they kind of just accept things and move on 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: Like I remember so many times when I was student teaching this year like telling my students something really important like maybe I just had like a really impactful conversation with them about like why their skin is dark and my skin is white and then they're just like okay I'm gonna do my drawing now. It's… They're able to like understand so much but they also don't put like the amount of meaning into it that adults and older people do 

SARAH: They're just like oh okay that's another fact such as I like broccoli and I don't like chocolate which is the opposite of what most children would say, I’m just being honest world. Anyway.

AMANDA: And since children like can kind of accept these ideas lightly like it's really important to like start introducing ideas like differences in gender identity and differences in sexual identity in like neutral settings. Like this honestly kind of annoys me but it's also like a really good way of doing it like whenever I've talked to a professor about like how to introduce a difficult social topic they're like read a book to your class and so I like came with like this whole list of like books that you could read to kids…

SARAH: Wow 

AMANDA: About like different gender identities or different sexualities um and it is a good way to introduce these topics um as long as you're facilitating the conversation

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: Although some of them are a little odd like I was looking at one for non-binary like teaching about non-binary people and it's called… it's about a book called Neither and from what I understand it's like about a creature who is not a duck but also not a bunny, they are neither and or both and so it's like introducing students to the idea that like there's not a binary of men and women that there's like an in between which is an interesting idea and I think is important like it's important it's fundamental to understanding non-binary people but it's also comparing non-binary people to an animal

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SARAH: Yeah. And it's also being like well there is duck and there is rabbit and then like those are the two like sides of it like it's still kind of binary in a way because yeah these are the two things and then the other people are like not those which is like it's kind of true but also it's very complicated

AMANDA: Because elementary school children have such a strong idea of like what it means to be a boy and what it means to be a girl which is really unfortunate and we can get into that but because they have such a strong idea like introducing it that way can be really useful and like they can get more like the conversation can get more accurate from there, especially as kids get older but no it is an issue.

KAYLA: I also wonder because like I've taken like developmental psych classes about like when kids start understanding like metaphors and more kind of like abstract things and so I'm just wondering like I don't know like what's the age where they really start understanding and be able to like fully take in like a metaphor like that, like a wrap you know what I mean like… so I don't know I'm sure you… I'm sure… yeah more than I do

AMANDA: My third graders can do it with what we call scaffolding which just means teacher support, I wouldn't expect a student to be able to start doing that on their own to like fourth fifth grade so like around the ages of nine or ten in a like I could see that book like going over in a third grade classroom with like the teacher facilitating and the kids like coming out of it saying like oh like I understand that there are some people who don't think of themselves as men or women, like the non-binary is a thing. Yeah

SARAH: The thing I keep thinking about is this this idea of when people are saying like oh like they're too young to explain to them like my kids are too young to understand what gay or whatever means but it's like but you've been pushing heterosexuality on them their entire life 

AMANDA: Yeah 

SARAH: And it's just like I feel like a lot of… until the parents stop pushing that until the society and the parents stop pushing that onto the children which is going to be a long time like it kind of falls on the shoulders of queer people and teachers and queer teachers to like help them unlearn that which sucks and it's stupid

AMANDA: Yeah I definitely feel that in classrooms like there's already this…. like I taught in a third grade classroom and there was this already this automatic assumption that like everybody was straight even though they probably don't even know the word straight, um like teacher that… not teachers, students asking me asking me pretty often like oh do you have a boyfriend and me being like no 

SARAH: Yeah do you… what… do you just say no to that?

AMANDA: Yeah I just say no because that's I don't have a boyfriend

SARAH: Do they ever like push it because like as someone who I’ve worked with children a little bit coaching gymnastics yeah sometimes they'll be like oh do you have a boyfriend and I’ll be like no and they'll be like why not and I’ll be like because I don't want to and they're like why not and I’m like because I don't go do your cartwheel 

AMANDA: To keep professional…

SARAH: Kids are wild 

AMANDA: Yeah they are. Oh my god um to keep professional distance I usually don't let the conversation go beyond there I’ll just be like, that's an interesting question why do you want to know that like I flip it back on them um the idea of professional difference itself is like pretty interesting because I think I could probably get away with saying yes I have a boyfriend but like in a lot of places I couldn't get away with yeah I have a girlfriend actually 

SARAH: Yeah, and then at what point do you want to be like, I feel like some people would just lie and be like oh yeah I have a boyfriend but it's like… but then you're down a rabbit hole 

AMANDA: Yeah 

SARAH: And then you're just like… I think I feel like it would be better to just be honest and not elaborate than to lie about it but I feel like in some places people I don't know 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Yeah 

AMANDA: I know teachers that have definitely gotten down the rabbit hole and it's hard to like pull yourself out especially like if you're not out to administration. I do… like I have a picture of Emily as like my phone background and like I have gotten questions about like the phone background a lot. um and they'll just be like who's that and at this point I just say like oh like a person I care about or like I think sometimes I even say a friend and like that doesn't feel right but it's what I can do right now

SARAH: A friend minus a syllable

AMANDA: Yeah

SARAH: Is it at the front or the back? It could be friendship, it could be friend… I was gonna say nugget, nugget is two syllables

KAYLA: I hate

SARAH: You're welcome

KAYLA: No 

AMANDA: But like teachers aren't supposed to talk about dating

SARAH: Yeah 

AMANDA: Which it makes it hard for like a queer person to talk about their sexuality with their students unless they're like you know validated by the institution of marriage which…

SARAH: So teachers are allowed to talk about like…

AMANDA: Their wives or husbands

SARAH: So if you were straight and you had a boyfriend and a kid asked you do you have a boyfriend would you be allowed to say yes ?

AMANDA: You could it wouldn't be like the most professional thing, like I've heard of… like I have a colleague who was introducing herself to her students this year and she lives with her boyfriend and she has been with her boyfriend for like six seven years and she told… she like made a presentation about herself and like there was a picture of her and she was gonna say like oh this is my boyfriend I live with him and the teacher she was working with said you should say that that's your fiancé, because parents are gonna get mad and that was like in a fairly liberal place 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Yeah. I mean that makes sense though 

AMANDA: Yeah 

SARAH: Like I understand where that's coming from even though it sucks. 

KAYLA: Yeah like I do understand it. I also wonder like I don't know it's just so different being in college now because teachers will do like their beginning of the semester like presentation who is here, like this is who I am and I have a lot of teachers that would say like partner even if they were dating someone of like the opposite gender and…

SARAH: I had that same experience 

KAYLA: I don't know I just feel like partner is a lot of a better word especially if it's like a long-term person

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: Because boyfriend just… to me boyfriend sounds like…

SARAH: Yeah I've had teachers say partner even if they were a woman and they were with a man and they were married and they still would just say partner because…

KAYLA: It's just it's like gender neutral yeah

SARAH: Yeah and then I think that's also good because it's not making people assume that it's a straight relationship even if it is.

KAYLA: Also a fun mystery because like… My teacher was like my partner and I was like ooh it's like I want to know more

AMANDA: That word has like context to it though like once you say partner like there's a little bit of a guessing game, oh is this person trying to use inclusive language as an ally or are they doing it to kind of not totally out themselves as queer

SARAH: Yeah. Or sometimes I found people who are in a straight relationship but they're not married but they've been together for a very long time like if they don't plan to get married yeah they just call them their partner because it seems more…

AMANDA: Institutionalized 

SARAH: Yeah it seems more like permanent than like boyfriend. Like professional 

AMANDA: Yeah 

KAYLA: Like I think when my sister's fiancé was like applying for med schools and doing his um like interviews I think someone told him to call my sister his partner even though they weren't engaged yet because he was trying to ask them about like will she be able to get a job as a nurse like in this area and they were like well don't call her your girlfriend because that sounds stupid

SARAH: It sounds high school-ish. 

KAYLA: Yeah anyway this has nothing to do with…

SARAH: We got very off topic, welcome to sounds fake but okay

AMANDA: It's great to see the magic happen, I'm aware of your tangents having listened to them since October 

KAYLA: A true fan. 

SARAH: A fan right from the beginning

AMANDA: It was immediate… well not right from… It was

SARAH: From the beginning of when you became aware of it

AMANDA: Yeah it was immediately at first because I wanted to like get in good with Emily

SARAH: That's fair

AMANDA: But then I was… I don't have like a lot connections to like the queer community and like so this has actually been a great… so cool

SARAH: I didn't prior to this either and yet here we are

KAYLA: Here we all are 

SARAH: Yeah this podcast has really evolved we used to record sitting on my bed and now we have tables

KAYLA: We would sit in bed and by…

AMANDA: You've come so far 

SARAH: By the end of it we would start sitting and by the end we would just be like both laying down…

KAYLA: Now you're so… you're so far from the mic 

SARAH: I yell they can hear me, we would just like slowly slide down the bed and we'd just be like laying. Anyway, children queer people exist hello if there's any children listening first stop please probably…

AMANDA: This is for the adults that are…

SARAH: I don't know that this is like appropriate 

KAYLA: Okay here's the thing….

SARAH: Like I'm glad you're getting this information but like…

KAYLA: Here's the thing about swearing I don't like… around kids… what…

SARAH: Kayla is… it's not connected.

KAYLA: It’s attached to my head. 

SARAH: Kayla just tried to take her hair off me but it was attached to my head. Here's my thing with swearing it's like around kids I'm like oh I shouldn't swear but then I'm like…

KAYLA: Around kids I swear more

SARAH: But then i'm like why the fuck shouldn't i swear? it's just a word it doesn't mean anything, if it's like a derogatory term i wouldn't be using in the first place yeah but…

KAYLA: Around kids i find myself accidentally swearing more because i'm like thinking about it

SARAH: So i'm very torn about swearing

KAYLA: I would be a terrible teacher just because i would not be able to not swear

SARAH: What words are you allowed to say as a teacher, are you allowed  to say like that sucks?

AMANDA: I say that sucks with students

SARAH: okay 

AMANDA: mostly in like an empathetic context like if we're having like a conversation about like parental divorce or something i'll just start with a that sucks 

SARAH: That's unfortunate 

AMANDA: Yeah, anything stronger than that sucks probably not 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Like darn 

AMANDA: I try to avoid darn 

KAYLA: Wow, i could not do it 

[00:20:00]

SARAH: Yeah, do you say darn flab it?

AMANDA: I don't I usually don't I avoid all expletives 

SARAH: wow 

KAYLA: That’s so impressive 

AMANDA: Well okay the grammatical term for what i'm saying would be like i think technically ejaculations like i…

KAYLA: Wow

AMANDA: But i don't like that word, you know

SARAH: I don’t either

KAYLA: Mouth ejaculations

SARAH: That's not any better 

KAYLA: Aren't those just like words 

AMANDA: Hopefully any children that were listening listened to your first warning to stop

SARAH: Hey hey hey kayla go climb out the window and blow off the roof

KAYLA: I would love to, it's probably colder out there and i'm sweating. 

SARAH: Also i hope you have all heard the birds my window is open because it's hot so

KAYLA: Maybe Zeke will drive by, you'll hear him

SARAH: Oh my god okay. anyway 

AMANDA: If you would like to you know get the conversation back on track i guess…

SARAH: I would like to.

AMANDA: Get me started on something

SARAH: Okay

KAYLA: We have a list

SARAH: Okay. yeah Kayla you do it. 

KAYLA: No 

SARAH: I'm stressed 

KAYLA: No 

AMANDA: Is the list overwhelming?

SARAH: Everything is overwhelming to me

KAYLA: Have you met her?

AMANDA: Okay something that is a big issue like especially at the elementary school level which is like where i plan to work is like thinking about transgender students, sexual orientation doesn't come into play as much until like a student is like 10. And i might teach fifth grade but like you're aware of your gender identity much earlier 

SARAH: Yes

AMANDA: As research shows and 

SARAH: Some of us were in college before they knew anything about their sexuality

AMANDA: I mean same so

SARAH: Nice 

AMANDA: Mostly because of repression.

KAYLA: But we love repression

AMANDA: Do we?

KAYLA: It would be great if sex education was like good

SARAH: If sex education was anything other than heterosexuality abstinence only 

KAYLA: You know what really gets me this is… i'll get back on topic after this i promise is that like men know nothing about periods 

SARAH: Yes

KAYLA: Recently i was talking to my boyfriend and he was like what's menopause and i was like hello 

AMANDA: Oh my god

KAYLA: Hello

SARAH: He's a CS major

AMANDA: I can do a whole other pod about…

SARAH: It's just like he's a smart boy 

KAYLA: He's a smart boy but he's a dumb dumb boy

AMANDA: Well society doesn't require men to know much about women

KAYLA: It’s like I can’t be that mad at him, because it’s not his fault,  because who was gonna teach him 

SARAH: His sister is way older than him

AMANDA: Maybe his schools should teach him

KAYLA: Well yeah his schools…

AMANDA: At public education

KAYLA: In California too you think they would be…

AMANDA: You know California has had some like overall pretty good on education but like it's had some sketchy…

SARAH: Right now it's not doing so good all the teachers are on strike something about teachers if they run out of like sick days, they have to pay for their own service

AMANDA: They have to pay for their own service. Yeah. i was seeing that. my beef is about how crappily teachers are treated 

SARAH: That's a beef

AMANDA: Yeah well that's for the beef part yeah anyway transgender children…

SARAH: Trans kids

AMANDA: My biggest pet peeve is when i'm in a classroom and the teacher running the classroom does some sort of activity that separates boys and girls into groups. Like anything, like saying like especially ones where it makes the boys and girls competitive with one another, but like even just saying like okay all the boys read the sentence now all the girls read the sentence like it makes you immediately identify with one camp or the other and then what gets worse is if it's like i'm going to look and see which group is ready first the boys or the girls and the group that's ready and quiet first is the one that gets to go out to recess first and it just… it just puts all these like oppositional views into kids heads about gender when we know yeah when like 

SARAH: It's binary and competitive 

KAYLA: Yeah i feel like that's this age that kids start being like self-conscious about like who their friends are too like once kids get a certain age it's like cooties and like

SARAH: Like how when i was in first grade all my friends were guys and then after that all girls yeah…

AMANDA: The transition is like first and second grade you can see a lot of like cohesive social groups a lot of like heterogeneity and who you're hanging out heterogeneity yeah and who you're hanging out with and then like by third and fourth grade like you start digging into these factions by like race by gender like 

SARAH: Make it homogeneous make it gay 

KAYLA: Yeah third or fourth grade is like i used to be like in elementary school i was like cool and then fourth grade is when like clique started to happen and i was like oh i'm not cool 

SARAH: I’m not cool 

KAYLA: And now my hair is frizzy and i'm ugly and i have no friends

SARAH: Yeah that'll do yeah

KAYLA: It sure did

SARAH: My trick was just hanging out right around the middle the whole time, I never caused any ripples

KAYLA: That's smart

SARAH: And when someone tells you your scarf is ugly you don't tell on them and then when someone else tells on them and then you're like i didn't want this attention it's my birthday.

KAYLA: One time a girl called my leotard ugly and i told on her and she got in trouble

SARAH: I still remember exactly who was involved i remember i remember the person who this was told to it was very scarring i just wanted to enjoy my birthday and i was gonna let it go because i didn't want attention and you know what anyway 

KAYLA: Now you're getting extra attention because you're just like telling the world about

SARAH: I'm just mad about it, first of all why would you tell a fourth grader that their scarf is ugly i know it was ugly okay. At the time i thought it was cute, in hindsight it was hideous.

AMANDA: Well most things that kids wear i say this with all the love in the world an appreciation for everything that kids love but most fashion choices by children are just out there

SARAH: Has my sister told you about my purple sweater 

AMANDA: No 

KAYLA: Has she told you how Sarah would wear tights under her pants 

AMANDA: Yes

KAYLA:  Because she couldn’t socks

AMANDA:  I did learn about that

SARAH: One of these days you should ask my sister about my purple sweater 

AMANDA: Right

SARAH: For about a year, a year and a half i wore this purple sweater it was a zip up sweater so i could wear it like over shirts i wore it every single day. And I had a fuzzy hood

AMANDA: Oh my God. Why did Julie let you do that?

SARAH: Well, Julie didn't want to let me do that. But…

AMANDA: Julie probably had to pick her battles 

SARAH: Julie tried very hard and eventually it got too dirty because i wore it literally every day and she was like Sarah no more and i was very upset you know, how i wrote a book when i was in like second grade 

KAYLA: No

SARAH: I wrote a book, didn't we all… it was a fantasy book there were swords involved yeah…

KAYLA: Didn’t we all like write a book? in like second grade i wrote one about like people with like elemental powers

SARAH: I would… i would like my family would be sitting in the family room watching tv together and i would sit in the den on the desktop computer…

 KAYLA: Just writing your book 

SARAH: Typing out my book like nights like like it took a long it i printed it out i put it in a little binder i have it at home somewhere, i had…

KAYLA: Can we do a podcast you doing a reading of your book please?

SARAH: I had my mom take a picture of me to put on the back of the book you know a little about the author…

KAYLA: With your purple sweater

SARAH: And i was wearing purple sweater 

KAYLA: Can you… can we please do a reading 

SARAH: It was called Aven Swords

KAYLA: Aven Swords

SARAH: I should have known then that I was ace. Aven was just a word I made up because I liked making things up 

KAYLA: Vote now on your phones if we're gonna do a live reading of this, the answer is yes anyway off topic again 

SARAH: Anyway

KAYLA: I have a question

AMANDA: Yes

KAYLA: So will you teach younger kids so maybe it wouldn't like come up as much but like do they teach you in school or have you like read anything about like what to do if kids are getting like bullied about their gender or like sexuality or anything like

AMANDA: So like the best…  the best answers I’ve gotten on that have been like just putting in efforts to education like honestly that's where like the oh bring in a book and read it aloud thing comes in a lot which reading a storybook can't solve all the world's problems 

SARAH: Yeah. If only it could 

AMANDA: Yeah

SARAH: I would read so many books to Donald Trump, I would be like hey Don you'd also… you know why it’s also probably because he's illiterate and you'd have to read to him 

AMANDA: Oh my god you're so right.

SARAH: Roasted 

AMANDA: But I… um you know that's honestly where I would start just to get a conversation going the important thing is like it can't be a conversation of like we all need to talk about Kevin who was once a girl but is now a boy and how you're treating him like that is traumatic for Kevin. Um but you know it's really important to be an ally like there's some honestly there's a lot of things you can lay down like foundationally at like the beginning of the school year i think it's more important to be proactive in those kinds of situations like doing a lesson on like we call people exactly what they want to be called. And that goes for like you know people who are transgender and non-binary but also people who have really long ethnic names for example and like there's a book I know that works for like there's this girl who has an Arabic name Yassine Adine and all the kids make fun of her for it but then she learns how to teach everyone her name and everyone learns how to say it exactly and then that leads into an activity where everyone teaches their name exactly how it's supposed to be said 

SARAH: It's like how Asritha does as her last name is Vinnakota like Minnesota but she told me it was spelled like that and it's not… it's pronounced like that, not spelled like that

KAYLA: It’s not spelled like that

AMANDA: But anyway what if you have that kind of norm in your classroom if you know if they're insisting on calling a student by a name that they don't appreciate you can go back to that norm saying like remember we learned 

SARAH: Yeah 

[00:30:00]

AMANDA: We call students… we call everyone exactly what they want to be called 

SARAH: Yeah well because it's like I was going to be like well what happens if like a trans student like starts going by a different name and then I was like okay when I was in elementary school the… our… one of our neighbors his name was AJ and he went by AJ and then one year he was like I want to be called Alex now because his name was like actually Alexander and the J was like his middle name or something and then so we were like all right you can be Alex now and then the next year he was like I want to be AJ again and we were like okay. But sometimes I accidentally called him Alex and or I accidentally called him AJ and then I’d be like sorry you want to be called Alex now Alex 

AMANDA: That's also something that the teacher can model, like thinking about like I know that you've… I know that you've changed your name recently like I am like I’m remembering to call you this right now and like students notice that sort of thing and i'd say like from just like modeling it and showing what students what it looks like about like half the students will pick it up and do it themselves also teaching about preferred pronouns  

SARAH: Yeah I was going to ask about that

AMANDA: It's like an opportunity, if you see it as such because it's an opportunity to teach grammar because 

SARAH: Yeah we don't miss grammar 

AMANDA: Yeah especially you know elementary school teachers who are building language skills because you know if you're talking about how someone prefers certain pronouns you have to talk about what pronouns are you have to talk about like when we would use he and him as a pronoun and when and that she and hers can work if you're referring to someone who identifies as a woman or they and them if if they're identifying as non-binary or if they're choosing to for some other reason like and it's teaching that those words grammatically work interchangeably but they depend on the subject you're referring to that is a lesson in grammar which is very exciting 

KAYLA: That is so exciting 

SARAH: They and them is not always referring to plural people. 

AMANDA: I am so for the movement of using they and them for singular non-gendered 

SARAH: Absolutely. We already do it, we already do it, if you don't know the gender of someone you say they. 

KAYLA: Recently someone was like but they is like plural and i was like you shut your fucking mouth 

SARAH: Sometimes at the writing center where I work people will have like a thing where it's like he slash she and I’m like…

KAYLA: That's so nasty

SARAH: I'm like… do I want like I want to say something about this but also it's like it can get touchy a little bit well the other day I got very lucky it was someone who was writing a like personal statement for an application and there was a character count and they were over and I was like they is fewer characters than he slash she.

KAYLA: Got them. Wow. That's wild

AMANDA: So I have a question

SARAH: I have an answer

AMANDA: Do you? 

SARAH: I just put up a fake microphone as if we don't have a microphone

AMANDA: You put a fake microphone right up in front of the real one 

SARAH: I know it got in front of the real mic

AMANDA: But anyway so as I was preparing like there is a section in my lesson plan about like talking about asexuality and how it relates to like elementary school but like I’m not an asexual person, I’m wondering like what you would have wished you had learned about asexuality when you were in elementary school or what messages about sexuality you wish you had gotten?

SARAH: I think the thing i wish most that had happened was that it wasn't so assumed that everyone would have this future of like marriage and kids like i've mentioned this before on the podcast but i didn't realize until 11th grade that it was an option to not do that like i on like…

AMANDA: On some level

SARAH: Like I understood, I had aunts who weren't married and have kids but like for me it was like assumed that it's like well of course I’m gonna get married and have kids because that is what most people around me do and several of the people around me who don't do that would like to do that it's just not the situation they're in and that's not the situation for everyone that I knew but at least to my knowledge I have no idea but it wasn't until i was in 11th grade that I realized like wait oh what and so I think just teaching kids from a younger age that like you may not want to get married you may not want to like go on dates you might not want to…  i'm trying to remember what we learned about in sex ed like what we learned about sex…

KAYLA: I can I don't remember anything of sex ed. Im convinced that I didn't have sex ed, I remember it… I don't remember anything about it

SARAH: I remember we learned about like your period and stuff and it took so much longer for us than the guys and they got to watch a movie while we were learning about periods and we were upset

KAYLA: I know the boys learned about sex and I know that it was like I know like we learned about sex too and like our you know segregated girl section…

SARAH: Also the fact that it's segregated by gender like I get that it's like people with uteruses need to understand about menstruation

KAYLA: But like what if why couldn't they teach everyone about menstruation and everything at the same time because then you understand everything

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: But it was definitely presented as like one day you're going to want to have a baby, one day you’re going to feel certain ways towards boys and like that's problematic for a number of reasons that i don't need to explain to your particular audience because they already know

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Yeah I'm convinced I never went through sex ed, I don't remember it, I don't know if I blocked it out, if i was like sick that day but like I don't think it ever happened

SARAH: I remember we had it in fourth grade and then we had it again in seventh grade in health class and in seventh grade there was a kid who we like watched some video i think it had to do with sex i don't actually remember like what the details of it were but he like got so like he got like sick from it because he was just like…

KAYLA: That’s so funny 

SARAH: And that's really all i remember and i dropped my highlighter. Oh those are the things I remember.

KAYLA: Good 

SARAH: ADHD man it gets you 

KAYLA: Yeah i feel like it would just be good if yeah people were like you know you might feel this way but you might not yeah 

SARAH: Yeah 

AMANDA: I see the teacher's job as like widening students'… like ideas of who they could be one day like instead of like keeping students on like a narrow path like even just not talking about like love and relationships as like inevitable like talking about like you know you're all scientists like doing the science project you were scientists today or like mathematicians like what do you think about this like focusing on like what they can do rather than like what they might end up having in their future like that we consider to be so valuable as marriage like I don't know

SARAH: And that's also just along the same lines of like encouraging young girls that like you can be like you can do any career, you can date or not date any person of any gender all of this is open for all of you. you could become a unicorn anything could happen 

AMANDA: Yeah I had a student once who was like so you're gonna become a teacher and I was like yeah and she said after that are you gonna be…. like after that you'll become a parent right? And I was like oh that's a jump and yeah and I was like why would I become a parent and she was like my mom says that like every woman like has a baby and like and I was like well you know I don't want to have a baby like I just like flat out told her that and she didn't know what to do with it she's like why and I'm like because I want to think about being a good teacher like you know or I want to do this or like  part of it is modeling it with yourself of course like if you have the ambition to like get married and have kids that's totally okay but like that's not necessarily the narrative that gets hidden.

SARAH: Well and I think a lot of times too teachers tend to follow stereotypes because like they're like oh well more women are teachers than men because women are like emotional and they like children and then they are teachers and then they love kids so of course they're gonna have kids of their own and it's like that is true of some people but I think it's important to show examples of how that is not true for everyone and that is what my 11th grade AP Lang teacher did for me and that is why I'm here folks it's not really but but she was the one who made me realize like wait I can just not have kids like I that's an option yeah what

AMANDA: Teachers can just use their summers to travel if they want 

SARAH: That's what she did yeah, she could afford to travel on a teacher's salary because she didn't have kids 

KAYLA: That is pretty wild

AMANDA: Yeah 

SARAH: And I was like, that is sick. She was also just amazing

AMANDA: That's what my possibly lesbian great great aunt did, you know back in the day, she just never got married taught during the year and just you know went to other countries and painted

SARAH: That’s great

AMANDA: We have her paintings all over our house

SARAH: That's great 

AMANDA: Now I should talk about her with my students you know

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: I don't know. Just letting like giving examples of like many different examples of the life lives they can live yeah which includes showing them that queer people exist like I don't think that it's ever a teacher's place to say like oh you might be queer but like it is… it is the teacher's responsibility to let them know what all of their options are and like the abstract 

SARAH: And be like it's okay if you are this way or if you're this way all of these ways to be are fine.

[00:40:00]

AMANDA: Yeah. And like that's just so important to do like I spend okay I spend so much time thinking about statistics in terms of like how many students are queer so like one in ten people identify as LGBTQ at some point, IA plus, inclusivity, at some point in their lifetimes and like research shows that in like millennial generations and like younger that like it's even more people identifying as queer yeah so like in a 30-person classroom that's three of your students even if they don't know it yet like you have a responsibility to make sure that like when they're ready for that self-discovery that they're not going to have to like fight through all of this like social bullshit that they've learned to just get to who they are like that's my goal as a teacher is at least to give them some positive messages

SARAH: Or if you're in my family there's like a 50-50 chance you're queer.

AMANDA: I'm so… oh my god, there's like not an infrastructure for queerness in my family like it's really refreshing to be around yours.

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: Honestly

SARAH: They're nice people we support it. Yeah, I see I think of statistics like that sometimes but they're way more depressing I think of statistics of like oh one in like four or five women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime

KAYLA: Why would you… Sarah

AMANDA: I was thinking because I wanted to bring up…

SARAH: Those are the statistics that I think about…

KAYLA: They’re sad. Stop it

SARAH: Well I know but like…

AMANDA: I want to talk about like statistics of transgender violence which I don't know the numbers of but I know that…

SARAH: They're bad

AMANDA: Like the likelihood of a trans person especially like a trans woman of color getting murdered it's just insane…

SARAH: I want to say something around 50%

AMANDA: Yeah 

SARAH: Not something like they're gonna get murdered but like I know like being suicidal something like that

AMANDA: Yeah

KAYLA: I was listening to a podcast and it was an Argentinian?

SARAH: Yes, Argentinian 

KAYLA: Argentinian trans woman who was a sex worker and had to like leave Argentina because like everyone died like the Argentinian government has given money back to trans women they're sex workers because that's how bad they were treated like the government actually was like wow we've really fucked up here's some money like that's how bad it was

AMANDA: Because here's the thing

SARAH: I'm ready

AMANDA: No one is… no one is born being hateful and violent, no one is

SARAH: No

AMANDA: It's taught at some point. And so like queer education is just as important for the nine out of ten like straight children in your classroom because if you don’t intervene in the social messages they’re receiving like they could continue to perpetuate those horrible acts of violence like someone is doing it and that person was at some point in a classroom

SARAH: Yeah. Well, it's like how like statistics of like racist events and like homophobic events and stuff it's like at like for people who are more highly educated it tends to happen less often because education has to do with how you view other people unless you're really rich in which case i don't know

AMANDA: It has to be careful education like it's not enough to just put the book with queer representation in a student's hand

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: Like there's this book called Drama it's a graphic novel for like young adults but like a lot of my students were reading it and it has like… it has like a scene where like two boys kiss and like it's not a big deal um and like that is a powerful message that it's just part of the book part of the drama that middle schoolers face but like not something super notable

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: But like… 

SARAH: The drama is not that it was two boys, the drama is that it's like a relationship

AMANDA: Yeah exactly, but one day I saw like a crowd of students laughing over it because it wasn't enough to put the book in their hand like they needed guidance on how to make sense of it. 

SARAH: Yeah, children are so impressionable

AMANDA: They are

SARAH: Like they… there's… you can just mold them into a little racist person or a little not racist person 

AMANDA: A little simplistic but admittedly why i took up the teaching profession

SARAH: They're like little clay things you can do claymation with your children

KAYLA: I'm glad you're not having children ever i wouldn't trust you to mold a child

AMANDA: But like even in my third grade classroom like kids were using like you're gay as like an insult I was like… I was… the first time it happened in my classroom like I actually had to step out because like it's just like personally yeah you know hard for me and like I like I you develop a thicker skin but like yeah after like that one that time i started addressing this like like what did you just say? like oh it doesn't sound like you're using that word accurately. like what do you mean when you say you're gay?

SARAH: Do you mean that you're happy?

AMANDA: Yeah, do you mean that you're happy? or you're trying to tell them something mean

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: Well you should use a different word then because gay doesn't mean, gay doesn't mean stupid

SARAH: Yeah 

AMANDA: Yeah. 

SARAH: You're welcome to be mean in my classroom just don't call people gay

KAYLA: I didn't realize kids still said that

AMANDA: That's a different issue but you know

SARAH: I see when i was… when i was a youth i never really heard that i was i was oblivious to a lot of things as a child and it's very possible it just went over my head

KAYLA: Same

SARAH: But i just don't… like to me when i hear people be like oh that's gay it makes me think of like the ‘90s, but it's just… that's not the case yeah like it's still very much prevalent 

AMANDA: It's lesser i'd say but like i also heard eight-year-olds screaming that at each other across the classroom so also screaming should never happen in the classroom but you know

KAYLA: Inside voices 

AMANDA: My third grade placement was wild 

SARAH: What grade… i feel like i've asked you this before but i forgot the answer what grade would you ideally want to teach? 

AMANDA: I want to teach fourth grade because i love the books that they are capable of accessing 

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: And I want to bond with them over the said books, there are other reasons, you can get more into like higher level thinking skills 

SARAH: Yeah 

AMANDA: Um but you know younger ones are cute, honestly i'm probably… i just have a feeling that i'm gonna get hired for like a kindergarten position this year and you know i'll survive somehow 

SARAH: Yeah. That does sound kind of like a horror show dealing with that many small children. See i like dealing with that age of kids when you're teaching them gymnastics, if i were trying to teach them like how to read or like math, no.

AMANDA: Honestly the main point of kindergarten is to teach kids how to do school 

KAYLA: Yeah

AMANDA: Which you know…

SARAH: It sounds exhausting

AMANDA: Yeah

SARAH: I feel like being a first grade teacher would be difficult because depending on what their kindergarten situation was at least where i went to school i already knew how to read from kindergarten and so like i went to first grade and they were like it's time to learn how read and i was like i already know how to read and like i would not want to deal with that like discrepancy 

AMANDA: Yeah those differences in ability you know the only way to deal with them is to like do small group instruction like differentiate an instruction and it takes a lot of extra planning but it is the right thing to do because like if you're looking at education from an equity perspective you give every student what they need to grow yeah

SARAH: Yeah i just thought of Michelle Obama’s book where she was…

KAYLA: Michelle Obama

AMANDA: Was that the fifth harmony song oh my god i love Boss my my undergrad friends and i have like a… we know the synchronized dance to Boss and…

SARAH: So impressive

AMANDA: You know whenever we get like drunk we play the song and still do it

SARAH: That's wild

KAYLA: It's incredible

SARAH: But in the Michelle Obama book in her memoir she was talking about how when she was in like third or fourth i think she was just in a classroom i think it was like a split classroom that was third and fourth which i would never want to teach a split classroom

AMANDA: So i don't understand how to do that

SARAH: I don't it doesn't make sense to me 

AMANDA: My teacher education program did not prepare me to do that, it's a good program but i have no idea how that would work

SARAH: Yeah there was one of those at my school and i was like how anyway and it was like random too it wasn't like…

AMANDA: These students are like ready for this particular educational…

SARAH: Yeah anyway at least i think it was random, basically in the book she the teacher she had in that class was just could not control the classroom and she was like learning nothing and like she was a very smart kid but like she was going to get nothing out of this class and so i believe it was her grandmother who marched up to the school and was like…

AMANDA: Oh right i remember this

SARAH: Yeah it was like you're putting my kid in a different class and they were like no we're not and she was like yes you are yeah and she was like and Michelle Obama was like i'm very grateful that someone actually stuck up for me because a lot of people didn't get stuck up for and they got stuck in that class all year and they learned nothing and it hurt them 

AMANDA: Every kid needs an advocate

SARAH: Yeah

AMANDA: Whether it's… every kid needs an advocate for like their whole self like their learning their well-being yeah their you know their gender identity their sexual identity getting you know all of it their racial identity 

SARAH: Their favorite type of potatoes

AMANDA: Yeah

SARAH: Support them. Stop coughing this is a podcast?

KAYLA: What?

SARAH: Do you have anything else that you want to add i feel like we've at least hit a little bit on all of the stuff?

KAYLA: Yeah, on all the things

AMANDA: Yeah. I think so, so honestly if you google LGBTQ plus books like there's not a million out there but like there are a lot of good ones 

SARAH: There's probably more than there were 20 years ago 

AMANDA: Yeah there's like whole listicles that suggest them and if you look at four or five you'll see which ones keep coming up and like those are the ones you should start with but you can explore others and…

SARAH: Did you just say listicle?

AMANDA: Listicle like a list article

KAYLA: You don't know what a listicle is? like Buzzfeed, listicle, you don't know what a listicle is?

SARAH: I've never heard that word before 

KAYLA: Hello

SARAH: I'm familiar with the concept 

KAYLA: Listicle 

AMANDA: Yeah but you know those are a resource to you i'm also always open to like books about queer representation because there will be many in my classroom so

[00:50:00]

SARAH: And if you find that there aren't books about certain identities that you wish there were books about write them

AMANDA: That's a great point 

SARAH: Like i know it's it's annoying to be like well it's your responsibility to like bring it into the world but like someone has got to do it. 

KAYLA: Someone has to do it.  

SARAH: You know.

KAYLA: I just remembered, so i was building out our resource page today painstaking and there was… freak, i forgot what it's called. It's called ace inclusion guide for high schools it's already on our website under one of the sections of our resource guide but it's a free like pdf book that's just uh so it's for high schools not for younger kids but it's designed to give educators administrators and student leaders uh knowledge for making like inclusive space for ace students 

SARAH: Well i feel like to in terms of dealing with asexuality that's not something that's going to come up younger necessarily like it's a good thing to be like you know you don't… you're not necessarily gonna get like being open on that front when they're little but it's not going to be probably till late middle school high school that it's really gonna come to the forefront of like hey don't be a dick yeah so yeah

AMANDA: Also there are there are guides for how to start like queer centered groups like gender and sexuality alliances online and i've been doing some research on them because like i've been writing an op-ed for like one of my classes about like why queer teachers should start GSAs um but anyway like those i found to be really useful resources and there's like at least two websites with them on there when you google GSA so check those out

SARAH: You dig it? i like the new title of GSAs

AMANDA: Yeah it's so inclusive

SARAH: They used to be gay straight alliances but that's just…

KAYLA: That ain't it

SARAH: But gender and sexuality they kept the same the letters

AMANDA: The letters worked out so well and it includes every identity that might be under that umbrella. Like it rocks

SARAH: Truly wonderful 

AMANDA: I'm here right for it

SARAH: Do we do beef or poll first, we do the poll first

AMANDA: Okay i have poll ideas

SARAH: Oh man, so this is so great.

AMANDA: So okay, what do you wish you had learned about your gender or sexual identity when you were a child?

KAYLA: I think that's a very good 

AMANDA: Because i would like to know so that i can become the best teacher possible

SARAH: Help Amanda become the best teacher possible, tell us or if you or just like gender and sexuality in general, things that you just didn't know. I couldn't remember the name of Michelle Obama's book it's sitting right here, Becoming

AMANDA: Becoming, that's hilarious…

SARAH: We use it to pop up the microphone.

KAYLA: Did you not… oh i saw it

SARAH: Yeah i was looking for it over there and it was not there. Yeah i think that's a good poll, thank you. Do we want to do it… do we have any ideas for secondary or tertiaries or fourthieries

AMANDA: I also have a secondary poll

SARAH: Hit me with it 

AMANDA: What children's books or young adult books do you know that have good LGBTQ plus representation?

SARAH: That's exciting

AMANDA: So i can build my library

SARAH: Help Amanda build her library, help her help the children of the state of Michigan listen Betsy Devos is from here  Amanda has to balance it out we got to balance the evil with some good

AMANDA: I'm gonna take Betsy's job one day

SARAH: Do it

AMANDA: That's the dream 

SARAH: That what i like to hear. All right so that's our poll, what is everyone's beef of the week?

KAYLA: Uh my beef of the week is that i took a red eye last night i guess 

SARAH: Yeah how was your first time flying by yourself, you were very nervous

KAYLA: I was very scared but it went very well, I could have told you but it’s me like what do you expect. I left California at uh 9 p.m and i arrived in Michigan at 7 a.m 

SARAH: Oh spicy, that's why you looked so tired

KAYLA: Yeah. I got home when our roommate Miranda was leaving for work

SARAH: Oh spicy

KAYLA: Yeah so that's my beef of the week is that I just… myself

SARAH: Do you have a beef of the week Amanda?

AMANDA: I do

SARAH: I warned her ahead of time to make sure that she came prepared because…

KAYLA: Because we never are

SARAH: We never are

AMANDA: My beef of the week is that i'm working very very hard to maybe get a job that at best will pay me like 43,000 dollars and that's because I have a master's degree otherwise under 40,000 dollars  is the norm

SARAH: I just thought about how much you paid for your degrees compared to how much you're gonna make, that's not a nice comparison 

AMANDA: The salary…

SARAH: And you have in-state tuition

AMANDA: Yeah, the salaries of teachers are reflective of the respect of our… that our profession gets from society which is does not match how valuable teachers are to society

KAYLA: Just like how much work teachers do like…

SARAH: It's so much work 

KAYLA: It’s not even just during school hours like you have to do lesson planning you have to grade at home

AMANDA: And you don't get paid for that time and you do it anyway and people expect to do it anyway because you care which of course I actually do care and I'm going to do

SARAH: Well just because you care just doesn't mean…

AMANDA: Teachers pay for so much stuff out of pocket like I remember the lake shore the store that my mom was telling you about that has all the good teacher supplies I remember going with my mom to that store which was like 40 minutes away from our house yeah just so that she could buy out of her own pocket things for her classroom because my mother is a teacher, it's crazy. And we do it because it matters but it like we should be compensated for that time and for the you know all the effort and resources we're putting in

SARAH: Also teachers at private schools get paid less

KAYLA: What?

SARAH: They get…

AMANDA: They're not under the same regulations 

SARAH: And so I was talking to my aunt about this who is also a teacher there's a lot of teachers and engineers in my family

KAYLA: And gays

SARAH: And gays. And she was saying how like she never even applied to any private teaching schools private teaching positions because like around here even the most like supposedly prestigious schools that are very prestigious there are very good schools but their teachers a lot of times are the teachers that are working there because they couldn't get jobs elsewhere and like the reason the school is still so prestigious is because they have such high standards not because they have such high standards of teaching yeah 

KAYLA: That’s awful. 

SARAH: Yeah 

AMANDA: So that's my beef 

SARAH: Good 

AMANDA: Teachers should be respected

SARAH: I have two beefs, the first beef has to do with the golden ratio, Riley one of the dogs the most recent acquisition he has something wrong with him that has to do with Lyme disease and kidney failure and I was listening to the podcast today because he was at the vet yesterday to find out what was going on, the prognosis is not good he 

KAYLA: I'm very sorry

SARAH: Yeah basically every dog who gets what he has dies 

KAYLA: Good

AMANDA: That’s sad 

SARAH: And it's usually within a couple months sometimes it's like a little over a year but he's like… he's not very old, he's like two or three years

KAYLA: Oh god

SARAH: And they only got him like last fall and that's sad 

KAYLA: That’s so sad

SARAH: My other beef of the week is simultaneously as it was last week a beef and a positive thing what… did we decide what we're gonna call the positive things? 

KAYLA: So we had some suggestions juice…

AMANDA: Oh the juice,  i'm pro juice by the way, i decided this when i was preparing to come here

SARAH: I don't… like as as a concept i'm not into juice just in general 

AMANDA: Like the beverage?

KAYLA: You don't like beef well….

SARAH: Yeah exactly 

AMANDA: It's like juicing up like you get energy like positive things give you energy 

KAYLA: See, Sarah we have to, for the memes 

SARAH: God okay okay my other beef and my….

KAYLA: Juicy beef

SARAH: Juice. Juicy juicy beef 

KAYLA: Juicy beef 

SARAH: Is that i have a friend who graduated with me in my graduating class…

AMANDA: Of high school? 

SARAH: Of college, sorry

AMANDA: Oh so recent 

SARAH: We're college graduates remember 

KAYLA: You're not 

SARAH: I'm not you are, but she just the other day started her first day of work as a writer's PA for a tv show and my beef is…

AMANDA: You’re jealous?

SARAH: That i'm jealous because i know that i'm not going to get that lucky with my first hollywood job because like for me starting as a writer's pa would be like the dream you're still an assistant but like it's the best kind of assistant, it's very very hard to have that be your first job

KAYLA: Yeah but like she did

AMANDA: Shoot for the stars 

SARAH: Well most… she got it in a weird way like usually to be a writer's PA they want you to have experience being an assistant before then so i'm probably not going to get that lucky but also it's juice because i'm very proud of her and excited for her

KAYLA: It is exciting

SARAH: And it's it's just so exciting for her

AMANDA: I like how you're finding the juice and the beef in that

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I am obsessed with that. It's both juice and beef 

AMANDA: She finds the juice in the beef

SARAH: My other juice is the tv show that i did mention earlier accidentally the other two i watched the whole series and it's… this has just kind of turned into this is what happened last week it's like Sarah's recommendations

KAYLA: We can't… We don't have time for another set of recommendation Sarah

SARAH: Oh no oh no i know i know it's just that that's kind of what my juice is going to turn into

KAYLA: Okay that's fair

SARAH: So the other two…

AMANDA: The things you want to recommend give you juice

SARAH: Yeah 

AMANDA: That's fair 

SARAH: That’s all. What's your juice? You don't even have juice? Amanda what's your juice 

AMANDA: My juice is that i impulse bought two amazing board games pandemic…

SARAH: I don't know why…

KAYLA: Such a good game

SARAH: It was positive 

AMANDA: Pandemic and betrayal at the house on the hill

KAYLA: Also a good game

AMANDA: Both of which i want to show to your family

SARAH: Okay 

AMANDA: Because i think they will enjoy them 

KAYLA: You might have played betrayal before, because I've played it with Nathan before

AMANDA: It's a good mixture of like luck and role play.

AMANDA: It's really fun 

SARAH: That's fun

AMANDA: I'm pretty bad at it every time… like you can't really be bad at it because part of it is luck but like every game i play i'm the first one that gets killed

SARAH: That sucks 

AMANDA: And it's like really annoying because okay so one time i got killed because of my speed and then i picked a character with the best possible speed and then i got killed because of something else so i'm trying to adapt but i have bad luck

SARAH: I don't know what any of that means but i'm sorry…

AMANDA: We're gonna play and you know…

SARAH: Sounds good Kayla do you have juice now?

KAYLA: My juice is i'm playing D&D again with my friends tomorrow, we're trying to think of podcast names to turn into podcasts…

SARAH: Yeah Perry texted me about our mics i think

KAYLA: Well we're gonna well no because i'm moving so we won't have my mic there forever

SARAH: You sure won't .  

KAYLA: Anyway…

SARAH: Are you using your mic for another podcast

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: For one week?

KAYLA: For one week. Yes. I'm cheating on you. Podcast style. Sorry

SARAH: Is it at least going to be a part of our new media company?

KAYLA: I'll talk to perry if we're gonna start a network

SARAH: Sounds fake media 

KAYLA: I'll talk to Perry.  We’ll see. anyway that's my juice

SARAH: Oh your juice is just D&D again?

KAYLA: Was that mine last week?

SARAH: Yes

KAYLA: I don't know a lot going on for me i was on vacation but now it's over so i'm post-vacation sad 

SARAH: Okay

KAYLA: So like my juice is i had a good vacation

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: So my beef is it's over and i'm sad

SARAH: All right

KAYLA: So like

SARAH: There you have it 

KAYLA: Not a lot going on for me right now

SARAH: Yeah cool you can find all of those things on our twitter @soundsfakepod, soundsfakepod.com, there's just too many social medias i can't name them all 

KAYLA: Also so i'm building out the resource page there's a bunch on there right now if you have resources or like ace people content that you like…

SARAH:  Hit us up

KAYLA:  Like shoot us a message.

SARAH: Before i go into the patrons, Amanda do you have anything you'd like to promote?

AMANDA: Yes i would like to promote Amanda's future classroom because we were just talking about the gigantic financial investment that teachers have to make

KAYLA: It’s true 

AMANDA: I am accepting all books appropriate for kindergartners through eighth graders i don't have a way for you to get them to me yet but if you feel some move to give a pro-queer teacher books please do or school supplies or money for school supplies of…

SARAH: Should they contact you or should they contact us?

AMANDA: Can they contact you and then we figure it out? 

SARAH: Yes 

AMANDA: Okay.

SARAH: Yes. They can contact us 

AMANDA: Okay so contact… 

SARAH: Send us a dm send us an email 

AMANDA: Yes please help me better the children of the state of Michigan and America and also help me get into a classroom if you have recommendations for places to teach that are queer friendly in the midwestern region 

KAYLA: I don't know we have some teaching people in I don’t know if they have graduated yet. Or if they are

SARAH: Does your teaching certificate work outside of Michigan?

AMANDA: It can be transferred like through testing processes and fees 

SARAH: Yeah because i know that gets complicated because you have to get it for the state you live in and then if you want to move…

AMANDA: Yes. It sucks. And i would ideally like to stay close which is like southeastern Michigan but it depends on who will hire me

SARAH: Hit up Marquette Michigan 

AMANDA: No 

SARAH: For no those of you don't know that's pretty far away…

AMANDA: No hate, it's just very far from people i want to be around @Emily

SARAH: All right so if you have any resources fun times words of encouragement for future teacher Amanda let us know. We also have a Patreon if you want to support us patreon.com/soundsfakepod. our $2 patrons are Keith McBlayne, Roxanne, Alice is in Space, Anonymous, Nathan Dennison, and Mariah Walter. $5, Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, like Minnesota but not spelled like Minnesota, Austin Le, Drew Finny, Perry Fiero, my Aunt Jeanie, Dee, Benjamin Ibarra, and Megan Rowell, whose name we've been pronouncing correctly and Quinn pollock. Our 10 dollar patrons are  Kevin and Tessa, @dirtyunclekevin, and at Tessa_M_K, Sarah Jones, @EternalLolly, Arkness, who would like to promote Trevor Project, fifteen dollars, are Nathaniel J. White, Nathaniel J. White, nathanieljwhitedesigns.com and anonymous who has chosen not to promote anything this week

KAYLA: Oh well

AMANDA: Such a statement

SARAH: I asked him and they said i don't want to do anything this week so 

AMANDA: Jesus Christ.

SARAH: Thanks for your money anonymous. 

AMANDA: You’re a sassy person 

SARAH: Um thanks for listening thank you so much for joining us Amanda

AMANDA: Thank you for having me 

SARAH: At first when my sister brought this up I was like is my sister pushing you into being on my podcast 

AMANDA: Oh yeah because I was definitely planning on bringing this up like months from now…

SARAH: Yes

AMANDA: Well like one day… you're trying to end the podcast but I'm gonna tell a story 

KAYLA: It’s okay. This is always how it ends 

SARAH: Welcome to this pod 

AMANDA: So one morning recently i just told Emily you know i have an idea for the podcast one day i want to talk about like how to talk to children about queer identities and then at dinner later that day Emily just shouts across the table…

SARAH: Wait that was the same day?

AMANDA: Yes the same day. She's just like hey Sarah, Amanda wants to be on the podcast and that's why i'm here.

SARAH: Well listen Kayla is leaving we got to get another person 

AMANDA: No hate babe love you

KAYLA: It's true i mean we are always searching for content

SARAH: We are. Our pod last week we were starved of content. And like… also i feel like a lot of people that we know have been like, “can i be on your podcast?” and then we were like “what would you want to talk about?” and they're like oh no i just want to be on your podcast and it's like hello

KAYLA: It’s like that's not good enough

SARAH: So like i'm very enthused that you wanted to be on and you had something 

AMANDA: Yeah

SARAH: And you came with a lesson plan

AMANDA: I did 

SARAH: Oh man what a teacher all right well thank you again for joining us tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears 

KAYLA: And until then take good care of your cows 

SARAH: And your students god damn it 

KAYLA: Oh my god 

AMANDA: And your teachers


Sounds Fake But Okay