Ep 277: Cuffing Season

[00:00:00]

SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aroace girl, I’m Sarah, that's me 

KAYLA: And a bi-demi sexual girl that's me Kayla 

SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand 

KAYLA: On today's episode, cuffing season 

[Intro Music]

SARAH: Welcome back to the pod 

KAYLA: It's cuffing season... 

SARAH: I want you to know that um right before you did that you froze so when it came into my… you know how sometimes when someone freezes and then… 

KAYLA: It's like really fast 

SARAH: It gives you all the audio like scrunched together really fast? That's what I just heard 

KAYLA: Oh, you're welcome 

SARAH: So 

KAYLA: I love that 

SARAH: We're going to deal with some freezing today. It seems 

KAYLA: Well, listen 

SARAH: Oh, how is everyone? 

KAYLA: I’m in a different room than usual so, maybe my internet isn't good 

SARAH: I wasn't asking you how you were

KAYLA: I was just informing people why we're having issues 

SARAH: It's because of the jackhammer 

KAYLA: We can talk about this more in the beef section 

SARAH: Great, okay. Um, do we have any housekeeping? 

KAYLA: I guess if you're new here, we have a book. Well, just some general reminders. 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: We have a book. Uh, we have merch 

SARAH: Mm-hmm. 

KAYLA: Uh, we have a Patreon. I recently put… apparently there's a thing called collections on Patreon kind of like a playlist for things. So, I put all of the bonus content we've done over the years there. Um, we've played some video games before, there are some like visual episodes, there's half of my audio 

SARAH: KFC 

KAYLA: Yes, KFC. There's half of my audio from a lost episode 

SARAH: Well, it is all of your audio. 

KAYLA: Yes. It's all of my… Yes, I just was reading the transcript for the episode that we recorded the same night as the lost one and you do like a disclaimer at the beginning like hey, this wasn't supposed to come out like this episode got moved up, whatever and you're so sad. It's very… But… you're like I was just crying. you say sorry like 50 times. It's really a sad episode 

SARAH: Mostly just sorry to myself it seems 

KAYLA: Yeah, it was really funny 

SARAH: Oh, man, my housekeeping is if anyone has any suggestions of dentists, eye doctors or therapists in the Santa Fernando valley who take my insurance

KAYLA: Okay, but um, they don't know your insurance 

SARAH: Uh, my insurance is Health Net, whatever the… one is 

KAYLA: Okay. Sure 

SARAH: Um, so if you… 

KAYLA: Do we need to sit down with… and do some appointment making while I’m there 

SARAH: Maybe 

KAYLA: I think that that would be a good use of our time perhaps 

SARAH: We can do it in between the facials and cutting my bangs 

KAYLA: Perfect, what a domestic week we're about to have. 

SARAH: Ugh. Yeah, Kayla is going to be in LA, why? You'll find out soon 

KAYLA: Don't worry about it

SARAH: Don't worry about it. All right, Kayla, what are we talking about this week? 

KAYLA: It's cuffing season, we're talking about cuffing season 

SARAH: Cuffing season. 

KAYLA: Season. Um, I don't know I… 

SARAH: What about it? Kayla 

KAYLA: Yeah. Well, uh, it's cold, it's colder. Yes. 

SARAH: I think we had a freezing problem. So, then I started talking while you were talking 

KAYLA: Cool. Um, this is going really well. Um, it's getting colder here and I feel like I've seen people talking about um this cuffing season coming up and I was like, what are we going to talk about today? and this came into my mind, so 

SARAH: We've definitely talked about cuffing season before on this podcast 

KAYLA: I’m sure we have 

SARAH: But I believe this week our plan is to get a bit more scientific 

KAYLA: Yes, I found some articles… 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: I found some articles about like the science and psychology. I also then looked up cuffing season on TikTok because the articles I found were a couple years old. So, I was like, are we not doing cuffing season anymore?  

SARAH: I mean I go to TikTok for all of my peer reviewed sources, like that's where I find them 

KAYLA: Here's the thing, is research is now saying that like people are going more to TikTok for search than Google, like that's a thing 

SARAH: Really 

KAYLA: Yes, like I do that, instead of googling like what pants should I buy on Google? I go to TikTok now because then I can see a real person 

SARAH: I can't say I've ever Googled what pants should I buy? 

KAYLA: Okay, but okay. Here's the example I was giving people, you know, the like soft overalls like the Free People overalls that all the people are wearing? I was like… 

SARAH: Like the ones that look like they belong on like a stuffed bear like a teddy bear?

KAYLA: Yeah, like they're not like… 

SARAH: Are we thinking of the same ones?

KAYLA: They're not… like the ones that are like loose soft fabric not like a denim overall, you know what I mean? Look up like free people… 

SARAH: Yeah. That's exactly what I was picturing, and you know what? I looked that up on Google not TikTok 

KAYLA: Okay. All I’m saying is… I was recently like what I want to know what like the best not super expensive version of this is and I didn't go to Google because I was like, I don't… I want to go to TikTok and see real people wearing them and reviewing them, anyway 

SARAH: You know what pisses me off though? Is when you're watching a TikTok and like it references something and then it shows like the suggested search term is that thing that it references and then you click on the suggested search term and then it doesn't give you anything that answers any of your questions 

KAYLA: Yeah. The suggested search… they have a lot of work to do on that feature. It's… because a lot of times it's like not relevant at all 

SARAH: Yeah, it's either not relevant or like they give me a suggested search term and then they have nothing to fulfill that so it's like don't give me that suggestion if you don't have any content for me 

KAYLA: Fair. They're working on it though. I just… like they're doing a partnership with Google potentially on search, anyway, it's happening 

SARAH: Well, speaking of… speaking of… this is somewhat related, I now have so many “am I the assholes” banked up because Instagram has discovered that I’m interested. 

KAYLA: Yes. I also have a couple saved. 

SARAH: I have so many. I have like more than one episode's worth and I believe we last did an “am I the asshole” like two weeks ago. Yeah 

KAYLA: I also have a couple saved because TikTok has been serving me the like Subway Surfer or like Minecraft jumping while reading, so the thing is… 

SARAH: Yeah, I’m getting those too 

KAYLA: The thing is I have those videos saved but I’m going to need to go find the actual post because I can't be watching the video and reading it, like that's not going to happen 

SARAH: Yeah, most of mine are videos but there was one where the video was crazy and I was like, you know what? I’m going to try and find this original post and then I looked up the original post and the original post had been removed by… 

KAYLA: No 

SARAH: Not by the creator. 

KAYLA: Oh, by Reddit? 

SARAH: It went against the rules of the Reddit 

KAYLA: Oh, no 

SARAH: I won't go into it anymore because I will be talking about this on our next “Am I the asshole?” 

KAYLA: Perfect. We have so much “Am I the asshole” content? 

SARAH: Yeah, this is now an AITA podcast 

KAYLA: Yeah, which like there's already a billion of those but sorry 

SARAH: Some of the ones I found were from podcasts and I was like…

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: From your podcast to mine 

KAYLA: There is these two girls I always see and they're sitting in these chairs and they're all cozy with a blanket and they're doing am I the asshole? And I’m like that looks divine, anyway. 

SARAH: Cuffing 

KAYLA: Cuffing, the articles I found were like a couple years old so I was like are we not like doing cuffing season anymore? Do we not? Is this not the word we're using anymore? So, I went to TikTok because I was like what are the kids saying and that we are still talking about it and I found a bananas video that I would like to start with, this isn't about the science of it, but this is someone's cuffing season strategy and there is a lot of thought put into this and I think it is bananas… we talked about this I feel like in like the dating coach episode of like… 

SARAH: Yeah, this is bringing back dating coach memories. 

KAYLA: Yes, like where we are as a society that we need to like have full dating strategies and post them online. 

SARAH: Yeah, got to get that Strat 

KAYLA: Girlies. This girl's name is Justine, her TikTok is Justine’s Cameral, if you want to… I don't know 

SARAH: Cool 

KAYLA: Um, I'll show Sarah the screenshot. So, she's talking over this video…

SARAH: Oh, wow 

KAYLA: And behind her is like a green screen of her notes app of like a fully written out strategy so here's…This is her strategy for cuffing season. It starts on August 1st. So, we're all late 

SARAH: Oh my God 

[00:10:00]

KAYLA: But apparently cuffing… Okay, hold on… actually, I’m so sorry, back up. We should define cuffing season. 

SARAH: What's cuffing season? 

KAYLA: I’m so sorry, we do this every time. I just assume… 

SARAH: We’ve been doing this podcast for how many years? 

KAYLA: I know

SARAH: And every time… 

KAYLA: I just assume everyone knows you know. Okay

SARAH: Everyone has the exact same baseline knowledge as you specifically. 

KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah, me specifically. Okay cuffing season is in the winter like in the cold months, especially the phenomenon that everyone starts getting into committed relationships aka… 

SARAH: Rather than just like flings

KAYLA: Cuffed. Yes, rather than like dating around casually whatever. I feel like it's… 

SARAH: Summer slings? No. It's like you are cuffed bitch 

KAYLA: You are cuffed which like feels very like ball and chain to me, which is like um, it's a bit… it's weird. I feel like it's… Mm, it's giving, but I feel like it's like the opposite of hot girl summer, you know? 

SARAH: Cozy bitch winter 

KAYLA: Cozy bitch. I saw someone say that they weren't doing cuffing season. They were doing Like feral girl fall or something and I was like, that's great, good for you 

SARAH: No 

KAYLA: Anyway. So, here's this woman's strategy for cuffing seasons, the strategy to by the cold months have a boo thing locked down 

SARAH: You my little boo thing. I don't give a… 

KAYLA: I don't give a hoot… Okay, so in August, August 1st to 30th, this is your scouting plus strategy month

SARAH: Oh my God 

KAYLA: This is the time you spend thinking about what do you want? What types of men are… this is what she's speaking to like? Girls going after men. So, I’m just going to talk about that

SARAH: Wait, I’m sorry. Did you say August 1st through August 30th? 

KAYLA: Yes, you have a month 

SARAH: Okay, August has 31 days. What are you doing on the 31st? 

KAYLA: She does not have August 31st on this. So, I think… 

SARAH: Okay, that's a day off. 

KAYLA: I think yeah, you get a day off. Um, so this is when you think about like the type of relationship you want, what kind of person or type you're interested in. I don't think this is a bad advice I think you should always be thinking about… you shouldn't just go dating willy-nilly, you should have like an idea of like…

SARAH: Unless their name is Willy-Nilly 

KAYLA: Don't date someone named Willy-Nilly 

SARAH: Yeah, that's a bit of a red flag. 

KAYLA: I get his parents probably have something going on. There is a cat. Please don't sit on me. I’m already fucking warm you have to be gone. So anyway, August’s first strategy… what I found most interesting about this part is she was like think about like the type of guys you would want to date like usually I would say like no to like actors and comedians and artists and stuff, but maybe for cuffing season I would be like willing to do it and I was like, okay so we're just fully settling. 

SARAH: Oh 

KAYLA: Just so we can say we have someone for cuffing season. This is…

SARAH: That is wild 

KAYLA: To me like that's what was most bananas about this to me is that like at this point you're fully like gamifying dating in my mind, like you're not dating… 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: And I understand not everyone is dating to find a life partner that is not everyone’s goal. 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: Which is hard for me to wrap my mind around as a demi person, but like we move. But to me like just dating someone to have someone for cuffing season feels like not fair to the other person 

SARAH: Well, to me it just… it seems like it's more important to you to be in a relationship than who you are in a relationship with which is so…

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: Amata… allo

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: That shit has been banged into your head with a large hammer 

KAYLA: Yeah, just like…

SARAH: And I worry for you. 

KAYLA: I worry for you. Yeah, like you're in a relationship for relationship's sake not because you want, you're like interested in this person. So that was interesting, moving on to September 1st through 30th uh, this is your drafting season. 

SARAH: Okay. 

KAYLA: Um, so this is when you're like filling out your roster of the people you're dating interestingly 

SARAH: We have a we have a full roster. I thought the point of cuffing season is to just get one? 

KAYLA: Well, but we're only in September. 

SARAH: We have a roster and then we narrow it down? Okay. 

KAYLA: Yes, just please be patient 

SARAH: I don't know how. I don't know how 

KAYLA: Um interestingly she breaks up this by Lover girls slash easily attached girls into everyone else. So, for lover girls or girls that get like easily attached to people she wants you to get your roster to three to five people in September 

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: Everyone else a roster of seven to ten 

SARAH: Now… 

KAYLA: Exhausting. How do you date seven to ten people? 

SARAH: I've for some reason thought that… 

KAYLA: An active roster of seven to ten? Active

SARAH: I have for some reason thought that the lover girls would have a high… a higher number than other 

KAYLA: No. She means like lover girls as in like you fall in love or like get attached to… 

SARAH: You don't want to have ten?

KAYLA: Right. 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: You want to have… yeah 

SARAH: I don't think I know seven to ten people 

KAYLA: I don't actively keep up with seven to ten friends. 

SARAH: I don't even know seven to ten people of the same gender 

KAYLA: Sure

SARAH: If you're only dating one gender like that's not even enough prospects. I just like having seven to ten people that you've like dated within one month I can see that if you're like actively going on a lot of first dates, but an active roster of seven to ten people like that's… how many dates would you have to go on… or like how many people do you have to see a week to keep that active? 

KAYLA: That's two. That's… I mean just to have a first date with all of those people that's like two dates a week 

SARAH: Exactly. That's more socializing than I can handle 

KAYLA: I know, and like even if you're just like texting them or talking to them. That's like ambitious, anyway, but she tells you don't worry, many won't make the first cut, so I guess… okay, that's fair. I guess some of these are just first dates perhaps

SARAH: Right. You're looking for the… you got a white boy on my roster. He's making me pasta and lobster you're looking for that one 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: He doesn't have to be white, probably better if he's not white 

KAYLA: Probably. Um, then we get to October 1st through 15th. Now we're in the tryouts and the first-round cuts 

SARAH: So that's where we are right now. That's our current… 

KAYLA: Yes. So, this is what we should all be doing right now. So, for lover girls you want to get your roster to two to three, everyone else three to five. You're also asking yourself who aligns to the strategy? As in like what you want your cuffing season to look like, like what activities you want to be doing I think, again bizarre to me. 

SARAH: Like if you're an active girly you want to find someone who skis? 

KAYLA: I guess like I have my on my mood board this winter is like an aperitif ski trip so that I need to find a ski… like that's the strat? Is to find someone with like a ski pass? 

SARAH: Or like… I thought you meant someone who likes skiing not like I need some mooch like I think it's… 

KAYLA: Okay, but to me like that feels like the strategy, right? Like oh his parents are rich and they do Christmas in Cabo like. Is that the strat? 

SARAH: I… look. I don't know what to tell you, I don't think we're… I don't think we're skiing in Cabo. 

KAYLA: No, these are different trips, please keep up, please keep up

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: Anyway, so that's… 

SARAH: I literally just googled Cabo to make sure, I was like I am 99.9% sure

KAYLA: No, you don’t…

SARAH: I’m always like a beach place, but… 

KAYLA: It doesn't even have sand dunes. You couldn't even like sand ski, I don't think 

SARAH: It's like I need to be sure before… 

KAYLA: No, these are separate trips. These are the options you have to weigh with your strategy. Do you want to Christmas in Cabo or go skiing? 

SARAH: Right. Okay

KAYLA: Right. 

SARAH: I don't really want to do either. You know what? I would go skiing. I've never been skiing. 

KAYLA: I have not skied since I was a child. Dean and his friends are really into skiing. So, my… 

SARAH: That checks out 

KAYLA: Yeah, my plan for my future is I just stay in the ski lodge and I’m like one of those like hot wives who just like… Last time he went on a skiing trip, I just like took a bath and read like three books in one weekend. It was great. So, that's your strat 

SARAH: Sure. Yeah

KAYLA: So that's the first half of October. Um, the second half, enjoy your roster. This should be a social month 

SARAH: No 

KAYLA: Notably, this is to October 30th. So, again, you get the…

SARAH: Again, Halloween you get off 

KAYLA: You get off

SARAH: You can just party 

KAYLA: Do whatever you want

SARAH: Also, okay... Look, October being a social month for me this month is fairly social but that means that I have three things planned in the whole month 

KAYLA: I mean that's big for you. Oh, my… Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself. So, that was October. November 1st to 30th Reassess your strategy. What do you want? If you want a relationship? 

SARAH: Turkey, actually Turkey is not the most important Thanksgiving food. 

KAYLA: No, it's… Honestly, I’m not a big turkey guy. 

SARAH: No one is a big turkey guy. I've never met someone who's a big turkey guy. 

KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah. So if you want a relationship, lover girls should spend the month deciding who you want in, if not, narrow it down to two to three as you won't have much time in December I guess because of holidays. I don't know. 

[00:20:00]

SARAH: I also like how three keeps being a recurring number. Like if you're a lover girl, they said in September three to five and then in October two to three so in theory you could have three and then not narrow it down at all. 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: And then now here we are in November and we’re at two to three

KAYLA: And now what? 

SARAH: Not narrow it down, again, still the same three. 

KAYLA: I mean, I guess you could switch out the three if you… 

SARAH: Respect. If you can maintain three guys over like a couple of months 

KAYLA: I don't understand you, but

SARAH: Even if it's casual. You know what? Fucking… good for you 

KAYLA: Yeah, that sounds exhausting to me, but I love that for you. So, if you're not a lover girl, narrow it down to two to three. Oh, yes. I already said that. Okay, December, here's all she has written, collect your gift 

SARAH: One gift? 

KAYLA: She means like Christmas and Hanukkah. Like you got into this cuffing season to make it to the holidays and receive a gift 

SARAH: Wait, I’m sorry, so we have cuffed just to receive a gift from our new cuffling? 

KAYLA: I mean… 

SARAH: This is like that guy in Japan who dated all those women and told them it was his birthday and then they bought him gifts and then he ghosted them 

KAYLA: Yeah, hold on. I’m free watching part of… I just want to make sure I got the December part right, give me a second, because… Okay, we don't want to go to the New York bad karma, bad energy so you've got to get it down to two or three at the end of November, okay. 

SARAH: But we're down to two or three at the end of the November, but then… 

KAYLA: Okay, the last… you're going to just collect your gifts. Definitely collect something. Okay, that's all she says

SARAH: So, we're still at two to three on December 1st? 

KAYLA: I guess you're getting two to three gifts… 

SARAH: This strategy broke down. It was so detailed. 

KAYLA: I know, she really... at the end because in December there's not even bullet points. It just says December: collect your gift. She really put a lot of thought in the beginning I feel like there's not a lot of follow-through. 

SARAH: What am I supposed to do with my two to three guys in December? I can only bring one of them to Christmas. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know 

SARAH: I mean, I guess if you have an open… if you have an open family, perhaps you could bring them all to Christmas 

KAYLA: All right. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I mean… I always think of cuffing season as like committed relationships be they like monogamous or not. 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: But I feel like she's giving… she's trying to give strategies to everyone depending on whether you want to get into relationship or like keep things cash 

SARAH: But I don't know that that's technically cuffing season. 

KAYLA: I don't think if you're…

SARAH: If you’re keeping it cash and like you're not trying to be exclusive or whatever the non-monogamous version of exclusive is, like I don't think that's cuffing if that's not what you're doing 

KAYLA: I don't either. But she said so for January, start new year with whoever matches the new year vibe and enjoy into February. Let me watch this part to make sure. Then enjoy… it’s new year, got to go in with good new energy, maybe whoever matches it, the vibe, big smooch… that's one person or two people or 17 people and you didn't listen to anything I just said, just enjoy February. Okay, so at the end she's basically like, do whatever you want 

SARAH: Are we trying to maintain these cufflings until? Through Valentine's Day, right? 

KAYLA: She doesn't say, it's… just that's the end of the video. Do you have other videos on this ma'am? 

SARAH: Wow. Okay

KAYLA: Hold on, wait.

SARAH: I have questions for Justine, I really do 

KAYLA: Okay wait, there… I feel like there's another… Another cuffing season video. 

SARAH: It's cuffiling season

KAYLA: Okay, this is an ad though, so I don't know okay, she did it a September update but it's an ad so I don't feel like this is this is not the content I came here for 

SARAH: Get that coin girly 

KAYLA: I mean, yeah, I’m happy for her. It's just like it's not…

SARAH: Not helpful though. 

KAYLA: Okay, before this video, how to build your dating roster. Wow, she really… oh, wait, okay. Five easy places to meet men that's not Hinge or Tinder. Okay. This is more cuffing season. Okay, so yeah on… how to make people love being around you, cuffing season. 

SARAH: Oh, only during cuffing season? Doesn't work in… doesn't work in June? 

KAYLA: Get what you want by December, a crazy girl's guide to getting what you want by December 

SARAH: What do you want? What do you want Justine? I’m confused about what you want 

KAYLA: How to collect your gifts by December. You're welcome. I’m trying to fast-forward so I can just see her… Okay, August 1st through 31st, she remembered the 31st this time, go online to figure out you want, do not mention it to whoever… Oh my God. This is literally just a get a guy to… getting a man to buy you something 

SARAH: You know, I respect the hustle. I’m confused but I respect the hustle. 

KAYLA: She's literally like this is one to drop hints. This is one to send links 

SARAH: How expensive of a gift are we looking for? 

KAYLA: Like a Rolex? I don't know

SARAH: Like…

KAYLA: This is fascinating. I feel like I’m like watching an animal documentary right now 

SARAH: When I think of like getting a gift from someone that you've recently cuffed to, I’m not thinking something super expensive 

KAYLA: No, I feel like it's very risky to do big gifts early in a relationship 

SARAH: Yeah. I’m thinking something like small and thoughtful 

KAYLA: Yes, small and sentimental because you don't… it's very risky to do like concert tickets like tickets to a trip early in a relationship because it's like you don't know if you're going to break up or like then you're going to have pressure to stay together just to like make it to this event 

SARAH: Especially if it's nonrefundable 

KAYLA: Exactly. 

SARAH: I read a fan-fiction about that recently 

KAYLA: How did that go for them? 

SARAH: Oh, they got back together. 

KAYLA: That's all… I see a lot of TikToks about like lol. I’m going on this Europe trip with my ex because we have to 

SARAH: Well, the premise of this was that they both went… it was a cruise and they both went because they thought the other wouldn't 

KAYLA: Of course 

SARAH: And then here we are. Anyway 

KAYLA: I mean… so anyway, that's one look to cuffing season, I guess. I mean I obviously you cannot relate as a demi person. I cannot relate to those strategies. I feel like for me personally it was always cuffing season. Like I was a serial monogamist, it was 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: It was always cuffing season for me

SARAH: You were a serial cuffer. 

KAYLA: Yes, I was… I stayed cuffed so I didn't have to get cuffed 

SARAH: You kept… you kept those cuffs…

KAYLA: Kept that mother fucking thing on 

SARAH: Should we talk about science now? 

KAYLA: Yeah, let's talk about science. I will say I did read the articles beforehand in a stunning turn of events 

SARAH: Whoa 

KAYLA: And I feel like it's all pretty obvious stuff like I don't know that… I think it's all probably what you're expecting. So, what do you think the science behind cuffing season is? 

SARAH: Hibernation, we are… we get cold and we want somebody to love and so we get a somebody to love. It's chilly time. You need to cuddle in the snow and then you get…

KAYLA: In the snow? 

SARAH: Men and then there’s spring and there's holidays and stuff too, so you want to feel loved and appreciated and then the spring comes and you're like, I’m bored 

KAYLA: So true. I also think… I mean just in general like me personally I do a lot more outside of the house activities in the summer. Like I feel like my summers are very busy like the weekends are like, oh we want to go do this or go to a bar or whatever but in the winter, you're kind of like we could just drink at home 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: You know?

SARAH: Especially if you live in a place with seasons. It's a lot more staying in, family stuff whether that is your biological family or your chosen family, and so like if you want to have your person to do those family things with 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: You know that sort of thing 

KAYLA: I feel like it's also harder probably to motivate yourself to go out and go on a first date if it's cold out, because if it's nice out and it's the summer even if you're not like super interested in the person you could be like…

SARAH: There’s hope in the air. 

KAYLA: Oh, why not? 

SARAH: Like hope brings eternal 

KAYLA: Exactly 

SARAH: That phrase includes the word spring. Okay? 

KAYLA: Thank you 

SARAH: You can’t do that in the winter 

KAYLA: Hope does not winter eternal 

SARAH: Hope doesn’t winter eternal and hope doesn't fall eternal either. It does fall. 

KAYLA: Well, I feel like a hope falls eternal could… 

SARAH: Hope work autumn eternal 

KAYLA: Eternal. Anyway, I feel like it's hard, if you're already like I don't really know if I’m interested in this person and it's cold out, I’m like, I’m not going 

SARAH: As a person who lives in a warm place 

KAYLA: Okay. Cool. So, this is an article from insider it's from 2021 the instinct is based on how we evolved to stay warm as a species 

SARAH: Hibernation 

KAYLA: Mm-hmm

SARAH: That bear week just ended 

KAYLA: It did. Humans evolved to press together to stay warm when the other option was shivering under a heap of animal skins, neuroscientist James Cohn told Insider. I feel like we all… I don't know if we needed a neuroscientist 

SARAH: I mean I could have told… I could have told the Insider that, but okay

KAYLA: Cuddling started out as a less metabolically taxing option and it eventually became something to look forward to, how do you know? The cave… how do you know when the cavemen were like, you know what actually? 

SARAH: You know, I don’t know what to do right now 

[00:30:00]

KAYLA: This slaps. After breathing, regulating core top core body temperature is probably the most important task the body has, this scientist told Insider. So if his research leads to social thermoregulation or the theory that our social networks evolved around keeping warm even today people with higher…

SARAH: Another example?

KAYLA: Yeah, this part is… this part is interesting to me. Even today, people with higher levels of social integration are better protected against the cold according to a 2018 study called the Human Penguin Project, that's cute. Hans Aizerman, a social psychologist and lead author of the study told Insider that people with diverse social networks measured by the number of strong relationships in their lives are better at regulating their core body temperature in the cold. I call bullshit

SARAH: What if you live somewhere warm 

KAYLA: First that 

SARAH: What if you live on the equator? 

KAYLA: Second of all, regulating… like being able to regulate your core body temperature is a biological thing like 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: People with bad circulation are just like, you ever have a friend who's like, lol, my fingers are always blue. I have terrible circulation. 

SARAH: My cousin… 

KAYLA: That has nothing to do with how many friends you have

SARAH: My cousin has like the medical thing of that

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH:  My grandma had it too. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I have a friend who has that and she has way more friends than I do… and I… and her regulation is worse than mine, I don't think this is true. 

SARAH: I mean I can totally understand like oh it's better to have a bigger social circle because when it gets chilly your big social circle can be a big social warm together, but I don't think that impacts… I don't believe that it impacts… 

KAYLA: I know 

SARAH: Like your heat regulation outside of that physical cuddle puddle, you know?

KAYLA: Right. They said the association was especially strong for people in romantic relationships that they don't know why yet. Again, there's just no way 

SARAH: Correlation or causation, bestie? 

KAYLA: Exactly. 

SARAH: How big is your sample size? 

KAYLA: Probably not good. Also, how do you test how good people are regulating their core body temperature? I'm sure there's something there, but like if you have them in a lab like it's not like you're testing it throughout the day I’m guessing I don't know how you would do that. 

SARAH: I don’t know 

KAYLA: I didn't read these studies but they feel… 

SARAH: I feel like labs are cold in general. 

KAYLA: Yes, that's true. Um, apparently attachment style may also play a role. In a separate study, people tended to think more of their loved ones in artificially cold conditions compared to warmer temperatures but only if they had a secure attachment style. 

SARAH: I think that sort of makes sense. 

KAYLA: I can kind of understand it 

SARAH: Because like if it's really hot in there, you're not going to be like I want to cuddle with my boo 

KAYLA: Fair. And then they basically just say that cuddling feels good and this part… This is the ending

SARAH: Groundbreaking 

KAYLA: Yeah. Add a touch of seasonal affective disorder and holiday season social plans and it's no wonder that we don't want to be alone in the winter “the holidays can feel lonely, so singles do everything to avoid that, feeling loved and loving someone can lift your mood” 

SARAH: Loving someone… 

KAYLA: I just… 

SARAH: Oh, oh, loving someone

KAYLA: Thank you

SARAH: That's a song by The 1975 

KAYLA: Thank you. 

SARAH: You’re welcome 

KAYLA: I just don't… I don't like that ending quote. I feel like that's… I feel like not everyone is sad and lonely, you know 

SARAH: Everyone is sad and lonely when they don’t have a boo

KAYLA: I just don't think that's true 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Here's another article, do you want another one? 

SARAH: I would have never wanted anything more 

KAYLA: This one is from Vice and it's from 2018? Yeah, so old science 

SARAH: Hurry the plague 

KAYLA: Yeah, so apparently in 2013 there was a study that looked in changes in Google search trends related to sex and relationships over a five-year period, they found distinct and predictable seasonal fluctuations. There was a reliable increase in searches related to online dating in the winter months, especially in January, this makes sense to me you're like New Year…

SARAH: The holidays are over today. It's cold. I want to get a… They didn't say… they said boo in in 2008 

KAYLA: This is from ‘18. 

SARAH: You're talking… It's a 2018 article about a 2013 study that went back five years

KAYLA: Moving on. Facebook data supports the finding that people are more likely to change to a coupled relationship status in the winter. Also Google searches related to porn and they say prostitution, but I’m going to say sex work because what are we doing? Increase in the winter as well, there was also an increase in sex slash dating interest in the summer and that was an even bigger spike than the winter which makes sense to me because that's when hot girl summer is 

SARAH: It just feels like it's generally more casual then 

KAYLA: Yeah. So yeah, well people's do see more interest in sex and love and winter it's not necessarily the case that they're more interested than other seasons

SARAH: But I think the statistic that like people's Facebook relationship status is changed more 

KAYLA: That's telling to me. 

SARAH: Yeah, because like that's not like oh, this is a casual like you're not going to change your… it's 2013, you're not changing your Facebook relationship status because you went on two dates 

KAYLA: No, and I… 

SARAH: Unless you're the type of person that does that 

KAYLA: Yeah. I feel like this article and maybe the study… I don't… I’m just reading the article is kind of conflating because they say like oh it seems like cuffing season occurs more than once annually because a lot of people are dating in the summer but I feel like they're not understanding the idea that not everyone dates to cuff 

SARAH: Mm-hmm. 

KAYLA: Like I feel like the motivations to date in the summer versus the winter on mass are different 

SARAH: And also, if you're going to talk about like two cuffing seasons, two cuffing waves like then… okay. Well, then why are people not cuffing in the spring and fall? 

KAYLA: Right. I mean this is all really bullshit, I mean everything we're talking about is nothing because everyone just gets in relationships at any time when it makes sense for them but… 

SARAH: But it seems that in the wintertime people do tend to seek it out more. 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: With intention. 

KAYLA: Yes, rather than just like if it happens it happens. Yes. It does seem that way 

SARAH: Also, it's a really good setup for like a fanfic situation where you're like, I have to bring someone, I told… I told… with fake dating I told my family I was dating someone, I got to bring somebody in Christmas, only one bed. Oh, no, we're stuck…

KAYLA: It's also great for like, oh no, I’m back in my small hometown for Christmas

SARAH: Mm-hmm 

KAYLA: Home from my big city job and oh my god this lumberjack. He's like… 

SARAH: Look, there's a reason why all those Hallmark Lifetime Christmas movies exist

KAYLA: Because they're good. You know what's really sad? 

SARAH: Mm

KAYLA: Is I saw something that said that a lot of the Christmas movies are made in like the summer and fall which is when the strike was so we might have a drought of Christmas rom-coms this year 

SARAH: I bet we will 

KAYLA: I know 

SARAH: Because yeah, they do shoot them like in the summer and fall so that they're ready for Christmas 

KAYLA: I know 

SARAH: Or more so spring summer actually because they need to be like edited and shit 

KAYLA: So, I guess I'll just have to watch… rewatch all four Christmas princess switches. What are you going to do? Anyway

SARAH: I’ve never seen any of them 

KAYLA: They're so good. I mean they're bad but like they're really good. 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Here's some more bullshit science for you 

SARAH: Mm-hmm. 

KAYLA: Some studies have found the testosterone levels fluctuate seasonally in men, peaking in the winter months. And so that's why we're cuffing season, according to vice.com 

SARAH: Biologically, why would that happen? 

KAYLA: I don't know, because your testosterone levels…I don’t…

SARAH: You got to have a spring baby?

KAYLA: Maybe. Yeah, evolutionarily I’m not understanding. Anyway and then it talks about like seasonal depression and so like… 

SARAH: Seasonal depression more like year-round depression, I’m I right?

KAYLA: Exactly. And so then if you're not producing as much serotonin you'd want to cuddle because cuddling gives you serotonin and then you're in this sun, your serotonin is up, so there's increased interest in sex and relationship when it's warmer and you take more vacations. There's opportunity to spice up your sex life. 

SARAH: Are we talking about summer? 

KAYLA: Yeah, that's the summer 

SARAH: That's not cuffing season. 

KAYLA: I know but they keep talking about the summer. 

SARAH: Okay. Well, they need to stop 

KAYLA: And that's… and that's the science 

SARAH: Okay. 

KAYLA: Yep 

SARAH: All right

KAYLA: I Just… 

SARAH: Yeah, okay, here's the thing, here's the thing. 

KAYLA: Mm-hmm. 

SARAH: It's wintertime, you're cold, you're cuddling, you're like, oh, you know, we might as well fuck now basically, you know, it's time 

[00:40:00]

KAYLA: Sure. Okay

SARAH: And that's why the testosterone supposedly goes up 

KAYLA: Interesting, when are most babies born? Do you think most babies are like conceived during the cuffing season? 

SARAH: I… there are statistics about that, for some reason I want to say most of them are born in September, but I could be making that up 

KAYLA: When are most babies born? 

SARAH: September would put the conception around Christmas. 

KAYLA: Oh babies… Did you know babies are normally born around 40 weeks of pregnancy? Thanks Siri

SARAH: Siri 

KAYLA: What month are most babies born? August 

SARAH: August, so it's November. Everyone is just eating turkey and fucking 

KAYLA: Yeah, so this health website says, are more babies conceived during the colder months? the Center for Disease Control and Prevention tracks… 

SARAH: What’s…

KAYLA: And July through October are the busiest birth months and… with August typically having the highest number of births. So yeah, I guess fucking. You know what? here's my… okay, evolution brain blast 

SARAH: Mm 

KAYLA: Back in the day, it would be safer to have your baby when it's warm out so that they don't freeze to death so you should conceive in the winter. So, your testosterone is like…

SARAH: Got to stay warm by fucking

KAYLA: Just testosterone like make you horny though, like what's the… why are they even saying that? 

SARAH: I have no idea

KAYLA: Is that anything?

SARAH: I don’t know 

KAYLA: Actually, you know what? I've heard it is, because I've heard trans people say that when I start taking testosterone, they get hornier 

SARAH: Interesting 

KAYLA: This could all be completely nothing

SARAH: You’ve said that multiple times 

KAYLA: Don’t actually… you know, I feel like the moral of this episode is the moral we've been having on most episodes lately which… like the past at least two episodes, which is that it's fine if you want to do it for the right reasons. I have nothing against cuffing for the cuffing season. I love cuffing. I am a serial cuffer being cuffed but if you're like this lovely woman on TikTok, who not… nothing against her, she's clearly getting her bag. She's making lots of videos 

SARAH: As she should 

KAYLA: But if you're like making a strategy just get cuffed to have someone to like go home for the holidays so to get you a gift and to date for cuffing season… like you're going to date someone you never would date normally 

SARAH: Also, if you're freshly cuffed they're not going to be good at getting you gifts, maybe this is me projecting…

KAYLA: No, they’re going to know 

SARAH: Because I’m very hard to buy gifts for 

KAYLA: Yeah, that’s true. 

SARAH: But like I guess if you're an easy person to buy gift for like if you're just like I love jewelry like okay but like I love all jewelry. I’m not picky about what kind like I don't know but like they're not going to know you as well so like their gifts may not be as good unless I guess as Justine suggests you need to drop those hints drop those links. 

KAYLA: I mean, yeah, she was saying that in August you should be looking for what you want, so. And I mean, I guess if you've… if they've been on the roster since August 1st, they might know you kind of 

SARAH: It depends how often you're seeing each other because you have seven to ten people on your roster 

KAYLA: Seven to ten… Yeah, it just seems stressful 

SARAH: Do you do group dates like on The Bachelor? 

KAYLA: I mean, I just… it just seems overwhelming to me. 

SARAH: Yeah. 

KAYLA: Okay, and anyway… 

SARAH: All right. Well, that's our podcast. What's our poll for this week? 

KAYLA: Our poll this week, um…

SARAH: Do you hate it when people spell season as SZN? Because I do and I don't know why it's just like an innate anger 

KAYLA: I like it in certain contexts. I feel like it has to be like a slightly ironic 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Vibe, you know 

SARAH: I was recently in a situation where I needed to write the word season like in regards to like a season of a television show and I was writing it out by hand and I was like, you know, it would be faster 

KAYLA: It would 

SARAH: If I wrote SZN but I couldn't do it. 

KAYLA: That's very brave of you 

SARAH: Thank you, the poll

KAYLA: What is the poll? Are you… 

SARAH: What are you doing on your… on your one day off in August and October? 

KAYLA: Do you have your strategy for cuffing season? 

SARAH: I want to know what people's strategies for… I want to know what your strategy is

KAYLA: Yeah, what is…

SARAH: What is your strat 

KAYLA: What is your cuffing season strat? Yeah, I’m sure we're going to get a lot of good answers 

SARAH: My cuffing season strat is to stay in my house, which is what I do year-round actually, I think in general I’m more social in the cuffing season months 

KAYLA: Because it's not so boiling hot outside. 

SARAH: No, because people force me to do things. 

KAYLA: Oh 

SARAH: Like if it's holidays like well, you got to go 

KAYLA: That's fair. There are a lot of holidays during the cuffing season 

SARAH: Maybe this is me… Maybe this is me saying that more people should invite me to shit in like May. I don't know 

KAYLA: If you lived here, I'd invite you to a lot of things but you don't 

SARAH: I don't 

KAYLA: Live here

SARAH: I live here 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: She lives in a city. And so do I 

KAYLA: So, do I 

SARAH: She lives in a museum? 

KAYLA: She lives in a… She lives… 

SARAH: She lives in a city-state 

KAYLA: She lives in Vatican City. 

SARAH: She lives…

KAYLA: And so, do I, I’m the Pope and she is Mary Magdalene. 

SARAH: Oh

KAYLA: Let's fuck 

SARAH: Pope and Mary Magdalene? 

KAYLA: I mean sure why not? 

SARAH: I live in a tomb at the bottom of the river and so do you 

KAYLA: I live in the coffin and so does she, we're vampires ooh, spooky 

SARAH: Spooky season 

KAYLA: I live in a… I live in a tomb and so does she, she's my mummy 

SARAH: I was in a tomb, the tomb is my mummy, I am a fetus 

KAYLA: Oh. A womb 

SARAH: Yes. A womb

KAYLA: Okay

SARAH: What’s your beef and your juice this week?

KAYLA: I have a lot to say for my beef. First of all people in my household are getting sick and for undisclosed reasons I cannot be sick right now. 

SARAH: I know 

KAYLA: So, I need to be sounding fresh 

SARAH: Fresh 

KAYLA: That's annoying 

SARAH: And funky 

KAYLA: And sassy and because of the illness in my house… 

SARAH: And spunky 

KAYLA: Last night I was sleeping in my office instead of my bedroom and it's on a different side of the house so I was facing a different street and the city of Cambridge decided that it was time to do some construction with a jackhammer at 11 to 1 a.m. and it was so loud. I also want to preface there has been construction going on outside of my house, not like right outside, but near my house I can see it from my office window as the entire time I've lived in this house and I've never heard it, I can see them, this construction, I couldn't see, it was midnight, it was cold and me and my neighbor were like what the fuck? So, we left our houses because we were like, “we're finding this construction” and we walked several blocks to a highway and found a construction and she was like I’m going to go talk to them I do construction safety at work and I was like you're so brave I’m going to stand here and look up who to call about this while you do that 

SARAH: I wouldn't just stayed in my bed the whole time. 

KAYLA: No, I was pissed. I was like… I was… I was mad. I was so mad. I was so tired. 

SARAH: I would sleep in the closet. I don't care

KAYLA: I just… I couldn't, and so she was talking to them and they were like, oh, yeah, sorry we weren't supposed to be jackhammering, the sidewalk was like supposed to be broken up for us already, we'll try to expedite it because we're going to be here till 1 a.m. and also we're going to be here tomorrow and we were like this will not do so as we were walking back to the house I called the non-emergency police number, which is what the internet said to do about construction that's illegal because there are laws that if it's above a certain amount of decibels it can't be done at a certain time of night and it was very loud and it was at a certain time of night so I called the man and he was like, um…

SARAH: The man 

KAYLA: I called the nice man and he was like well this construction was permitted by the city. So, it actually can be whenever it wants. Sorry, which makes no… like how come the city gets to break its own laws about construction 

SARAH: I mean 

KAYLA: Because also they said that they weren't supposed to be jackhammering so I was like did they put this permit in to do construction but not mention the jackhammer? And then now there's a jackhammer that doesn't seem right 

SARAH: Listen those bitches in charge can get away with whatever the fuck they want 

KAYLA: I know, I think my neighbor did put a complaint in with the city today, I should follow up with her on that. and then I was getting ready to record this podcast and what did I hear through my office window, but a jackhammer

SARAH: But a jackhammer 

[00:50:00]

KAYLA: So, now I’m doing a bed cast because you would definitely be able to hear it, but I did remember that I have sleep earplugs. So, I wore those last night and I gave some to my neighbor and they worked very well. So, I ended up being fine, but I’m mad 

SARAH: Let it all out 

KAYLA: And that's my beef, my juice is it's cold and we got to take our air conditioner units out and I get to go play with Sarah next week 

SARAH: We're going to play 

KAYLA: Me and Sarah have a week-long playdate. 

SARAH: It's not quite a week, but 

KAYLA: Mostly a week, but also there… I feel like we won't only be playing we’ll mostly be business women 

SARAH: Everything is playing if you just believe 

KAYLA: Okay

SARAH: My beef is that it has… it's now dark when I get home from work and that's… 

KAYLA: I hate that 

SARAH: My other beef is when my friends can't come to my birthday thing and I take it very personally. And I decide they must hate me. The beef is both that they that don't come and also my reaction to it like oh you're in the Philippines visiting your family, you know so you got engaged there must be because you hate me

KAYLA: Yeah, they got engaged just despite you 

SARAH: Like oh you have another birthday thing to attend that's not two and a half hours away from your house like my birthday thing is you must hate me even though you are literally the most kind and loving person I know 

KAYLA: But I mean here's the thing I really don't think that's an excuse because I’m flying like six hours just for your birthday

SARAH: Just for my birthday. No other reason 

KAYLA: No other reason 

SARAH: And you are fronting that cost yourself. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I definitely didn't pay for it, anyway 

SARAH: My juice is playtime

KAYLA: Play date, playtime. Did you ask your mom if I could come over by the way? 

SARAH: Um, no, but she should definitely say yes. 

KAYLA: Okay

SARAH: I'll ask my mom. 

KAYLA: Okay, I'll ask my mom too. I forgot. Oh no. 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Maybe we should like do a choreographed dance 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: To ask 

SARAH: Maybe like a presentation, like make a poster board 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: About like why we should be allowed to have a sleepover 

KAYLA: Yeah. I have some glitter gel pens that I can use 

SARAH: Kayla, when am I going to clean my house? 

KAYLA: Does it matter? I don't need your house to be clean 

SARAH: And it's still pretty clean from when Miranda was here but I just don't want to… 

KAYLA: I mean you've seen my house

SARAH: That’s fair 

KAYLA: It's not clean at all

SARAH: Listen, my parents ingrained that 

KAYLA: I know 

SARAH: You know, you… 

KAYLA: My parents were just visiting and I cleaned our whole house and they… I cleaned my whole room, they didn't… they looked in my room for three seconds and were like wow, that's where you sleep. Why did I? 

SARAH: I don't know

KAYLA: Oh

SARAH: Okay, you can tell us about your beef, your juice, your local jackhammers on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. We have a new $2 patron, it is Marco. Thank you, Marco. Dankeschön…

KAYLA: Is Marco German? 

SARAH: Ich glaube ja Weil Weil… My German is so rusty. 

KAYLA: I feel like you were swaying a bit Korean in your accent 

SARAH: In my accent? How was that Korean? 

KAYLA: I don't know, it just felt that way 

SARAH: You know how you say email in Korean? 

KAYLA: Nope 

SARAH: Email 

KAYLA: Oh cool 

SARAH: You know how you say email in German? 

KAYLA: No 

SARAH: Email 

KAYLA: Don't they have their own word for mail? 

SARAH: For mail, yeah but email 

KAYLA: So why wouldn't... okay but like, E-mail is just electronic mail. Why wouldn't they just... 

SARAH: I don't remember what the German word for mail is 

KAYLA: Okay, alright 

SARAH: Now I have to look it up, look what you've done to me 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: Look what you've done to me 

KAYLA: I just feel like why wouldn't they do it in electronic mail in their own language, you know? 

SARAH: It's because the word for mail in German is mail 

KAYLA: Oh, okay, well fine then

SARAH: E-mail... Oh, but mail is always short for e-mail, e-mail, according to this 

KAYLA: That can't be right. What happens when they get real mail? What do they call it? 

SARAH: Let me look up snail mail 

KAYLA: Post 

SARAH: Post 

KAYLA: So, it should be e-post 

SARAH: E-post, anyway. I’m sorry, Marco 

KAYLA: Sorry, Marco, you didn't deserve any of that 

SARAH: Our $5 patrons who are promoting Cinnamon to Speak are Brooke Siegel, Byron Rosnack, Kate Archer, Chris Lortano, and Cinnamon Toast Punch, I want Cinnamon Toast Crunch, we should get some while you're here 

KAYLA: I don't like it, but okay 

SARAH: What is wrong with you? 

KAYLA: I don't know. Actually, you know what? I haven't had it in a while, so I'll give it a try. We can get some and we'll do a live taste test. 

SARAH: You know, the other day my roommate texted me and she was like, “hey, can I use some canola oil?” And I was like, yeah, sure. And then she was like, “Hey, can I use some milk?” And I was like, if I have milk, that's news to me. And she was like…

KAYLA: Where'd that milk come from? 

SARAH: And she was like, you're so right, dude. She was like, I guess I'll figure something out 

KAYLA: Good 

SARAH: She was making cookies 

KAYLA: Okay, good 

SARAH: Anyway, our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are…Oh, well, from last week we had Ani. Ani sent us a very long, delightful message on Patreon 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: That expressed that some people pronounce their name Ani and some people pronounce it Ani and they don't have a preference to which I say, huh? 

KAYLA: Now what do I do? I don’t know, what do I do? 

SARAH: But thank you, anyway Ani, even though you… Now I feel like I’m splitting the difference 

KAYLA: I mean, maybe that's for the best maybe you just, like, every other time you do it different, you know 

SARAH: Anyway, Ani would like to promote the importance of being kind to yourself and others and that's very nice 

KAYLA: That is very good. Yes 

SARAH: Our other $10 patrons who are supporting this week are Selena Dobson who would like to promote the Community Entertainment Fund, David Harris who would like to promote the Cradle Book Series Derek and Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face and Elle Bitter who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators slash CIRS. Our other $10 patrons are Allison, Arcness, Benjamin Ybarra, Boston Smith, my aunt Jeannie, Maff, Martin, Giselle Parker, Purple Haze, Barefoot Backpacker, and Song of Storm. I would like to clarify that Barefoot Backpacker is their legal government name. 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: I saw some sort of conversation in the Discord about that recently and I just want to put that on the record that that is their legal government name. 

KAYLA: Yeah, everyone's... Every name Sarah just said is that person's legal government name. 

SARAH: Cinnamon Toast Punch. 

KAYLA: Cinnamon Tea Punch. 

SARAH: I saw a video about this Aussie woman who was trying to figure out how strict their name regulation system actually is. And she couldn't really get a good answer. But she was pregnant. So... 

KAYLA: Oh no. What'd she do? 

SARAH: So, she was like, I’m going to fucking test this shit. 

KAYLA: No, don't do that. 

SARAH: And so, she named her child... 

KAYLA: No, no, no, no. 

SARAH: I need to check on the middle name. 

KAYLA: I’m scared. Don't do this. 

SARAH: Yeah. Her last name is Drysdale. So, she named her child Methamphetamine Rules Drysdale. 

KAYLA: No, no, no. 

SARAH: And it got through. 

KAYLA: So now what is she going to do? 

SARAH: Well, she like, you know, wrote about it and was like, I’m a journalist. This is my journalism. I have a child named Meth Rules. 

KAYLA: Okay, but now what is she going to do? 

SARAH: And New South Wales was like, oh, yeah, that was a mistake. That shouldn't have made it through. And so now they like were working with her to like actually get it really changed. But like, but she like couldn't get a good answer. So, she was like, fine, I'll fucking test it myself. 

KAYLA: This is modern journalism. 

SARAH: I also like how this article says the headline is, journalist accidentally ends up naming baby Meth Rules. That was not an accident. 

KAYLA: That was not an accident. She very purposefully did that. 

SARAH: I watched a video about it. That was not an accident. 

KAYLA: That kid is going to have one hell of a story to tell. 

SARAH: And I’m like, what's the kid's name now? 

KAYLA: Yeah, what do you go from there? Just like, John? 

SARAH: Adderall. 

KAYLA: Mm. Yeah, just keep kind of bumping it down. 

SARAH: Little baby Adderall Bumping it? 

KAYLA: Yep. 

SARAH: Goodbye. No, we're not done. Um... Our $15 patrons are Ace, who would like to promote The Writer, Crystal Share, Andrew Hillam, who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum podcast, Dia chapelle, who would like to promote twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector Mareo, who would like to promote Friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you to grow as a better person. Nathaniel White, who would like to promote nathanieljwhitedesigns.com and Kayla Zanina, who would like to promote KateMaggartArt.com 

[01:00:00]

SARAH: Our $20 patrons, Dragonfly, who would like to promote naming your child Methamphetamine Rules, just check to see how serious the census are thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears, in person together, we're going to be in the same room 

KAYLA: Oh true, my god, true. Um... And also, until then name your cows Methamphetamine Methamphetamine, Methamphetamine Meth... how do you say it? 

SARAH: Methamphetamine? 

KAYLA: Methamphetamine? 

SARAH: Mm-hmm 

KAYLA: Methamphetamine

SARAH: M?

KAYLA: Metham... and until then name your cows Methamphetamine

SARAH: I’m so sorry, Bagel 

KAYLA: Rip 

SARAH: Methamphetamine 

KAYLA: Methamphetamine 

SARAH: Don't give your cows meth though, okay, bye.

[END OF TRANSCRIPT]

Sounds Fake But Okay