Ep 52: Astrology
SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)
KAYLA: And a demi straight girl (that’s me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don’t understand.
KAYLA: On today’s episode: Astrology.
BOTH: — Sounds fake, but okay.
*Intro music*
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Noot. Okay.
SARAH: Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: Astrology, bitch.
SARAH: Yeah. So I just thought of this the other day, and I was like, dude, we’ve got to.
KAYLA: And then we were supposed to do something else today, and then I was like –
SARAH: Kayla was too excited.
KAYLA: I really want to do astrology.
SARAH: Kayla was legitimately just too excited.
KAYLA: I was.
SARAH: So here we are. This was my idea, but you were the one who got carried away about it, so Kayla just started –
KAYLA: I did not get carried away.
SARAH: Yeah, you did.
KAYLA: Okay. So Jenna and Julien, my queens, they have a podcast also, among many other things, but they also did an episode recently looking at their entire star charts and their combatibility, because –
SARAH: Their combatibility?
KAYLA: Honestly, yes –
SARAH: Basically.
KAYLA: Because their signs are pretty opposite. So you can go on this website, Cafe Astrology, and get your whole blirth chart, so that means –
SARAH: Blirth chard.
KAYLA: Stop, I have a ?? (2.17) in my mouth because my throat hurts and I'm an audio professional, (laughing) and my voice is my career.
SARAH: Kayla, stop. I hate you.
KAYLA: So cafeastrology.com, and you can look at your birth chart. So it's not only your stars or your Sun sign, which is your main Zodiac sign, but you can look at your Moon sign and your Neptune in rising and all this bullshit that I don't understand. So we are going to look at that because Sarah said –
SARAH: So I'm a Libra and whenever I see stuff about Libra stuff I’m always just like, that’s wrong. Because Libra likes to tell me that I'm obsessed with love and I'm like, you're just incorrect.
KAYLA: So we're going to do that, and then we're also going to look at our compatibility.
SARAH: Oh my God, this is so exciting.
KAYLA: As lovers.
SARAH: As lovers.
KAYLA: And then we'll look at mine too, for funzies.
SARAH: Nice.
KAYLA: Are you ready?
SARAH: Astrology is such a hype.
KAYLA: Astrology is like – Do I buy it? I really don't know.
SARAH: No, I don't.
KAYLA: Do I think it's super interesting? Yes.
SARAH: Yes. It's like personality tests.
KAYLA: Boy, don't even get me started.
SARAH: I won't. Move past it.
KAYLA: This is the thing, I think mediums and psychics and ghosts and stuff are really interesting too, and I kind of buy that.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: I buy it a little bit.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: So this stuff is just very interesting to me.
SARAH: All right, go.
KAYLA: Are you ready?
SARAH: I'm ready.
KAYLA: Okay. Let me put my glasses on.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: Okay, so Sarah has a Sun in Libra, so that's her main Zodiac sign.
SARAH: Yes, that is I.
KAYLA: You ready?
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: All right. "Libra negatives are generally thought to be sociable, somewhat intellectual souls."
SARAH: Here I am.
KAYLA: Okay. "They have an almost innocent way about them that makes them very approachable."
SARAH: Am I approachable? I've been told I'm not.
KAYLA: I skimmed this and I thought it was interesting, because often I feel like people are intimidated by you.
SARAH: Yeah, they're intimidated by me and then they realize pretty quickly that there's no reason to be, but they usually start out that way.
KAYLA: Yeah. "Generally quite eager to cooperate." False.
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: "Librans spend a lot of their time trying not to rock the boat." That's true.
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA: That's true of you. "In theory, Libras are peace loving. In practice, they can quietly stir up all sorts of trouble with their ways."
SARAH: I don't think I do that. Do I do that?
KAYLA: For me, yes.
SARAH: I wouldn't say it's quiet for you.
KAYLA: No, I would say that you do unintentionally sometimes cause yourself issues.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And that can affect the people around you.
SARAH: What's an example?
KAYLA: Because you procrastinate a lot, and then so sometimes you make everyone late.
SARAH: I mean –
KAYLA: Often. It's not sometimes, this happens every time we try to leave the house as a group. Anyway.
SARAH: It's not always.
KAYLA: This has turned into roast Sarah time. Okay, anyway, "Because Libra enjoys balance in their lives, they seek the middle ground. In the process, they may end up trying to be everything to everyone. This is where their reputation for untruthfulness comes from."
SARAH: Untruthfulness? Sounds fake.
KAYLA: "Generally, their untruth spring from a true desire for peace and fairness, although they may not be comfortable with direct and malicious trickery, they feel totally justified when they lie in order to avoid making waves." No. I think you don't lie so much as just don't say anything.
SARAH: Yeah, I just don't say anything.
KAYLA: "Peace at any price. In this sense, they seem harmless but what can result is quite a ruckus."
SARAH: Oh, a ruckus.
KAYLA: "People involved with Libras may crib about their lack of directness and their apparent inability to take a stand." That's true.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA: "Librans are experts at avoiding being the one to blame. When confronted, they'll calmly and reasonably say, 'What, me? No, I just want peace.'"
SARAH: I say that verbatim, constantly. What, me? No, I just want peace.
KAYLA: (laughing) Next time someone's mad at you, please just say that, because that's incredible. "On the fence, middle ground, middle road; these are all expressions that can safely associate with Libra. Some more powerful signs may consider Libra a little on the weak side."
SARAH: More powerful? Oh, fuck you. I'm offended.
KAYLA: (whispers) I mean, it's true. It's true.
SARAH: What are you talking about?
KAYLA: You just oftentimes don't state your – You're very non-confrontational.
SARAH: Are you calling me wishy-washy?
KAYLA: I don’t think – Here's the thing is, I know you're not wishy-washy, but you don't verbalize to other people that that's what’s –
SARAH: That I'm not wishy-washy.
KAYLA: Yeah. No, it's true.
SARAH: That’s interesting.
KAYLA: To people that aren't close to you or that you're working more professionally with, you don't tell them what you actually think.
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA: I know. This has turned into therapy.
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: The tea. "This is all a matter of opinion, however. Without Libra, life simply wouldn't be as fair."
SARAH: I bring the fairness, constantly.
KAYLA: Okay. "Librans are known for comparing and thinking in relative terms, instead of in absolutes. This weekend is not just a good weekend, it's better than last weekend."
SARAH: See, see, the reason why that happens is because I'm so indecisive.
KAYLA: That's so true.
SARAH: So you have to do relatives because you know –
KAYLA: That's true. "These people are always looking for the best way or the right way to live. Harmony is the ultimate goal, but their idealism and high expectations can mean plenty of discontent. Since life presents all of us with an extraordinary amount of choices, if Libra doesn't learn to live in the moment, at least some of the time, they'll be in a constant state of unrest."
SARAH: (dramatically) Unrest.
KAYLA: "Society needs rules and these rules attempt to bring justice, equality and fairness. On an individual level, Libra represents these laws of civilization. Libra comes across as very civilized and rather refined."
SARAH: I'm refined, hos.
KAYLA: That's so not true. That's so not true.
SARAH: Excuse you.
KAYLA: "She has a great need to be part of a group. She likes to mix with people and looks for partnerships."
SARAH: That's funny.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's not true.
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: "She likes and respects justice. She approves of society's values.
SARAH: Uhhh –
KAYLA: “She is level-headed and assimilates quickly."
SARAH: Maybe.
KAYLA: "Weaknesses; does not think enough, she is frivolous."
SARAH: Does not think – So you think there's just cotton balls in my head? Sometimes I just don't think.
KAYLA: Yes. "A dilettante, a person who cultivates an area of interest such as the arts without real commitment or knowledge."
SARAH: Oh, that's not true.
KAYLA: So it's saying you don't have a commitment or knowledge in love, but you will collect it. That just doesn't apply.
SARAH: That just doesn't apply. It's not relevant to me.
KAYLA: Mmm. "She's easily swayed by group pressure."
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA: That's the tea. Hold on. So then there's – The Sun and the Moon sign, I think are your biggest ones.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But you're an Aquarius in your Moon sign. So I can read your Moon sign?
SARAH: Hit me with my Moon sign.
KAYLA: Okay. So, also important, allegedly, is people's Moon sign so I feel like that's your secondary zodiac thing. Is it where the sun was when you were born? Is that how it –
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So this is where the moon was.
SARAH: My sun was on the other side of the planet. It was the middle of night.
KAYLA: Your Moon was in Aquarius.
SARAH: She was up there.
KAYLA: "Moon in Aquarius people are extremely observant. They are lifetime students of human nature, loving to analyze why people do what they do. This often stems from a detached, even shy, personality, especially in youth."
SARAH: I think I relate more to my Moon sign.
KAYLA: Yeah, you are. So far, yes. No, your Sun sign was rather accurate in a lot of ways.
SARAH: It's relatively accurate until you get to love and relationships, and then it's just wildly unapplicable.
KAYLA: Well, to be fair, I don't know that any sign, the love and relationship piece is going to be applicable to you.
SARAH: Yeah, exactly. (loudly) Be platonic. I just want to be platonic.
KAYLA: Okay. "Whether due to character or conditioning, Moon in Aquarius people often grow up feeling different. Although rather sociable, they are often loners at heart. Many have strong egos or at least powerful defense mechanisms and most Lunar Aquarians will do their best to be the most unique and unusual person they can be."
(10:00)
SARAH: I can't believe I'm a Lunar Aquarium.
KAYLA: I said Aquarian.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: It just made me think of an aquarium. I would not like to be an aquarium, that's too much water.
KAYLA: It's pretty wet in terms of water.
SARAH: When it comes to water, that's one of the wettest.
KAYLA: A Trump – (laughs) A Trump? A quote by our president.
SARAH: Our truly horrible president. Argh.
KAYLA: Anyway, for another time. "Their inner feeling of loneliness, that they don't quite fit in, puts them on the outside looking in."
BOTH: (singing) On the outside, always looking in.
SARAH: It turns out this is a Dear Evan Hanson singalong, welcome.
KAYLA: "They are very idealistic and progressive – ", sorry. "There is a very idealistic and progressive streak in Lunar Aquarians that is admirable indeed; however, when the Moon is in Aquarius, natives often will deny the more rational qualities of emotions, such as jealousy, possessiveness and fear, in an effort to be above what they consider pettiness. When this goes too far, Lunar Aquarians can be emotionally blocked, distant, and detached."
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: That's especially when the moon is in Aquarius.
SARAH: When is that?
KAYLA: So, whenever the moon is in the constellation of Aquarius.
SARAH: Totally inside Aquarius?
KAYLA: In an aquarium, yes.
SARAH: In an aquarium.
KAYLA: You've got the moon in an aquarium.
SARAH: Shedd’s Aquarium in Chicago? It's a good aquarium.
KAYLA: Stop. This is not an aquarium review podcast.
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: "Although given to temper tantrums and willful behavior in youth, Moon in Aquarius people often grow up feeling that messy emotions are unappealing."
SARAH: Interesting.
KAYLA: "They often pride themselves in being cool-headed, detached and above what they consider more base emotions."
SARAH: Kayla is just smiling at me.
KAYLA: (laughs) It's so funny. "In the process they can end up alienating others and themselves. Although Lunar Aquarians can be especially adept at understanding other's behaviors and motivations, they can lose touch with their own, simply because they have identified too strongly with what they aspire to be, and these aspirations are often super-human."
SARAH: Lol.
KAYLA: The tea is scalding.
SARAH: I would say it's relatively warm. I don't know about scalding.
KAYLA: It's getting pretty hot. "The Aquarian tendency to be a humanitarian, shows up powerfully in Moon in Aquarius; however, their kindness and concern for others is generally more a broad philosophy of life. With people close to them, Moon in Aquarius natives can seemingly lack compassion, as they often fully expect others to be as independent and detached as they are."
SARAH: Stop laughing.
KAYLA: It's so true. It's so true.
SARAH: I want to throw this at you, which is proof of my apparent lack of compassion.
KAYLA: It's true though, because with the people you're closest to, you show the least amount of emotions towards.
SARAH: Probably.
KAYLA: It's true. Anyway. The tea. "In close personal relationships, however, Lunar Aquarians generally give others a lot of personal freedom and they will tolerate and enjoy all kinds of idiosyncrasies in people around them. Moon in Aquarius people are rarely flighty people, but they can be unreliable when it concerns the little things in life."
SARAH: I don't need your laughter.
KAYLA: (laughing) The tea. "Often this is simply an assertion of their independence."
SARAH: That's not true. I'm just incapable. (laughs)
KAYLA: You're just dumb, that's all.
SARAH: Excuse you. I have ADHD, that doesn't make me dumb, Kayla.
KAYLA: No, I know it doesn't make you dumb. You're just, in addition to having ADHD, also dumb.
SARAH: Interesting.
KAYLA: "In the long haul however, they're rather constant as Aquarius is a fixed sign. As long as they have their own space and the freedom to be themselves, however kooky that may be, they're trustworthy and loyal. Lunar Aquarians generally make wonderful friends." False. "They'll make a point of leaving nobody on the outside. Many will fight for other's rights and crusade for equality. What may be surprising is that Moon in Aquarius people have a lot of pride."
"In fact, when they've been attacked in any way, especially regarding their character, they can become very inflexible and cool. It can be difficult to know just how sensitive to criticism Lunar Aquarians are, simply because they hide it so well."
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: Oh, tea. "When their character or behavior has been criticized, they tend to dig in their heels and keep right on doing in. They fully expect others to accept them exactly as they are, or they don't have much use for them in their lives."
SARAH: I don't know if that's true.
KAYLA: Yeah. Because that's where your Moon and your Sun are in conflict, I would say.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Well, also, if you believe what this says, you're supposed to take them in a hierarchical order, so your Sun sign is most of you, and then your Moon sign is –
SARAH: I don't think that's true. Well, that's the thing with Astrology, is that it gives you such a broad range of things.
KAYLA: Oh, it's very vague.
SARAH: And you're able to just pick what you think applies, and ignore what you don't think applies.
KAYLA: But that’s why it’s funny.
SARAH: And then you're like, oh my God, that's so me, and you're like, well no, there's so much that doesn't apply here.
KAYLA: But it's funny anyway. "These sometimes maddeningly unpredictable people are nevertheless quite charming.”
SARAH: Thank you
KAYLA: “They have an unmistakable stubborn streak but when left to be themselves, they make unusual and endlessly interesting people to be around."
SARAH: Thank you.
KAYLA: "Life just wouldn't be the same without Lunar Aquarians’ unusual spin on the world and the people in it."
SARAH: You're welcome.
KAYLA: Short description. "She is sociable, intelligent and lucid."
SARAH: Lucid?
KAYLA: Yeah. "Thanks to great social ability, she has many friends. She is modern, original, inventive, non-conformist and brings new life to everything she does."
SARAH: That's so many words.
KAYLA: "Weaknesses; She's eccentric with sharp mood swings."
SARAH: Why is that a weakness?
KAYLA: "Complex love-life."
SARAH: A very complex love-life; it doesn't exist. It's so complex I can't even describe it, because it doesn't exist. You heard it here first, kids.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: You're welcome.
KAYLA: Your next big one is Venus in Sagittarius.
SARAH: Venus in Sagittarius.
KAYLA: This talks a lot about love, if you'd like to hear this.
SARAH: Give me the quick run down because we do have to get to our compatibility because that's where we –
KAYLA: Let's see. "Idealistic lovers, they won't put up with lovers who dwell on any one thing, attracted to people in love with life." I don't know. All right. Do you want to do mine?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay. So my Sun is Taurus.
SARAH: Whenever you say Sun, I keep thinking you mean your child.
KAYLA: My child is a Taurus. "There's something very solid about Taurus natives, no matter what the rest of their charts say about them. Though they are dependable most of the time, this generally shows itself more in habit than in outright helpfulness."
SARAH: Pffft.
KAYLA: The tea. "Taurus natives are sensual folk, and this includes sex but extends to pleasures in all areas. They delight in the sensual pleasures of food, a comfortable blanket or richly colored aquarium to look at."
SARAH: An aquarium?
KAYLA: I like looking at Sarah.
SARAH: I can't believe that we have so many aquariums on this podcast.
KAYLA: I know.
SARAH: Maybe we should become an aquarium review podcast.
KAYLA: Spinoff?
SARAH: Spinoff? Actually, I don't really like aquariums that much.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: Zoos and aquariums, overrated.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: I get bored.
KAYLA: Yeah, okay.
SARAH: Also, why are they captive? Why do we do that?
KAYLA: Well, sometimes it's for their health, but most of the time it's not.
SARAH: But most of the time it's not. All right, continue.
KAYLA: All right. "The smell of flowers or spring rain, pleasing melodies coming from their stereos and so forth. Some might even – "
SARAH: What if it's someone else's stereo?
KAYLA: Not okay.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: "Some might even say that they live through their senses more than most." That's true. I do like things that are soft and comfortable. "When Taurus natives work, they work hard. They do it with a steadiness that may rarely be considered quick; rather, it's dependable plodding and steady effort that has its pay-offs. Security is mentally important to Taurus. Some of them actively seek wealth while others are content to be comfortable. The Taurus definition of comfortable may not be exactly the same as the rest of the signs, but comfort is definitely a driving force."
SARAH: Blankets. Taurus’ just wants blankets.
KAYLA: Personally, yes. "Although hard working, their fixed and comfort-loving nature sometimes makes them appear lazy. This is only because they separate work and leisure so well."
SARAH: Ugh, can't relate.
KAYLA: I know. "When they work, they work hard and when they play, they don't really play as such, they relax." That's true. I just like sitting.
SARAH: She likes blankets.
KAYLA: I just like to sit. "A Solar Taurus who has kicked his or her feet up, is rooted there. You'll be hard pressed to get them to move. On a mental level, you'll likely have the same problem. Taureans stick with things and ideas, and therein lies one of the reasons why they're known for their stubbornness. Taurus is a fixed sign and may have a fair measure of tradition and steadiness in their make-up that keeps them rooted."
SARAH: In your make-up? Your mascara?
KAYLA: Honestly, the mascara that I've been using recently does not like to come off, so yes.
SARAH: Yeah, you have to get a better make-up remover.
KAYLA: I have one that works now.
SARAH: Okay, good.
KAYLA: It's fine. Ma’am –
SARAH: Important things. Continue.
KAYLA: Okay. "The possessiveness associated with Taurus shows up in all areas of life in some way. Taurus likes to own things and sometimes, people."
SARAH: Oh my God. Kayla, are you trying to own me?
KAYLA: I already do.
SARAH: (singing) You don't own me.
KAYLA: This is still a sing-along. Okay. "A nice home, a piece of land, this could be modest, a paid off car."
SARAH: The land can be modest but nothing else.
KAYLA: But the rest must be just – That aquarium mentioned earlier –
SARAH: Oh my God, why do you love aquariums?
KAYLA: I don't.
(20:00)
SARAH: Why is everyone born in the month of May obsessed with aquariums?
KAYLA: Well, they're not because half of May is Gemini, so.
SARAH: It's not half, it's a third.
KAYLA: "A couple pets, maybe a solid business. In love and relationship, there is an earthy kind of possessiveness that maybe consider jealous – "
SARAH: Earthy possessiveness –
KAYLA: "Could be considered jealousy by some, but there is actually quite a difference between being possessive and being jealous."
SARAH: Well, I would say neither of them are that great.
KAYLA: "Taurus natives are rarely jealous and petty." That's so not true. I am the pettiest person.
SARAH: She is the pettiest person I know.
KAYLA: That's so true. "They do, however, think of people they love as theirs. It adds to their sense of security."
SARAH: I can't believe that Kayla thinks she owns me, this is a concern.
KAYLA: I do own you.
SARAH: I want to be free, like a butterfly. I don't like butterflies that much.
KAYLA: "Short description; she is strong-willed, she has charm and is tolerant and stoical."
SARAH: Stoical?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I think the correct term would be stoic. It wouldn't be stoical.
KAYLA: "She likes pleasure and the good things in life. Appreciates the arts."
SARAH: But what are the good things in life, Kayla?
KAYLA: A blanket.
SARAH: A blanket.
KAYLA: "Weaknesses; obstinacy, laziness, she can be materialistic."
SARAH: She is.
KAYLA: That's true. I like things. All right. I have a moon in Gemini. Ah, I'm lame as hell.
SARAH: Why?
KAYLA: Because they're both the main signs.
SARAH: Aquarius is January, isn't it?
KAYLA: I have no idea.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: All right. "Moon in Gemini. Lunar Geminis are usually pleasant, witty and charming."
SARAH: Sounds fake.
KAYLA: It's not. I'm so charming.
SARAH: If she has to say it –
KAYLA: "At home and with family, however, they can be quite moody and irritable at times." That's so true, that's so true. "People with moon in Gemini are always interesting people. They have a finger in every pie."
SARAH: I like how they say they're always interesting, as if there is a group of people who is just not interesting.
KAYLA: Yeah, which sign is not –
SARAH: Which sign is not interesting?
KAYLA: Who's boring?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: "Are curious to a fault and are generally well informed. Nervousness and worry are common traits with this lunar position." Tea. "An underlying restlessness is common, and many Lunar Geminis need more stimulation than others. They usually read a lot, talk a lot and think a lot with this airy, mutable position of the Sun."
SARAH: So you think a lot, and I never think.
KAYLA: And you're dumb. What a perfect pair.
SARAH: I hate it.
KAYLA: "Their homes are often a perpetual work in progress. They generally dislike housework but are big on home improvement. They organize – "
SARAH: That doesn't make sense.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: That doesn't make sense.
KAYLA: Yeah, it does.
SARAH: Yeah, I know, it does but it just seems like you're a bad – That would make someone a very bad housemate.
KAYLA: It would; however, I am one of the only people here that cleans, so.
SARAH: Kind of.
KAYLA: Fake.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: This is fake. I'm good at housework, I just hate it.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Well, it's true, "They generally dislike it." I do dislike it. "Reorganizing their homes in little and sometimes big ways seems to keep them happy, as Lunar Geminis are easily bored by both routine and constancy." That is not true. "Often this is a reflection of their inner world. The grass is always greener applies here. Inwardly, Lunar Geminis are often unsettled. Moon in Gemini parents are generally more adept at handling the intellectual needs of their children, than emotional ones." That's not true. "Others’ complicated emotions, in general, can be difficult for Lunar Geminis to handle."
SARAH: You do nothing but deal with other people's emotions.
KAYLA: (laughs) That's all I do. "In their families, Lunar Geminis often take on the role of organizing get-togethers." False. "They're at their best when they have plenty of things to do beyond routine." That's true. "Moon in Gemini people almost always have a way with words. They're clever and witty and more often than not, can be found chatting with others. They are sociable and friendly, and feel comfortable in crowds."
SARAH: Why is everyone sociable?
KAYLA: I am not comfortable in crowds.
SARAH: She sure isn't.
KAYLA: "Some pay too much attention to what everyone else is doing, and lose touch with what they really want to do."
SARAH: Yeah, Kayla, why are you always losing touch?
KAYLA: Fun.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: For fun?
KAYLA: For fun.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: "Generally, Lunar Geminis have a million and one projects going. They're impressionable folk and their imagination is boundless. Their openness to new ideas is admirable, although decisiveness and persistence take a blow as a result." Oh, no. "Still, versatility and adaptability are some of the stronger traits of this position of the Moon. When irritable, these people can easily become snappy. Their moodiness is complicated. This is not the same kind of moodiness you'll find with water-sign Moons, for example."
SARAH: So you have like a unique moodiness.
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm special.
SARAH: You're moody –
KAYLA: But in a special way.
SARAH: It's special, like I’m cooler than you, you know?
KAYLA: "Usually difficult behavior stems from inner restlessness. Lunar Geminis want to do it all and have trouble stickling to any one project. When problems arise, the first instinct of Moon in Gemini natives, is to talk things out. Their tendency to analyze can give them the appearance of emotional detachment. In fact, Lunar Geminis may be especially comfortable talking about their feelings, but feeling their own feelings doesn't come easily. Those that don't take time out to really emote and understand their own needs, may end up baffling others.
Feeling misunderstood is common for Moon in Gemini natives. The only real solution to the problem is learning to get in touch with their own feelings."
SARAH: Get in touch, Kayla.
KAYLA: I know. "Short description; sharp intellect, she likes literature, adapts to all situations and social groups, work in contact with the public, literary occupations, travel. Weaknesses; lack of follow-up ideas, indecision, goes back on decisions."
SARAH: Oh, no. Well, check compatibility, Kayla.
KAYLA: All right.
SARAH: We're going to find out if we're romantically compatible.
KAYLA: Here's the tea. So I think this is, "Concerns the possible relationships between two charts, especially the emotional and romantic relationship, but also aspects of social, intellectual and spiritual levels." Okay, so this I think is, it's set up as things that could be positive and things that could be negative.
SARAH: Oh, man.
KAYLA: We have a lot of positives.
SARAH: I think so.
KAYLA: "Positive aspects. They instinctively feel comfortable with one another and instinctively know how to comfort one another. They feel safe together."
SARAH: Here's the thing, I don't know how to comfort anyone.
KAYLA: That's just a you thing, though.
SARAH: You know the gif of a person who, someone is sad so they have a broom?
KAYLA: That's from Parks and Rec. Mm-hmm
SARAH: Mm-hmm, I couldn't remember where it's from.
KAYLA: That's you. That's you.
SARAH: That's me.
KAYLA: "They know exactly how to interpret the other person to see how they feel, to understand them."
SARAH: Do you understand me, Kayla?
KAYLA: I like to think so.
SARAH: Interesting.
KAYLA: "Positive aspect. They go well together, understand and have confidence in each other, develop side by side in similar ways, and may have many joints projects."
SARAH: Oh my God, we have one joint project.
KAYLA: "They could have a happy family, where there children, if they have them, grow up in a pleasing atmosphere. There's a lot of humor and warmth in this – " There's no warmth in this relationship.
SARAH: There is zero warmth.
KAYLA: Cold, always.
SARAH: Cold humor.
KAYLA: Ew. "Great passionate affair, very intense and transforming, they feel that their relationship forces them to grow."
SARAH: I don't like the word passionate in this context.
KAYLA: I don't either. "Here's a couple you like to be with. They are charming, agreeable and know how to entertain their friends generously and warmly."
SARAH: Warmly, again.
KAYLA: I know. "They go well together and love each other in a discreet and sincere way, and appreciate the joys of life together."
SARAH: The joys of life together.
KAYLA: "Challenging aspect. This relationship can somehow encourage illusions and the disappointments that follow. These two people have a hard time understanding each – " They just said we understand each other, though.
SARAH: Oh my God. See, this is the problem with astrology.
KAYLA: I know. "Have a hard time understanding each other, and if they insist on living together, the little deceptions or lies-"
SARAH: If they insist?
KAYLA: Yeah, we have insisted. "The little deceptions or lies can add up and undermine their relationship. It's important to be clear and clear up misconceptions."
SARAH: What misconceptions?
KAYLA: I just don't know.
SARAH: I'm not sure what misconceptions you speak of, so.
KAYLA: I know. "This is one indicator that suggest the relationship will endure. The union or love, passion grows and lasts. This union can be favorable if the two mutually respect each other. They both like their – "
SARAH: I don't respect you.
KAYLA: I know. "They both like their independence, their freedom of thought and action. Their relationship may be marked by distinct phys-, phys-" Wow, oh my God.
SARAH: Physiological.
KAYLA: No. "Psycho – Philosophal (laughs) Philosophical interests and unusual ideas or belief systems, which ideally are encouraged in one another. There can be a nice meeting of minds on the bigger issues."
SARAH: Hey, I watched The Good Place, I know about moral philosophy and ethics.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Kant, he's a guy.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Utilitarianism, I know what that means.
KAYLA: All right. I'm going to keep going.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: "Each has confidence in the other. They're made to understand each other and live together. They will help each other throughout life."
SARAH: But will you really?
KAYLA: "Challenging aspect." Oh, okay, so Mercury, which I think in this case is me. "They find it difficult to tolerate Sarah."
SARAH: Are you in retrograde?
KAYLA: Yeah. "So Kayla might find it difficult to tolerate Sarah, when Sarah seems to be critical of Kayla's ideas. Kayla complains that Sarah's assessments are too practical, rigid and unimaginative."
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: And that is the tea.
SARAH: That's the tea.
(30:00)
KAYLA: Oh, no. "There can be difficulties feeling free in another's presence. Sometimes Sarah can be too rigid or Sarah might prefer a quiet, uneventful life while Kayla wants to be freer and more spontaneous. This requires work; be careful not to restrict or rain on one another's parade too often."
SARAH: I mean, I don't like getting wild and lit, but I don't know if I would say that you're more spontaneous than I am.
KAYLA: No. What this reminds me of is sometimes I'll want to do work and I'll be ready to do something, and I'll try to get you to answer a question I have for work, and you are just not in that head space. You're like, "I am not here for that right now"
SARAH: I am busy.
KAYLA: I know.
SARAH: Thinking about Superstore.
KAYLA: Anything else. Probably. "An ideal couple, prosperous, happy, good intellectual understanding, great confidence in each other, a successful family life."
SARAH: Confidence in each other? I don't know, son.
KAYLA: Zero. "Favorable for union, linking originality to initiative and decision making. You encourage one another to be inventive."
SARAH: But we're both indecisive. What the fuck?
KAYLA: I know. Maybe together, two indecisive people –
SARAH: Two indecisive people together –
KAYLA: No, it does because if two people are together, and they're both indecisive, someone has to make the decisions.
SARAH: I just disagree because I lived this summer with three other people, we were all just way too chill about things, and we were trying to decide what movie should we see, or oh, how are going to divvy up where people are sleeping, and we were just all so indecisive and chill, that we literally couldn't make a decision.
KAYLA: Well, I take that back then.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: "The sexual connection tends to be dynamic, fresh and exciting."
SARAH: Ew, I don't want – No.
KAYLA: I also don't want it. "Favorable union, there can be shared artistic taste and common sensibilities. There can be a focus on fantasy, gentleness and romance or compassion, and acceptance."
SARAH: Romance and compassion.
KAYLA: Ew.
SARAH: Two things I'm not good at.
KAYLA: Here's what you're going to hate. It's the last one. "Enormous physical passion, the sexual attraction is intense and insistent. They want to be around each other as much as possible." False. "Their sexual relationship evolves with time, instead of dissolves."
SARAH: Ew.
KAYLA: Yep, that's it. That's what I got for you.
SARAH: Here's a question, who writes these? Do they just look at the sky and go, ah, yes. God spoke to me.
KAYLA: I think that's it, yeah.
SARAH: God gave me the ten commandments, and they are the ten commandments of astrology. That's how astrology works.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Who comes up with this? Why are the stars so heteronormative? I don't think the stars are heteronormative; I think that whoever is writing this shit is heteronormative.
KAYLA: The people interpreting the stars.
SARAH: Yeah. I don't know. All astrology assumes that there is a romantic and a sexual component to your world.
KAYLA: I have found a friendship compatibility.
SARAH: Oh my God, friendship compatibility. Tell me more, tell me more.
KAYLA: All right. "A companionship between a Taurus and a Libra is like a joining of two parts to completion."
SARAH: Oh. To completion?
KAYLA: Ew.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You were the one that made that, that.
SARAH: I don't like that.
KAYLA: "Both star signs want stability and security. Their sophisticated nature attracts them to art, literature and culture."
SARAH: Remember, I'm sophisticated.
KAYLA: But that kind of makes sense with this [podcast].
SARAH: This is culture. This is art.
KAYLA: Well, it could be, if we were better at it. "Their common wants and objectives result in the formation of a close bond between them."
SARAH: Do we have common wants and objectives?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Oh, okay.
KAYLA: Okay. "This similarity of objectives, might not be apparent straight away, as superficially they don't have common interests.” That's not true. We do have common interests. "As they look beneath the surface, they would realize that they are far more alike than they had at first thought, and a mutual admiration keeps developing between them."
SARAH: I mean, I would say we have – We do have things in common, and then we do have mutual interests and similar sense of humor, I guess, because we are stupid. But in terms of our actual personalities, I don't know how similar they actually are.
KAYLA: Yeah, on the surface I think we seem very similar because we do have the same sense of humor, but I think if you actually get down to it –
SARAH: Which is the opposite of what that says.
KAYLA: Right. When we actually get down to it, you and I are kind of opposites, in a lot of ways.
SARAH: Yeah. I'm late a lot.
KAYLA: Yeah. I know.
SARAH: I have class in 42 minutes.
KAYLA: Oh my God, okay. "Taurus and Libra adore esthetic pleasures and often seek and obtain works of art and jewelry. They are fond of drama and the theater."
SARAH: Ah, yes.
KAYLA: It's true.
SARAH: We love a drama in the theater.
KAYLA: We do. "Both partners view feeling and pleasure as very significant, and could balance each other in several ways."
SARAH: See, but that doesn't match up with what it said about me.
KAYLA: I don't know. "Taurus appreciates Libra's charismatic nature and diplomatic skills."
SARAH: I am a diplomat.
KAYLA: That's so not true. "Libra appreciates Taurus's love of beauty, and the pleasures and comforts that come with it."
SARAH: I think that the false assumption here is that I appreciate anything about you.
KAYLA: Yeah. "Libra could help Taurus focus on different sides of a problem, before making hasty decisions. Taurus could help the otherwise wavering Libra to be more firm and more resolute."
SARAH: But I thought we're both indecisive?
KAYLA: Yeah, but if you take this as –
SARAH: So it's saying that I'm more indecisive than you are?
KAYLA: I suppose. What I could interpret this as, is that I could help you be more firm and more resolute, and that could tie in to you not standing up for yourself, or saying what you think.
SARAH: Wait, what? Say that again.
KAYLA: I could help you be more firm and more resolute. That could tie in –
SARAH: What do you mean, tie in?
KAYLA: That could be similar to how your Sun sign was, you don't like to stand up for yourself.
SARAH: Oh, I thought you meant that you will help me be more resolute, and that would make me stand up for myself less. And I was like, what?
KAYLA: That's the exact opposite.
SARAH: I mean, yeah. Listen, I just hope you see all possible options, because I like to make it harder to make decisions.
KAYLA: Honestly, you do often make it harder to make decisions.
SARAH: How do I make it harder to make decisions?
KAYLA: Because you're so annoying.
SARAH: Okay. That's not very descriptive.
KAYLA: But fair.
SARAH: I need more description.
KAYLA: All right. See, you're just, oh, I need more description.
SARAH: Well, you're giving me no reasoning, you're just making a blind claim.
KAYLA: "The ruling planet of both Taurus and Libra is Venus.
SARAH: Oh my God, Venus. My romantic queen.
KAYLA: “Taurus and Libra have a love of beauty and opulence."
SARAH: Opulence?
KAYLA: "They both have winning personalities, and a desire for affability."
SARAH: I can't believe that we officially have winning personalities. (clap) That was a high-five, that wasn't just a very sharp noise.
KAYLA: It wasn't me slapping Sarah in the face, which honestly it could've been.
SARAH: I can't believe we're so opulent. We're such opulent women.
KAYLA: I don't even know what that means.
SARAH: Opulent means like grandeur, grandiose, which I don't think for me is true.
KAYLA: I don't know. "The influence of Venus could cause both signs to be idle and even conceited. Taurus of their possessions and Libra of their intellect."
SARAH: Of my intellect?
KAYLA: You sounded like John Mulaney.
SARAH: I know. He's just been in my head a lot recently.
KAYLA: "Taurus is an Earth sign and Libra is an Air sign."
SARAH: I'm not Air, though.
KAYLA: You're an Air sign.
SARAH: I'm trying to remember which one I am.
KAYLA: Stop. You have class in half an hour. Stop.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: "Taurus are more rational minded while Libra crave for scholarly pursuits. Taurus works towards accomplishing – "
SARAH: Wait, so you're more rational-minded but I'm more scholarly? That doesn't make sense.
KAYLA: (laughing) I don't know.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: "Taurus work towards accomplishing their goals while Libra is more interested in satisfying their intellectual curiosity."
SARAH: Probably.
KAYLA: That's probably true. "This could make it difficult for either friend to understand the other, and lead to disagreements if Taurus finds Libra socializing too much, or Libra finds Taurus too restraining."
SARAH: But I thought we knew each other really well.
KAYLA: I don't know, man.
SARAH: This is the problem with astrology.
KAYLA: "Taurus is a fixed sign and Libra is a cardinal sign. Taurus have a tendency – "
SARAH: So my Moon sign is fixed and my Sun sign is a bird?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: "Taurus have a tendency to be obstinate. Libra must understand this and resort to gentle persuasion, rather than open confrontation to overcome this nature of the Taurus."
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Well, also, would you really confront me if you wanted to, anyway?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Yeah. "Taurus, on the other hand, might be vexed by Libra's irresolute nature.
SARAH: I am vexing.
KAYLA: “Libra could see and evaluate all facets of a situation, and could accept Taurus's decisions, as long as Taurus are not too adamant and opinionated. Libra could start new ventures in their partnership, while Taurus could ensure they're running to completion. The best aspect of a friendship between a Taurus and a Libra is their common love for art, beauty, literature and culture."
SARAH: We're obsessed with culture.
KAYLA: Yeah, we really are. "Both partners adore esthetic pursuits and love their finger..." Oh my God, "Love the finer things in life."
SARAH: (laughing) You love a finger.
KAYLA: I love a good finger.
SARAH: You have a lovely little finger.
(40:00)
KAYLA: "Their common interests result in a strong relationship between them."
SARAH: We both just really love fingers and blankets. I don't know what to tell you.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's pretty true.
SARAH: Kayla, to summarize what we've learned today. Well, no, we're not summarizing, we're analyzing.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: How accurate do you feel this was?
KAYLA: I think a lot of things about the thing we first read for you, was funnily accurate.
SARAH: You know what would be interesting? If we literally actually analyzed it, and took it apart, and put it into boxes of yes or no.
KAYLA: Well, then you would also have to go through all the other signs and see yes and no, and if it's true, you should have more yeses in your Libra box.
SARAH: That also involves a lot of decision making.
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: I can't make decisions.
KAYLA: I'm not talking to you anymore.
SARAH: It's a podcast, you have to. But it'll be interesting to see what the ratio is because yeah, you're going to remember the things that apply to you. You're going to just forget the things that don't, unless they really, really don't apply to you, which is why I always remember that Libra always thinks I’m obsessed with love, and that's not true.
But yeah, I mean, astrology, whether or not you believe in it, it is interpreted by humans and because of the status quo, because of heteronormativity, it's always going to be based a lot in romantic and sexual stuff.
KAYLA: Yeah. But also if you remember from the podcast we did with Asritha, and in Indian culture it is actually used to put marriages together.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So, this was fun. I had good time.
SARAH: Yeah, it was strange. Self-indulgent, one might say.
KAYLA: Yeah, but like a bit of therapy for you.
SARAH: Just for me?
KAYLA: I know.
SARAH: I think you're deflecting.
KAYLA: Oh, what was therapy about it for me, Sarah?
SARAH: All of it.
KAYLA: Okay. Good.
SARAH: Yeah, I mean, I personally don't believe in astrology but I think it's interesting to read.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But I think you can definitely find a bit of yourself in any of them, in any of the things. But there are some funny memes in there. I find it interesting when you see that Tumblr post where it's – It gives a quote or something from some movie where each person, each star sign gets a quote, and I'm like, wow, that applies.
KAYLA: I also love that we all hate Geminis.
SARAH: Everyone hates Geminis.
KAYLA: That's my favorite.
SARAH: Well, you got a little bit of Gemini Moon sign in you.
KAYLA: I do.
SARAH: And I'm an aquarium, so.
KAYLA: And I love aquariums.
SARAH: Kayla loves me.
KAYLA: That's our true compatibility.
SARAH: Our true compatibility is that I am an aquarium, and Kayla loves aquariums.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Ah, what's our poll?
KAYLA: Do you think your description of your zodiac is accurate to you?
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: Yes?
SARAH: Yes or no.
KAYLA: Or no?
SARAH: Yeah, solid. Kayla, what's your beef of the week?
KAYLA: Oh, girl, my beef of the week is when people are like, I need you to do this, and you're like, I got it. I'll do it. And they're like, I need you to do this in two days, and you're like, I don't think you understand how this works, I need more than two days. That's my vague beef of the week. It's more specific than that, but that's my vague beef of the week.
SARAH: Okay. Sounds good. My beef of the week is how Instagram butchers photo quality, because the vast majority of the pictures I have on my Instagram are taken on a DSLR camera and if they're not –
KAYLA: Because we appreciate art and culture. In this house, we are artists.
SARAH: And if not, they're taken on an iPhone, which is pretty good photo quality.
KAYLA: I took such good pictures on my iPhone yesterday.
SARAH: (mocking) I'm Kayla and I have a fancy iPhone with portrait mode.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: But yeah, Instagram just butchers the quality, especially if you look at it on a computer. The quality is just awful and I always put high quality photos in and then I receive just pixelated disasters –
KAYLA: Trash.
SARAH: And then, sometimes if I lose track of the original photo and I need that photo, I'll just have to screenshot it, but then the quality is so much worse. First world problems. Instagram, you need to be aware that people have better quality screens now.
KAYLA: Wow. All right.
SARAH: And you need to allow for higher photo quality on your website.
KAYLA: Go off, sis.
SARAH: You can find our poll or tell us about your beef of the week on our Twitter @soundsfakepod, you can email soundsfakepod@gmail.com, you can find us on Tumblr, soundsfakepod.tumblr.com or you can find us on Patreon, which I just realized I don’t have the patrons pulled up.
KAYLA: But we do appreciate them. I know we often do fly past them, because we usually go long on episodes, but we recently got mics, and we also redid our subscription for SoundCloud –
SARAH: Hell, yeah. It’s your money, doing things for this pod.
KAYLA: Yeah, you guys funded that so thank you, we do really appreciate it.
SARAH: You know who we appreciate? We appreciate our $2 patrons, Sara Jones and Keith McBlaine. We appreciate our $5 patrons, Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Finney and Perry Fiero.
And we appreciate our $10 patrons. Emma Fink, you can find her on YouTube by looking up Emma T Fink, and Tristan Call who’d like to promote the DeviantArt and Tumblr page @rationallyparanoid.
KAYLA: What’s funny is Sarah says these names so often that we were talking to someone about our Patreon the other day and she could do this whole [thing], she knew all this list.
SARAH: Now I forgot it.
KAYLA: Okay, well when we were talking –
SARAH: No, I forgot it, that was why I was stressed out about it.
KAYLA: Yeah, but you at least remembered the $2 patrons.
SARAH: I did remember the $2 patrons.
KAYLA: Because that’s how you start it off.
SARAH: The $5 ones, I think I always forget the order. Alright, anyway. So Sara Jones and Keith McBlaine, you’re just in my brain. (laughs)
KAYLA: McBlaine in the brain.
SARAH: McBlaine in the brain.
BOTH: (singing) McBlaine in the membrane, McBlaine in the brain.
KAYLA: Wow, you’re welcome, Keith. You got a special shoutout.
SARAH: Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.